₦airaland Forum

Good day Admin,

I used to be a good girl but now,I am not. I used to abhor people who get involved in extra marital affairs but right now,I don’t care. All I want now is to be happy. I don’t care if it makes another person unhappy but I deserve happiness cos I have been through so much unhappiness that I know that this happiness that I now feel is not illegal.

I am not promoting infidelity but hear my story before you judge me. I left school about 11 years ago and I have been in a couple of relationships. One lasted 4 years and ended without marriage. All these while,I was a good girl. The best girlfriend any man can have. I cooked and cleaned and was homely but he dumped me all the same.

So my next relationship,I decided to be careful. I didn’t cook or clean or have s*x but he still left after a year. So,my last relationship,I was just myself. I decided to enjoy life. I was doing everything I wanted for myself. We were together for almost five years. I was happy when he finally proposed after four years of dating. We planned our wedding for another one year.

And then.......see more




https://livelystones.com.ng/to-the-men-who-played-games-with-my-hearti-dont-care/#comment-2851

hmnn

prayer & couseling best option now babe

Hello Admin,

My younger sister needs your advice.She met this man four years ago. They were friends before for like a year before they started dating. He is a pretty stand up guy. Treats her well and my family has come to accept him finally.

Precisely in July,they had their wedding introduction at our family house in Oyo. All went well and since then,they have been planning their wedding for before the end of this year.

When they both met,they agreed not to have s*x until after marriage. However,my sister just found out last Saturday that this man whom she adores and treats her like a queen and agreed to wait until after marriage for s*x has.....see more


https://livelystones.com.ng/no-sx-before-marriage-but-she-wants-to-call-off-the-wedding-now/

Good Morning Livelystones,

Please don’t judge me. I need mature advice on my issue. I have been struggling and looking for somebody I can confide in. As I was browsing on facebook last week,I came across your page. I have been reading the stories of people that you write about and how many people respond or give advice.

I am a 42 years old woman. I got married to my first husband when I was very young. Because of lack of maturity,I got divorced at age 28. The marriage was just two years old. We had issues alot but he was a very good lover.I got married to my husband now at the age of 32. And now,I have three children.

My problem now is that,about a year ago,I traveled to my home town for a burial. It was a burial ceremony of a close family friend who my ex husband also knew. During the wake keep,there was a lot...see more




https://livelystones.com.ng/never-really-divorced-my-ex-12-years-afteri-still-crave-him/

Hello Admin,

My younger sister needs your advice.She met this man four years ago. They were friends before for like a year before they started dating. He is a pretty stand up guy. Treats her well and my family has come to accept him finally.

Precisely in July,they had their wedding introduction at our family house in Oyo. All went well and since then,they have been planning their wedding for before the end of this year.

When they both met,they agreed not to have s*x until after marriage. However,my sister just found out last Saturday that this man whom she adores and treats her like a queen and agreed to wait until after marriage for s*x has.....see more


https://livelystones.com.ng/no-sx-before-marriage-but-she-wants-to-call-off-the-wedding-now/

so sympathetic!

zinnydan:
Sympathetic

Good day Jzhane,

I am a mess. A horrible one and a liar too. I need your help before I loose the most important thing in my life: that is,my fiance. When I met Steven,it was too good to be true. I mean,all my adult life,all the guys I ever met all wanted me for my body but Steven is an intellectual who wanted nothing but to love me.

And I screwed up big time. We met almost two years ago. On a flight to Dubai. He is a business Consultant. We met up in Dubai during our trip. He was so nice to me and later made his intentions known to me. He wanted to date me. I was cool with that. We dated and for over two months,he never tried to kiss me or anything. I was the first to kiss him. He was such a gentleman.

With sx,he didnt even try to make moves on me. I asked him why. He said,relationships should not be about sx. He said he was cool without it. I thought he was gay for saying that. That made me not to take him seriously. I admit that was stupid of me. But I have never seen a guy who didn’t want my body. This made me see other guys even while I was dating Steven.

