₦airaland Forum

coogar: hahahahaha - backward reasoning at its best!
someone who is not willing to miss a second of her child's growth for work would not also be willing to bring a child to the world and watch the child suffer.

people who dream to give their kids quality training and cannot afford it should stay barren till they can. if having that child is the main priority then they should forget about giving the child quality upbringing and settle for mediocrity. the 2 cannot coexist!

Right.

ileobatojo: So basically we are supposed to believe that someone who is not willing to miss a second of her children's growth for work would be willing to watch her eggs go fallow in the name of the same work? Okay we believe you.

My baby start to exist the moment I make up my mind to have her/him. If I'm not ready then it means i'm still very much baby-less and my eggs can go fallow all they want. I want kids AND I must be able to take very good care of them . Take note of the "AND".

[quote author=Efemena_xy]Of course I know "babies aren't dogs". Nevertheless, bottom line here is people should emabark on whatever suits them best.

Not everyone wants / needs / has to be financially "up there" to have kids.[/quote]It's a free world.

[quote author=Efemena_xy]You do know it doesn't always work out that way, don't you?

Life is not a clear cut case of black-or-white.

Now what do I mean?

~ What if you finally meet your intended spouse/life partner late in life? I say "late" in relation to the female's biological clock. So say late thirties? Early forties? But you've not quite got to the point you want to be career wise / financially. What would you do then? Miss out on having your own biological kids because you've got the "I" and "T" but not yet dotted and crossed them to your absolute satisfaction?

~ What happens if you do reach the pinnacle of your financial aspirations but loose it all in the twinkle of an eye (say for example due to external factors like the stock market taking a nose-dive / crashing, the country getting gripped in the throes of a double/triple dip recession? You gonna wait and ride out the storm? You'll start all over again, from scratch before embarking on having kids?

I really am curious, you know...[/quote]Making up a wale-adenuga induced scenario won't change the fact that the kids didn't beg you to "create" them. So if you've made up your mind to have them, they MUST and SHOULD be well taken care of. Na them curse you? I'm suffering doesn't mean I must invite another head to join me.

Because I don't want to miss out on having my own baby doesn't mean I should wake up one miserable morning, fu-ck my husband, get pregnant, add another mouth to the already starving mouths and end up putting a tray of Goody-Goody and choco-milo on my 5 year old to hawk. Isn't that the height of selfishness? You people are forgetting that babies aren't dogs.

coogar: i hate it when people bring out ridiculous instances such as this one to score yeye brownie points. it's not only the quantity of time spent with the kids that matters but the quality as well. if a stay at home mum abandons her kids whilst doing her own frivolities then what's the point in staying at home? argue objectively, abeg - you are not a child!

Abi? The case of a woman lurking around the neighborhood with wrapper tied around her chest, eating everything in sight and gossiping with her crew while her unkempt child is in the house crying for hours with mucus dripping from his nostrils, is not valid in this argument.

We are taking about a housewife that knows her main job; to take care of her kids!!

dayokanu: What is adequate resources? Living in Agege and living in Ikoyi both are houses kids can grow up in, Onward School and Corona both are schools, Eba and fish vs Chicken and meat are both meals

With a working wife, a better lifestyle is achievable than with a non working one.

If the husband has 1million and the woman makes 250k

The family would live on 1.5m instead of 1m and in most cases the lifestyle would be different

Brb.....

[quote author=Efemena_xy]And don't you need money to look after them properly?

Or money is of no significance here?[/quote]That's the point, ma'am. My husband and I have a plan. No kids till we're ready, both financially and mentally!!

He's making the money, I'm taking care of the kids! Everyone is happy.

[quote author=Efemena_xy]But that's Coogar's school of thought! He's stated very clearly that when he gets married, his wife would have to stop work to look after the kids as he would be foot ALL of the bills ALONE.

Abi even you sef nor understand your own man?? [/quote]I understand my man perfectly well. I said "do wives just stop working abruptly (without having kids and the man's consent) just because they're married?" Read the post again. What I'm arguing for here is a housewife that has kids to take care of!

