₦airaland Forum

Serving her meals with salt would increase her blood pressure, make her retain fluids. The amount of salt required for poisoning cannot be in the food since you all ate the same food. It would be inedible. Something else is wrong with mama. Free your wife and ask the doctor to explain better.

Theonlysonofher:
While others are celebrating the new year today I am here sobbing because my marriage is at the verge of breaking.

I loved my wife with all my heart but I don't think I will ever forgive her for what she has done to my mother.

I am the only child of my mother. I have three sisters on my father's side.
I am married with two beautiful daughters. my mother suffered from diabetes, bp and high cholesterol. She is on a special diets strictly no salt or too much sugar.

She came to stay with me because the person who was taking care of her wasn't doing her job properly so I had to bring her to my house so I will be monitoring her health.

I have a house help who prepares all her meals with less salt and she also makes sure she takes her medicines on time without fail.
Everything was fine, my mother is not a troublesome person, she gets on well with my wife and most of the time she is in her room resting.

On the 20th of December my house help had traveled to the village to see her people and she will be back in January 4th so my wife and I have to take care of my mother making sure that her foods is less salty and medicines on time.

Since I am always working so my wife had to take most of the responsibility. It is only for a week and fews days until the house help is back.

She had agreed to take care of my mother during this periods of time and I thought everything was fine but I noticed my mother become distant and tired unlike her and I had no idea that she was actually dying and I have never suspected that my wife was maltreating her.

So Thursday being 30th December I was at work when my wife called and asked me to join her at the hospital because mama had a seizure.

I rushed to the hospital and my mother was in a coma state and I asked her what happened to mama, she said mama woke up that morning complaining about shortage of breath and she told her to go back to bed and rest hoping she will be fine by the time she will wake up.
Only for mama to fall off the ground and started shaking with foam coming out of her mouth.

I was in panicked I couldn't stop praying for my mother to get better and I didn't leave the hospital, my wife went home to take care of the children because she has left them with the neighbour and I had spend all night prayer vigil at my mother's bedside and glory be to God my mother woke up yesterday being 31st but the doctor report was not a good news for me.

Actually my mother was poisoned with salt and guess who did it? My beloved wife couldn't bothered to cook a different meal for my mother, she used to feed her the same meal we ate knowing full well that mama cannot eat the same foods as us because we are salt lovers, especially my wife, she love eating too much salt which I have warned her over and over again because it is also not good for her health.

I confronted her, she said she only fed mama the same meals we ate twice only but according to the doctor it was more than two times.

I am hurt that my wife doesnt love my mother or treat her like her own mother because if she truly loved her like her own mother she would have put her diet on consideration and not allow her to eat the same meal as us. I love her mother and u treat her like my own mother.

It pains me a lot when I remember five years ago when her mother was in coma state and she was staying with her at the hospital, she is her only daughter amongst three boys.

I used to visit them everyday after work, I will bring foods and I have even washed her mother clothes with my own hands, I have done with love because she is my mother. I called my mother in law this morning and I have informed her about what her daughter has done to my mother and she couldn't stop apologising and she is very disappointed with my wife.

But see how she has repaid me by hurting my own mother.

She has apologised to me and to my mother, I have forgave her but I don't think I can stay with her again because one day if I become sick or bedridden she might treat me the same way.

Honestly speaking I am not even at home with her and the kids, I am at my cousin brother's house since yesterday I left the hospital and my mother is still in the hospital because she needs more treatment and hopefully she will recover by next week.

I don't feel like going home today and I don't know when I'll go home but I will always be there for my girls because they are the best thing that ever happened to me.

What other advice would you give me on this situation? What are your thoughts? Thank you for reading all I love this community.

This has to be the most hilarious thing I have read

Lostchild:
Only the stubborn fools will say, body count does not matter. They ignorantly believes that, the many men or women a person slept with doesn't matter.

I repeat: only ignorant and spiritually blind men believes that, the past is the past, the present and future is all that matters.

I, the Lostchild will tell you that, the future controls the past and the present. Even God Himself declared, it is because of His grace that, there are consequences of sin.

In the spiritual realm, there is nothing like the past.

THE STORY

Yester years ago, I met and fell in love with a damsel. She was one of the most beautiful person I have ever met. She was very lovely, immaterial, peaceful, honest and she has all the natural attraction a man would ever want in a woman.

