₦airaland Forum

Borrow 8 legs join the 2 u have and run for your life. Don't look back oh.

cococandy:
I've an assignment for you. Stop. Take a deep breathe. And ask yourself how your comment is helping the OP.

The fact that people like me advice her to stop looking up to her brother and try for herself doesn't mean we think he shouldn't help her.
Yes he should.
How about in this situation that he isn't doing it? What's a better advice than encouraging her to see herself capable than dependent?

Does your ranting against his wife and other posters help her? Instead of giving her constructive advice like things she can do to get by, you're indulging her in the pity party that she's been looking all year long.
Ask yourself again if after instigating her to hate the sister-in-law more, you'll be there to give her actual practical physical support that she needs when they get more and more alienated from her brother due to her attitude towards his wife (read her past posts).

Meanwhile you call yourself a good person. Taking the liberty to insult all the Christains on this thread by saying our way of life is evil. What have you done as a good Muslim to help her now?

You're even judging people you don't know. Maybe we should all call our brothers and sisters-in-law to come show you how our husbands have been helping them before you know you're not the only 'good' wife on this thread. Right? Madam good woman.

You make too much sense for her to understand. Why come up with a solution when we can heap insults on the brother and invoke the dead parents on him. Why think of all other reasons why he was unable to help her out at that moment when nameless and faceless people can join op to heap curses on a young couple. Who knows why the Inlaw needed money or when she asked, how did she even know it was his Inlaw he sent money to from the muffled 1way conversation she had. Too many gaps in the story but it's a story that comes from the "my Inlaw/mother or fathers brother or sister" is being mean to me group of people so most take her at her word and woe betide anyone who questions them or profers a solution. Don't waste your time jare.

