₦airaland Forum

Dear lord,

Please pick my calls too.....

Carefully read the image below. Tell us the answers to the following questions in the comment box.


Who should be blamed for the above? 

Do you think what the lady in the above picture claim is right? 

Should a woman attack the other woman her husband cheats on her with? 

How should one react to the issue of a cheating spouse?

Can cheating be justified?

What role does the other woman play in a case like this?

Carefully study the image below. Tell us the answers to the following questions in the comment box.

Who should be blamed for the above? 
Do you think what the lady in the above picture claim is right? 
Should a woman attack the other woman her husband cheats on her with? 
How should one react to the issue of a cheating spouse?
Can cheating be justified?
What role does the other woman play in a case like this?

Source: http://www.baesdiary.com.ng/2017/04/when-wife-physically-batters-other-woman.html#more

Lalasticlala

Wapkoshcom:
ack in high school
this babe we don't talk but she knows me

So after high school
(she's already in oou now)

But right after that?
We started becoming close friends

She opens up to me a lot
She sends me a pics of her on bed one day we chatting in the evening she said it was a mistake
Later on i asked y she didn't come back home for Easter and she said he mom didn't allow her immediately she sends pics of her mom and her dad (her dad is in germany koren berg i think)
So yday she called me
Like 8am but outta fear i couldn't pick...

So today again she sent an audio she was singing a Muslim song so i sent this emoji


But later she said it was a mistake

Oh less i forget a guy toasted her

imagine she sent me all the screen shot of the guys's


Guys i just wanna ask,
Is she into me or what?
Cos i don't wanna make a bad move
Yes I'm a kid I'm 19
So bfor yu start to.bash

She didn't make a mistake sending those.

Babe is already into you.....

It's all up to you now, that's if you like her.

All the best!

The signs of friend zone are different from the listed above!

It is common knowledge that when you ask a man out, you might be taken for granted by that man, some might not respect or really place a good value on you. This is because most men love the chase! They want to be the one to pursue you, ask you out and all that. It gives them a yes-i-did-it feeling! You dig?

Because of this knowledge, a girl might be feeling the boy, while the man might not be showing signs that he is interested in her. She wants to be respected, but she also want to date the man. She decides to bring a lot of tactics to work, who knows, she might just indirectly tell the man she wants him. Here's how a girl ask a man out, without asking him out.

1. She asks if you have eaten.
If she constantly ask you if you have taken meals, this is the first sign she's hitting on you. She understands that the way to a man's heart is his belly.


2. She constantly gives you gist of the men asking her out.
You are the one she gives a download of all the men disturbing her for a relationship. She's also quick to let you know she's not interested in them all. So, who do you think she likes? It's you, Bro!

3. She laughs at your driest joke.
So, you think you are a good comedian because you make her laugh? Nah, it's because she really likes you and wants you to know that you can make her happy.



4. She tells you she's bored.
If she always tell you she's bored, and she also tells you doesn't want to hang out with her girlfriends, she is definitely longing to hang out with you.



5. She calls you funny pet names
One way girls tell you they want you is to call you funny pet names. If she calls youbig head, mumu boy, naughty boy, she likes you.

6. She tells you that you are her best friend.
When she goes like 'I'm really free with you', 'I can be myself around you', 'it's a good feeling to know you are there when I need you', just know that she can't wait for you to ask her to be yours.

7. She says you are cute.
When she says 'you are kinda handsome', or she calls you 'Mr Cute', know that you got her tripping.

8. She likes it when you visit her
And she's quick to return the favour.

9. She says you are different from other men!
Need I say more?

10. She wants to know if you are seeing someone
You put up a display picture of a girl on your BBM or WhatsApp,  and she is like 'she's pretty, is that her?' Babe just want to know if she has some chances with you!

Source: http://www.baesdiary.com.ng/2017/04/10-ways-she-asks-man-out-without.html#more

Cc: lalasticlala

Favouritism is the practice of giving unfair preferential treatment to one person or group at the expense of another. This practice is usually frowned upon by many, but today, parents tend to love one sibling over the other, and they don't stop there, they display this act to the children, they let them know they prefer one child to the other.

In the Bible, we find example of parents who preferred one child to the other, and this leads us to this question - Is there an absolute response to the question of favouritism and what is the reason for your answer? 

To buttress this, there are two accounts of famous personalities from the Bible - Joseph and David.

