₦airaland Forum

Odebayo4010:
So this is what you can add to it🙄

Yes dear

Dshocker:
I agree with you on other things, but of the reasons why i really don't like women earning more than their husband; Most women will start disrespecting and rubbing shoulders with their husband.

Second is, what is the point, if a man makes so much money, and the woman also makes so much money, at the end the children are useless?

In most cases, where husband and wives are hustlers, the moral upbringing of the children will be affected.

I still don't agree with the notion that women automatically disrespect their husbands once they earn more unless she's naturally silly or repaying something he did to her in the past.

Not everyone is good with raising kids. Presence or lack of money isn't a determination, ability to raise kids properly is. And where the couple lacks that skill, a granny or governess can be employed to do so on the parent's behalf

Say Redpill mentality, nobody will beat you

kaludestiny10:
Your points are spot on.

A man that cheats on his wife either in her presence or at her back is inhumane to his wife.

A man that can't assist his wife in domestic chores is not a husband.

A man that treats his wife as a trash just because he paid a huge bride price on her head is not good.

A wife can earn more than her husband. But the only problem most time on this particular issue is that most women that earn more income than their husband now see themselves as equal to the husband or even the head of the family which is bad.

There's an infinite supply of stupidity in the universe and the stupidity is adequately represented in both genders.

A woman who acts funny when she begins to earn more than her husband is either stupid or repaying her husband in his own coin.

No right thinking woman who cares about her man will love him less because of money. The problem is that many men are not matured and they get insecure when they see that she earns more, beer parlour gossip doesn't help matters and they lead to the man acting funny and questioning things, picking offences unnecessarily.

Example:
Husband comes back from work by 6pm, wife has been home all day cleaning and working and she's tired and even having a backache and headache.

Husband: Ever since you began to earn more, you now squeeze your face at me when I come back, I know my salary is small but don't forget that it's what has sustained this family for the past 5yrs.
Wife: ?

Another day:
Husband: So you're here and I've been calling you and you didn't answer
Wife: Babe sorry, I was playing this game and you know that at this point, if I shake I'll lose, sorry why were you calling?
Husband: Its not your fault, you don become my madam, why won't you value game over me
Wife: Babe!, today isn't the first time I'm playing this game and you know it
Husband: No worry, I understand
Wife: ?

If he keeps this up, one day she'll snap na
See ehn experiences plenty

Gentlewarrior1:
They are small but 1% really??. Doesn't it seem too low. Maybe 5 to 10%. No?


I also think you're probably wrong about them being magnets for Narcissim. Please do explain the magnet for Narcs. I don't seem to get what you mean by that

As an INFJ, you'll find out that you tend to meet people who love to take advantage and emotionally abuse people more often than not especially in relationships.

I don't know what exactly attracts Narcs but a wild guess is that they are subconsciously drawn to the aura of an INFJ, just like they say mosquitoes are drawn more to type O blood group than other blood groups.

A Narc can spot an INFJ from a picture while an INFJ can only tell after interaction, and yes, I'm speaking from experience. I've dated Narcs back to back for 7yrs+ without meeting them in the same place or circumstances.

Perhaps, constant encounters with Narcs plus the good sense of judgment and observant nature which the INFJ is blessed with, is what also makes INFJs able to see through manipulation and deceit very easily.

Magnoliaa:
And they are usually magnets for Narcs and make up just 1% of the population.

You're speaking from experience. I noticed I was always meeting Narcs omo, it's been a crazy experience meeting some of the worst men on earth while being one of the best people you know.

I'm better now sha, I can smell a Narc within 5mins of discussing about doughnuts

I'm proud to be INFJ, we're rare and beautiful empathic souls with a strong nose for bullshit and manipulators

Lest I forget, highly intelligent too

kaludestiny10:
That falls under unfaithfulness my dear. When one partner is unfaithful to the other, then the relationship tends to deteriorate. Personally, I am against that.

That's not just unfaithfulness. A man cheating to your face and telling you to use the door if you don't like it, it doesn't stop at cheating to her face.