lordkhalifa:
I'm feeling guilty for ruining my sister's home because of carefree lifestyle, my sister's husband stays abroad but he do visit home twice or thrice in a year, few months ago he visit Nigeria to have some times with his family here in Nigeria, I'm the one that always pick him from airport due to our closeness, he is my closest in-law because I'm the one managing some of his projects down here in Nigeria, he is like an elder brother and a friend to me, I usually spend days in his house when ever he is around, I'm free to make use of any of his things not just because he is my sister's husband but I'm the one taken care of his family when if he return to his base, 3days after he came back my sister decide to visit my parents along with the kids and it happened that they are going to spend 3days at my home town... On that faithful day my sister left home, I decide to club, I left my In-law house around 10pm and return the following morning, when I get home I decide to check my In-law in his bedroom, I opened the door he is busy browsing with his laptop, we exchange greetings , he ask me where I went last night, I told him I went clubbing, he smile said oh boy you never stop this your nightlife, abeg go and marry' I jokingly bluffed to him that even though I'm married, it won't stop me from enjoying myself, I said to him, bros you are missing something oooo he should have follow me enjoy the night now madam is not around, he smiled and reply No he don't like nightlife even abroad he rather stays indoor with his laptop than hanging out during ungodly hours, I reply to him ok oooo nah u sabi I left the room to have some sleep, after two days one of my associate me to his birthday at one of the happening club in town, I decide to honor the invitation, on that day,as I'm dressing up for the party, my In-law came in and ask me where I'm going again tonight, I told him to night party, he said so I'm leaving him alone in this house again, I replied him, why not follow me and catch some funs.... He initially decline but after some persuasion he decide to go along with me, we hit the club around 11pm, we met some friends.... catching funs, my In-law usually don't like alcoholic but that day he took some drinks, as we were dancing catching fun with friends, saw my Ex and I introduce her to him, after some few chat, told her to take care of my In-law and keep him accompany till I'm done with the flirting, after about 1hour I left my In-law with the girl I decided to check on them, but they are no where to be found I called him the phone was off I call my Ex she pick the call and refuse to talk, I called her again she busy my call and off her phone, I became worried , I spent all Night looking and calling them but no positive respond, I decide to head home to see if he is there, when I get home around 10am my sister is already back because she took the night bus, she ask me about his husband, I lied to her, that we went out to inspect the site that I drop him off to the bank, without no suspicious she said ok that I should go and fix my breakfast she is too tired to do that for me, 1pm no trace of my In-law or my Ex.... My sister became suspicious and now she is worried, she came to me again and ask me whereabouts of my In-law I lied again that the queue in the bank is much the time I drop him, as we where discussion the door opened and its him, initially I have alert him by sms to be caution and play along because her is back asking his whereabouts and lucky him, he switch on his phone on time read my message on time before getting home he acted perfectly as I instructed him and my sister did not suspect anything, later in the day I confront him, he denied sleeping in hotel with the girl, he told me he saw an old friend and decide to go with him since he is feeling dizzy, I ended the topic so my sister won't overheard our discussion, after weeks he traveled back to his base and things became normal again, 2months after or so, I receive a call from strange number, the caller greeted me to my surprise its my Ex girlfriend, she wanted to see me in person, at first I did not suspect anything, I decline but after some persuasion i decide to see her, we meet at fast food outlet, when she walked in, I notice her tommy, after few minutes into our discussion she told me she has something very disturbing she would like to share/discuss with me, I ask her what's that, she look at my face hiss come little closer, she began , sorry for what happened that day, that its not her intention to betray me but my In-law force her into doing it, I told her to go straight to the point, she said she is pregnant for my In-law I nearly jump up to strangle her, In a harsh voice I replied to her, if what she just told me is a joke, that I don't need it right now,replied, it happened so fast and she is sorry for everything, I stand up pay for our drinks and left her at the fastfood , on my way home I immediately called my In-law and confront him now in harsh voice, he first denied it but beg me to keep away from my sister that he will call me later in the day, I agreed, throughout that day I was not myself, I'm in state of confusion, I was wondering if what she told me are real or she want to hype the responsibilities on my In-law... Later in the day my In-law called me, and beg me to keep it secret to my sister, he is drunk that night and don't know what push him to lodge in a hotel with my Ex girlfriend and they had sex without condom, I became very angry and end the call on him, but he keep calling me, I decide to give him a listening ear, he unfold everything to me how the girl seduce her and took him to a hotel, I ask him why he didn't use condom, he reply its happen too fast that he can't hold himself or resist her , i ask him what of if the girl is Hiv positive so he will risk him life and put my sister in danger, he said nothing as such that I should help him sort it out that money won't be the problem, that he is ready to pay the girl any amount so she can terminate the pregnancy, I agreed to help him so I can save my sister's marriage, I called the girl and ask her to met me somewhere, when we met I go straight to the point and ask her to name her price, so she will terminate that fetus, I told her my In-law denied, that since she is my ex I will help her in best possible way, even if she try to blackmail him, I won't mind standing by him, I won't even mind to betray her because she stab me at my back by agreeing to have unprotected sex with someone I introduce to him as my sisters's husband, since she need money to take care of the pregnancy I will give her any amount she want and took her to good doctor that will help abort the baby without any damage or stress, she was furious and wanted to leave I told her to either take the offer or nothing for her, she said ok... That she need 200k if I want her to terminate the baby, I told her 100k or no deal she refuse but after some smoothing the deal was struck with 150k... I called my In-law and pass the news to him.... He send 200k to me for the settlement and 50k for the abortion... Two days later I called the girl to come and collect part of the money that I will give her the balance after the abortion, she agreed, she come for the money, I gave her 50k and promise to give her the remaining money after the abortion, she agreed and left, on the day of the abortion, I called her number but it was switch off, I try throughout that day but she is nowhere to be found, I went to her place but the door was lock, I went to her close friend she told me she haven't seen her for 2days now, after days of looking for her I decide to let it be whatever the outcome might be I will still handle the situation.... After 2fews of the incident, she start disturbing my line again threatening/blackmail me to give her my In-law contact or she will come to my sister's house with her bags and the pregnancy, I bluff it off but when she post her big tommy to me on whatsapp, I pleaded with her to take it easy and beg her to tell me her whereabouts, she refuse and told me is either the number or i will see her in my sister's house in 5days time, I'm worried, at first I thought she won't come but she finally visit my sister but the day she came my sister was is not around but she drop message, luckily I get the message first before my sister, I called her but she still insist is either the number or she will go to her office, I succumb and decide to give her the number, she is not blackmailing my In-law collect money from him, if he refuse to send money she will threaten him of going to the wife.... Now my sister is suspecting me because of my frequent visit to her place....


