₦airaland Forum

cooldipo:
Pain in the butt....no a good position you are in..... He doesn't seem to belong to you or anybody yet.... Let him be....he is not ready to commit

Amakavula:
OP here is one bitter reality you should face :

"...Real desire can't be negotiated..."

If a lady loves you, she will risk everything to sleep with you. A lady who never puts sex on the table early or wants something before she does ( money, relationship , marriage or proof of loyalty ) is negoiating because she feels you aren't her worth.

you aren't ticking all the right boxes. A lady will have sex with her fantasy man before even considering relationship or marriage just to keep him. There was no negotiation that man ticked all the right box ( assertive , confidence and sexually directed )

she was only settling with you, thank goddess you broke up the engagement, ( poor guy two year! ) else all you need do in the future is to mess up once, and she will run back to the guy not minding that you forgave her first time. .

Virgohills:
Forgiveness is the greatest weapon for fidelity...forgive in the worst situation that partner will never try it again

temodent:
She’s really immature, a topic came up somewhere recently where somebody threw a question “what information can you share with your spouse” and people gave several answers one of which was “it depended on the level of maturity of the one you’re sharing the information”.

Your girl should have known how you’re going to react to such information and keep it to herself.

Honestly, no matter how genuine we think we are some information are better kept than shared because of the consequences of such shared information.

The question should always be if I share this piece of information would it bring healing or further cause a catastrophic disintegration.

Maturity is the key.

Yambee:
Never stick around a woman out of pity.

Just leave her.

DonMekino:
My question....
1. She willingly gave a man sex and then reported to you that she was violated?? Methinks if it was consensual sex, she would have his it from u, unless u found out yourself..
Assume the worst and take ur decision, lemme say its consensual, and she tells u it was...would u leave her
If u can't trust her again better leave her and suffer the consequences now instead of tomorrow u rub it on her face...

VanillaIce5:
u didn't know u were not ready when u dated her for that long abi but u know how to Bleep her for 7 years, she known u have nothing and she still stayed with u because of love

madridguy:
Marry her make una dey struggle together.

KanwuliaExtra:
Marriage is like politics.
If you want to be the King or Queen. . . .
You must be a STRONG DIPLOMAT.


No room for weakness!

MumD:
I was once there. Like Knawuli said, I took charge of my home, set boundaries and am still standing strong after 8yrs.

tripplephi:
all this link stories..... are not useful here. Because even if the stories are true the persons do not get to see it on NAIRALAND ..... they post their issues on your site then you come to NL and share it.....

SEE IF IT IS NOT HELPING THE PERSON THEN STOP SHARING STUFF LIKE THIS....
and dont dare sell the lame excuse of IT MIGHT HELP SOMEONE ELSE....

wonderfulperson:
NOTE: This advice is if you might be thinking of settling down with him

There is no problem loving an older man, but the problem lies loving an older man that would keep reminding you of the age difference in character. Him changing for only one week to please you tells you that altitude of his is his default character. If his altitude is draining you and you cant cope with it, then think twice, marriage cant change him. Is not all about i love him and can do anything for him, marriage is beyond that, you are still very young and can get someone that would treat you like a queen and till you get that i will advice you keep praying for that man. MARRIAGE HAS ENOUGH UPS AND DOWNS FOR YOU TO CARRY PREMEDITATED UPS AND DOWNS INTO IT

Offpoint:
I write when I see inspiration and she's.... yeah

Offpoint:
Hey Divay22, it's been long I mention you, cuz you've ignored most of it. I wanna let you know that you the first thing I think about in the morning and you the last when I go to bed.
Even though I stay in your business
You've always kept out of mine.
I wonder what's on your mind
Sometimes they say love is blind
Maybe that's why the first time I dotted your eye
You ain't see the sign.
Or maybe you did
Maybe you like being shoved.
you don't even know you're You are the ink to my paper
What my pen is to my pad
The moral, the very fiber
The whole substance to my inspiration
You are my reason for being
The meaning of my existence
You're fuel to my fire
You're my entire supply
Gas, the match and igniter.
Divay22 The only way that I am able
To stay so stable
Is you're the legs to my table
If you were to break I'd fall on my face
you're essential to me
You're the air I breathe
I believe if you ever leave me
I'd probably have no reason to be

you're sèun to my nairaland
you're lala to my snake
The Aisha to my buhari
The Off to my Point
You're the FCT to my BBQ
You are the word that I'm looking for when
I'm trying to describe how I feel inside
And the right one just won't come to my mind.
You're like the pillar that props me up
The beam that supports me
The wife who never divorced me.

I don't know why I am the Afonja to your ipob
The Tom to Jerry
now I'm going schizophrenic, I hope you read this and realize what you mean to me and what you're doing today me.....

I gotta writing now... I'm losing my mind

chiommy123:
@ no.3 may not necessarily mean she's desperate. @ no. 2 once bride price has been paid and date fixed for the wedding. No. 1 nothing wrong just support whether he's too able and capable remember you guys are one now BTW what is so special about weddings

freedomchild:
I'll say that the guy is taking advantage of your desperation to marry. Ladies are usually selfish when it comes to marital issues.

A guy was interested in dating you which could lead to serious relationship and possibly, marriage, all you did was to tell him YOUR PERSONAL selfish want in a relationship that was then yet to start... Why not you wait and build the relationship for a little time first before bringing in those marriage ish? If not that marriage favours the female folks the more, most of them can never marry. If you want to chop a Nigerian girl, carry marriage come.

We should learn to build relationships because marriage to men is not a child's play, but to women, it's a beautiful fantasy they want.