₦airaland Forum

mnairaland:
To be honest, I don't understand your question.

I also quoted the person you quoted. Perhaps you should read my response to her quote.

Because I don't understand you question, I will reiterate what I said but in other words.

Most people who apply for passport in Nigeria do not pay the official amount. The official amount is usually way, way lower that the amount people because the want their passport to be quickly issued( This is actually a form of queue jumping).

Because, they have paid or have been made to pay more that the required amount, the immigration officer (or person doing the processing), goes as far as helping the 'client' to get all required documents that doesn't have to compulsorily come from her.

For instance, if she doesn't have a birth certificate, they will help her get an age declaration; if she doesn't have an identification letter, they will help her get one.The unofficial amount she paid covers the cost of these unofficial services done for her by them.

They , however, cannot help her get a marriage certificate and such similar documents which must necessarily come from her.

What I am trying to communicate is this: in your own case, if you paid them, or any of their 'runs agent' an unofficial amount for the passport. They will demand only the documents that must necessarily come from you and help you get the rest.

mnairaland:
If u did not pay the official cost of applying for a passport then the additional money u paid covers the cost of helping u get all required additional dicuments.

It is a standard requirement that u present a lettet identificatn frm ur LGA
of origin/ residence.

However since the purpose for asking that is to prioduce proof that you are the true bearer of dt name they can choose to accept a marriage certufucate in lieu of it thought it is not standard.The idea is to properly identify you.

darkenedrebel:
Why?..Is she a slave?, and won't that be depriving the progenies the diversity marriage is supposed to offer?..

Father(Ibo) + mother(Yoruba) = offspring(Ibo & Yoruba)

•If the woman changes her state of origin, then the child loses that right.

So if a Nigerian man marries a Caucasian from St.Louis, she's expected to denounce her state of origin?

Come on...

cococandy:
That's why I said I think it might be a thing of the official's personal opinion.
I didn't generalize.

ausboo:
He said he doesn't love his wife from the begining of their marriage. and even if he won't be with me, he will still divorce her. His mind is made up on divorcing her because he told me even his mother who single handly raised him can't force him to remain in his marriage. I just want to hang around incase he eventually divorces her but I don't want the divorce to be because of me

Kachisbarbie:
I am surprised it has gotten to the point of tagging my question daft. Everyday I give women KYC forms, once they get to State of Origin_ some would pause and ask me "my own or husbands own?". Some would authoritatively write their husband's own, till I notice the discrepancy with their IDs.

Abi is it an eastern thing? Because it's common here in the East o

cococandy:
I really don't know.
But I remember when I wanted to get intl passport a while ago and they asked me for letter of identification from my LGA, I gave them the one I had but they were saying I needed one from my hubby's LGA since I'm now married in a different state. I was Like 'for real'!

I certainly didn't know where his LGA headquarters is. much less traveling there to look for letter of identification.
I think I paid them some money and they did some abracadabra and my passport was ready.

I was already hot, tired and getting frustrated from much activity that day. So I didn't really care if they were saying it to fleece me of some money or if I was legally required to adopt a new place of identification as soon as I got married.

But you're right people do expect women to change everything about them when they get married. So don't mind those yabbing your thread as if what you're saying is a lie or doesn't happen.

sickstars:
Wat did i do

All am sayin is she sleeping on d bed is but for a while

Wen puberty fully sets in she hersef wud b hiding from her dad

Am an educationist i av learnt nd studied and done research on children early childhood all d stages in a child's life nd d psychological effects

I kno wat am saying professionally

sickstars:
By the way u wana compare ur sef at age 14 living under d same roof with ur parents

To a 14 yr old girl who is givin limited time to stay with her parents

op av d fear of God at heart fear God!

HungerBAD:
I gave my advice purely on the Nigerian Societal Context.

In the Diaspora,don't think it matters(at least in my adopted country )

Seun:
Here's a more serious question: what's a woman's birthday and gender after marriage? A wife should adopt her husband's birthday and gender.

cococandy:
Get him a personal man servant or two.
One will always follow him around to catch his flying socks and pants whenever he's about to dump them on the floor, hand him his belt and tie when he's dressing. Better still even dress or maybe scrub his body when he's taking a bath.
The other will wait on him while he's eating and do miscellaneous stuff like pick his teeth or clear the table for him etc. of course all paid for by him since he's a mighty provider. Rolls eye.