That has been me since I have been with Steven. He may not be giving it to me but I was getting it else where. Me,I thought Steven was a fraud…always nice never demanding anything in return. Well, Steven asked me to marry him last month. That was when I knew he was serious about me. I made up my mind to take him serious too. I ditched other guys and focused on him.

And then,I found out.....see more



https://livelystones.com.ng/being-a-slay-queen-is-stupid-i-put-my-engagement-at-risk/

Hello Livelystones,

My name is Mabel. My mother,is a Ghanaian who came to America when she was 32 years old. She married my father,an American who was 55 at that time.This would be my father’s second marriage and my mother’s first. My dad is a former member of the American peace corps who loved to travel the world too.My father is 74 years old today and has a failing health.

I have a younger sister who is just four years old. People used to credit my dad for having a baby when he was 70 years old.I am 19 years old so my baby sister is like 15 years younger than me.Its cute,I love her and we all do. My dad wanted me to learn about my mother’s culture and decided that I would go to University in Ghana. This was against my mother’s wish.

I started schooling in Ghana three years ago and I am in my finals. Through my my cousin who is in Ghana,I met a young man whom I fell in love with. Kosi and I met and fell in love. We have been dating since January this year. I couldn’t wait to introduce him to my family and this summer,we both traveled to the US to meet my parents. My father was thrilled and impressed by how cool Kosi was as young man.

My mother on the other .....see more



https://livelystones.com.ng/my-mother-is-a-btch-she-betrayed-my-father-wants-to-control-me/

Breaking! Wedding Invite For CSO Sharon Oyakhilome and Her Fiance



https://livelystones.com.ng/breaking-wedding-invite-for-cso-sharon-oyakhilome-and-her-fiance/

Hmnnn

hmnnnn

ClixMaster:
So what happened?

Taking care of yourself and conquering your people-pleasing ways doesn’t give you license to stop caring about other people’s feelings — especially your partner’s.

This article first appeared on SHE’SAID’ and has been republished with permission.

Someone once told me she was born knowing exactly who she was, and she’d never had a problem being herself. She said if there was anyone in the world who had a problem with her, that was their issue, not hers. I remember thinking that I’d never been less able to relate to anyone in my life.

As far back as I can remember, I’ve been trying to figure out what people want from me, and then doing my best to give it to them. I grew up not knowing who I was, outside of who people told me I was: the perfect daughter my mother always dreamed of, the bratty little sister who made my brother’s life miserable, the straight-A student, the good mom.

The idea of someone not liking me, or thinking I wasn’t a good person, always filled me with panic and shame.

But what was a “good” person, anyway? As far as I could see, it seemed to entail always putting other people first, never speaking up for yourself, and apologizing a lot.

It’s still hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that there are people in this world who are so sure of themselves, they don’t care what other people think of them. I’ve spent my life trying to....see more


https://livelystones.com.ng/is-your-people-pleasing-personality-killing-your-relationship/

Good day Jzhane,

I am a mess. A horrible one and a liar too. I need your help before I loose the most important thing in my life: that is,my fiance. When I met Steven,it was too good to be true. I mean,all my adult life,all the guys I ever met all wanted me for my body but Steven is an intellectual who wanted nothing but to love me.

And I screwed up big time. We met almost two years ago. On a flight to Dubai. He is a business Consultant. We met up in Dubai during our trip. He was so nice to me and later made his intentions known to me. He wanted to date me. I was cool with that. We dated and for over two months,he never tried to kiss me or anything. I was the first to kiss him. He was such a gentleman.

With s*x,he didnt even try to make moves on me. I asked him why. He said,relationships should not be about s*x. He said he was cool without it. I thought he was gay for saying that. That made me not to take him seriously. I admit that was stupid of me. But I have never seen a.... See more



https://livelystones.com.ng/god-please-save-my-soul-i-betrayed-my-best-friend-my-family/

hmnnn

ExpiredNigeria:
Become a bad guy too.. It works like magic, they are naughty in nature.. Scold her sometimes and bone face sometimes like you didn't notice her when she needs your attention but, surprise her sometimes as well.. Sometimes you need to form that you're too busy even if you're less busy.