Joseph: He was the 11th of twelve sons. He was the father's (Jacob) favourite, he had a beautiful garment sown for him by his father to set him apart. He was disliked by his siblings and was even sold into slavery. God used this to project him to purpose in life. His father and siblings came to partake of his achievements when he became second in command in Egypt during a time when everyone else suffered famine. (Genesis 39).David: He was the last son of seven children of Jesse. He got the opposite of favour from his father, because he was smaller. He was sent to do the things considered menial, like tending to sheep and food delivery for his brothers who were on the front lines of the battlefield. Eventually, he became a king (one of the greatest ever ) but little was said of his siblings. (1 Samuel 16).From the above, Joseph was shown favouritism, and his family was recognised after He achieved a feat. David on the other hand, wasn't his dad's favourite, and little was said about his family or siblings after he became king.

Could it be favoritism that made the first family got recognition, while the other family didn't get that as a result of no-favouritism?

While there may be more stories to speak for and against Favoritism, should fairness be maintained among siblings or should exceptions be made ?


This post first appeared on this blog - Bae's Diary!

Source: http://www.baesdiary.com.ng/2017/04/favouritism-should-parents-prefer-one.html#more

I got this from my inbox. This got me wondering if people still fall for scam like this....

"Child of God i don't know you but God knows you well, i was led by the spirit of the Lord to go through your profile and pray for you, as i was praying for you i was taking to the realm of the spirit to see things around you i see favour from God and i see more spiritual attacks the enemies are working on holding your favour from God. And the enemies want to kill you by accident. The Lord said i should tell you to sow a seed of Favour and Breakthrough to the lives of those children in Eghosa Sarah Motherless Home in Kebbi state before the end of three(3) days why i guild you through with prayers because the Lord want to put your enemies to shame and also manifest his promises in the life of your family and you if only you believe in him and do what he commands, you will testify to the Glory of God. Call the M.D in charge of the Orphanage home on 08186895450 God bless you"


Read more stories here: www.baesdiary.com.ng

adem30:
Is that your mother-inlaw @the second pics?

Be nice.

Op, you look good.

Beautiful concepts too.

God bless your home!

Gshegg:
They've slain their bodies..

lalasticlala

subtlemee:
I wish God didn't give man the knowledge of pleasure of se*x...all the problems in this world stems from it, starting from the garden

i told a friend some days back that problems that stemmed from sex and related issues would have not bn, if the male genitals only developed after they say 'i do' in a formal setting. and if he tries something funny after that, his genital disappears.

but then, our maker didnt create zombies,he gave us freewill to choose btw good and bad.

A Facebook user got this to say about girls that sleep around and giget 'remnants' to their husbands.....

"The problem with most Slay Queens today is, they are young in age but have old bodies(disgusting)that's the problem some grooms battle with today. The young man agreed to no sex till marriage, waited till the wedding night and was excited to
see the lady's naked body the first time and what did he see? Sagged breasts, stretch marks nd over stretched birth canal, caused by unwanted pregnancies, abortions, multiple births nd bleaching dat the man knows nothing about. Some guys gets there years ahead of him, milked her dry nd left him with trash. it's a huge disappointment on a wedding night, all becos those guys promised here money nd material things(it's sad). Some men don't recover 4rm d shock. dey feel cheated and outdone! Those guys who used her many years ago did not deem it fit to marry her, while he, the groom chose to wait, court her properly, paid her bride price and wed her. See what he got!
Some people say marriage is more than sex, But sex is very much part of marriage. Infact, sexless marriage is a disaster going somewhere to happen. So, as you prepare to be a good wife, prepare to give your husband brain exploding sex too! That is the truth. I won't deceive you . Sexual pleasure is one of the reasons we get married. You can deny
that from now till , but that is the cold, hard truth! Alright lady, package your body to give that great man some pleasure in marriage. If you are giving men sexual pleasure as a single person, you are a LovePeddler. i mean only prostitutes do that so zip up and do the right thing. Stop allowing men suck your breasts! Why in the name of God will you give a man who doesn't know your parents talkless of paying your brideprice your breasts to suck. Stop allowing greedy, selfish, squeze you, milk you dry and turn you to trash cos of material needs! Keep your breasts firm for your husband only! Let your husband be
excited on the wedding night. He should be excited not disappointed seeing you naked the first time! Stop having sex with different guys for God's sake! You shouldn't have stretched to the point of easy acommodation on the wedding night. You should be firm and
brand new. Having regular sex makes that place weak, wide and unpleasurable.
Then you get pregnant nd did abortions. You went through contractions that expand your hip bones leaving you less in shape. you did multiple D&C and your birth canal is as wide as an express road all in d name of slaying. come on, what are you doing for God's sake! Stop that shit, stop that shit right now, nd
stop turning your self to garbage can where men dump useless, irresponsible, unwanted sperm nd leave you to get rid of the baby ! Some single ladies can't count the number of abortions they've done in their life time!
At least for the first 5 years of your marriage your body should still be in shape. As you age, he will adjust to you and keep enjoying your body because he was the one who turned it to that infact, you give him another level of pleasure. Married people give each other pleasure for life!
The bottom line is this, zip up. Stop allowing guys romance you! Stop having sex, stop doing abortions cos u want to trend nd slay. It causes lots of wear and tear, makes
you look older than your age, less desirable in marriage and your husband will not respect you as he should.
After you have made a good u-turn, give your self at least 5 years for your body to gain some
strength and fall in shape before thinking about marriage. This is very crucial.
Marriage is more than sex but sex is part of marriage and no one should joke with it. #foodforthought#selflessbae"