If coogar wants his wife to stop working when she has kid(s), I do not mind! When I have my baby/babies, maximum everything is it!! I am the one that "requested" for them, because I really want them and I will take CARE of them; my duty, no be volunteer work.

dayokanu: Yahoo CEO Marissa Meyer is a working Mom.

Maybe her son would turn out to be An Agbero

This is common sense. The more time you have for your kid the better!!! Like most things in life, there's no assurance that all kids with proper parental care will turn out great! However, your job is to care for them, regardless! You brought them into the world. They are not cats. They are entitled to maximum care. They shouldn't be a second priority!

While you're working 70 hrs a week to "provide" for the kid, you miss her first dance presentation at school, ekaette will be the first to hear her utter her first word, you hardly know her teachers at school and so on.

What's the point of the "money" you're making?!

If parents don't have the adequate resources to cater for their kids, they should zip their pants.

dayokanu: Of all the expenses above only one relates to a child

Whether procreation or not he would still have to pay

" bills for PHCN, LAWMA, Security, Water and Sanitation. Iya Agba too phoned that she needs money for that medicine we promised her last month. Mama Kemi brought the Ankara material for her father’s burial. Its N5,000 for 6 yards. We don’t seem to have enough foodstuffs again ooooooooo.
the money for my cream yesterday. I want to do my hair tomorrow ooooooooooo to enable me attend Iya Kofo daughter’s naming ceremony. I will need some pocket money as well. Even though I don’t have a shoe that will match the colour of the lace material, I will manage the black one any way"

Housewife without kids to take care of Dayokanu, go and sit down!! If kids aren't involved, the couple can go fûck themselves.
Plus....
If a man isn't interested in a housewife, why marry a one?

If a man doesn't mind one and can foot thousand of bills, why marry one and complain??

Or do wives just stop working abruptly because they're married ? Coz that doesn't make sense.

greatgod2012: Women are endowed to be multi-task.......im proud to say i balance everythings, its not that im a perfect person o, but im endowed with organisational skills in which no one affects d other........im a wife....to my hubby, a mother to my children, a child to my parent, a friend to my friends, an employee to my employer....and no one clashes with another.........that is a pride of womanhood.
.

My husband is a husband ... to his wife, a father to his children, a child to his parent, a friend to his friends, an employee to his employer, and no one clashes with another...... that is a pride of manhood.

Sorry to burst your bubble m'aam. You're not a special snowflake afterall. We are all multitaskers.

dayokanu: FULL TIME HOUSE WIFE VS CAREER WIFE

House Wife
House Wife: Welcome Dear, how was the office today?

Husband : Fine o jare. How are my kids?

House Wife: They are asleep already. Change your clothes while I get your bath water ready.

(10 minutes later)

House Wife: Dinner is ready oooooooo. (She sit down and watch the husband eat, waiting for compliment).

House Wife: The landlord was here today.

Husband: (stop eating) for what again? I have paid the house rent ke!

House Wife: He brought the bills for PHCN, LAWMA, Security, Water and Sanitation. Iya Agba too phoned that she needs money for that medicine we promised her last month. Mama Kemi brought the Ankara material for her father’s burial. Its N5,000 for 6 yards. We don’t seem to have enough foodstuffs again ooooooooo.

Husband: (Grunts)

House Wife: Ehen, you promised to give me the money for my cream yesterday. Junior’s food is finished oooooooooooo. I want to do my hair tomorrow ooooooooooo to enable me attend Iya Kofo daughter’s naming ceremony. I will need some pocket money as well. Even though I don’t have a shoe that will match the colour of the lace material, I will manage the black one any way.

Husband: (begin to cough)

House wife: Oh Sorry Dear! (Rushes to get cold water from the fridge). The devil is a liar! Sorry Darling! Let me get you a pack of juice.

Husband: I am very tired Dear, I am going to bed, We will talk about this tomorrow.

House Wife: Ok, I will join you later. I want to watch this film on TV. Galaxy showed part 1 yesterday, and part 2 will be on soon.

Husband: (Staggered to bed full of anxiety, with no idea on how to meet up with these entire financial obligation)
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CAREER Wife

Career Wife: (Gets back from work) Ekaete! Ekaete!!! Ekaete!!! Where is this useless girl self?