After enabling him to be lazy you're here asking what to do.
The same way you refused to add washing cars to your duties is the same way you can refuse adding his dress up routine to your early morning hustle while you're taking care of the kids. It's not rocket science.

bloodyBLOGGER:
Ladies, If the guy you so much love and cherish becomes this broke, will you still love him and continue the relationship by visiting him regularly?

Onegai:
cococandy nd byvan03 some MiLs will make you regret getting married where were you when last week someone said her MiL told everyone she was rude and refused to visit because she stopped the MiL from using engine oil to rub the baby's navel during omugwo?

tearoses:
The issue with most partys is food and if you can have that covered then you are good to go

seriously if you don't do anything, just make sure that you have several trusted people in charge of food

even if you hire 1 million naira caterers they can still mess up and make you look as if you didn't spend a penny on food
one of my auntys after paying one of these efizzy caterers to cook and serve 300 plates of food, halfway through the event she was told "food don finish"
My aunty left the high table to go and speak to the caterer. The caterer was even packing up at this point.
caterer said "madam we have served 300 people"
my aunty said show me 300 dirty plates
They could only produce 170
No one told the caterer before she started offloading coolers from her van
Thats how they spoil peoples party's

segunonari:
The other day I put a photo of my 5-year-old daughter holding a friend’s baby on Facebook. I tagged the baby’s parents and waited for the likes to roll in on an adorable shot of my clearly smitten kid with their gorgeous new baby.

Then I noticed that the mom Jill* had untagged herself — and I thought, Huh, that’s odd. I messaged her asking if she didn’t like the picture and told her that I would take it down if she wanted (not at all expecting that would actually be the case). Jill replied saying that she didn’t want her son having a “social media identity” and asked me to kindly take it down.

I duly did, of course. But I was kind of shocked and, to be completely honest, a little bit offended. What did this say about me as a parent as I frequently put up photos of my own children? I do so mainly because all of our relatives live far away from us in Australia and Ireland, so it’s just an easy way for us to show them all how our kids are doing.

I am careful that I never photograph my kids in the bath or in any way undressed — they’re always just cute photos of them enjoying parties, days out, and various adventures. My privacy settings are at maximum security so only my friends can see my photos and I’ve never been asked to take down a photo before.

The more I thought about it, the more confused I became … because unless the child was one belonging to a celebrity, what’s the harm?

READ MORE> http://www.gloo.ng/busyhomemaker/248-2/

YourCoffin:
If it's in the same room that the baby sleeps, it's very bad o

The baby has an acute sense of smell and might get used to the smell of your sperm which might lead her chasing after sperms when she grows up.

You will know I'm right when the baby starts to ignore the mother's breast even when she shoves it into her mouth

lastpage:
Apart from what have been said, it is wrong!

It is Hormones that makes a woman lactate.
When you start having sex with her while breast-feeding, her body chemistry changes (natures way of regulating pregnancy) to that of a mother that is not breast-feeding.
The new hormone combination is POISONOUS to the baby, who gets it through the breast milk.

Just watch as that baby develops illness and looses weight rapidly.

I am speaking from experience and seen it on others so many times

Rolling on the floor, laughing out loud.



Lastpage!

BridalAssistant:
I thank you all for your contributions.

First off, i'd like to say that a wedding isn't ever some thing whose expenses are borne by one party. It's a joint affair between the bride and her groom as well as their parents/families. Save for a few exceptions, this is the norm. There are folks who might argue to the contrary, but I personally have never worked on a wedding project where all the funds are coming from just one source. In light of that, one can see how the budget can be spread amongst the celebrating parties.

Second off, please bear in mind that this is a budget for 350 guests. I've read comments about spending 15k or 20k or 100k. You want to spend 15k in entertaining 350 guests? You want to give them cabin biscuits and pure water?Even "Mama Put" won't accept 15k to feed 300 guests. And that's even just food alone. The Budget which I have given includes a wide range of services which many consider essential to the event.