Spot busying her call simply to call her back, pick the call and talk on her credit. Etc. Just form hard guy it works but, truly I don't know the reason they love me being a buy guy and I choose to be a buy guy for the game..

Good day Admin.

I am a 38 years old woman. I got married to my husband when I was 36. I was not really into marriage. So I was not the desperate type. Even when my family,friends,everyone was pestering me about marriage,I didn’t care cos I was happy,living my life,happy and fulfilled.

By God’s grace,I am an accomplished woman. I have a thriving career. I have a house of my own and I have a masters while I am pursuing my PHD. I gave in to marriage when I met my husband through a friend that set up the match making. My husband,let us call him John,was and still is,a real estate developer. He is a divorcee but he doesn’t have any child from his ex wife.

I grew to like him and when he proposed,I agreed to marry him. Unfortunately,I didn’t get to meet his people until our marriage ceremonies. Both of us are adults and we didn’t think it was a big deal. John is over 40 years. But soon after my wedding,my mother in-law began to show herself. It was obvious that she didn’t like me. This makes me even suspect that she was the reason behind the first marriage crashing. Even though my husband said,it crashed cos they realized that they were not compatible. They quarreled a lot until they divorced.

Well, this woman came to visit us shortly after our marriage and refused to leave even after one month. I didn’t mind but for her constant nagging. She complains that I am not a homely wife. That I love my career more than my home. She would curse me and call me names. I was horrified but I tried to keep my cool. When I told my husband,he brushed it aside and asked me to be the bigger person by ignoring the mother.

Eventually she left but ....see more


https://livelystones.com.ng/why-i-do-not-want-to-have-babies-after-two-years-of-marriage/

Hmnnn

Guyz are wonderful beings

May not be absolutely true

NwaGodl1000:
You sounds more desperate as the guy is Americana and his family may not be wrong in their findings

:hmnnn so deep

efficiencie:
You are good in what sense!? No man is good. The reason you do good deeds is because of the good GOD THE HOLY SPIRIT working through you...as for your plight, I can guess you are one of those who do not hear from GOD before making a decision - and in this case a decision to marry a person. You did not marry by faith, rather you married by sight. Because if you did marry by faith, you will be warned by the LORD but if you married by sight like most ladies do you will never escape stories that touch. Faith comes by hearing from GOD, so my question to you is: DO YOU HEAR FROM THE LORD YOUR GOD JESUS CHRIST THROUGH THE HOLY SPIRIT? . I guess the answer to that question is no. In addition, you mentioned growing up with a single parent. I smell a generational curse in your household. This is what makes offspring inevitably repeat the same horrid cycle their ancestors or parents started. You have a battle to fight and win else the cycle will go on and on. Now is the time for you to engage THE SPIRIT, THE WORD and THE BLOOD OF JESUS in battle with the forces and altars sponsoring and keeping the generational curse alive in your lineage. That you are Christian does not mean you will automatically win battles. Switches don't flip themselves automatically, people do so unless you go on your knees and battle in the place of prayer not only will you live the rest of your life a marital failure, you will most definitely pass this generational curse on to your offspring and from them to their offspring till the end of time!

I agree to an extent, but not all are the same

Headlesschicken:
When they start getting older a n!gga now becomes a brother no longer that guy, life humbles all at some stage... Get married while d men are flocking u ain't gold,n!ggas get tired at some point...

Hello dear, let not be like that. No woman prays to be unmarried till 40 years old

ajibolabd:
grandma go and write your wish list

Hmnnn

LuciferCristi:
40 years on earth & still unmarried?

Is this not pocohantas?

Dear Jzhane,

Yesterday,I read a story on your blog about a woman who’s wedding was cancelled a few days to her wedding date. I read all the comments too and I must say,I learnt so much from the responses. It also gave me so much comfort as I am also a victim. I have decided to share my story as well,maybe someone else will be comforted knowing they are not alone.

Last year,I clocked 40 years old. It was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. I had met someone,a very dear and committed brother in our church and a year before,around my 39th birthday, he met me in church. He approached me and told me God said to him that I was his wife. Before then,I had been praying and believing God to get married,at least before the age of 40.