Ekaete : Yes MADAM! Welcome Ma. I de come. I been de attend to the children. Dem don sleep just now.

Career Wife: Ok, get those things from my car for me right away, and get my bath water ready. Set the dinner very snappy. By the way, is Tunde back from work yet?

Ekaete : Che Oga? E nefa come back yet oooo. He been phone say na pounded yam im wan chop for dinner and I don prepare am plus the rice wey you wan chop self. But dem junior na egg and yam dem request for.

(10 minutes later)

Ekaete: Madam, de money you gif me to pay for junior dem school fees, na de receipt be dis. I don go buy the bags of rice, beans, garri, sugar, salt, semo, turkey and fish. I even go to Mile 12 for Ketu to buy the yams, cassava, onion, pepper, vegetable, fruits and meat.

Career Wife: Ok. Did Tunde give you the money to pay the bills for PHCN, LAWMA, Security, Water and Sanitation?

Ekaete: yes Madam! He even gif me money to pay for the house rent for landlord account. He gif Garba money to buy one drum of diesel for the generator, to service the generator, fill the gas. E don pay my salary and Garba own.

(Tunde enters)

Husband:Ah! Bridget, you are back already. The Traffic today is disastrous!

Career Wife: Is that so?

Ekaete: Oga Welcome Sir! Let me get your bath ready while you change your cloth. I don prepare your favourite meal as requested.

Husband: Oh that’s great, Ekaete

Career wife: OooooPh, I am going to bed. I got to be at the airport early to catch the first flight to Abuja tomorrow.

Husband: I will join you later. Got to watch the match between LIVERPOOL AND CHELSEA.

Ekaete: Oga, your dinner is set. (She disappeared into the kitchen)

Husband: (Eats his dinner alone without a companion).

Which do u prefer?

That was a lame argument/rebuttal. You're trying to hard to be right and unfortunately for you, in the career woman vs. housewife "argument" there's no right or wrong side, really.

Who in her right mind will agree to be a housewife when the man can't even meet silly financial needs like cream, salon visits, school fees, etc.

A housewife is a housewife because her family/husband can handle it!!!

I have an aunt (bless her) that her husband wouldn't allow her do shît after some years of marriage. She had four kids for the man, so the man decided that its better for him to solely provide the money, and for her to FULLY take care of their 4 kids since they all girls anyways (girls need special care).

These kids are ôn point as we speak! During open days in school back then, when their mum came to visit, other kids were always jealous of them; jealous of the sweet relationship she has with her kids; first to come for open day, last to leave, she would visit her child's teachers privately and personally and so on.

Trust me, raising kids is a career in itself. Some do it well some don't. A devoted housewife raising her kid vs a workaholic is like comparing an electrical engineer to an electrician. TIME spent and devotion are important factors!!!

damiso: I advocate for having some sort of income(any sort of TOTAL financial dependency on another humam being is not too wise) but someone has to be there to make time for the kids. Whether we like it or not truth is its harder when both mum and dad pull typical full time hrs.I have done it with one child and its not easy talkless of those that do with a couple of children.

. . .reasonable family planning comes to mind. I usually wonder why parents make 4 babies almost all at once and deprived the babies of their entitlements. Its never made sense to me. These parents are still struggling, praying to God to bless their hustle, and then they invite 4 more little heads from heaven to join them in their half-miserable-pay check to pay check lifestyle. Children are not puppies.

Potential parents should tie up their tubes if they aren't ready to take FULL care of their kids. The world they are coming into is cruel enough.

I'm beginning to have a rethink about my anti-abortion stance.

ileobatojo: Oh stop being over dramatic. It's called work life balance. Working families have been doing it for years. Successfully.. If you have a child that you note needs more of your attention, then by all means, address that and do what you must, but I don't agree that all children need a parent around for 30 weekday hours a week to turn out right! Where are you getting this figure from abeg?

That's why most kids people turn out to be 1d1ots; inadequate to total lack of parental care and attention. 6hrs hours a day is NOT enough.