What do you think about his write up?

Source: http://www.baesdiary.com.ng/2017/04/see-what-this-facebook-user-claims-he.html#more

The stories people write to tarnish good things.....

Op, tell us the truth..... u actually wish you are still a V.....

Dear ladies, if u are still keeping yourself, please keep it up, don't be discouraged!

NoToPile:
I am quite surprised people are not stating what may be the real challenges and what they are talking about is stereotype that has no basis.


Cultural challenges are the main things that may cause problems in an intertribal marriage and it starts mainly from interference by inlaws.

1. The wedding ceremony proper: An intertribal marriage may begin to have issues from the planning of the wedding, traditions culture , this is the way is done have made a lot of marriages never to even see the light if day.
E.g The church to wed, as simple as this may sound it has causes a lot of disasters in intertribal marriages especially Yoruba to Igbo and it happens majorly when the hubby is Igbo and the bride is Yoruba.

Yoruba culture is The wedding holds in the brides church or better still brides fathers church. And in IBO culture its not compulsory to be in the church of the brides parents , quite a lot of people do it where the hubby and his peeps are.

My friends are in this dilemma , his mum insisted it must hold in their family church (catholic), the guy himself is not a catholic , the girl doesn't mind wedding in catholic but her Dad is an elder in the baptist church and culturally ( the way yorubas do it) the wedding should hold in the brides/brides father church as it is believed the man is coming to pick her from her church.The groom is Igbo and bride is Yoruba.

The groom spoke to the brides father and the brides father told him that even when the brides elder brother married a foreigner they had to travel to the UK to marry her that they are the ones that have to go and pick her that that is how it is done in the SW.

The grooms father is indifferent about the whole thing and has said they should do it how it is done but the grooms mother is insisting it must be in their church and she is also insisting that the church must be 3 months after the traditional , which is not even going down well with the groom and bride because of costs the couple feel they shd do t he trad and white possibly the same day or a day interval (which sounds cost effective) but she wants 3 months interval.

After much persuation the brides father agreed they shd go do the white at catholic but he may not attend everybody was a bit received that they has been a meeting point but later on the brides brothers met and said no.

I told the groom to plead with his mum since its not a cultural necessity to wed in the grooms church where he comes from but he said his mum didn't buldge, his dad has spoken ti the woman severally and she's still insisting, she even prefers if its in the east.I said can't they scrap the church stuff out and go to registry after the trad and my friend said his mum insisting on church .

Now everybody is back to square one since early last year.

Now I do believe that my friends mum has some personal issues apart from cultural differences, because I really can't even understand why she's insisting on 3 months interval when the couple don't want it that way.

I pray that engagement doesn't sink because of this issue.


2. Naming ceremony, some peeps don't have an official naming ceremony after 8 days of birth in fact this has caused some issues in some churches because bilically the child should be named on the 8th day but for some cultures its not so.
Now if you marry from that place you may find it odd not to name your child on the 8th day even if you feel its the Christian thing to do and if you don't apply wisdom it can generate a lot of problems.


3.Names to give children, sounds simple but once saw a thread about this.

4. Visit to village , personally I still don't understand why Igbo's congregate at their villages every December , now if you want to marry and Igbo person for example you should be ready to follow him every year as a lady.

