₦airaland Forum

@german

how much will a clean 406prestige all extras inclusive, ac, alloys, manual or auto transmission land to lagos port cleared at my doorstep ? thanks. cost pls want to have a figure.

@edoyad and kengali

it all depends on each family individually. the girls family might be rich also. but also bear in mind that they are some yorubas also who dont believe in divorce or adultry. eg i am a yoruba man from a broken home, i didnt ask to be born or raised in a broken home and i know what its like for a child to be raised in a broken home. so there i made a pact with my God that when i av my own family, i will do all humanly possible to make sure i dont have a broken home. my woman is igbo from anambra nise to be rescise and her parents are giving her issues to end the union because she is the first daughter and first born in the family and also am yoruba and from broken home. but this is as far as they can see. the girl in question know how well i have tried for her financially and emotionally. her parents as ok financially but illiterates but anytime she has problem it still the same me she tell me same yoruba man the parents dont like. in the last 3weeks alone i have spend nothing less that 100k on her to take care of her needs. never cheated on her and faithfuly to her. still the parents cant see beyond the fact am yoruba. i might be yoruba but doesnt mean i will act or behave like other yorubas do who treat their woman or wives anyhow. due to this a girl already 23 they are already delaying her from getting married and also forcing her to trade her happiness for their happiness.

what am trying to say with my examply above is that igbo parents needs and igbos in general need to get it out of their mind that all yorubas are same and also yorubas needs to get it out of their head that all igbos are same as well. as amongst the bad eggs there are good ones as well

its very sad but all these nigerian police majority of them are trigger happy and can accidental discharge send someone to early grave. its not right to give them bribe if you are sure you have all your documents complete but sometimes just to avert delays and other things u just have to oblige and grease their palms.

i was in naija about july this year i think and around ikorodu road if you pass the back of ikeja cantonment to link the road thats leads to gbagada expressway. i was in a taxi, well dressed with my id card at work in the uk, suddenly the taxi guy was stopped and i thought they wanted to speak to him only for them to ask me out that they are doing stop and search. i just boned with my rayban aviators no single smile at all, came down stretched my arms for them to search. after the guy search finish ask me were am coming from told him, he asked what do i do for a living i told him showed my id card after like 5mins of wasting my time. he now said oga no vex them rob for here few days ago so we dey do stop and search but anything for the boys as we don dey outside since morning. i looked at him, and said i have money but i wont give you, simply because if you had stopped me and begged me i might have given you but not only did you waste my time but also you humilated me so therefore nothing for you or the bois, went back to the taxi and zoomed off.

Mekana:
u are arguing like a loser, disprove my points or go take a fresh air. An average Yoruba takes time to indoctrinate his kids on how to hate igbos, not how to be successful in life. The paradigm of anti-igbo sentiment is set and advanced by the west. Other ethnic groups don't have any biz with hating igbos, except few like Jona, who are more or less influenced by the evil philosophy of afenifere.

i beg to differ in regards to your quote above mekana. with all due respect most people i know personally that are yoruba dont hold anything against igbos and infact encourage their children to mingle with them. i for example when i was growing up my friends were ogbonna next door that was selling rice and beans with kenneth inclusice of cyprian. we were friends and my folks didnt have any problem with. my mum with her level of education director in ministry of education when i told her my woman was igbo she was complaining and raising eyebrows and i was quick to call her to attention and tell her how dissapointed i was in her for making such comments about igbo people. and i told her its either she accepts my woman or she can vamose i even told her that if she doesnt come to my trad wedding in anambra that another woman will take her place. what am trying to say is even if the parents are trying to make us hate other culture we the generations of today and tomorrow should be able to stand up to them and point them in the right direction. each culture and tribe has its own fault so we should always generalise because mr a asked the man that wants to marry his daughter to bring 1million naira doesnt mean mr b will do the same .

will you handle the shipping and clearing in lagos as well or whats your mode of operation ?

@poster

upload more pics of the vehicle in full. interior, engine, and full body pics then someone might be interested, instead of the partial pics you posted.