Distinguish ladies and Gents, No insult, I need your kind advices because the more I try to hide it more everything is getting complicating, my In-law is planning to home, he might decide to marry this Gold digger as second wife, I have successfully wreck my sister's home, I want to know if there is anyway I can fix this thing back ... Your kind advice will be highly appreciate

Deed is done, she obviously is not terminating the pregnancy. Your sisters husband should confess to his wife. When the baby is born, get a paternity test. For all you know he is not the father. Now regarding the betrayal that is another issue entirely, one I have no idea how you or your Inlaw can make it up to your sister but baby steps

Laffing so hard, if that was me the game just stepped to the next level. Sorry sha, she may forgive u soon

infogenius:
I am back to talk objectively on the main scene in this post.

Quite frankly the op made a mistake. She made it for love as stated in the post.
Did your husband ask you to open your legs for touts? You willingly allowed those riff raffs have their way without ur husband's consent.

Not every man at that scene will understand the sacrifice you made because there was no mutual agreement between you two on what happened. You decided too.

The job of your husband amongst other things is to protect his family. He never gave you that mandate even at the cost of his life. How dare you open your legs without your husband's telling you to?

What makes you think that your husband is not even thinking that you just wanted to have fun?

The husband is mandated to protect his family which includes making the right decisions even at the cost of his life to achieve this.

There was a similar incidence in my area in Festac when I was growing up. According to the report, the woman was even moaning to the jerks of the touts.

That event ended her 6 yrs old marriage as her relationship with her husband broke until they finally divorced.

I will not open my eyes and watch touts ride my wife without telling her to do so. I will rather die.

I have an obligation to protect my wife even at the cost of life.

I am not perturbed by what anyone says about the man been unfair after the wife was raped because of him.

The man had the Final say even at gun point and since the woman gave in ignorantly, she has a lot job to do to win her man back

Are you for real

BumbleBee2ice:
Hmmm, if i say i avnt bin tempted b4 to go sneaking in on him to see who he picks up on his way back home i would be lying. bt do i really need dat?

You know, u can't put hot coals on your chest and not expect it to burn you. When this one you are doing, inviting strangers into your home burns don't come crying oh

GenAnsahCinC:
[Yes, i talk normal with him. He do call me on phone whenever he's at work. He smiles with me, we eat together. But in bed he refuses to touch me. He backs me when sleeping. I don't really want sex. That's not my aim. My husband is a man who enjoys sex I was afraid that if I don't give it to him, he might get it somewhere else. That was why I demanded for sex and I was surprised when he refuses. Sometimes he would lie in the bed with eyes open thinking. Whenever I woke up to see him awake I'll asked him what the matter was he will tell me nothing happened he just don't feel sleepy. I feel guilty. If not for the sake of my daughter I would have asked for divorce so I can stay out of his life and let him have a new life.

To be honest, it sounds like your husband is wrestling with an immense amount of guilt and does not believe you can forgive him which is not helping you. Leaving just might make it worse, before thinking of leaving, since you guys still talk, then talk about the incident, clear the air and let him know this was not his fault or your fault for that matter. Forgive him (I don't say this because I think he is at fault or that you are holding this over his head but because sometimes people need forgiveness so they can move forward) it might just be what he needs to know so you can reclaim your family

Timbuktou:
You will be shocked when your sons become men, how they will act; like men. You women should stop with this foolish statement already. You think the man doesn't feel like a failure? You do not know the first thing about male psychology. Shut up.