Due to circumstances, I put our relationship on hold, left and focus on my career, pursuing money for about a year or so.

During the time of my absence, I never knew that, my lover has been introduced and fully engage herself to coded runs, sleeping with many different men for money and fun. I was busy suffering, fighting and trying so hard to make money, but my lover was busy marketing herself, roaming around beer parlours (wine) clubs, ☆☆☆☆☆ hotels, f'vcking different men in the name of money and enjoyment.

They will foolishly say, have fun, enjoy while you are young without thinking about the consequences of their deeds.

After suffering and making money through help from God, I went back and met my lover and she was so happy to see me. Without touching her, I discovered that my lover has been engaging herself in coded prostitution.

Even after my discovery, I met two new acquaintance, and one of them told me how my lover was constantly being picked from bars and f'vcked by random men, and the other one told me he has been banging my lover without giving her a single dime.

I was meeting and seeing this two men for the first time in my life, and this was the message I got from them. The love of my life has now become the f'vck of town.

I was in shocked.

I was angry deep inside me but gave a fake smile to these two young men.

Depression instantly hit me like an earth quake.

I went straight to bed, and roll from one side of the bed to another.

My head wanted to explode

You are a very beautiful person.

I know you as a very decent young woman.

I know you are immaterial person

I was busy pursuing money because I had plans for you and for us.

I asked her, why did you go this far?

What led you into runs?

She told me, a friend of her who is into runs lures her into promiscuity and coded runs.

She told me, she did it because I was not around to protect her financially

She told me, she also thought she would also climb faster in life by meeting successful men through runs

She plainly told me she thought, with her beauty, she would receive love and gift from the men she met, but all they did was to used her for their sexual gratification

It has been sixteen months, I went to make money for us ?

I was heart broken.
I was angry with her

I felt betrayed because I never thought she would take this path

I spaced myself from her.
I gave her nine yards.

For two days, I refused to touch her, and she started crying.

She pleaded with me about forgiveness, and acknowledge that she made a mistake and learn some lesson.

She cried heavily and told me to touch her and make love to her.

I look at her tenderly.
I know her worth and value
I have made a lot money and can take care of her.
I know I missed her a lot.
I know I still love this beautiful young woman.

I saw her cravings for my touch and kisses

I am here for you now, I blurted out to her. Let us put the past aside, focus on the present and look forward to the future.

I held her to myself, kissed her and she moan as I made passionate love (sex) to her.

This was the greatest mistake I vow to never repeat again. I have prayed to God not to meet this error in future.

I got burned.
I saw pepper

I was so full of regret, even up till this day I still feel remorse over my ignorance

I genuinely love her but I wish I never accepted her back.

I wished I never did re-have sex with her.

Immediately I slept with her, what happened to me that very night and month, I will never forget.

The event that happened to me just by sleeping with her just once, I cannot fully explain them.

RUNS: sleeping with too many men, she over polluted herself and became possessed with too many evil demonic spirits.

Spiritually, she was label as a prostitute and I too, automatically became a prostitute because I yoke myself with her and become one body with a prostitute. By accepting her and sleeping with her just only once automatically made us one body and soul.

Her body heavily polluted spirit man.

Her vagina transfered into me infirmities.

Her vagina instantly gave me things that were not in my life before.

The protection and shield of the fire and light of God that surround me, left me.

I instantly became subject and exposed to massive demonic attacks, to the point that I almost died.

The attack was so much that, I started running just to save my life.

The attack became such that, I stop sleeping at night. The enemies tries to kill me in my sleep.

After the sex, I saw some group of evil spirit - came to where I lay down, and put things into my body

I instantly started dreaming- seeing myself - my leg being tied or chain to a mighty concrete slab in a forest.

Physically, I was no longer able to move forward or progress forward.

I started having setback, setback, setback. Whatever I do to move forward only result to financial losses and step back. It was so real.

I started having failures and continuous dissapointment and I was lossing money.

My business instantly collaps and I lost 5 million naira and many more financial doors was closed before my eyes.

After the sex with her, I saw fire. It was T.B. Joshua that God later used to delivered me.

I became free through the prayer of T.B Joshua and prospered again in a slow pace

I had to flee from her, and after about 8 months to our breakup, she came to meet me and still wanted me back.