@kceelyn

i quite agree with your last post. some families allow the guy to negotiate but also the woman also has an important part to play in the negotiating process as well.

but can you pls tell us how much your guys are asking the guy to bring as bride price.e.t.c so we can have an idea of hoe merciful u guys are o the guy.

kaecy5:
we could start another analysis

N2m dowry + trad marriage N1m + knocking on the door and other things 500k + white wedding hiring hall 800k + decoration 200k + new suit/gown  100k + transportation/hotel for inlaws/family 100k + food 300k = $$$$$$$

u see why the igbo boy marries late, some times u wish he can get support from his parents or family like his yoruba friends, remember he still has to contend with being the highest bidder u know

guy i enjoy ur analysis die. interesting.

Kceelyn:
Am 24,and my mum is already singing marriage in my ears.Let's say I get married next year,which by then,I wld b 25yrs old. Is dat considered as being marrying late

sorry but is your name oluchi by chance at all. ?

@otukpo

i qquite disagree with the one you said igbo parents allow their daughter to marry because of love or the guy is worth 50k.

i disagree in the sense that yes a girl can get married to the guy but also bearing in mind financially it all depends on the girls family to accept it, and also some igbo parents dont care if the love btw the guy and their daughter is perfect, as they will still raise issues in regards to tribe. i know because i am currently in one at the minute.

@epi

now i understand your commrnt earlier. yes if your parents wants to find a rich man for you to marry then that is arranged marriage which should be the case as a woman irrespective of her tribe should be given or have the right to meet a man, love him, take him to her parents and they should accept him without having to start digging into his financial background or the faults in his tribe or family.

the viper:
am glad that many men on this thread were good and honest enough to tell us that they are married to igbo women inspite of the difficulties they went through or the financial drain. we all should understand that the whole tribes in nigeria have different cultures and that high bride price is part or us. though it is subject to change as the economic realities on the ground is singing a new tune for every one. i know some communities that have changed theirs. men like @axeman and co who happens to be our brothers inlaws, i throway salute and i also know that your wives were not old women when u married them. if they were,i believe that u wouldnt have gotten married to them. i dont think that it is a bad thing to look for stability in marriage if that may take u 2-3 more years as divorce is not part of our social set up.

i actually smiled after reading you post even as i get heavy eyes after taking sleeping pills. acknowledgin me as your brother, hopefully felloe guys/men/potential inlaws to be youruba/hausa and igbo will all see each other as brothers and sisters and see each other as ONE. i owe you one bottle of star with plate of isi ewu for 2010.

[quote author=tpia. link=topic=358804.msg5025933#msg5025933 date=1259619394]well, 98% of the so-called "Igbo-bashing' threads on NL end up attacking Yorubas in general and Yoruba women in particular, regardless whose tribe started the "bashing", who actually started the thread, or who posts on it.

Anytime you see a thread titled "Igbo" with something uncomplimentary or not complimentary enough in the rest of the sentence, sure as rain is water, before very long it will become a Yoruba bashing thread.[/quote]i understand where you are coming from but its not just right funniest part majority of all these people that just come and open their mouth anyhow are those underaged guys/girls who just open their mouth wothout thinking. its sometimes bashing each other on the tread but lets always know where to draw the line.

nellaluv:
I believe/sure it was a yoruba persön dat started dis thread. That's y seun put it at front page 'cos it's about igbos. Lol. . . But it has turned into free for all tribes bashing , lets see who's gonna laugh last. I'm out of here.

either yoruba, hausa, igbo, igala, oyinbo, pakistan or indian. whoever started the tread doesnt make a difference. the poster asked a question and he wants answers so lets give mhim answers he requires but bashing each other calling one tribe goldiggas, or broke, or saying females in a particular tribe are muscualr or prostitutes as someone quoted or smelling cunt is very much uncalled for.  this thread shouldnt be more than 3 pages long but its now 7 and still conting just because some people think basjing a particular tribe and each other is the way forward.