I am going to go out on a limb here and state that many of the people who baulk at this budget aren't married or even planning a wedding. And if they ARE married, it wasn't in the span of the last 3years.

As has been rightly said, one has the option to cut one's coat according to one's cloth. An intending couple who feels that the prices are to high can opt to shave off some services which I have listed. Small chops aren't compulsory to serve at your wedding, nor are cocktails. You don't have to have a D.J; just play music from your laptop or by a mix tape and have one of your friends man the music. A standard photographer isn't necessary in this age where there are many photo apps to pick and choose from. Have all your guests play ad hoc photographer and send the pictures they've taken to you. Make up is another item that can easily be deleted from the list. Someone stated using your sisters and their friends as ushers to attend to guests as opposed to hiring professionals who know their onions, so you have ushers struck off the list. Ditto for coordinators. Also, who needs an MC? They programme will clearly state what items are on the agenda, so everyone knows what's happening at every point in time at the wedding. As for feeding, if you can introduce me to a "Mama Put" who will feed your 350 guests with 15k, and also provide services such as table settings and such, I'd like to work with them in the nearest future. The cake? Sister Mary in church can bake that for free. But you can't hold Sister Mary accountable for any mishaps, cos she's doing you a favour and you should actually be grateful to her that she even deigned to grace your wedding with her half-baked contraption. The bridal bouquet and accessories are entirely unnecessary. After all, I'm old enough to have lived at a time when you could easily go over to the neighbours compound and cut branches of bougainvillea and assemble into some semblance of a bouquet. Ditto on the decor. Just have the kids in your compound blow up some balloons and tie them haphazardly all around the school hall. And there! You have your 50k wedding! There are always "cheaper" options for people who want to get angsty about costs.

Having said, I'd like for us to bear in mind that the quotes I have given aren't arbitrary; I have liaised with vendors whose integrity has been unquestioned in my experience in working with them on past projects and they have been gracious as to agree to my request for bargain prices. The standard cost for all those items on that list would ordinarily be in the neighbourhood of 1.2 - 1.5m given the current state of the economy.
These people also have operation costs to cover.

Also, please bear in mind that as with standard economics, a wedding has fixed costs and variable costs. Certain items will have their costs align with the number of guests you're looking to host. Things like coordination, food and drinks and decor. While others are fixed irregardless of how many guests you're hosting; photography, D.J, M.C, Makeup, Outfits, etc. Therefore you can host the number of guests that you feel you can afford, taking this into consideration. 500, 400, 300, 100 or 50. It's all up to you.
Those who want to challenge the veracity of these claims, and who feel they've got better options which guarantee the BEST value for money, are free to present their own quotes. But many who've actually planned or held a wedding with standard services in a city such as Lagos will testify to the things that have been stated.

Thank you all for your audience.
To find out more about how we can help bring your wedding plans to fruition, please email us at aprilconcierge.ng@gmail.com

Daslim180:
When men wanna bullshit talk women and hurt them and treat them like shit ! Look at this picture ! She risk her life to give u something precious, she gains weight & her skin stretches & then u gonna disrespect her and treat her like shit Do u even know the pain a woman feels after having a c section ? Can't walk properly for weeks and can't do shit for her self ! This is is for every man who treats his woman like crap and treats her like nothing ! Grow up and take care of your family and stop running around ! Your wife and children is your first priority in your life !

Yomieluv:
Le t me summarise it.

Went to visit my mum with my wife.didn't meet her at home,because she went to a party nearby.

My wife and i went to meet her there.while i carried my wife's bag.while she carried her small bag,and the gift she bought for her.

Was in office today when mum called me specifically to tell me never to see me again carrying my wife's bag. That it makes me less of a man. She was in the midst of her friends at the party.

I just cut the call,and i have been brooding over that since.

Is she right?

BridalAssistant:
Well said, ma'am. An ideal wedding with standard services in Lagos will be in the N3m range. Some even cost more.

However, with the partnership we've got with various vendors who are willing to provide outstanding service at reduced costs, we've been able to put together this offer.

We assure all our clients of highly professional services for the price we're offering. No "zobo" weddings here. Lol.