5. So many other cultural differences, languages spoken to children etc etc.

The challenges in intertribal marriages don't come from the couple themselves most times but it comes from the relatives of the couple. Most times no body is right or wrong its just the way its done in their place.

So if you want to go into an intertribal marriage you should be ready to let go of a lot of things find a way of merging both cultures together so that you as a couple will be happy and most importantly avoid family interference.

Most importantly if you have Christ and marry into a true Christian family you won't have tribal issues because most times some people value tradition more that christaininty and if one wants to clash with the other they place tradition first.

I applaud your wisdom.

Well composed write-up.

Thanks

afroxyz:
While y'all are still brewing in 17th century ideology, I've matched my action with words

Congrats!

texazzpete:
@Topic

People should be free to marry whoever they want.

Any relation opposed that will not see reason (or cannot provide concise and compelling reasons why the marriage should not happen) should be struck off the wedding invitation list and ignored.

Do you know how many people have been cheated out of their dream partners because of the words of either their parents, Pastor or 'prayer warrior'?

True!

Afam4eva:
Every prospective couple will have to decide what is best for them. Just like some people get married because of their partner's good behavior, others get married because of hips or boobs. In the same way you have to decide which is important, consent or love. It's the decision of the couple to make.


Like i said, it;s her choice to make. If she's ready to take what comes to her from his family because of love, then why not.


People kick against inter tribal marriage for several reasons which includes but not limited to the fact that they want someone who understands them based on cultural terms.

There are merits and demerits of inter tribal marriage but it's still boils down to the people involved. If an inter-tribal couple break up after one year in marriage, it's not necessarily because they're from different tribes but because they failed to work on their marriage just like other marriages of people from the same tribe.

If they broke up because of tribal misunderstandings then it's because they allowed their misunderstandings get to them. It's no different from couples having financial problems.

Thanks for your explanation. Nice write up

Adunni Faye Adewale, popularly known as Adunni Ade is a US-born, Nigerian actress, who broke into the Nigerian entertainment industry with her comedy skit, ‘Date Gone Bad.’


Since then, she has featured in a number of Nollywood movies.


The  mother of two in an interview with Motherhood In-Style Magazine shares more about her life, kids and career.


She also takes us through what it means to be a single mother in Nigeria.


ON WHY SHE IS NOT WITH THE FATHER OF HER CHILDREN


Well, I just had to make that decision though it took me a long time to realise or stop lying to myself that it was never going to work out even though I tried as much as I could. I just decided that what’s best for me is to walk away and still be here and be with my kids and still have the opportunity of being the best mother possible, so yeah, I had to make that decision.


It was really tough, it was really painful. I think that hurt me the most out of anything that I have ever been through in my life, walking away was the hardest thing to do.




ON SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION AS A RESULT OF HER FAILED RELATIONSHIP


I think the major thing that got me through was the fear that somebody else would raise my children if I sat in that relationship, that was the scariest thing for me, that my kids would see somebody else as their mother.


Depression is no joke. A lot of people in this country, Nigeria, don’t know want to admit that depression is an illness. People don’t know the extent to which it affects the mind.


Not a lot of people of people know this; in the past, I have tried to commit suicide because it was just too much, just too much for me but I guess God loves me enough to still.


I did take therapy once or twice a week, I think. I did that for quite a few years and pretty much just blocked everyone out.


Coping as a single mother in Nigeria


Well even before I moved back, I didn’t like placing myself in that ‘single mother’ status. I’m a parent. Yes, it takes two to become a parent but hey, when it’s one, let that one do the best they can. Now, how have I been able to cope in Nigeria? The same way I was able to cope in the States. If I had experienced those things in Nigeria, I probably would have just killed myself a long time ago because this country is tough.


But as tough as this country and its people are, I’m also a tough cookie and I never give up. If I set my mind to do something , regardless of what it is, I will get it done. The time for myself is gone. When you have kids, it’s not about you anymore, it becomes about the other lives that you have brought into this world. So, my main focus, my main goal is about my children and they have been my drive and my motivation from day one


Source: http://www.baesdiary.com.ng/2017/04/adunni-ade-opens-up-on-dealing-with.html#more

Cc: Mynd44
lalasticlala

Thanks OP.

Isn't BBN over already?

alexialin:
Thanks dear, we definitely will.
Thanks

Uwc dear

alexialin:
Op you are so on point.

Thank God, I have such guy in my life.

I can't ask for more.