@tpia

its not just about attacking yoruba. althoug having a go at each other sometimes makes the tread more interesting but it gets very sad and annonying when some people start opening their mouth and start saying all sorts.

@jona
mabie if you actually watched that movie very well you will see its acting it was a movie used to make people aware about the plight of women going to italy and its called itohan. its a educative movie and also enlightening. and also using derogatory words at people isnt the right way of expressing your thoughts or feelings, as i believe there are better ways you can express yourself or better still keep it to yourself.

Epi:
axeman85 wrote: why delay a woman in getting married mainly because you want to sell her off to the highest bidder ?
axe, before I answer your questions, could you be more precise on the above?

its a question and it means some parents delays their daughters marriage mainly because they want to sell her off to the highest bidder meaning looking for a rich man to come and marry their daughter that what it implied.

@epic

i beg to disagree with your comment. are you saying your parents have the right to deicide a life partner for you, if i may ask you. how old are you ? is it your parents that will live with the woman or you, because i dont know where the stupid idea of arranged marrange came into this discusion.

and fellow nlanders. PLS this is a discussion thread. there is no need for us to be abusive to each other neither should we start insulting each other as it is unwarranted for. the poster asked a question. if you have something to say then say it and leave and dont start raining insults at each other. we are all educated, and responsible human beings so lets all act as one.

farochron:
Should the parents determine my destiny. If my parent saw each other, came together and are leaving happily. Must they come and stop me from getting along with who I feel can make me happy. I think I might begin to see nothing wrong with those that elope with the woman. Even if I have a child and he does not see reason with me I will leave him or her to satisfy himself. But he must never come crying to me. We are all humans parents should realise they can be wrong at times.

When it comes to relationship be you a professor or academician that knows it all. Even counselors blunder. Marriage institution is by far different from academics sometime experience can fail you. Just follow God and how leads you. The best thing I can give my child his good virtues and precepts then the rest is up to God. I can not alter his choice. He came to this world the way I came. He's another individual that came just after me. I have no right to be God over him. I can only guide.

true i agree with you totally, parents are there to give advice and its now left for the child to either follow the advice or disregards it as she will be the one to benefit from it either positively or negatively. same as marriage councellors and those that give guidance and councelling there are also prone to mistakes and all they can give is just their own opinion and advice its left for the individual to follow it or not. you make a good decsion you reap the rewards and you make a bad one, u also reap the rewards. chikena. infact i thinki i will start writing a column in family/romance section in punch. lol

@poster

post pictures as it will help sell your car fast .

farochron:
Tell her to keep doing everything to convince them and never try to be confrontational. I don't know if they permit you to visit her at all. With good demonstration of morals and God most especially God you will win their heart. And if they still refuse you might need to attend thier church and find out if it is outlawed in their doctrine.

Sometimes these parents tend to respect their spiritual leaders and if they still insist then you ve tried your best. Please Move on.

my broda its not easy oo, am in uk she is in naija but am currently rounding off my studies so moving down to naija finally by may/july next year but been to naija 3times this year and getting ready to go again in january. wen am around she visits me and spends time with me. but we didnt even think the parents will take this issue far as they are doing. they attend Kicc and me i attend daystar so its not in their church doctrines just ignorance and foolishness dey worry the man jare. the mum doesnt have a problem but as per in igbo culture the man has the final say so whatever the man says the mother must follow.

Epi:
@poster

Maybe the Igbo boys are waiting too late to propose

its just sad when i read these comments and also hear stories about how a family because of their selfishness and tribalistic nonsense. makes these women to quit a good relationship just to satisfy her family and eventually loose out and the parents that are the faults of these things spend the rest of their life and pass on leaving the woman to bear her cross alone with challenges.  The day we nigerians decide to change our approach to life and mentality towards each other and also start thinking of each other instead of despising one another nigeria will start getting better.  why delay a woman in getting married mainly because you want to sell her off to the highest bidder ? thats why in the quest to getting married to women in igbo culture men who should have been grandparents are still parents because the girls family wnats millions as bride price. men turn to drug pushing just to afford marriage, as someone said earlier his friend had to take out a loan just to marry. what happens after all these millions has been spent and the woman married. what will life after that be for the woman ? and anytime the woman misbehaves the man will be qick to point out that he purchased the woman as he paid millions to marry her.

farochron:
I'm Yoruba and i got married to a lady that is half Delta Ibo. It was not easy due to the different culture I waited 5 yrs and I got my queen. I did everything to convince them that we are not as bad as they think. I'm happily married to her today and the 2 families are doing just fine.

