₦airaland Forum

insecurity and it usually give room to the devil to take advantage of your fears

chiommy123:
but why is it that most men don't want their wives to work? calm her down and tell her that she will work and get tired by the time they owe her 3months salaries she will know how far.

Good Evening Admin,

I read your articles on Facebook and I was impressed by your response as well as your readers response to helping people with their problems. Well done,you people are doing a good job. This made me decide to write you about my problem.

My problem is that my wife left me with my three children since February this year. We have been married for almost eleven years. In fact, this coming October will make it eleven years. I met my wife when she was in school and I helped train her until final year when we got married.

By God’s grace,I am doing ok so I told her to stay at home and raise our children and she did that until we had all three children. My eldest child is now 10 years old.Two years ago,when my first daughter was 8 years,my wife told me that she would like to start working. Our last born was four years old. I did not like the idea but just to make her happy,I agreed.

One of my contacts helped her get a job as a P.A to one lawyer. My wife read law too. This lawyer is a divorcee. My wife worked there for like one year before she stopped working because the woman was not paying her salary on time. I then told her to wait a while to look for a better job but my wife became restless. Every day she would be complaining that she needs a job. That I am not doing enough to help her find a job.

To be honest,that was the beginning of our problems. She had tasted work life and to her,it means her freedom. She wanted to be seen as a.....more


https://livelystones.com.ng/my-wifes-attitude-changed-after-working-for-a-few-months/

Dear Jzhane,

I am a pained woman of 37 years old. I was happily married for four years to a wonderful man. God blessed us with twins,two lovely girls. I adored my husband and so did he but things were very tough for us. We were having financial issues right from the start. It was these financial issues that made my family refuse to allow me marry him initially.

I met Ayoola in my 200 level in the university. We attended the same fellowship and we were friend until final year when we started dating. He was good and kind to me. We both had big dreams but since we left school,it looks like those dreams never materialized.

I got a job after school as a Teacher and like you know,that does not pay much. After waiting for two years without a job,my husband decided to go into business of selling clothes,used clothes. That was what we were doing when we newly got married.

After I had my twins.my husband mother fell sick and she was brought to come and live with us as my husband is her eldest son. We spent all our money taking care of her and living with her and taking care of her was very frustrating,even though we didn’t have much. This brought about a lot of quarrels between me and my husband. We didn’t have much and taking care of his mon sucked a lot of money and the air from us.

Our problems continued until I couldn’t stand having his mother around. The mother too didn’t help matters. She would.....more


https://livelystones.com.ng/my-marriage-hit-a-very-rough-patch-but-i-want-him-back/

That is a dicey situation dear

Restroom:
I'm taking your story with a pinch of salt!

And if, just if the story is true, what makes out think he does not know, some1 else got you pregnant?

Dear Jzhane,

I thought I had an amazing life. Amazing wife and family. I have been married for 12 years and I have three children. My wife is an inspiration. She is strong and caring and very understanding. Or so I thought. I am an ardent reader of your blog and I read an article you wrote about being a strong woman. This prompted me to write my story and seek your help.

Like I said,I have an amazing wife. I always thought that I was providing for her and the children and hence everything was cool. I admit that she did try to talk to me a few times over the last few years but I was really busy trying to build a business so our family can have a legacy. So that we will not have to work for other people the rest of our lives.

When we got married,we were both working until she had to stop to look after the kids. I also worked until I ventured into my own business. Over the last four years,I have been trying to build the business. You know with start up business,one has to devote time and effort and resources to ensure it succeeds. That’s what I have been doing these past few years.

I wont lie,it has not been easy but me and my wife talked about it. We agreed to make certain sacrifices for our business to be stable. This meant that I traveled a lot and most times I was not home. Maybe I really got carried away but I never thought my wife didn’t understand…she tried to communicate a few times that she needed me more at home but I told her that we needed to make our business grow first. I am ambitious and I am very dedicated to making this work.

So I was really surprised.....more



https://livelystones.com.ng/my-wife-wants-to-leave-is-it-my-fault-or-is-she-hiding-something/

May God help us all, just too many.....

