₦airaland Forum

Beehshorp:
Cant remember the name of the Nlander or the name of the thread so am going to give a brief summary and recap to refresh our memories....



The funniest thread so far should be given to that guy and his friends who went to enugu shoprite from onitsha dressed like wizkid and davido...lmao... I could recall dat during all dia selfies a man putting on yellow agbada was behind dem and d worst be say na only ribena #50 dem fit buy...


For the funniest comments i feel everybody on that thread dat made fp is freakingly funny



Happy new year in advance

bros gimme link to the thread pls.i wan check am out. thanks

stevealibi:
Met ma bae via 2go in flirt zone' but she keep telling me NO SEX TILL our weeding nyt

u mean oshogbo weed?if yes,u shd av waitd till dt time instd of u takin d weed dz nite,see d effct nw @bolded

skondo09:
So you are keeping us on hold??

sorry i'm through nw

skondo09:
So you are keeping us on hold??

sorry i'm throug nw

These are the ten types of people you will meet if you always watch football games and other sports at the viewing center.
1.The arguement crew : ds set of pple are there 2 argue anytn with u,dey will even lie,trst me u can neva win them oo e.g if they show c.ronaldo and sm1 say richest player in portugal,they will argue wt u dt nani is richer,ask them to prove dat,they will tell u it's because nani don't show off lyk ronaldo,ask dem d source of their info.they'll tell u dey saw it on portugalnews.com,na lie o,bt dem no go gree.

2 The kids:[/b]They're of two categories 1. maybe they av stolen their parent's money u'll see them paying for their frnds,eating different snacks during d match most of dm knws ntn abt ball,they jst watch for watchn sake. 2. They will only watch 5mins out of 90mins,they will be busy watchn d door entrance if they see any one that has breast(mummy) omo na to hide o,cos if their mum catch dm na die o,bkus they myt not do wat she ask em to do.

[b]3 the naija bet crew: they will be busy marking their ticket,dy only watch ten mins out 90,d remaining 80 na their ticket oo even afta d game,na to still be lukn at d ticket,let one team spoil their ticket,na to faint be dat.

4 the die hard fan crew u dare not bad mouth their team oo they will argue wit u to d end,they dnt jst argue lyk d arguement crew bt anytn abt their own team u can't beat them bkus they knw a lot abt their team.

5 *in wizkid's voice*mr lover man ds kinds of pple usually bring their girlfrnds wit them, kissing her weneva his team scores,buying her many tns so dt d girl wnt be bored.

6 the gentle type i belong to ds group,u won't knw d team they are supporting,they'll jst be gentle,if their team scored they myt not jubilate,they won't be agressive if they lose,if badmouth their club they wnt argue,they will jst be tnkn tns in their mind lyk,y wld he play lyk dt bt na 4 dm mind o

7 the peep crew. you see coming to d entrance tnkn they wanna pay and enter,no o na to luk at d scores and go back,if dm lock door,dm go peep tru holes, if there are no holes,they'll knock and tell u they are searchn 4 sm1,na lie o,na scores dm dy search 4.

8 the sarcastic crew: the people are there to make jest of other team,you will see them beating drums and singing jest songs,especially if man u or arsenal are playing and sm1 is making jest of dm trust me it is a chelsea fan,also barca and madrid make jest of dmslves. These pple smtimes goes bk home injured,cos they can step on sm1's nerves,especially if u make jest of some chelsea fans,na thugs full there.

9 the sport fanatic old man most of these crew are arsenal supporters or madrid,bks they startd watchn ball bck in d days,wen madrid won champs.league 5 consecutive times,wen arsenal playd unbeaten,they knw everytn abt all sport not football alone,they knw alot abt history,if any arguement abt history comes up they will call on them for confirmatn lyk google,u'll wonder maybe they are related to FIFA.

10lastly,the newscasters/rumour spreaders they will update u on what is gng on in the world of sport,they buy complete sport to get d news,buy arsenal focus,sporting life altogeda and they will be saying wht dy read there to u,both truth and lies,they can tell you ronaldo is going to barca nxt seasn dt he has signed an advance contract,or ferguson has made up his mind to coach eyimba. They can spread rumours like anytn.
Go to viewing centres 2moro,i bet u'll meet dm there. They make d place lively.

End time job seeker.

*singing doing just fine by boyz 2 men*

obiorathesubtle:
hehe. Any girl wey try that one no dy respect me. If she try am. She go see another colour of me that day. That's why you keep a handshake at the palm and don't extend it to the elbow

i think that's d best tn a man can do to such gals bt wld av bn better if they av d gut to say it to ur face bt for where? Na their mind such thought go dy go own.i respect dt decision bro.let them knw u're capable*throway hat for him*

obiorathesubtle:
*picks up mic* testing! Testing! Is this thing on??! Oh good! You can hear me


I read your thread and I read the caption of your thread. I answered the caption of your thread, not the body of your thread. Moreover, no girl can 'touch' my dick without me going down with her. But she can 'touch' by accident/unknowingly/without intention, when it is covered, behind the zipper of my trousers or shorts or whatever the fvck it is I'm putting on, because it's inevitable, mistakes happen. Therefore, I have nothing to do with her. It was a completely different situation.