Men who see it as a taboo to wash the plate they ate with or do the laundry because they're men. And they'll rather marry a second wife than do things they believe must only be done by women.

Men believing their wives are commodities because they paid brideprice to another man (something the woman had no say in).

Men believing their wives must not earn more than them or the same with then and her aspiring to earn more could be seen as an attack on his masculinity.

The list is endless. Many women aren't buying it in 2023.

kaludestiny10:
Of a truth relationships are now difficult to keep and maintain. Marriages are crashing daily on an alarming rate. I think these factors are the reasons
1. Unfaithfulness.
2. Lack of trust.
3. Lack of respect to partners.
4. Gender equality. Women now see themselves as being equal to their spouse.
5. Lack of proper upbringing.
6. Lack of perceverance.

You forgot to add:
7. Men believing that they can cheat and nothing will happen

It's funny how the question was addressed to women but 90% of the responses are from men
Men are the ones virginshaming virgin men, same way they age shame and bodycountshame women.

There's no right thinking woman that'll reject a man because he's a virgin.

All the experienced men today were once virgins. That a man isn't a virgin isn't a guarantee that he'll be good at it.

A virgin guy has an unmistakable proof of self control and discipline in this world where many men say that they are polygamous in nature.

You can be sure a virgin man is dating you only because he sees a future with you, not because he just wants to "chop" you.

If you're a lady that cares about sexual Purity, you're safer with a virgin man who will not be cooking up ways to get you in his bed.

How to know a virgin man;
Any guy can claim to be a virgin but a virgin man will never ask for sex neither will he do it if you offer it to him especially virgins over 30yrs. He's ready to break up with you if you insist. He may allow you get naughty but there's a limit. They get self control die. Virgin guys over 35 or 40yrs, if you like, let your ar*s be bigger than Cardi B's own, strip naked and twerk, let them get hard sef, they still won't kn*ck you. Marry that type and sleep with your two eyes closed. I have a weakness for virgin men.

blackgold2018:
is no google. I know is always painful when touched. I was trying to lay a point to Op.
for him to say her girl doesn’t know if her hymen is still intact or not. I was trying to proof to him every girl knows.

Dou I know some disvirgined themselves through Masturbation. But it’s VERY VERY rare. Because how will you self inflict injury to yourself by breaking the hymen that is very sensitive and very painful even with a surface touch.

I don't know any virgin who touched her own hymen.

Everyone knows the breaking will be very painful but touching it yourself? Who does that

It makes zero sense to a virgin. Makes sense to a man but why will a virgin touch it?
1. She knows she is a virgin
2. She knows it's fragile
3. She knows it's painful

So why on earth will a virgin get up and start poking or touching it?
98% of virgins won't even use tampons to avoid stories that won't touch the heart

Do you get why I'm insisting that whoever told you that must have lied or you read it online and saying it with full audacity.

blackgold2018:
you are both wrong.

Virgins feel horrny too.

Of course but they certainly don't go about poking themselves to feel for their hymen
At most, she'll use a mirror or go for an x-ray.
A virgin's worst fear is anything entering there
How she wan explain ? No evidence

That's why some would rather do anal or become expert throaters.

Whoever told you this was lying or you just looked up some hymen gist on Google and posted with full audacity

blackgold2018:
yea..

You're either lying or she lied. She's not even a virgin to start with

There's a liar somewhere in between.

blackgold2018:
yes. They feel Hot too

Of course even plants feel hot too once in a while

blackgold2018:
Some checkmate either knowing or unknowingly by fingering their pussy surface.

Did a virgin tell you this?

Maobichek:
It's quite unfortunate that you don't know what you want, you are talking about marriage and the primary thing to you is "virginity," this is absorbed!

Character, understanding and ability to forgive and be forgiven are the things you look out for while talking about marriage and not virginity. If a lady was a virgin and didn't have sex for a while, her vagina will be tight and you will definitely apply pressure before you will penetrate her.

If really want to marry, virginity should not be your primary concern, thank you.

Don't give this type of advice to selfish people.
Na una dey advice bad people to marry good people.