Dear Jzhane,


Please see email from a friend of mine who needs help. Kindly post so he can sample advice from our readers.
The email:
So I met this girl a while back, and we began dating. After work one day, it started raining heavily and it was cold too. So I escorted her to her junction close to her house. When we got to her place, she invited me to come inside and spend the night but I said No, she pleaded and I had to accept.
I went back to my place,eat and came back to hers. Later that night I touched her but she resisted me, I persisted and made another move again and this time she didn’t say anything. So we had s*x. She didn’t want me to come inside her but unfortunately I did. She went to the bathroom after and washed herself. She began to cry all through the night. After this incident,she broke up with me.
I was heartbroken and did everything to beg her. She initially refused but after a colleague of mine helped me to beg her,she later forgave me and we went back to dating. But I noticed she was.....more



https://livelystones.com.ng/she-had-an-abortion-without-my-consent-but-i-still-love-her/

Hello Jzhane,

My name is Kelvin and I need your advice on what to do with my marriage. My sister and I are live in New York. We work here after we graduated from university here. My sister,Chloe has a friend from Nigeria also. They became friends in University here. I actually met Chloe and liked her instantly. Through my sister,I dated Chloe for a year and half before I proposed and we got married.

My sister’s friendship with Chloe made it easy for my family to accept my wife. I mean,she is everyone’s darling in my family. Sometimes I get jealous of how much my family loves Chloe. And Chloe is an amazing wife and mother to our almost one year old son. I could say life is good and I am not complaining until now.

I had reason to travel to Nigeria for three weeks and I was happy when my wife said my sister would be coming over to keep her company. She would also need her help with my son since we don’t have a nanny. I love my wife and I trust her to death. I finished my trip in Nigeria and I wanted to surprise my wife cos I had missed her so much. I purposely gave her my return date a day later. She didn’t know I was coming in a day earlier.

When I landed in New York,I went home to my apartment and bought flowers on my way. I had missed my wife so much I couldn’t wait to have some action that night so I bought flowers to set the mood. I got home and noticed.....more


https://livelystones.com.ng/my-wife-and-my-sisters-fantasy-is-threatening-our-marriage/

As far back as I know,I have always been plumy. I got big bones and I got used to being got the fatty and all kinds of names kids used to bully me when I was growing up. I developed low self esteem because of this. Even my family members teased the heck out of me.

As I got older,maybe in the university,I began to use the mockery I got for being fat to be funny and make jokes about myself. Some how that seemed to work and I felt a little better that I was already mocking myself before other people even had the chance to mock me. But being fat was unattractive to guys. They were cool with sleeping with me but they didn’t want to be seen with me as their girlfriends.

I work in the media industry and I get to meet a lot of artists and that is how I met Jude,he is a promoter and has been divorced. he was also very broke.I think he married me because of the opportunities he could get through me: you know,connection in the industry and of course,I was more financially buoyant.

Did I care,not really? I was 36 and its not like I was getting suitors whom I could choose from. Jude is not a bad guy either but I knew we were not together for strictly love. I knew he had side chicks. I mean,even on our wedding night,I know he hung out with someone.I didn’t care. I was married and not going to die alone. I would have a child legally too from this marriage.

However,our challenge started when Jude stopped touching me like four months after the marriage. He said he was not into me. In order words,he was not attracted to me s*xually. He would touch me like once in a month and it would be two sloppy seconds!.I was unhappy cos it would be hard to get pregnant this way. Even when I try to let him know I am ovulating so we could try,he would say he was tired.

This continued for......more



https://livelystones.com.ng/my-husband-is-ashamed-of-me-but-i-got-what-i-wanted/

Lol!

Hello Jzhane,

Happy Weekend. Please help me decide this matter abeg.

So my friend and paddy whom I have known a very long time was dating this girl. They dated for like two years and I think they were actually planning on getting married,they looked so serious. But boom,they broke up.