Just be patient and do everything to win their heart. I'm not saying you should kill yourself to satisfy them

i always feel relaxed anytime i hear good news and outcomes like this but you both are happy together because you both stood together. i am willing to do so too, so is my woman but sometimes its always difficult for her as she is the one in the midst of all these wahala.

farochron:
axeman85,

I can't stop laughing here. Is your girl a machowoman? Sorry abt that

why u talk so or ask ? i understand u , dont mind my mother jare u know it was of the negative notion that igbo girls/boys dont have respect that awon aje okuta ma mu omi, and that awon omo ti won ma fi ikpa ji iya won ni ori bed. basically that igbo girls are disrespectful. but as i said i was quick to point it out to her that each tribes has its own faults and it all depends on the individuals.

farochron:
So with all these home videos they watch. The home videos emphasize more on this and funny enough it is these parents that watch it more. But it still does not change anything at all.

some people watch videos for the fun and entertainment of it without watching out for the morals and lessons it teaches.

asha 80:
^^^^See as you dey talk as if you never hear yoruba parents especially women screaming omo ibo,omo ibo,omo ibo whenever there child brings home an igbo person to consider for marraige.

true i agree with you thats why i said amongst ourselves there is racism. and also it depends on the 2 people involved.  my mum was disturbing me to bring my gf to her and i told her she is igbo she thought i was joking saying omo ibo, that i want the girl to beat her. and i basically stood up to her to lecture her that each tribes has its own faults and it all depeds on the 2 people involved.

farochron:
axeman85,

I hope it is not too late b4 they realize it. can't they just respect what binds you 2 together.

i hope so too. but it always baffles me in my last post i agreed with dogzymallos quote because some parents dont even want to hear about love and you will be suprised that some of these parents live in lagos or in the city and have done or wither done business with people from other cultures and tribes and also attend a church which the pastor is either from a different tribe or same tribe.  thats why i say amongst ourselves in nigeria there is racism.

@dogzymallo

i very much concur with your post in regards to ibo parents not wanting to hear about love. i was suprised when i heard an ibo man saying he will disown his first daughter and 1st born because she is dating a guy from another tribe and wants to get married to the person. even to the exten of forcing the girl to swear with the bible to break off the relationship. not caring about his daughters feelings or love for the man who has shown total committment towards her and fought with his own family because of her.

BUT all in all it all depends on the girls involved there are the only ones that can change that notion if they can stand up to their family and parents and put their foot down and willing to live with the consequences then  at least the numbers of igbo girls marrying early will increase.

farochron:
axeman85,

You are right to a great extent but there are few others who don't fall into this category.

well thats why i said personally as also i am involved in one at the minute so i know what i am talking about. i am yourba she is igbo from anambra, reasons are parents are saying is that different tribes and from a broken home which isnt a valid reason, as there are just being self centred and thinking about themselves.
this is a girl willing to settle down with me and am prepared she is 23+ going 24 next year so only God knows for how long the parents will keep dragging the issue before backing down. meaning if they back dwon eventually she will be about 25 or 26 although am in no rush either.