The bad should marry the bad and the good marry the good.

blackgold2018:
I'm not misleading anybody and I’ll like a lady to respond to me rather to object my claim.

You are not really getting me. This virgins feel Hot too. They sex chat dirty too. Some checkmate either knowing or unknowingly by fingering their pussy surface.

While most know from the sharp pain they feel when their boyfriends try to penetrate at the surface. Or their boyfriends trying to finger her but feels the hymen along the way

A virgin told you this?

lollybizzu:
OP if you're still reading...
This is an experience advice for you.
Best comment so far. You typed my mind

I wish he doesn't take your advice and leaves her honestly. Its fraud to want to marry a woman only because she's a virgin. It's similar to how you as a guy would feel if you find out that a woman only wants to marry you because of your money. Especially if you're looking for a soul mate or love.

The person in question probably has a body count of 20+ and he's putting her on the hot seat because she might not have a hymen anymore

Honeybadgerxx:
Exactly what I'm thinking. But this girl swore with her life that she hasn't even kissed a guy before not to talk of sex, I guess she masturbates.

Now bro, what do you think, let's assume she hasn't been penetrated by anyone before and she lost her virginity to masturbation, should one go on with the wedding plans with such lady? Since the whole reason behind this virginity stuffs is to avoid fornication. I really don't care about her masturbating provided she will stop it after getting married, my problem is her having sex with someone else. Should I go on and marry her, I really love her and she loves me more than I do to her, she's respectful, she's beautiful, she's educated and sensible at least for a lady.

And I also want to know if masturbation is same thing with fornication?

Tell yourself that she has been penetrated and leave her if you can't live with it.

Lol, so there were even bank fees attached to the loan
If Tinubu really wants to prove his goodwill, he should remove every criteria except student admission letter.

The loan can be paid directly to the school, we don't care.

Of what use is removing bank fees when 90% of those applying can't meet the criteria in the first place?

Go abroad alone first for a masters.
In the uk, the masters is 1yr or 2yrs afyer which you'll get a job and can bring your family.

20m will gradually get eroded and now isn't really the best time to start a business especially if you don't have experience

hazinibones:
Hello Nairalanders,

I have this decision bothering me. I know it is a personal problem, but I believe everyone need some guidance at every point in life.

Straight to it, I have been considering Japa for over two years now and I think the opportunity might be here but I am having a cold feet.

I recently started working for a foreign company as a software engineer and the pay is decent when converted to Naira. Enough to live an averagely comfortable life. But my challenge now is that, I have been talking to some friends that are outside the country and they keep telling me how life is not easy there and cost of living is super expensive out there.

I currently earn $3000, which I plan to either save and travel or startup a business here in Nigeria. Please, Nairalanders with experience, is it worth japa to live an almost average life for almost the rest of your life or investing here in Nigeria and growing wealth?

The healthcare and quality education benefit is there as an advantage for japa though.

Thanks in advance for your responses!

Japa now that you can....... If you lose that job, you go hear nwi

Pells1:
Is that girl Siofra or athaliya
Naija girls are nothing but good at golddigging
They don't want to work, very lazy set of monthly bleeders

Like the monthly bleeder that gave birth to you I guess and like the monthly bleeders you will soon birth

Furcko:
both the tester and the testee enjoy the sex, especially the one that lies like a log of wood, so why should the tester foot the bill for both

Cus the testee ends up being called a hoe for it

Raalsalghul:
At the above, stop stylishly avoiding the truth: own your nature.

You're not avoiding broke guys because they have drama, it's in your nature to go for a richer man.

Nothing wrong with that!

Honestly, don't know why ladies like using that line of "broke guys have drama or are insecure".

Even if you see a broke guy that'll lick your feet, you'll still find another excuse or worse you won't even respect him cos you're not wired to.

It is what it is. Stop fronting abeg!

Haba!

Broke men are insecure. Please don't argue, you know it's true

Don27tiky:
God created us male and female. Structured us differently to fit into various roles. I wonder why woman always want to be like men but men never wish to be like women. Women be women stop eyeing men’s role

What do you think women should bring to the table?