You are absolutely right. This man somewhere feels like a failure, undeserving of his wife. We have this expectation of men and forget that they have feelings too. This couple were raped, not just the woman. The man was raped in the most unimaginable way and that does something to your psyche that's not so easy to fix

GSKing:
How you guys assume the rape victim is strong and okay enough to have "a talk" with her husband is baffling. Like it's absolutely nothing and it takes nothing to get over the rape and move on! The husband is the one who needs to be strengthening and encouraging her after the incident. She needs love even though she's acting strong and in need of affection.

They both need counselling from an unbiased professional especially that uneducated and uninformed husband of hers.

He is traumatized? How dare everyone make this about the man?

How old are these commenters above anyways?

Yes he is traumatized. He more than likely feels that he is/was a failure because he was unable to protect his wife. May feel he does not deserve her. It is about both of them. In this instance all info points to the man still dealing very poorly with this trauma.

5minsmadness:
That's Western bullsh1t thinking(no offence meant) . The father should ejacu.late in front of the child to show how the sperm comes out and fertilizes mummy so she won't be curious anymore.

Please be realistic, you don't put your kids fingers in fire to teach them fire can hurt them or cut their hands off to show that a sharp knife can hurt them. You teach them the usefulness of these things while teaching them of its dangers

Acidosis:
They will make every attempt to check the pants of the opposite se.x for proper verification. Satisfy their curiosity on paper, and they will satisfy it further physically, in your absence.

You don't have to give a child alcohol before you explain the impacts on human health.

Kids are naturally curious and withholding information makes them even more curious. Better to teach them, tailor the information to their age than to pretend that kids magically appear in mummy's tummy

iamNotAlone:
Hi room...pls how do you handle an aggressive spouse, break up is out of it because the rltnshp will soon be sealed
I have searched the google but can't find anything. Pls does any one know how to handle or deal with an aggressive spouse, since that's the only thing I am uncomfortable with about him

Just to clarify, you are not married to him, he is aggressive enough to cause concern and yet you categorically rule out breaking up for his and your safety. I don't know what else can be said at this point.

ariesbull:
Can u respect yourself ....do you have a problem


He has never failed as a businessman

Who will give u such a money ...I think orji should just buy osun and ondo states

Seriously, have we forgotten slok airline. Do you know how many people this man owes and has refused to pay? Relocated people to a different country and refused to pay what he owes.

kenkenny55:
Well its a pity sha. Buh let's not forget this in a hurry. Am against men beating their wifes or whatsoever..... Another thing is this... Does this girl in question don't know this man when she got to the altar nd uttered for better for worse.. I just presume she might ran after riches and glory. Nd she ended up not knowing that the rich man she is getting married to is an addict.....this goes out to other woman... You don't just run abt going after rich guys.... U can hustle with the present guys nd by the grace of God he marries you nd live happily.... When there were enjoying their early marriage it was posted on a social media. Nw she is going to hell...... Madam if you had dated this man. And try to know him very well u woundlt have married him..or I would just say. U saw richness nd never cared who he is afterwords. Marriage is for better and for worse I believe she sworn that.... Buh all the same sorry

And even if all these were true, does it make it ok for him to abuse her?

Onyiridike:
Please do not generalize. When I was 18, I already knew exactly what I want in a man because my mother started grooming me since I became 11.

How do 18-year old girls choose their boyfriends?

I have seen 30-year old girl who is NOT certain of the type of man she wants.

Decision making is always influenced by circumstances.

In Nigeria, every citizen who is 18 is already an adult. He/she can vote and be voted for. However, in marriage, everybody regardless of age needs the consent of his/her parents unless you choose court wedding.

You made a general and sweeping statement yet turn around to say do not generalise. When you go to the registry in Nigeria and you are younger than 21, you need parental consent to marry. Unless that has changed in the last 15 years. You don't need parental consent if you are above 21 for marriage in Nigeria and bear in mind I say legally, not customary marriage

Onyiridike:
Any lady who doesn't know what she want at 18 will still be confused at 40.

Mind you that some girls are already in 200 level or even 300 level in the university @18.

Therefore, choice making is not a function of age. Circustances and preferences determine our choices.