She told me, she has tasted countless different men, explore many hotels, wine, cars and fun time, but she learnt that they are all nothing but idols.

She saw that, she gain nothing from her lustful worldly pursuit.

She told me she would give up her past mistake, just to be with the one she love.

She told me she wanted to go for church deliverance because she know what was happening to her. I guess she knew, she has over polluted herself and become over possessed with many evil demonic spirit.

I so much love this young beautiful woman, but I had no choice but to run from her just to save my life.

THE REALITY.

When a young woman or girls sleep with too many men, they constantly sin against their body and attract countless sexual demonic spirit to their lives. They become spiritually possessed, polluted and transfer too many infirmities through sex. Even if they got married, their children will inherit their soul and inherit their past sins as swell.

The evil spirits in their life will start working the past sins of the parents into the life of their offspring (children).

If that child refuse to submit to the sins of his or her parents, he or she will face advance attacks and many spiritual problems of life.

The sins of the mother's will expose the child to demonic attack and affliction

FINAL WORDS

Only few wise fellow understand and apply spiritual laws that govern the universe. Many people of today are suffering over the sins and past deeds of their fathers and many keep doing worse than that of their father's.

They will say, let forget the past and focus on the future.

Later, their past deed will start hunting their present and that same future they
cares not about.

fluxmind:
Oh put a cöck in it.

Keep going, do you need money for a cup of coffee. Looks like you need some sort of stimulant

fluxmind:
Shut it.

How smart, that's all you could come up with

fluxmind:
So... A woman is so daft that she doesn't know elementary physics like electrical conductors & insulators? Primary 6 or JSS 2 sef? Physical contact with a metal object... After you go open smelly mouth ask for money to buy Colombian hair, kon wear nonsense dey pose for street... Empty headed dim-witted bîtches. All they do is paint face, wear trash, take selfies & sit online arguing bout petty bullsh!t but common knowledge about electricity ya fuola... Si ebe a puo, people perish for lack of knowledge. Gerrout.

And the empty headed man who thought that his secondary school education on electricity was enough to qualify him as an electrician nko? But why would you find any fault in the stupid man when you can resort to the default setting of blaming the woman.

notoriousbabe:
She go chop weekend preek,see where the thing end. Her surname self were dey fear me

Are you for real

This is wrong, this is mean. She is someone's daughter, mother possibly, aunt, friend. I have no words for our barbarity. SMH

Obviously brutal honesty was one sided

Naija I hail thee oh! An adult turns to mush at the hands of a supposedly hypersexual 4 or 6 year old girl. The same 4 or 6 year old is so "proud" and "arrogant". A child oh, we are supposed to believe that this child is so manipulative, she is putting moves on him but he the adult cannot draw any other persons attention to it, and he is garnering sympathy as he insults mature ones that gave him advice. Kai, Internet dey cause bad thing oh

Chubhie:
To solve this mystery, you will have to understand that the female energy of that child and the adult are sexually attracted on the soul level.perhaps one funny demon experimenting and playing psychic mind games with their energy fields?

On the soul level, it's quite understandable and healthy when two souls unite in pure love. love on this plane is beyond the sexual connotations we give on this earth plane.

Now, the brother having sleepless nights cos of the earthly 5 year old is neither grounded spiritually nor morally disciplined.

The 5 year old neither has the right home trainings and guidance necessary to lead her.

One thing I can guarantee you is that the moment the kid and the adult are mistakenly left unsupervised,the energies will overwhelm them and the news would be all over the internet and the brother would never understand what hit him.

He should continue playing hanky panky with forces leading to his ultimate doom.

Huh

Like others have said, I think you must face the fact that your marriage is coming to an end. She is intent on a divorce. You can't save one who does not want to be saved. Sometimes you also have to call someone on their bullshit for them to come to their senses. I hear your fear but you need to educate yourself on Texas laws as it applies to custody or conservatorship over your kids. Yes there is a preference to have children stay with their mother but the mother still has to meet the requirement. Texas takes into consideration parental conduct during the marriage and how it can affect the kids. So arm yourself. Gather all the information you need, dig for dirt and use it as leverage. You worry about child support, you should not because the courts determine how much you pay monthly. To give you an idea, as long as your income is below the $7500 monthly threshold, you will be expected to pay 30% of your net income after deductions for social security, federal & state taxes, health insurance and union dues. This also ends when the child is eighteen or until high school graduation.
I know not an ideal situation but the home you describe is worse for the kids to grow up in.