Nyascobar1414:
Aunty is feeling Big...
A sensible man cant marry and feel so committed at this era to a female...
Cos Ion see your worth..
Your toto smells, you also menstruate and relaease that stench blood...
So with all these, how would a man tie the knot with a female..

Its just to set an agreement, he gets you impregnated pay you..
And you GTFOutta his life simple..

Your mother, sisters and daughters

sultaan:
Wrong response you just sent me to the other thread.

And that my dear is the main reason why women can't find a good man.

You want someone to work hard for your attention and be the man i n your life, but are not willing to raise a finger to get his attention.

90% of women want the 10% of men so you are always in competition.

Imagine is any class you were, you only wanted the attention of a couple of men most likely 1/10 of the men in that environment.

Do you (or the men) think you are better than nine out of every 10 ladies in that environment.

All that one lady has to do is have bigger hips, butt, or better feminine attribute to get those few men, not because they are shallow, but are attracted to why each individual see they want in a woman. There rest will be determined later.

Seatrade is not in Lagos, now you are down to those other gentlemen on the thread make a choice

I don't believe a woman should "work hard" to get a mans attention. She should work on herself instead, the men will always come.
Have a blessed day

sultaan:
I could be anywhere.

Focus on the character, how do you make things happen in this situation, you just got invited to a coffee.
what do you do?

There is another lady who has just posted a distracting pic of some big butt and boobs in another thread clock is ticking.

Lol, I'm not competitng with anyone ooooo, maybe u should DM the lady with the big butt

Thanks for your coffee offer, I sincerely appreciate it.

MrBrownJay1:
good for you, just like gazillions of women who would rather stay home and be telemundo expert, while hubby does all the maintenance/manual work at home.



the above in bold has absolutely NOTHING to do with biology and all to do with culture... as for the pain a man can withstand, how is this relevant to you bringing "carrying a child for 9 months" with " a man paying all bills"?!



any gainfully employed woman who has a baby gets maternity leaves, whether she is the CEO or cleaner. if you decide that "you" shouldnt get maternity leave, then the probem here is YOU, and nothing else! any gainfully employed woman has the right to receive maternity leave, and probably should get it, as this is more important than any job she may have.



CEOs and business owners have work to do than caring for children at work....thats why we have kindergarden/nurseries etc... and if these parents dont want to leave their kids by themselves then they should find alternatives for that. i doubt there are many parents out there who would rather bring their kids to work, than resign! what kind of child would you even raise in a working environment? what kind of proper working environment do you work at that you have crying/playing children all around you?!?!?



do you actually believe we men care about the design/color of a pram?! so long as it does its intended duty, its all good to us men, whether yellow or green. the fact that you would even ask how much does a pram cost, as if this was relevant to the issue at hand, makes me understand that you didnt get the question.... you women put emphasis on different things in life, which we men dont really care about.... to us, it has to MAKE LOGICAL SENSE, and buying two prams for one child doesnt make any sense whatsoever.

So much aggression... Lol, you are right... dont mention me again

sultaan:
Does that matter when I asked you to have a coffee?

What would your character have done in this instance?

Check out the person or keep the show going?

In real live we all come out as characters to win influence, and those who like the character, try to know the artist

Lol, touched by my question?
Well we can't have coffee if you're in Abuja and I am in Lagos right?

SeaTrade:
You seem sweet and kind.I could do with some sweetness and feminine genuine kindness over here.
I'll message you if that's okay.Want to know more of this mystery lady.

Awwwwwn, thanks for the compliment. Okay send a dm

SeaTrade:
I'll do it but you sha didn't answer my question.

My name, my name, I'm too shy to mention + I am a veery private person

sultaan:
athaliya, you have given Nigerian men what you think they want.

Are you in anyway available for some coffee and snacks, maybe ice cream.

Just respond to this, and we can set something up.

You character is a little strong there but nothing a good man is not able to enjoy

Thanks for the offer, this is not my real character ooo, I'm looking for trouble Where are you based?