Very wrong, how can an 18 year old be definite on what she wants when adults change their minds. To your question, yes an eighteen year old can marry. Should an 18 year old marry is a whole different question and there is no black or white here. It depends on her and her partner and her parents because as far as I know legally in Nigeria an 18 year old needs parental consent to marry unless it has changed.

Mayflowa:
Agreed the men are somewhat lazy and greedy as they could run nursing program by themselves but remember they have to work. However, they always always pay for their wives education. In fact they bring these women from the village to set her on this track hoping to enjoy the huge salary together/ This is never to be! why? Women find it difficult to manage success more so, harder with greedy man flocking around you

The percentage of those who pay out of pocket for their education is very slim. People borrow, if not from banks then from family or friends. Assuming that the partner is d one paying for their tuition is some lie that has been repeated so often it sounds like the truth but it is a lie nevertheless.

EndowedBae:
cousin is a genderless word. for clarity sake, i decided to bring in sister. ok, english teacher

Sorry oh English learner, do you feel better now?

EndowedBae:
It was Friday morning, the whole family members were preparing for the burial of my late uncle who was, before his sudden demise, the president general of the kingdom. He was also a high chief.

The previous day for me was stressful so I couldn't wake up early enough to meet with all the people who came from afar among whom, my cousin sister who was the only relation, as the whole neighborhood were also getting ready to head for the village for the burial proper.

I went straight to the barthroom trying to take a shower. Immediately, something caught my attention from outside the window in the next neighborhood.
What i saw, I would say, was a perfect description of what I prayed for everyday of my life, what God should give to me as a wife, irrespective of background, past life, story or character (which is the first thing mother always tells us to find in a woman) cause I was ready to go against all odds.
From that moment, my sex drive was turned on without reservation like never before as the animal in me got instant activation like MTN fastlink. It became very hard to turn my attention away from her, just kept wishing if I could fly out the window like superman and go do the needful, before she disappears like I lost a part of me.
Everything about her captured my whole life into a small bottle of orijin in a vest loaded with bombs prepared for suicide mission in maiduguri. Lol...

I watched and watched her until I got drunk in love, but like a butterfly heading for the fries, i made a concrete conclusion that nothing was going to stand in my way as long as I still breathe..
From that day onward, I started preparing for the big catch of my life when I finally got to ask about her and was told she is actually my cousin sister and the only relation among everybody who came from afar.


Ooo boy, the aftermath isn't funny at all, cos anytime I see her, mehn, I can't explain what i always feel inside even up till now.

Gat too many questions to ask nature now.

Comments?: bring'em on :oon

What on earth is "cousin sister"

tallfish145:
I wonder when having discussion with a friend of mine about our homes,it came to a stage when he told me that most times his wife used to walk around the room putting on t-shirt and a pant and even half naked in the presence of their children. Is this normal or condemnable?

We dat go about in our birthday suit nko?

Koolking:
The rate of laziness by Nigerians is alarming. Most Nigerian girls are sheer lazy. It's only on social media people claimed what they aren't. Nigerians are despicable set of people. Always claim living the life of prince and princesses who live in castles with all the privileges of life in their becks and calls.

How could Africans (Nigerians) lashed mercilessly at the op for expressing his discomfort at his wife's tradition of waking up by 6am? Nigeria is not Telemundo

Even if the Op wife is a full time housewife (she does not work or own her business), a sensible and responsible wife who knows the husband wakes up by 4-5am to leave for work, should also wake up with the husband to assist him leave early. When the hubby leaves, she can go back to her sleep and wakes up as it pleases her.

She can assist in warming up his bath water, make tea/prepare breakfast if the hubby is the type who eats early. How about the kids? Preparing them for school?

If you can't make simple sacrifices to keep your home, then you are not married. You should stay single and do as it pleases you.

Majority opinions of NLers on this thread reek of juvenility, irresponsibility and fecklessness. Opinions like these here makes me believe marriage is a scam.

Op, your wife is just IRRESPONSIBLE.