Love you boo boo... In case your reading this

Awwww.....
That's awesome
You guys should keep it up.......

Bumbae1
firstking01

Please sheath your sword.

Let it go please.....

Thank you.

Dating terms like Sexting, Mooning and Ghosting have been used sparingly in the world of relationship. But Cushioning?

Cushioning is the new dating term you definitely need to know about before you are cushioned in your relationship. Maybe this has been in existence for a long term, however the term just surfaced online.


You know when you have a phone, then you get extra battery for it, just incase the original battery of your phone gets drained or damaged. In this case, you won't really feel bad or panick, all you need do is to use the extra battery you have kept. Does that explain cushioning?

According to Urban Dictionary,

Cushioning is a dating technique where along with your main piece you also have several 'cushions,' other people you'll chat and flirt with, to cushion the potential blow of your main break-up and not leave you alone.  It's purposely and deliberately flirting with other people you can rebound with if you breakup.

You actually dating Jude, but then you chat and flirt with Bayo (and Precious and Mubaraq), as a back-up plan, of course secretly. If Jude breaks up with you, you won't really feel heart-broken, because this other guy(s) is there to cushion the effect of the break you had with your main date.

Why do people engage in cushioning?

No one wants to get hurt or go through the heat of a heartbreak. People do not want to be lonely or left out just there. Most people want to be in a relationship, most people need people to talk to and make them feel desired, so if a lover says goodbye, there's someone out there for them, and they won't totally feel the pains of losing out on love.

Also, some people already see the sign that their present relationship will hit the rock soon, hence they quickly find someone who they share their attentions with, while hoping that the main relationship doesn't fail. If it fails, they won't totally be the victims, they quickly move on to their plan B.

Is cushioning a form of cheating?
In my opinion, I think it is. I really think if you don't want your partner to see a particular message or chat with another person, you should not be engaged in it. Simoly put, don't do what you dont want to be caught doing! If you think your partner will break up with you, talk to them about it, confront them and let them tell you the hard truth. If you get to find out the truth, simply walk away and start all over again.


Dear Bae's Diary Readers, What are the signs you are someone's cushion? Tell us in the comment box.

This post first appeared on this blog - Bae's Diary!

Source: http://www.baesdiary.com.ng/2017/04/cushioning-new-dating-anxiety-everyone.html#more

geezyk:
That's how they'll be deceiving you with love, but at the end of it all you get burnt and back to square one, shit_ is just a waste of time jare..

Dating isn't a waste of time....

Dating the wrong person is the waste of time....

Twizzy30:
Op nice writeup. But telling her my deepest secrets is a no no for me, these gals are nt predictable u know.... Btw I have this gal I like very much, but it seems she don't ve any emotion, she once had a failed relationship, but it seems she's not ready to let go. Even when I tell her I love her, she says she doesn't believe those words. Pls what can I do to her ?

Thank you.

Well, I think you should not rush her to be in love with you. Love is patient. Also, she need's to heal from her previous relationship, so you dont end up as a rebound. Trust me, if you force her to be in a relationship with you, it might not last. She would use you to 'cushion'(read about this on my blog) the effect of hr failed relationship. When she eventually finds someone she feels she loves, she moves on and you feel heartbroken.

Don't rush her, stop telling her you love her for now, just express it in your actions i.e the things you do for her..... If she eventually trust you not to break her heart, she will want all of you, she will want a relationship with you. All the best!

enesty77:
My experience has thought me never to tell any one my secretes or whatever bothers me, cos I feel they might end up using it against me

I get your point. Some people will use your secret against you.....

That's why you should know the person well enough, before you tell them your secret.

Try telling them something little first and see how they react to that.

[quote author=obiorathesubtle post=55572334]You are so funny.....

Bumbae1:
Lovely write up

Thank you. Hope you read it to the end...

[quote author=obiorathesubtle post=55571836]U mean u just pick a random girl, and walk down the aisle with her without knowing her first?

Dating/courting is a period where you get to know someone, then you decide if you want to marry them. This is the reason not all dating leads to marriage.....

[quote author=obiorathesubtle post=55571094][color=red]
Lol.

Do people marry without dating/courting (irrespective of the time frame)?

I mean if dating is a waste of time/resources, then marriage would be hard.

ToriBlue:
Awwwww! so nice, but when we find that person, something will prevent us from marrying them.

Thanks dear.

Its not everytime something prevents us from marrying them, some people still end up with their 'dream' person.