[quote author=tpia@]i think BABE has a real man, by name coogar.
ask her nah, she's been trumpeting on nl since.
i mean, who wouldnt trumpet the fact that they have a man, given this scarcity. [/quote]This psychotic old hag again! Must you make it obvious you've not seen a pènis (talk less of having carnal knowledge) since the Jurassic age?!

coogar: saving face? which face? i do not support this woman by any means but i can clearly understand why a woman at 30 would go this route! this is not an aristo babe case. money or material wealth is not the problem. she's not a blackberry babe too - like in most cases we get to hear. this is just a simple case of a woman who has been dealt a cruel blow in the nigerian society where an unmarried woman at 30 is almost an outcast!

If I demand that you write an essay stating why you think this woman is right/justified and another stating why you think the woman is wrong, your first essay will be up 4 pages long while your second one will be a sentence!!!

So, I have every reason to believe that you support the woman.

You claim that the sèx is meaningless; it's just sèx! If it's just sèx, single men don finish for Nigeria?? If it's just sèx what's the difference between JUST sèx with a married man vs. a single guy.?

ileobatojo: Spot on!! He's just trying to rile up the married females here.

Of course. It's always a coogar vs married women thing in this section. If married women are going this way, Coogar would rather go the other way.

I'm sure there's a reason behind this and I'd love to know.

coogar: that you and ileobatojo decided to defy their warnings and ran after boys don't mean every other girl was as rebellious as y'all. it's quite plausible she realised a tad late that she should pay attention to her social life which is not entirely her fault - she was just being a daddy's girl! should women now suffer cos they obeyed their parents?

So now you're blaming her parents?? What won't you say finish for this matter?? Her parents were still forcing her to read her books at 25?? Spare me the superstories, oga! You support the woman!! You're just saving face.

coogar: let's even agree the mistake was entirely here for argument's sake, she should then remain husbandless? you are a meanie! how i wish it's your husband the woman is trying to snatch.......until she finds her own.

I perfectly understand you now. You've been servicing women like the 30 yr old babe in the past! So you'd understand their plight.
Now that we're married, and you read stories like this, you remember your old ways and your heart breaks for them!
AND/OR,
You already know your stance will irritate most people(married women) on here, and since you're the "Coogar" that loves to argue, supporting the woman will be the logical thing to do.

You ignored my question btw;
"You said sèx with kids or STDs is meaningless." Are you implying that our sèx(life is meaningless)?

ileobatojo: Please don't stop jare. Don't mind that enabler of husband snatchers

Like I said, Coogar;

"Why should anyone get hurt or blamed for her "career-driven" path? I'm not saying it's wrong to be a "career woman" but stay true to it! If you spend the first 3 decades of your life hustling and schooling, when you see your mates all married with kids then, stay clear!! You can't eat your cake and have it, except you want to regurgitate it, which is FILTHY!!

You're trying too hard to make the woman the victim! She's NOT!! "

Oops! I was back to continue with Coogar, but I see it's already a sausage fest.

coogar: sex is meaningless if it doesn't produce any fruit of the womb or spread STI/STD.

You're implying that our sèx(life) is meaningless ?

freecocoa: Seriously?
Well I'll tell her to socialize more as in go to places with chances of meeting eligible bachelors, smile more even make the first move, how hard can that be?

That's what I have to deal with, freecocoa. Coogar supports any wrong that has to do with sèx; just because it's sex!

Btw, Coogar what exactly are you trying to do here? You claim you're not supporting her wrong but you've written pages and pages of stories, panting the woman as a victim (of only God knows what). You've only said she's wrong once; just once. In your heart, you support this woman; which baffles me!!!

^^ you may wanna modify your post.

coogar: we are humans - how many times have you asked for God's forgiveness only to fall back into the same sin? did God shoot you for always coming to confess your sins? did He refer you to a shrink? there's no empirical evidence that this woman is a serial homebreaker. it's her first time and this is why she's naive to say such nonsense to another fellow.