obc:
This is height of wickedness. Apparently the little girl is sickle cell patient with enlarged spleen. Only sickle cell patient and someone with sickle cell patient at home as well as health workers can relate with this little girls plight. Exposing this little girl to dust, sun and cold will worsen her state. I leave close to Trade fair and will personally search for this proclaimed NGO, if investigated and found guilty, I wont hesitate to draw attention of appropriate authorities for immediate action.

Please lets continue to share and broadcast this till it gets to appropriate quarters for proper investigations.

God help us.

On the contrary, this looks like ascites:accumulation of fluid in the abdominal cavity and not an enlarged spleen.

Ujoan:
But your FIL is an adult nah . . . did your MIL lead him to where he did the deed? Why does he need her approval to take care of the consequences of his actions

It's easy to blame others for our mistake, your MIL did what she thought was best for her, and your FIL let her because it was what he wanted anyway . . . this is all on him, not her.

Hence the abandonment of his child or children as far as one knows. He did not need permission, just used that as an excuse just like op's brother could have searched 23 years ago once he knew Chioma was pregnant and had a son but chose not to. They both found reason not to. The best thing is not necessarily to bring himself into this young mans life. He needs to consider that doing that may upend that peace or whatever achievement he is so content with right now. It's not just about him. It's about his family also who can end up paying a huge price for his earlier failures.

baby124:
Sorry to say but your father in law has always been a foolish and weak man. Reason why he can have 2 kids outside his marriage and a kid he had outside can break his marriage. I don't blame your MIL for what she did. It may look wicked, but she knew who and what she married which is probably her biggest mistake. Any woman will do anything to preserve her home. Plus as soon as that girl started causing trouble if your FIL had any sense he would have put his foot down and fought to keep his own home. Seems your FIL is a weak man that likes to tell emotional stories and gives excuses which has probably turned your MIL into the witch. Anyone that read your story can tell the man has got some very serious issues.

You think it's cake for your husband to show up and say he has two kids outside during your marriage? What!? You really should be worried about your home if that is the kind of man that raised your husband and your husband is on his side? This is not an insult. I would be. At the end of the day, your MIL was partially right, one of the kids were not his! Obviously this man was fond of following women of very easy virtue. She knew the lazy useless goat she married, who is still in a 1 bedroom. Makes me almost assume she was even the bread winner. Who would have paid for a biological kid that was not her husband's if she didn't take her earlier action.

Did you see any where in my post where I said he was not foolish, weak or that he related all these to me? You make a lot of assumptions but you might want to take a step back to grasp what I am trying to communicate to the op. As for my mil, yes not a piece of cake for your husband to have kids outside however when you consciously maneuver to cut said kids off then it is cruelty. He would have taken care of his kids, they were his responsibility not hers. Depriving them of any contact with their father benefitted her how? Her kids she tried so hard to protect have abandoned both she and her husband, so what did she gain? When after almost thirty years you try to right a wrong, then you sit this girl down to tell her, her mother took advantage of your husband and that's the only she was born, that is beyond cruel. So please, that she was partially right does not exonorate her, she was actually sure the boy was her husbands child and she was not sure of the girl. If there was no guilt why go back after so many years. If she was not cruel, why the guilt? Why the sleepless nights? She spearheaded the whole we must right this wrong that was done. She stuck with a man that could not keep it in his pants hence her cross to bear. You skipped where I said two kids that could be tracked down. I did not talk about the ones for whom she procured abortions for in the name of "they want to spoil my marriage".
By the way, calling him my fil in no way implies he raised my husband. it's a title accorded because he fathered him simple. I refuse to be offended at your not so subtle jab at me "I should be worried about my husband", thanks for your concern but no thanks. I am fine here, been fine with this man I've spent a total of 23 years with. Not everyone is a reflection of their home. I have not had cause to regret my choice and dont expect to.

One more thing, the only person who enjoys regaling anyone who will listen about this sordid story is my mil not fil as you assumed.

