₦airaland Forum

Majikals:
So where should we put our phone when charging? In the pot or fridge?

OP, that incident is just a case of bad charging cable, faulty socket or bad phone /battery

Okay you won't listen abi?
Continu...

Infact...charge it on your petrol can

Oya tell me...

Are you a stone

8

Since you didn't ask for full melon.

Lalasticlala oya do your work.

BRITISH FACEBOOK POST:
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ANGELA GRANT: - I love my husband so much and I can do anything to please him. But I have recently been finding myself attracted to his younger brother, what should I do folks?

COMMENTS:

William Hale: I think you need to talk to your husband about it because marriage is all about communication.

Vanessa Drinkwater: Oh dear! I have been in your shoes before. I had to wake up and face the fact that I am married.

Tracy Bamby: Awwwww love….Get yourself a nice cuppa tea… it’ll sooth away that burning ache you feel for his brother…oh and don’t forget to watch Oprah later…*huggz hun*
---------------------------
NOW CHECK OUT THE NIGERIAN POST

RAMAOTU IDEMUDIA: I live with my husband and two daughters...anytime my brother in-law comes to visit, I feel the urge to be with him instead. I need advice please.

COMMENTS
Titilayo Kurukere: Ashawo !…no wonder you can’t even give the poor man a son…so so daughters *mtcheew*

Damilola Gbadamosi : Oloshi leleyi, your brother in-law ke

Amaka Ede: You are v disgrace to your family and all women. JEZEBEL!

Bornboy The Bigboy: You are just too cute. I love u, my BB pin is 22AA22BBC…please add me so that I can take care of you when my containers arrive from high and low seas…bebi leave ya husband lemme show you the life!

Mohamadu Bello: This is all Buhari's fault

Ekaite Akpan: @ Mohamadu, YOU ARE MAD...IT IS JONATHAN's FAULT…YOU HE-GOAT! In fact, I don’t even know why I am toking to you sef…..ILLITERATE!

Mr Smith (Confused Briton on the friends list): Huh?

Suffering And Smiling Student: Has ASUU strike been called off?

Prophet Touch Not My Anointed: The bible says in ‘fallopian’ chapter 2 verse tatee…thou shall not look at ya husband’s brothers with lust. Repent my sister.

Aminu Megida: May Allah forgive u

Aishatu Yaya: It’s not ya fault….shey, is the man that decided to put ring on ya finger….there are plenty good women around but he decided to choose you…useless ojukokoro.

Adebiyi Ojo: Abeg, is anyone coming to London?….I need someone to bring me some crayfish, its urgent.

Captain Morufu Ikechukwu-Hassan: Auction!! Auction! Auction! Customs impounded vehicles @ reasonable prices. Inbox me for more details.

Patrick Obahiagbon: The enormity of this crinkun crankun will bring about Armageddonrial end to the fiscal polistikum edificacy of the I do…. I don’t of the marriage.

Your case is like that of d idiot below.

Idiot: I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, And all the patients were shouting, '13....13....13.' The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a Little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see What was going on...... Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick! Then they all started shouting '14....14....14'..

Most jobs require age limits and you say age is not important on CV?

This is the kind of treatment you get when you are the No1 graduate in your village.

Lalasticlala

.

[quote author=slimberie post=41464656][/quote]Really?

Mr FFK with plenty lies.

Sambisa forest is now ablaze.

You failed to mention that the military repelled your BH boys when they tried to take over towns.
Just so you know sir, Uncle Jona only fought BH because he wanted to win election. Otherwise, it wouldn't have taken him 6 years to buy arm and grudgingly fight the BH.

It's obvious that the current government is seriously fight them.

I can as well ask you sir: how many LGAs were in control of BH when GEJ came in and how many did he lose to them when he was going?

If nobody is blaming your GEJ, people like you would have started worshiping him despite sharing the arms money with his friends and sending bare hand soldiers to the warfront.



Won shi ma pe yin...ko ti kan yin.

Wait for your time bro. Dasuki is warming up to mention your name.

Wait o...

You mean he's trying to blow an area up with all these devices?!!!

These guys are brutal sha.

Show hom no mercy abeg.

At this rate, you will be looking for opportunity to date God just to be on top of the world.

Iranu!

Estharfabian:
No! it's triangular!

I know some flat ass tho.

I'd like to see d triangular ass.

Estharfabian:
Thanks!

For the records, My Ass isn't Black...It's just An expression I slearnt from "Cookie" in The series movie "Empire"..

But is it round?

This is one of d disadvages of 'No Sexxx b4 Marriage'

You can say sex before marriage is a sin, now tell me if divorce after marriage is not a sin.

If your church discourages it, they should as well discourage courtship. What are u courting for?