I couldn’t believe my good fortune. That God sent me a good man for marriage before my 40th. I had been seeing this guy in church before then but I always thought he was either married or engaged. Our church is a very big parish. He had been attending the church like two years before. But I didn’t know him personally though.

When he met me and told me God said I was his wife,I informed my pastor. Our pastors counselled us and approved the marriage. We courted for almost four to five months and he gave me an engagement ring. I was so happy. We planned that our wedding would be on my .....see more


https://livelystones.com.ng/another-woman-dumped-before-wedding-dayis-she-too-desperate/

If you don't believe this you never believe anything

Earthbound:
I'm pretty sure when you were dating, you saw and ignored all the signs.

Talk to him and hear him out. We all make mistakes. You should make all your decisions putting your child first.

The truth is that he still loves you as do you, him. Show that you're a strong woman and be with him.

You see a deja vu from your mother's experience. You have the power to change that. Heal with him no matter how difficult it seems.

Have an intervention for the husband and have everyone speak so you understand what you're dealing with.


You will heal. Would you rather heal in pain and regret or with your husband and child in complete understanding. Everything works out for good if we make the right decisions.

You are a winner dear

To me she dudged abullet, go for thanks giving.

ziddy:
She should thank her stars she did not marry into such a terrible family. They all lack the milk of human-kindness.

I Was A Good Girl But Why Did God Allow This To Happen To Me?


https://livelystones.com.ng/i-was-a-good-girl-but-why-did-god-allow-this-to-happen-to-me/

God delivered you ma see below:


.My Wife Is A Wicked Woman,She Denies Me My Right As Her Husband


https://livelystones.com.ng/my-wife-is-a-wicked-womanshe-denies-me-my-right-as-her-husband/

chiommy123:
You should be thanking God

Dear Jzhane,

Please hide my ID.

I am very hurt. My wedding was supposed to take place last Saturday but it was called off without any explanation.

I met my man through my mother’s friend based aboard three years ago. We had our marriage introduction 2016 and we planned the wedding for April 2017 but sister was like we should postpone it reason is that for the brother to come down to Nigeria that the UK embassy don’t take absent of a spouse because they wanted to do it in his absent.

He begged me to wait that I should please bear with him it was not easy for me because already I have told people about my wedding and the date.

My ex has four sisters and they are kind of very close so involved them in everything he wants to do which I don’t have problem with that.His mum accepted me and me I love her took care of her like my mother even the sister who is out of marriage is staying with her mum with four children I love her too.

Fast forward to when the date was pick which is 25 of August that we started having issues.

It was his sisters that shopped for my wedding things which I complain that I don’t like the color ,they said the list I gave them was too expensive which is the hall and food ,I got a hall of #160 they got a hall of #300k near their house not even the bride side I never complain ,they said after the wedding I will stay with mother in law and sister which I said no due to distance and the nature of my work.

The worst of all that happened is that my ex was telling his sisters every thing we discussed both the argument and my chat he was forwarding it to them. His sister in Nigeria was telling them all manners of lies against me and they believed her.

They put pressure and fear on him not to marry me he has to call off the wedding after buying things for the wedding. He is around in Nigeria now and I try to see him but his family are refusing me seeing him because I don’t have his Nigeria ‘s no.

I was told that he said he love me but he scared based on what they told him. That I am not a wife material. That I will control him and drive him out because he stays in US.

My mother has been begging them but they refuse to listen.
He even blocked me since then. His cousin told me they already found another girl for him.

What do I do,I dated this guy for three years. I love him. I already have done introduction. Everybody knows I am supposed to be getting married. The scandal is killing my parents.If this guy still loves me,how do I win him back? He never gave a chance to explain myself. What did I do wrong?

Or should I really move on? After three years? Where do I start from?



https://livelystones.com.ng/after-planning-our-wedding-for-3-yearsthey-say-i-am-not-wife-material/

Bad things do happen to good people. If you understand this you are on your road to recovery