EfemenaXY:
Askseek and Onegai, these are really sad stories but I still don't empathise with the run away fathers. They brought it all on themselves. A child is a child irrespective of the circumstances surrounding their birth.

I can but imagine the hate the abandoned kids feel towards their once upon a time "I-don't-care" fathers, having to grow up with the knowledge that they were never wanted. Once that childlike innocence and easy going forgiving spirit is gone, what's left is a deeply hardened heart, be it male or female.

Askseek - that story of yours about the girl child losing her mum at six, and being passed from pillar to post with minimal education from relatives...ah! That sent shivers down my spine.

Consenting adults willing to have sex should learn to put a raincoat on it. How much is effective birth control compared to a lifetime of sorrow generated from easily avoidable mistakes?

People should open their eyes and ears and learn from others' costly mistakes.

I agree, even though this is now my family. I have no sympathy. This is what yoruba's call afowofa. I summarized, to put here the pain caused by the act of abandoning a child will completely derail this thread. It is unforgivable, and sometimes the only good the man and his family can do is to stay away. Bear the guilt, remorse does not give you the right to drag others through such pain or to reopen wounds that have scarred over. Let them be, let them live their life. Not everything is about money or America.

Mindfulness:
So she is too conservative to make love to her husband in a hotel room but she is not conservative enough to spare her mother and children the sounds of her moaning and groaning?

I was wondering too

@ OP, my 2 cents. My father in law did something similar. In his case there were 2 kids he knew of and could still find their homes. He egged on by my mother in law abandoned these kids and relocated to the US. My mil argued that her husband was drunk and did not know what he was doing, and that he women were of loose morals so how could she be sure her husband was truly responsible. She chased them away and relocated her husband to the US. She joined him a few years later and eventually moved all her sons over. When they were finally settled and "doing well" the urge to right this wrong came over both of them and my fil came back to Nigeria. He was able to find both families. One of them her mother died when she was 6, she was passed from one relation to another, minimal education. She saw him, heard those words "I am your father" and packed her bags to go with him. He was overjoyed, if only he knew. From the day she moved in, every form of happiness walked out the door. My mil who perpetrated such a cruel act to keep her husband to herself lost her marriage. A marriage of 40 years collapsed and ended in divorce. Wemimo relocated to the US, DNA testing proved she is his daughter. She now lives with her father in the one bedroom apartment he once shared with his wife. She sleeps in the bedroom, he on the couch. My mil has 6 sons, at this moment only one still talks to his mother. The rest can't forgive her cruelty and have abandoned her. All six sons barely speak to their father. Wemimo I heard from the family grapevine said she would avenge her mother's death as she believes all her mother's suffering and eventual death stem from being abandoned by her lover, she hates my mil because she sees her as the one who forced her husband to abandon her mother.

The second child in question, David grew up in a home. His mother married and the man accepted David. He was in his final year in Unilag when my fil arrived. You can imagine the pain brought into that home. The young man did not acknowledge him, told him he had a father already. My fil dangled the American Dream like a carrot and this young man kicked him out with all the gifts he brought over. After numerous trips by family members he agreed to have a DNA test done since the issue of paternity was still in question. He turned out not to be my fil biological son and he was so happy not to be my fil son.

Sometimes we should let sleeping dogs lie, that little peace your brother has now. He might just use his own hands to destroy it by reopening this. What happened was horrible and inexcusable. He should leave this alone

bigheart2013:
Money is factor, dear. If minimum wage is $10 per hour. 8 hrs job a day is $80, a month multiply by 20days = $1,600, minus tax, insurance premium, IRA, etc you get about $1,100. An average townhouse is the East cost is about $1,400 a month, monthly daycare for kids is on the average of $1000 per child. If you hire a live in Nanny, you will provide her with health insurance benefits and still pay her about $600 a month. You never add utilities like power, gas, water, cable, insurances on cars, parking fees, school loans, car notes, credit cards, feeding, clothing, baby supplies, house supplies, tithe, offering, repairs, police tickets, flowers and chocolates for angry wife etc and still have to worry about getting ur azss divorced if you ever raise your voice to complain out of frustration ...... . America is not what people back home think o. It's a cage. once u enter, to get out na wahala, otherwise many people for don do Hussein Bolt since back to Nigeria.