@poster

well am sure the question has been answered on other threads. my own personal opinion,

1:some igbo girls marry late due to the greediness in their family meaning, they want to sell their daughter
2: the family/parents wants their daughter to marry from their town or own tribe which limits their choices.
3: most igbo men want to build houses, buy cars before getting married.
4: the parents are tribalistic and will only allow their daughters to marry an igbo guy, without considering other tribes as well. due to the negative views they have about other tribes.

these factors are personally reasons i believe igbo women marry late and some of them are already clocking late 20s and early 30s and then start looking for spiritual assistance and settle with anyone eventually as long as they are married.

overall some igbo girls marry late because of their families, greediness, selfishness, self centerdness,wickdness all in the name of tribe and culture.

Siena:
Not everyone wants househelp, and some that do can't afford them.

some houseboys are also male and you will also expect them to wash plater, if a houseboy who is a male can wash plate why cant you also as a male wash plate. the only difference is that houseboy gets paid for it, while if you dont, but still you get paid indirectly by eating the food in the plate.

Cyberfreak:
Axeman, You are right and I wish there were more sensible men like you. Nigerian men tend to take what other people think of them too seriously that is why they pretend that they see nothing wrong with treating their wives like slaves just to please their male counterparts and seem like powerful men to them.
Helping your wife at home does not make you a woman or less of a man. Your wife brings part of your daily bread to the family, does that make her less of a woman?

let me quote an example on what i based my opinion on.

I went to see my hopefully to be mother in law. and she asked me that i wanted to get married to their daughter and didnt even have the mind or give them the respect to come and see them before i asked their daughter to marry me. and i simply answered her that i wanted to come but i didnt because their daughter who is my woman told me to wait and that she will tell me when its time to come and see them., the mother simply told me that i should have ignored her and come to meet them that my listening to my woman shows that i am not man enough. i was angry when she said so but i simply told her that i am educated and i have travelled far and see the way things should be done and that i believe that in whatever i do my womans opinion also counts, becuae she knows thm more than myself and if she tells me to hold on before meeting her parents then hold on i shall. The mother told me that in their own culture the man has the final say and decision that the woman doesnt have a say in decision or matters.

What i am trying to point out here is that a child that was brought up in a way like this will definately grow up to act and believe that the household chores are meant for the woman alone. we africans need to get out of this cultural beliefs that since the husband or man is the head of the house or family then washing plate is beneath him and shouldnt be heard off.
i remember a time my woman said to me that i should help her soak the bedsheets that she will wash them when she gets back from work, and i said to myself since i am at home and not going anywhere, instead of waiting for her to come from work tired, cook, wash the sheets, i might as well wash the sheets since i am not going anywhere. thats doesnt make me less a man at all. rather it shows how responsible i am and that i am able to do things without being told to do so.

@poster

it amazes when i see this topic that was just 13 or so now gont to 20. its very obvious you have never left the shores of nigeria or you are on of those guys the father treated your mother same way you would treat your woman.  most men on here i believe are matured and educated men and also reasonable men.  Do not quote the bible to hide or backup your ignorance, because based on your arguments right from page one just shows that they are some guys out there who needs to be more enlightened. washing plates for your woman or mopping the floor doesnt reduce your male ego in the house rather it makes your wife respect you more. i believe we nigerians are more concerned about what the next man thinks thats why we tend to misbehave alot. thats why you see men beating their wives and also women beating and abusing their husbands. there is no biggie in washing plates after all you are assisting your woman and its not like she is ordering you or commanding you. she is asking for your help.  Personally when i wake up and i go to the kitchen and i see left over plates from night before, i take it upon myself to wash it, tidy up the kitchen and do a few chores in the house that i can do. because i see the it as my Home and if i was cleaning my dishes before i got married, what stops me from doing it after.

this is something a man should be willing to do willingly. its not adviceable for the woman to ask her husband or man to wash plate. NO> the man should do it willingly out of choice.

at poster

what is there in assisting your woman wash the dishes. i actually like doing the house work myself. i clean the floor while my woman lies down and read magazine, and when she is cooking i sit with her and after eating i wash the plate. it is called division of labour. she is not your maid neither is there anything wrong in assisting her in the house chores, after all she made the food alone and you ate out of it. some men just need to realise this is 2009 and not 1349. nonsense

Hard