ViNeHaNds:
Hi nairalanders, i just finished my final exams early december, hence a graduate of biochemistry in one of the countries federal universities in the southeast, as i type this post, its with much pain and depression, i came over to one of my youngest aunts place who have been the backbone of my education, if not for her, would have forfeited the admission, since i lost my mum and dad, since my dad died about 6year ago, my aunt took me up and supported me when others said they cant afford entra expenses on a nephew, today i am practically a house boy in her house, she has allowed the devils to pollute her mind, isnt she suppose to be happy i am finally done with school but her actions tells otherwise, every time i raise a topic on my school matters, i get the bashing of my life, at an instance i wanted walking out of her house when she mentioned that i go get money from my dead father, i lost consciousness but i was somehow still standing on my feets, i barely can sleep recently, whats wrong with her, for Godsake has she forgotten her promises, i am owing the school a lot of money, my project has suffered, no funds, by now i am suppose to be back in school in that effect, my mates are far gone on theirs, while i am in my aunts house washing heaps of clothes, cleaning floors and all sort of chores and errands . I have been thinking much, i need advice please. I have prayed for God to change her for my sake, no noticeable change, she is not bothered at all. Should i just forget about her helping me and take sometime off school and get a job, raise funds and come back later to do my project and pay my outstanding fees, , , mature advice please. Thanks for reading.

Sagamite:
When I want to buy Mrs Shagamus flowers, I would buy her Ewedu or Efo versions.

At least, those are flowers she can use in the Kitchen and we can eat. Not waste of my money.

Some yeye people would even be reading this, laughing at me and saying those are leaves, not flowers.

Na una know. Same noni to me.

cococandy:
Well the OP is obviously looking for who to annoy so don't let it be you.
though there are still foolish people everywhere, I don't think there are those who are still foolish enough demand to be served food while being knelt down to. Not even from their housemaids let alone wives.
Nor do we have wives who have nothing better better to do than kneel down to serve food breakfast lunch and dinner. Odiegwu.
What you see here is his imagination waking up from sleep after a long while being dormant.
Read the bolded.

I can tell you he doesn't even have a girlfriend much less one that kneels down to serve him food and apologizes immediately if she forgets.

crackhaus:
Sex is different for women, or isn't that what you people say?
That you can't have sex with anyone you're not emotionally attached to...not like I believe that line anyway, but that's the defence y'all put up before you eventually open them legs up

So why should a man forgive his wife when she obviously has strong emotional feelings for the man she had sex with?
Unless she's a professional slvt who sees sex as nothing but just sex, then she will be forgiven.

johnson232:
What has ever been our business on this forum if I may ask, that we can't resolve within the family and associates unit?

U simply don't support a woman serving her hubby on her kneels without reservations...

Why not disclose your reservations, instead of hiding behind the mind your business wall, while u subtly portray your points...

Because u know most of the issues u have commented on has never been your business..

cococandy:
This one is just making up his own stories for attention.

johnson232:
When normality becomes abnormal, it becomes everyone business...

Stop using "mind your business" as smokescreen...

All the issues that has been discussed on this forum since inception has never been any one's business..

Has all the issues u have commented on any of your business?
Why the sudden mind your business on this one?

So even if the uncle is killing his wife he should also mind his business, right?

The young man saw something unusual from his own perspective, the least u should do is to make constructive input, cause u and I know that all the issues that has discussed on this forum has never been our business...

So why the mind your business thing...
This is a public forum, designed for issues of all sorts...

johnson232:
Why are woman all over this thread....

Are they all scared of kneeling down....

It's simply a sign of respect, not slavery...
My wife derives joy in doing it....
Don't know why those here are grumbling....

Cutehector:
so u want dem to be like, oh my daughter congratulations for being pregnant.. pls continue to do well to sleep wit evry boy in d village.. let us celebrate the good news.

CFCman:
He's right. Here in San Diego county, the average price of a haircut is $8 for adults. Some places in my city even charge up to $12.
A 35-pack of bottled water is over $5! A loaf of bread goes for $4, car wash goes for nothing less than $10 (if it's hand-washed); but the average price of gas is around $2.70/gallon.