You won't understand what a couple pass through here! That little bed time may be the only time they ever get to unwind

You are actually conservative in your analysis. Eight years ago I paid $150/week in the city. Had a friend in the suburb who paid $250/week for day care, not nanny. Any nanny accepting $600/month is undocumented or an au pair. A nanny earns about $600 - $800 weekly out here before taxes and someone thinks earning $10/hr can do it.

VolTOxic:
There's alot of mumbo jumbo here.

You've made it almost like a crusade to emphasize how both parents have a time consuming job. If the minimum wage in the US is $10 per hour, I can't seem to fathom why they can't afford to hire a nanny. Or do I have to point out how eager the hubby is ready to pay for a hostel service just for sex. Money can't be a problem.

You really believe someone earning $10/hr can afford a nanny. I can't fit laff. This is the fallacy that confuses everyone at home. First, stop converting the dollar to naira. Second, factor in taxes, at $10/hr you are probably in a tax bracket of 20% even with kids, then there are deductions for Medicare, social security, state and (or) city taxes, health insurance, dental, vision. When all deductions are taken probably left with $5-$6/hr before you start to pay your bills. Meanwhile a nanny could charge as little as $15/hr for one kid if you find a cheap one, and you think someone earning $10/hr can afford a nanny. I laff in Greek at that notion

Yieldings:
It's just appalling that Doctors in Nigeria won't treat patients without being paid first. She needed blood after falling into the pit the first time but she was rejected by 4 hospitals in total, because they didn't have the money for treatment. The Doctor at the last hospital blatantly told her husband to take her home and come back when they have the money for her treatment. This was the same Doctor who told her she needed blood and obviously knowing she was also pregnant. That is just crazy! Why not treat her first?

How exactly do you want the dr to provide the transfusion she needed? He should pay for it out of his pocket? The dr provided some treatment. Pt needed a transfusion, do you think they keep blood in the refrigerator?

keepingmum:
Oh have you being faithful to ur wife at all times? Do you give her love and attention at all times?

How is ur bedmatics skills?

Reality is most times women fake chat with other men out of boredom and/or when their men are cheating and they want to draw his attention to the fact that they are just as desirable to other men.

You guys are already married so forgive and forget and move on if indeed she stepped out of line....you married for better for worse so ....forgive, trust her and show her you are man enough to give her 109 times more than whatever any other man can give her.

See them hyperventilating under my comnent ....
What would Jesus do? Jesus said he thats without sin should cast the first stone.

op, wear a lacy red boxer to bed every night. Shower X2 a day, use roll ons, smell good, hit the gym, make breakfast in bed for wife at least once a week.
Go for long walks with her, spend lots of time cuddling not doing the do oo ....shower her with more love than before and that's the way to win her back

Uh?
This battle of the sexes really must stop. Would you give this advice to your brother, cousin or uncle? If you have nothing to say, why not just move on?

To the OP, retain the evidence and confront her with it, then take it from there. To stay or not is your choice, but you must know what you want

Where to begin?

You married this man without due diligence. You did not know him, I mean really know him prior to marriage, and I know there are some things you can only find out after marriage but if you had taken your time to know him then you would have made an informed decision. Since the deed is done and you have a child now (you were pregnant when you married), your choice is either to work on yourself thereby helping your marriage or get out, don't look back, just leave. It really is your call cos you are the one in the marriage.

onila:
my mother treated me so badly growing up
she was frustrated with the way I used to correct her and the way I act

she hates my father's family because she couldn't handle the way they behave
so when she sees me, I remind her of them

being also a divorced single mother also made her more miserable, my father divorced her bcus of her attitude

I believe a mother shld control herself when it comes to her children no matter the situation
ur children are ur future
be patient and tolerant, so u can benefit from them when u get old
but she didn't even try

Are you off your meds again?

OEmiohe:
Last 2 months I got a job after abt 1 years of unending such for a job. But after I got the job I discovered I was pregnant, unforunately I worked as a P.A, when my boss found out I was pregnant she laid me off giving the excuse that She will not be comfortable sending me on errands again knowing I'm pregnant. I got home hurt but decided to move on.

As an act of respect I give my hubby my salary . But to my surprise after a few weeks I asked my hubby for 100 naira to hold while he was abt leaving to work, he refused to give me saying dat I don,t need money on me since I'm at home and there is enough food in the house for the day. I felt so bad n hurt when my little baby of 9 months was tasty dat same day n when I went to the fridge to get water I noticed that there was no single pure water left, I had to boil ordinary water for her to drink.

