₦airaland Forum

thks all for your comment, its been so helpful, i ve rescinded my decision of staying away from her for a while, for d sake of my marriage. she had apologised seriously & said she just does not have any ulterior motives or feelings thats why she picks his call, but now that i dont like it, its ended completely. I believe her & also made her understand that, i m not saying she has anything with him, but i know the way men reason, & i dnt want anybody take advantage of my wife. I m also working on

[quote author=ronkebp]At poster....you are angry that your wife's ex wished her a "happy birthday"??
All i see around is insecurities, high and low.....you said your self she broke up with the guy 3 years before your marraige, and you think she will be dating him out of "frustration" since you have lost your job? is it because the guy is in London that this insecurities rose from level 2 to 20.....
can u simply tell me in simple english, what the guy really wants by getting in touch?

she had left dis guy long B4 we met, they dated from sec skool days, now d issue is, i ve told her, i dont like this ex closeness, right from day one. but her own understanding is different. she says an adage like, if we r fighting, its nt dat we shd die. is like we are nt one d same page, i ve told her & she said she heard but she does nt really understand why i shd bother, she trust her self & knows what she can do. but 4 me Ex is Ex, i dnt call my exs, because they r married & its gone.

Chanchit: First of all, go do DNA for ur children, that is if u have one, cos i've not seen anything abt children in your post, i'm very sure, if ur wife truely respects you, she won't try that sh!?t... Let me rest my case, cos if me give you my advice, they would start qouting me now..

DNA surely, because she was pregnant b4 we got married. she should go & get d attention of her EX that she is looking for, i m moving back 2 phc, she shud enjoy her EX call very well.

Kobojunkie: @Poster, I will tell you what I will tell a woman in your case, you just have to accept that you CANNOT CONTROL YOUR PARTNER. Simply,let her know how you feel about what she is doing, and continue your life as best you can. She is an adult and will make whatever decisions she will. You cannot impose your will on her, and you can only hope that she will do right by your marriage in the end.

thats what i thought about, i will my life the way i want it,

she seems to have soft spot for the guy, things are a bit rough now,because i lost my job and we had to part our luxurious life in phc & come down to Lagos to manage.A family friend that was there on our introduction, the wife played a major role on our wedding day, was the cause of initial problem. The Man was looking for job for her, and was also disturbing her at the back, until i got to know.I complained bitterly about this and even had to confront the guy and he later apologized.But she has not been friendly and i complained about lack of trust because i still stay often in Phc with only her and kids here. In the cause of her explanation, she brought the issue of this her EX, and how if the guy is asked today of her, the guy will always attest to her faithfulness and that the guy knows all she can do.

So i was surprised that this guy is past tense, how did she remember her, & i probed further, and she opened up that the guy even came to her family house to show her traveling documents, and that they get in touch once in a while since the guy traveled. The guy has not forgotten her birthday after parting for like 8yrs now.
I dont know if i have been a fool since we got married, i was with her once in her home town, and she crossed the main road to go and greet the guy and i complained bitterly, and told her that i dont like that kind of nature. Past is past.

I m just considering my kids now because, i dont even know her involvement with this guy. I dont know what women really want.

My wife knows quite well that i dont appreciate her contacts with her EXs, because this created a lots of problem before we got married, that she had to give her old line to her sister, to stop the mess. But to my amazement, after 6yrs of marriage, her main ex, which they dated for over 7yrs( he wasnt the one causing problem, because the parted in bad faith, i thought she wouldnt even say hello to him if she sees him) has been calling hreeer. The guy even came to her house, when her mum died to greet her and told her of his travelling to london. They have been talking since the guy got to London, and the guy calls on her birthday( she told me, though i dont think thats all).

The question is cant the sleeping dog lies for God sake. I have all a lots of exs, i dont call them, not to talk of even remembering their birthday. She parted with the guy like 8yrs ago, 3 yrs before we got married, so whats the remembrance or link for God sake.Though they are both from the same town and they see each other sometimes i guess.
My fear is this, my wife usually travels to her home town from our base in Portharcourt, every long holiday, to stay with her family for like 2months, since we got married like 5yrs ago. I guess they have been seeing, only God knows what could have happenned. I dont know if this is tribal, i am a yoruba too, but why do yoruba girls behave like this.I am pissed with her men, she just bleeped our marriage up

I have been thinking lately, can this country really change, how, where will it start from, i attend Rccg and we usually remember Nigeria in our prayers, but i sometime wonder if God will answer.