Initially,my guy refused to tell me why they broke up but eventually,he said he caught her cheating with her boss. Obviously,this girl was sleeping with her boss who has being giving her huge monies. The babe was always wearing expensive stuff and talking about how she always got a raise from work for her hard work.

Well,eventually,it was exposed that the girl was sleeping with her boss who is even a married man. There were also rumors that this babe runs around with rich married men on the Island.

So you can imagine my surprise when My cousin in SA came visited in March and introduced me to his babe whom he met.......more



https://livelystones.com.ng/first-my-buddynow-my-cousinis-this-babe-a-runs-babe/

Dear Jzhane,

Please help me cos I am living in a nightmare and I don’t know how I am going to wake up from it. Hide my ID please.

I met Soji three years ago. He was the nicest guy. We met in church and admired each other as friends for a couple of months before we started dating. He was easy to talk to. He was kind and a good christian. Before long,we told our pastor that we wanted to get married and we were engaged after that.

Before I met Soji,I was in a relationship with someone while I was in Bauchi,that was shortly after my service year. The relationship broke up cos the guy was always pestering e for s*x until I couldn’t hold back the pressure so I gave in. I told myself that I didn’t want to loose him. But that experience left a scar on my me forever. It was horrible. It was my first time at age 27 and I was in so much pain and I bled for almost two days. I broke up with the guy and I promised never to have s*x again until I get married.

Soji agreed to the no s*x before marriage and that was it. We got married a year and half later and that was when I knew I had a bigger problem. My first experience with s*x made me so scared of it that I couldn’t have se properly with my husband,Soji. Right from our wedding night,I was so scared and in pains and I cried all through. It actually made me loathe s*x. Soji began to complain and he was so disappointed. He loved me so much but every time it was time for s*x it was like hell for us.

I just couldn’t get myself to like it. I tried and tried. I read books and all but I was darn so scared. It dawned on me that I had become traumatized by my first experience and as such,I was afraid of the idea of s*x. My husband didn’t understand me and we quarreled about this all the time. He accused me of being unfair and said I deceived him to marry me. I tried to explain to him my fears but he just said I should get over it. That hurt me more and pushed me away more and more.

I knew our marriage needed help but I didn’t know who to go to. I had told my pastor and .....



https://livelystones.com.ng/how-my-first-time-experience-ruined-me-marriage/

Absolutely!

Bluezy13:
The man was not matured enough to get married. Maturity in marriage implies that one has to limit or stop the things one used to do since one's partner's feelings is at stake and responsibility demands that too. He is still not mature enough because he is not willing to change.
And he is even bold enough to add that his mother never really liked his wife and has been advising him to get another wife. How does he expect they wife to feel reading this part??

The woman woman brought it upon herself by allowing feelings becloud her sense of reasoning in the name of God say, God did not say. She saw the signs but followed the detects of her emotion.

The mother in-law did wrong by not being mature. She was supposed to call the respective families attention and table the matter between them, let the two families decide for the confused couple since the couple cannot solve themselves.

Conclusion:
There can never be peace in that family as long as the man refuses to be mature and be responsible as a married man...putting his wife's feeling first. That's a sacrifice he ought to make.
He is the problem and the solution!
If he can't change for his family to survive, everybody should answer everybody's surname.

hmmnnnn

Good day Mrs Jzhane,

I am a 32 year old woman and I need advice and help on what to do. My life was fine until three weeks ago when everything came crumbling down.

I met Segun four years ago on my way to Akure. He was sitting in the bus beside me. We chatted all through the journey and he took my phone number after we alighted. He later traced me to my parents house where I came for a wedding and we began a relationship after that.

Segun told me that he is 39 years old and he is single. He said he was engaged to someone but the person cheated on him and since then,he has not really found anyone to settle down with. Me and Segun clicked very fast. In less than nine months of dating,we were already very in love,he proposed and I agreed to marry him.