Just yesterday my hubby told me he was given a sack letter at work on friday. We are so worried, as we have bills to pay our houserate and so on. I also got a job invite at VI while stay at satellite town . My hubby asked me to go but I don't want to following the Stress of distance and my pregnant status. Pls wat do you think I do. Thanks

Don't go for the interview oh, you know the stress will be too much for you but am sure you can manage the hunger and homelessness that will beset you guys since you are both jobless.

Sometimes the type of questions people pose here baffle me. Grow up, pull your big girl britches up and do what you need to do for the survival of your family and before you and others tell me I don't know how it feels, I do and that is why I know that the stress of working is nothing compared to not being able to provide for your children. One more thing boiling water to drink is not the end of the world. Once upon a time there was no pure water and people did not die

yanshDoctor:
her children is doing driver and conductor with Neighboring kids. one is doing the driver blowing horn and the other is doing conductor shouting there destination. telling other kids to enter with their change.

this is as a result of public transport. does she need to be worried

Children are playing, you are there inferring non existent problem, my daughter sold pure water, carry tray and walk the compound shouting pure water #5, pretended to fry akara at the road side and sell. She's a high honors student today and heading to pre-law. Free the kids jare

nairalife2013:
If u love a man, stand with him all thro, never be d one to call it quits! No matter what!! For God's sake, u are a potential mother and good mothers dont quit. He is going to be yur first son. He is going to hand over his life to u. After God u are going to be d major decider whether he'd live long or die young; whether he have peace at home or writh in chaos and pain. Before he could do the handing over of his life to u, he must have some level of trust. Each man has his own way of finding out the one thing he craves. U d lady cannot fake who u are not when d scrutiny is from a MAN.
From what I see, he seems to love u. He will come back. He may do worst when he comes. This things doesnt have expo, it will be spontaneous either in conversation or action. But, no matter how u try, u will never see it coming, if he is a real man. Just be who u are. Good luck

And you did not choke when you were thinking this, not to talk of typing it. "He is going to be your first son"
Seriously, son not husband oh. So a grown woman will get a son in place of a husband and when his member gets stiff he wants to be husband and in all other matters son. I can't even rationalize that away. God help the young woman and all young women out there if this is the quality of men available, who truly expect to be someone's son not partner.

karbridals:
Goodmorning everyone in the house...so sometimes last year,I met a very honest,gentle, matured and a bit judgmental man online..I grow to love and trust him so much.

Sometimes he just stops calling calling either when I say what I wasn't meant to say or maybe when he says he wants to send something to me..there was a time he stopped calling for 2 weeks,I was the one at fault so I kept calling and messaging him but he never answered. I sent my sister and my male friend to call him but he didn't pick, being that he didn't have their no's.
After 2 weeks,I said hi and he responded,he then told me that he didn't like the many calls and messages, that anytime he is not talking I should just let him be,that when he is fine he will talk to me,that his family knows him for that.


3 months ego,he was meant to send something for me....he promised.... Then he stopped talking to me a day to the day.I called he didn't pick so I let him for some days and called again he didn't pick, sent messages but no response so I left him...all these while I was so worried and angry, I was angry cos the relationship is not all about him,it hurts me when he is not talking to me...I was also worried cos I wanted to be Sure he was fine but I didn't want to repeat what I did the other time by calling all the time which he said he didn't like.Im someone who gives advice to people and it works fine for them so I was wondering what I was doing wrong.


About a month and 2 weeks,he used an accident scene as his dp and wrote... Rip chika, u were a friend and a brother, I will for ever miss u..when I saw this, I became more worried and started calling him again but he didn't pick, I sent a message that he should please pick his call telling him that everything is not about dating or money,that we can still be friends even if he didn't want the relationship any more.some days later he called and told me he had and accident with his best friend and he died..on his on side that he had seizure,can't walk well and so many other things........said he didn't know if he could make it,I praid for him and told him to stop thinking the way he was thinking.

Everyday when I come online and call him,he wouldn't pick and I will drop a message. Sometimes when he picks, he will always say his back was paining him and couldn't talk and I will let him be..the night he told me about the accident, I did a midnight prayer and started putting him in my prayers everyday.