Where can we start from, is it bad roads, no power, no food, no shelter, no job, economy zero, corruption in phcn, police, higher institutition, exam malpractices, cultism, bribery, governance for one's pocket. Will all these ever stop in this country, or do we need God to come down and rule us.

But as for me i think this country needs complete revolution that will cut across the nook and cranny of Nigeria, and it must start with Jonathan, it can only work when it flows from the top. I dont know if we can ever have a Nigeria where policemen will not be collecting #20 bribe.

@ lizzybabe1 & mama-gee,

Both of you are right, one way or the other, so no need for argument, the ivorians did not play too badly, and you can fault somethings about the brazilians, they were not like the brazilians of the old.

I must say i am so impressed for the passion you both have for the game of soccer, so let me ask, which clubside do you both follow?

Yoruba girls really have somethings unique about them, there are so fascinating to be with, i missed a lot of them since i am in port harcourt.

I will like to identify with fellow omo yoruba here o, and any omo yoruba girl in phc, we can become pals .

sophianah:
Omo yoruba, awa bi ewa

i found out in another thread that we are b day mates, 2nd may, i woundnt meeting you o, platonic friendship basically.

BjCole

yeye man

d bigrod:
[size=16pt]beautiful b,u are such a funny character.why all these scary movies u post on nairaland.i dey fear u seriously.[/size]

nawa o, so you sef noticed, abeg o , young girl take am easy, and the most scary thing for me now, is that she lives around ma area in Ph, abeg o, so many of us guys are good people and will never think of such gory thing not to talk of doing it. Men are not that wicked o except some few bad eggs.

I am in port harcourt, and i guess we can organise these partying or get together thing easily, we just need to agree on where we can be meeting once in a while, maybe monthly or weekly or otherwise. I am so interested in this, so if we think we are ready, then let us start rolling.

I live in agip too, i m on 08077769415, waiting for meaningful responses,

Beautful.B:
The following emotionally upsetting but the story was narrated to me by a brother, to illustrate the far-reaching effect marital choice can have. It is the story of a young lady who met and fell in love with a dashing young man. Without sacrificing any time to lay a solid foundation for a happy and successful relationship, they got married. After about ten years of marriage the man began to feel that he was into prospering financially as eh used to before he was married. He thought of how to correct the situation and. With little effort, he got ‘appropriate’ counsel and decided to kill his wife in order to perform rituals that would change his fortune. He murdered her, then butchered her and packed her neatly into a medium sized leather bag. On his way to the ritual site, he unexpectedly ran into police check point, unusual for that time of day, the policeman asked him, to open the boot of his car. He began to perspire and was reluctant to get out of the car. The policeman insisted that he open the boot, and found the bag. The terrible deed was revealed and the man was arrested and taken to the police station.


THE LESSONS TO BE LEARNT:
we should be careful there is a thin line between love and death.
It is better to stay single and be alive, than rush into marriage and lose you life.

All these your murdered, butchered and being packed in a bag stories dey fear me o, i was thinking of knowing you earlier but with all these stories and the similarities in the one you posted earlier, abeg take am easy, make u no go vex, and use it to react to someone, well good stories, but i can hardly believe it.

chaircover:
@Irunmole, I disagree. Why?

Because most people remember their first real love. They remember how inncocent it all was and how we used to feel butterflys in our tummys just by thinking about him/her, the snatched stolen moments at the bus stop etc

With our first love's, we hardly experience "real life" together in the real sense of it; e.g bills that need paying, dealing with sick children with runny noses, waking up to feed the baby, in-law issues, financial issues and so on.

Try going through "real life" with your first love and you will find that he is not much better than the special one you said "I do to" 15 years ago

I think this has said it all, all these about first love or true love were mere fantasies, what is involved in a marriage so far outweigh all these fantasies, and thats the main reason why so many of those relationships dont end in marrige. And why would you leave your wife in the first place.