Segun and his people came to my place for introduction ...see more


https://livelystones.com.ng/he-told-me-several-stories-anytime-i-wanted-to-meet-his-mother/

You can't rule out the possibility gentleman

Good evening Admin,

Please hide my ID. I am a young man of 39 years old. I am married, a father of three kids. About seven years ago,while I was dating my wife,we broke up briefly for like four months. During that time,I got a contract job in Ibadan so I moved from Lagos to Ibadan.

There was a pretty woman who was working with the company I was doing the contract for. It was a building contract as I am a building engineer. We were building a huge estate that would house a mall and other facilities. This lade,lets call her Pere, (she is from Niger delta)..she took a liking to me. We became quite close. I mean,people thought I was a charmer back then. And she was quite fine and real s*xy.

Pere and I had a fling during the time. It was cool at the time. She was the type who didn’t like to use condom and I happily obliged her cos that the real deal. What I tried to do however was try to pull out every time,Pere didn’t like it but I was not ready to be a father at the time.And just like I feared,this babe came to me like three months later to say that she was pregnant. And On top of it,she made a shocking confession that she is....see more




https://livelystones.com.ng/could-i-be-the-father-of-a-married-womans-daughter/

:ohmnnnn

acosfd:
Gay dey get belle?

Lol!

IamFreedom:
Run your race !!

Love is everything

rebirthforgoody:
If thoroughly the guy loves you nne better accept the proposal simple

Bankole and I were first best friends from school. It was such an amazing relationship. It was the happiest I was ever. We kissed when he came to see me in my hostel one day and that was how we began to date. Bankole,a basket ball player and myself, a football player had our lives set before us.

We got signed on professional clubs after school and we got too busy,we couldn't keep up with our busy schedules. Our career was going very well. Eventually,we broke up. Not formally but the constant distance made it difficult and we drifted apart. I don't think we actually believed we we over but it was normal for athletes to have people around and date either casually or otherwise.

We kept in touch once in a while so I knew Bankole was in a relationship with an actress. I felt jealous every time I saw pictures of them on social media but I tried to put it behind me. When Banokole told me they were engaged,I pretended to be happy for him but I was so down with hurt and....more




https://livelystones.com.ng/i-feel-so-horrible-that-i-am-in-love-with-my-soul-mate/

ma'am getting married is no do or die affair.

Dear Mrs Jzhane,

This one is about my friend o. Please help me advice her cos I have been talking to her but she has refused to listen. I don’t know if she is under a spell or she is just so desperate.

Ajoke met Dany in 2012. At that time,he was separating from his wife when they met. Dany has a four year old son from his wife. He and my friend Ajoke started dating. A year later,Dany proposed to Ajoke. Everyone was very happy. Ajoke was 37 years at that time,yes a late bloomer. But the issue was that,even with the engagement,Dany had not yet finalized his divorce with his wife.

I mean,they have done introduction and Ajoke wears an engagement ring but the divorce is not finalized. The reason,very flimsy: Dany says he does not want the divorce to affect his son!Can you imagine that? So he and Ajoke were like that until Ajoke even moved into his house cos her parents refused for the wedding to take place cos the man had not yet divorced his wife. On top of that,this man was cheating on Ajoke with several girls. She didn’t believe it until she read his text messages. That was after three years of living with this man as a fiancee not a wife o.

This made her......more


https://livelystones.com.ng/my-friend-is-stuck-with-a-man-who-is-deceiving-herplease-help/

Two minutes noodles, pancakes of 5 mins, Pressure cooker to boil the rice faster. Emails to send messages in real time or secs apart. That is the generation I am in. And this bags the question of, with this fast paced technology at my disposal, equipment that my parents and grand parents didn’t have, why does it look like they have and lived a better life than what we have now.
Our childhood memories are exactly that memories. The little games that made us children are almost extinct. My nephew will not take his eyes off jimjam and my niece will not stop watching Sopia the first and Lions guard.
I remember ......more



https://livelystones.com.ng/the-instant-noodles-generation-this-weeks-musing-by-agie/

Join the train as its fast moving

Yeah

HouseOfWine:
Stepped On The Wrong Thread...