I'm not dropping the mic this time around. Get your own mic

*picks up a wireless mic* hello tue tue,testing microphone 1,2. Ok gud,so in ma nigga in such mistake situation,how will you feel,dnt tell me it's everytime ur d**k is behind ur zip,atimes u myt jst wear only ur boxers and such sh!t will happn,though as a guy,it shld mean ntn bt ladies can be childish atimes,and they will be lyk so na ds small ds one even carry under, and he go dy gapa,even though na their mind them dy tnk am.*put mic on stand*

obiorathesubtle:
*picks up mic* how do I feel??


*singing* [size=20pt]I'M ON TOP OF THE WOOOOORLD IN FRONT OF THE CROOOOWD EEEEEEE OOOOO EEEEE OOOOHHH OOOH[/size]

*drops mic*

pls pick up d mic again,and tell us d joy in dat,does it mean u're gng to bang her,or is touching ur d**k an access to a rlatnshp with her? U're gettn it wrng ooo.

Freemanan:
Some people just dey blow lies here.... Chai....

my guy free them joor,u be lie detector

zaragal:
Dis reminds me wen I was very young and jst growing up, u knw puberty nah hyper sexual active any small tin body go tell u. Me and my first ever boyfriend small pikin love was together @ the back of my house and we were talking so along his demonstration his hand brushed my burst wow! Suddenly is seems like I lost my breathe for 2mins and breath heavily ...God! my brain enter default as I didn't understand wat he was saying any more I was jst uncomfortable and was feeling sleepy....we didn't talk abt it tho wen we were young...but now we are grown up and a parts he keeps talking abt it..dat dat chemistry btw us @ the back of the house dat turn my breathe away he would love to experience it...Wat a Stewpid fellow

LOL funny guy, as a guy two thing going on, on his li2 mind at that moment will be
good her b**bs is still hard,ds gal still be virgin or chai my hand really touchd dat b**bs,wow na enjoyment be dt,he go don tel his friends sef.bt u too u 4 don give him kpata kpata now,cos we guys hate brushing,and love grabbing

zaragal:
Dis reminds me wen I was very young and jst growing up, u knw puberty nah hyper sexual active any small tin body go tell u. Me and my first ever boyfriend small pikin love was together @ the back of my house and we were talking so along his demonstration his hand brushed my burst wow! Suddenly is seems like I lost my breathe for 2mins and breath heavily ...God! my brain enter default as I didn't understand wat he was saying any more I was jst uncomfortable and was feeling sleepy....we didn't talk abt it tho wen we were young...but now we are grown up and a parts he keeps talking abt it..dat dat chemistry btw us @ the back of the house dat turn my breathe away he would love to experience it...Wat a Stewpid fellow

LOL funny guy, as a guy two thing going on, on his li2 mind at that moment will be
good her b**bs is still hard,ds gal still be virgin or chai my hand really touchd dat b**bs,wow na enjoyment be dt,he go don tel his friends sef.bt u too u 4 don give him kpata kpata now,cos we guys hate flashing.

basbone:
There was this time in secondary school, we were doing a chemistry practical......and somehow, the acid we were using for titration started licking from the burete, so every body started to race out from the lab, so as we were rushing to a tiny door, we all compacted at the door, and i found my hand grasping the left side of ginika's breast, one of my classmates.......i didnt say sorry though i was ashamed, after that incidence, she picked interest in me............maybe she enjoyed that few seconds grasp, who knows

lol she wan giv u finish kpata kpata ni o

divinehand2003:
Exhilarated

for real? Not ur girlfriend o.it myt be a stranger or anybody else

Ds qstn goes 2 both sexes either male or female
how do you feel when your opposite sex's hand touch a place that's suppose to be priv8 in ur body? Do you feel embarrased?
Ds really happnd 2 me yestdai,i wore a jersey's short as an underwear 2 my work place,so when i came bck i just took off my trouser and stood outside my quarters chatting with my male friends. During the gist, a lady dat we are both workng at the same place that also lives in the quarter passedby and joined us,she stood in front of me, i didn't knw she was gng 2 swing her hand bckwrd 2 demonst8 what she was trying 2 say, all of a sudden her hand hit my d**k.she said sorry and continue talkn bt my d**k was still paining me.so anytym i rmember dat scenario i feel ashamed.
Ds happend few years back, i was at a viewing centre watching bayern vs chelsea champions league final,when robben scored 4 his team dt nyt i shooked my elbow backward 2 jubil8 & my elbow touch a girl's breast behind me, bt i pretended as if nothing happnd.
Over 2 u nlanders how do u feel ?