Everyday I will come online and ask him if we could talk and he will say no,he was having pains and I will let him be...at a time I wasn't calling everyday cos he said he was having a lot of pains and couldn't talk then..

One day as we were talking, he told me the accident happened 2 weeks ego and this was a month plus that he stopped talking to me,i became angry but didn't show it.
One day he called and asked if I had moved on,I told him yes that since he left me nau...I said that to know what he would say cos there was really no one...but instead, he started telling me how the accident thing was all a game he decided to play with his friend and that I moved on so easily, he was looking for a special kind of woman... This is after 2months plus that he decided to tell me all these.

He said Im a reserved lady who doesnt sleep around but i didn't call like I was meant to when he stopped talking to me And so many other things he said.. He said he had found someone else and wouldn't be talking to 2 ladies at the same time....I tried telling him why I did all that I did but he wouldn't have any of that.. Since the last time we spoke, I have not been able to reach him again.

This is the only guy that has been able to bring love back into my life after my last failed relationship that almost cost me my life..
I told him from the beginning how soft my heart
Is and I wouldn't be able to take another heart break. So that's why I'm here,maybe I will feel better or responsible for this.

Are you for real, nah you can't seriously be pining for such a small man, I mean boy or toddler. Please move on, move that damn sh!t to gear 10 and forget you ever encountered such a sorry soul. If you spend one more second of your time thinking about him then you need professional help

This is a non issue in my opinion, but This is your opinion, is flawed. You have a very narrowed definition for a man. A man must be defined by more than his ability to provide financially for a grown woman and vice versa for a woman. A relationship is a 2 way street, love and consideration for your partner should move you to participate in your relationship financially, emotionally, physically and any way needed to foster said relationship. Like I said at first though, this is a non issue cos everyone will do what works for them.

mimiy05:
Fam, this is neither fiction or nollywood. This story is very real and it happened recently to a family close to ours.

Its common knowledge that women have a lot of power in the United States as there are laws that protect women there. This man and his family have been living in the U.S for several years and apparently, the wife had been mistreating him and he had to swallow all that because any small thing, the man will obviously be thrown in jail.

So, recently, they(the man and wife) came back to Nigeria, and immediately they landed and got down from the airplane, the man started beating up his wife hurling insults at her and seized her passport saying that he had been taking all her rubbish because he didn't want to go to jail but that this was Nigeria and there was nothing she could do.

People around had to hold the man and calm in down so he didn't end up killing the woman. When he explained why he beat her up, some people took the man's side and asked if they should help him and beat her while others advocated for peace saying it wasn't worth it, she is his wife and he should try and forgive her.

There is some serious peace meeting going on almost on a daily basis as the man is threatening to go back to the states without her. Already, he has already seized her passport. The wife is very remorseful and has promised to change.

My question now is was he right to have embarrassed himself and especially the wife in public? Yes, I can understand his anger but she is his wife no matter what and he should also think of their children.

Balderdash, if this story has an iota of truth then both husband and wife are stupid. The man had options if he was being abused. He chose not to explore them, and the woman, she must have foam for brains to come to Nigeria with a man you have been abusing for years; she comes back home to where he will have the upper hand and not know what her options are that she is either faking the remorse or stupid enough believe that because he took her passport she has no options. Too many holes.

Elegantdiva:
My dear every situation has an expiring date. My family was once like that until we became adults and had to question my dad. My father never paid our SCH fees nor give pocket money. Neither did any of our relatives came to our aid. My mum had to see us through university ,fed us,pay our house rent and still gave out pocket money. funny thing was five of us gaining admission almost the same time. But God saw us through. Now we are adults,we earn monthly comfortably . I can't remember the last time my father raised hand to hit my mum. My dear Hold God firmly . never lose hope. Just like my mum will always say,once married woman is always a married woman especially when you av females as children . They will be looking unto you. Smday ur family situation will change

Am sorry, what exactly are you recommending here cos am a bit confused. You are asking him to hold on, hold on for what, long enough for what exactly. I am confused please clarify

I'll tell you what you can and should do, be selfish think of yourself and your new family and then put yourself first. As you rightly identified, nothing will change until your mother is ready to effect that change. She is caught in a vicious cycle and the only thing you can do now is to save yourself