Don't bring God into this, sir. Your example was about "stealing my belonging". God doesn't punish you directly for your sins most times, the laws/constitutions do!

coogar: blame nepa for infidelity? haba
armyofone opined there are other activities a woman can engage without bothering about sex - and i rebutted her that nigerians go out more and they tend to have more time on their hands to socialise. i can understand why women of her age do these things but it does not mean i support their action. read between the lines. a cheat is a cheat but this cheat is 30 with no hope of getting her own man or having children? what should she do? bestiality?

You're blowing it out of proportion. What do you mean she has no hope? That's the justification I'm talking about. It was stated that she has no hope?? There aren't sîngle men in Naija to fûck? Fûckîng the married man will give her hope? No hope of having kids? Call a spade a spade, she's filthy!

Why should anyone get hurt or blamed for her "career-driven" path? I'm not saying it's wrong to be a "career woman" but stay true to it! If you spend the first 3 decades of your life hustling and schooling, when you see your mates all married with kids then, stay clear!! You can't eat your cake and have, except you want to regurgitate it, with is FILTHY!!

You're trying too hard to make the woman the victim! She's NOT!!

coogar: maybe in america where there are other things to do.....it's not the same in nigeria. people don't stay at home in nigeria. nepa wouldn't let that happen. nigerians go out more - i can bet the last time a man asked you out must be in 2008. . if you are in nigeria, you can have as many as 50 toasters per day. how long before a single woman gives in to the pressure of naija men. blood flows in her not cement.

What is it you were trying to do here? Justifying the situation?? You blamed NEPA, my friend!!

coogar: stop comparing apples and oranges my friend.....
have i blamed anyone on this matter? did i even support the guilty party in any way? i only said she should be applauded for her honesty - it does not mean she's not guilty. if i steal your money and i open up to a cop that i have stolen from you. i would get credits for my honesty but get punished for stealing. it's what it is........

Honesty is different from gloating!!!! If you steal, and you report yourself to the cop and you stop stealing then you'll be applauded. You can't keep stealing and keep reporting yourself and call that honesty! You'll be shot for your so called honesty or referred to a shrink.It's gloating!

coogar: much ado about nothing.......
she should be applauded for her honesty. many other women do these things discreetly even when they lead praise-n-worship in their church.

It's not honesty until the wife knows about the affair. If the wife knows and she's on "her neck" and 30 yr old is still sharing, then that's honesty!

Btw, weren't you the one telling me yesterday that a guilty person is guilty and should solely take the blame for his/her actions; victims/circumstances shouldn't be blamed for ANY reason.

A woman(the guilty) is defiling and insulting the institution of marriage and you're blaming NEPA(circumstance)?!

You can't compare being gày to being a ràpîst or a serial killer. The latter is directly inflicting pain on another human; disturbing societal peace. A gày isn't exactly causing anyone pain. They ain't disturbing no one; though they are VERY annoying!

However, I have a problem with them screaming that they want to get married. Now that's taking a piss! Marriage is an institution that has been molded and reformed over many centuries. These changes are solely centered around the union between a man and a woman! The "rules" of marriage applies to a man and a woman, not a man and man!! It's like applying the rules of baseball to football! How will it work?

Gàys need to form an institution called Gàyrraige; making their own rules.. Allowing gàys to get married is insulting to heterosexuals.

It's also funny when gàys say they have the RIGHT to get married. Lol! Marriage isn't even a right, it's a rescriction of rights!!

[quote author= coogar]they all do!
i make sure i hammer this at the start of the relationship - and they sometimes swear they are not that vain......only for them to start lining the eyes like a football pitch.[/quote]Chei! Which hammer? If only they knew!

coogar: you know you are different.....:
this is why we are inseparable. you spend a maximum of 5 mins touching your face with all kinds of sharp objects.

Lol. I don't like you anymore.

[quote author=Efemena_xy]Coogar, 'tis quite simple - don't date girls that use eye pencils! [/quote]Oh pls. Pay no attention to what Monseiur Coogar is saying. . He adores me wearing eye pencil. When we're about going out, and he doesn't see the smoky eye/ cat eye effect on my face, he tells me to go apply my eye pencil. I'm even forced to wear it to sleep sometimes.