na wetin concern rick ross with shaving stick

Kirinwa:
I care. What gift did your uncle give you? My own uncles nah stingy dey worri dem.

k, ma uncle gave me dz rolex watch,it cost $6000 .

must you share that online? K my uncle also visited me from p.harcourt last week,he gave me a gift also,but wu cares

14teenK:
[quote author=bercarray[/bro u too much jor

abi na we must teach dm a lesson

zaralady:
Is bleeping something you should be proud of??

what is ds one sayn,so bng her maga is what i shd be proud of?

Jollyjoy:
I seriously dnt see anything wrong with that,at least to cut down some expenses....



Guys here are already terming gals gold diggers,shuoo funny thing is most of them dont even have stainless talkless of gold... Just a harmless question...ansa and stop terming them gold diggers.

dont say dt bae i av more than gold that's y i fear ladies

Jollyjoy:
shut up jare.....so easy i think....your post speak of frustration,so much venom...woman dump you?haba!!

ha ha iya yi, so dat one too wicked?

Jenny1010:
I know all this guilty conscious selfish guys will come here to attack me coupled with some low esteem girls.

How does asking your boyfriend how much he earns make you a local or hungry girl. What is the foundation of a relationship? isn't trust?. If you want a long lasting relationship, you have to open up on everything. You want a girl to tell you everything about herself, but you assume it an offence when she ask you how much you earn.

If you can't open up to your girl on how much you earn, then you have to ask yourself "what are you doing with her" , because clearly you don't trust her, except you just want to use and dump her.

so na bkus of trust now u dy ask? Ok o ma sweet potato,i dy earn 50,000 per month, do u now trust me?ha ha ha ha ha,i laff i spainish,op u are funny i swear

some artiste sha,God no go put wahala for their lyf,dm go dy stress dmsf,if any mistake happn nw and he is injured one way or d other we go dy pity him,why is he doing ds 4 God sake,u no be gangster,u no be police,no be gun u dy take sing,so y?if God tok say u go die,dat is surely inevitable,2pac wey get am sef still die,so y d stress?not hating on him though

most pop song na rubbish not all though,i be team r and b,
my own song plenty o
atlantic starr-always
new edition-i'm still in love with you
booooy 2 meeen!!!(love ds band die)-dream,make love 2 u,i'll get there,doing just fine,end of the road,infact all their song
r kelly-all
mariah carey ft boyz 2 men-one sweet day
sade adu-by your side
avant-4 minutes
paula abdul-rush.make i stop here pls

i read ds and i'm forced to thank my mum 4 keeping me.
Some ladies can be so wicked ehnn! Had it bn ds was bn done her, would she av grownup to enjoy all d gud tns of lyf she enjoyed,includn d sex.God knw wht cld av bkum d baby in future. Quote me that it myt not be d mum that dump 4t there o

boboLIL:
Illuminati kids ar always awarded....

u better shut up with dat illuminati tns,so south africa aka too don join them?pls think b4 postin sh*t

yes this really took place last nite,i read that p.diddy fell off stage and janet jackson was highly honoured.
Congrats to the winners o

absoluteSuccess:
I promise to faint the day I meet Dbanj.

*smirks* dbanj? Wetin dey im body wey go move u to dat extent?

One my favourite female artiste brandy norwood posted on her blog how much she misses micheal jackson and how she fainted the first day she met him and shared it on facebook.
When I was 17, my
producer at the time,
Rodney Jerkins was also
working with Michael
Jackson and he knew
how badly I wanted to
meet him. So he says,
’Would you like to come
and meet Michael?’ I’m
like, ’Are you serious?
Of course I want to
meet Michael Jackson!
Where do I meet you?'
So we go to the studio
and my heart is beating
so fast at this point,
I’m like, ’Oh my God. It’s
happening. We’re about
to open the door and
he’s going to be in
there.’ Me and my
brother Ray J walk in
and I’m looking at him
like, ’Oh my God. This is
Michael Jackson,’ and I
fainted, blacked out —
like seriously blacked
out!! (Who does that!?)
So they end up fanning
me and getting me
together and Michael
asks 'Brandy are you
okay?' and I'm like 'Oh
my God, he knows my
name!' He hugged me
and he was just so nice
and sweet and it was
something that I will
never EVER forget.
I love you Michael and I
miss you!!
www.thenextbrandyblog.com/i-miss-you-michael-?utm_content=buffer9b1f5&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer

These oyinbo people sef just dy make me laff,how u go faint on top say you meet person, e fit happen for naija? I doubt it.