Lwkmd! Una no go kill person. Na stepford wife she be?

vybzkartel:
She wakes up at 6am

sometimes after 6 am

and i believe a virtuous wife should be waking up earlier

I am often up by 4am or 5 am

She wakes up late and doesnt pray

I have been diplomatic, harsh and all...but she hasnt changed. what do i do?

I can't deal, just can't. Where do you guys appear from? 6 am is too late for her to wake up. Hmm, you conveniently avoid saying what her day is like and when she goes to bed but you say she is not a virtuous woman. SMH!!!!

EroticAngelina:
Fact is u behave more lyk a stoopid bitchh than I do.

You are the perfect example of the woman in the story.

If u want to fvck ur lover, pls go ahead, buh have a little courtesy, and do it outside, cos its disrespectful to do that in ur late husband's house.
His son(ur stepson) is not comfortable with it for Pete's sake!!
bitchh, dat alone should make u think abt ur decision.
u claim Dats ur house too.. in case u didn't know, Dats his house too, in fact its more of his house than urs, cos he is ur husband's son. ur gonna die, he's gonna own dat house.
Even tho I blame the guy for killing him, half of the blame goes to the woman, cos if she had listened and taken her affair out of the house due to the son's feeling of having another man in his father's house, he wouldn't have killed the man, he wouldn't have to spend his youth days in jail.
if she doesn't fvck in dat house, will she die

and a slowpoke is asking me why the woman shouldn't have sex in her house

u should be ashamed of urself cos u are just showing people wat ur gonna do if ur in that woman's shoes.

I just can't. Words fail me.

I actually don't have a topic for this, and I am using this simply as an outlet because I fear I am losing my mind. How do you hold on when you feel like you are losing the battle for your child's life?
How do I hold on when I can see all the signs that it is not working. After putting this little girl through a gruelling treatment, I can see it failing. She is holding on, she is fighting but for how much longer. I would take this pain a million times over for my little girl. Will her sisters sacrifice be for nought? She donated to her sister in the hope that it would make a difference but I just can't see it now. I have cried for so long I have no more tears. I am depressed, I should be strong but she is my strength. I am weak and she is strong. The thought that she may not make it kills me. I can survive a lot but I don't think I could make it through that. 4 years of her life we have fought. All I want is for her to catch a break, to have a normal life, to be free of pain. Is that too much to ask?
There are brief moments when her laughter fills the air and that sound brings joy to all of us but these moments are so far and few. My other rock reminds me there is hope, things may turn around, but today I am consumed by fear, I am frozen. I know we should think of end-of life plans just in case but how can I for a seven year old with so much promise? Why should it be so hard? Where is that magic wand to wave over her and have all these bad stuff go away? If wishes were horses beggars would ride and right now I am a beggar, begging Jehovah to give me a miracle. Everything humanly possible I am doing, I just need a miracle.

Onegai:
Me, married ke?? what do I know of marriage, there's one man whom I carry his lastname and one child that calls me mummy. It's not like I've even spent almost 4 decades on this earth sef. But you're right, all i know of marriage is Telemundo, a channel i have never watched. Infact, what is this marriage thing you speak of?

Laff is killing me here oh. Perfect response to foolishness. #Telemundomarriage. Didn't know there was such a thing

Destined2win:
Why would the boy steal #5000?

I do not condone maltreatment but again, I see no wrong in punishing a child for doing wrong if that is going to change him.

This is not punishment. It's abuse. Let's call it what it is

raumdeuter:
Some people are just selfish

The elder sister gave birth willingly to kids without taking permission from the younger one, The elder sis is progressing with her career yet she wants a free sit at home nanny for her own benefit

I know someone like this in the US. she is now 38/39 (born 1978) she spent over 10yrs baby sitting her sisters kids in New York while he life was rotting away. I first thought she no get papers but actually she was born in the US taken to Nigeria in the early 80's until the sister sent for her back in 2000 as a 22yr old to help with baby sitting.

From 2000 till 2012 did nothing except sitting at home or just be a domestic assistant.