All these could have been avoided. He probably could have settled for a sister with little or no libido. And you with a longer lasting brother. Everybody is happy.

We'll, the solution is to act like his wife and not a slave. Let him know that you are already considering divorce all because of his unwillingness to see a doctor.

Also, both of you should talk about it and agree on the way forward. Premature ejaculation is psychological in most cases. He might last longer with another woman.

Consider these tips. They might help

Long fore play before sex. (Many women do not even want to kiss their husband not to talk of romance)

Be free with each other.

Let him take charge (men who last in bed tend to feel like superstar. It works the other way too. i.e if he feels like a pro, he might last)

Stop harassing him for sex.

Don't have sex when he's bloated or too tired.

If his sexual fantasy is in plumpy ladies, and you are plump, my sister....slim down!

You need to be adventurous. Suck him! Dick, breast, ear, everywhere... let him explore you too.

If you dey do born again sex...Sister you go Tey for there o.

Most importantly, he should desist from porn watching. ( most ppl will deny this. But they secretly do it). Inasmuch as it will make him gain skills, the thought of it will make him come faster than husain bolt.

Meanwhile,

There are ways to make ur spouse(and other ppl generally) conform to your request.

If you are doing it like giving orders. Sister you go tey for there.

Sit him down and make him see d benefits. Also emphasize that God is not against seeing a doctor and satisfying one's wife sexually.

However,
Apply caution o. Some men will see you as pevert or wayward.

Just let him know that marriage is about openess and having the right conversations from time to time.

After all, na only two of una sabi una secrets.

I hope it'll help.

Paulpaulpaul:
What about:

Gwarara water fall Niger?

Kainji lake, New Bussa, Niger?

Iyamopo rock Igbeti, Oyo?

Oya you sef post the pictures

This got me laughing.

Have you seen this movie...The Revenge of The Scorpion King

Shey na Orijin bottle dem use?

Y would you want to shout Orijin?!!!

Abayor7:
Stop Sebe
Ojo - Police
Irin Tutu - Gun
Olosho- Prostitute
Karishika - olosho
Ilefo
Igara
Buate
Waso....abbreviation for Wazobia. That's the
street name for #50.
White..... #50
Shandy... #20
Faiba--#5
Shandy-#20
White-#50
Awo-#100
Oloye-#1000.

LASTMA.
I'm not going to tell you the meaning. Just
mess with any LASTMA official, then you'll
know the meaning. If you're a bus driver
(even in proxima potency), you should take
note of this; to avoid stories that touch the
pocket.


Aaaaaaah!!!
When you are in a heated arguement with
another Lagosian especially conductors or
those agberos and it looks very likely that
a physical fight is on the way, just shout
the word 'Aaaaaaah!' 3 times and end with
by screaming the word 'Emi, emi, emi, wa
ku leni!'
Say this and you would immediately notice
a look of panic on the other guy's face.

Faiba is #10
Karla is #5

These are just ajebutter slang.

How about:

Olosho - prostitute
Mayee - scam victim
Igboro - Street wise
You get skushi for head -madness
Shoro niyen - it doesn't make sense
Ororo - spirit

EgusiSoup:
FIRST TO COMMENT.

is this the APC change we needing? How does we knows that this is not a comprehended conspiracy by the burantashi drunk dullard kunu pampers wearing osogbo weed that the Senate not November high rise APC e-diots youths not make ministerial list

With these few points of mine,
I hope I've been able to confuse you but not convince you.

On that note, I am officially 15.

bluaero:


Trust me...this will be another "bow and go".
All Buhari's nominees will be ministers.
Saraki's CCT case will be dropped.
These guys are POLITICIANS and will definitely reach a compromise in their best interest.
Your interests (gullible APC and PDP zombies) aint shit.

Put your hopes in politicians at your own peril

I agree with you bro

I'm off to twitter to see what 'no bra' looks like

chukwudi44:
Burutai is busy posing with snakes and doing press-ups!! Buhari should resign asap!! What sort of incompetence is this? May the soul of the poor victims RIP amen!!

But uncle Jona did not resign when BH took over many communities and killed people in scores

Saint abi?

Don't worry, next time he'll pick Saint Janet of the Holy Bottles Cathedral.

Mugus!

What won't these frustrated naysayers complain about?

Today it's about appointment of notherners,
Tomorrow is about picking non-saints as ministers.

You know what...
Why not just die.

I'm still searching through the weeds to find the reptiles.

Stop wasting my time for questions you have obvious answers for.

You even had to create an account just because of this.

Okay my answer is this: buy d shoe, buy a gucci top to go with it then tell him not to worry about paying you back. You are doing it to reciprocate his love.

Iranu...abacha

This is the only situation where a thief will pray for police to arrive with speed of light