It was until facebook became common and she was able to hook up online with some of her friends who also relocated to the US that she woke up. She had no money of her own No certification aside OND from Nigeria

She left New york without saying farewell to her sister changed her phone number and relocated to another stat where She just started CNA/LPN in 2014

Back to the OP. If the younger sister has been in the US, she should tell her sister she spoke to one friend who would help her with a job and move out. Move out go stay on her own and start living


The baby sitting is what she would do till her life rots away

Anyone who has a kid and has no plan on how to care for the kid should give the child up for adoption

That is just wrong. She needs to move out. There is no two ways about it. Sometimes you have to force things to happen. Move out now. It will be rough but she will figure it out

Lizypumping:
Her saving was depleted in staying with her, she pays off all other bills asides rent. No job... if u don't work on your savings it will vanish

Then she needs to reach out to other community resources. Is her situation unfair, absolutely but that is life. She needs to do something drastic to get herself together. She cannot depend on her sister, she is unhappy with the status quo. something took her from where she was to her sisters place so life has been rough. She can either be patient or dive in and swim.

Lizypumping:
Neither of these is applicable to my friend. She has been in US FOR 8 years she just needed to start over at her sister. She has her car and even sometimes her sister uses her car for dropping off kids

Being in the US that long, the one thing you learn is pay your way if you want independence. Let her get her own place with her savings and find her way from there. This I know, there are two sides to a story. Heard too many of these kind of stories and when you hear the other side it does not match.

mnairaland:
First, I wasn't talking about you specifically. I was just explaining how things often work there in the hope that I may end up answering your question.
Second, I had no intention to imply that any document was forged. Those third party people do not produce fake documents. Al least to the best of my knowledge. They only somehow help you to do what you could have done yourself since they got you to pay more.

I remember stating in an old post that they could accept a marriage certificate in lieu of a letter of identification.But since you still asked a question in spite of that my statement, I attempted to come out with other possible reasons for asking for just a marriage certificate.

I hope you noticed that I stated that i did not understand your question, because somehow it seemed to me my post had addressed the issue.

To make thing clearer, the reason I quoted you in the first place was to explain to you why they could accept only a marriage certificate from you. You were wondering why they only accepted a marriage certificate from you and I stated in my post that they objective was to properly identify you and that they could choose to accept a marriage certificate from you in place of a letter of identification although it wa not standard. I was of the opinion that my post would have put an end to your wondering so I was at loss as to why you were asking a question again. In a bid to answer you question and put an end to the wondering I tried to be more descriptive.

This is the summary:
It is officially required that you provide a letter of identification from your LGA of origin/residence. They can decide to accept another document in lieu of it if they deem it equivalent.

Having, said all that, I think you somehow misunderstood my last post.

MODIFIED:
I read through my last post again and saw this:

What I am trying to communicate is this: in your own case, if you paid them, or any of their 'runs agent' an unofficial amount for the passport. They will demand only the documents that must necessarily come from you and help you get the rest.

Ok. I actually directly referred to you there. Not with standing, the gist of the foregoing explanation remain valid.

Clarification accepted. No hard feelings. Gist gotten, and pretty much thought the same thing also.

malawi14:
Am realy so angry and depressed,pls nairaland pls and pls I need advice.first is the lady I want to marry is from abia state,olokoro ita-ja,d parents r problems on their own,a family that insist I have to buy a land before I marry their daughter,that aside,her aunty who is the dads junior sis talks anyhow,there is nothing that hapens in my fiances house that the father won't tell d sister,if de mess the father will call d sister married to another family nd stat spilling all dat is goin on in his house,d mother is like a vegetable in her own husband house,she can't talk and defend her daughter,cos she as no male son,am so so so tired wit everytin hapening around this lady,cos I love her so much,pls she is here wit me pls advise her and me what to do.tnx

This is a classic case of buying market. Your call if your love for her is worth this and the other stress that will come from this family in the future. You should think about it seriously and talk with her. She, i mean your fiancée needs to toughen up and stand up to her family. I don't think it is your place to stand up to them. That is her job. If she can't do that now, married life will be tough and eventually resentment will grow