₦airaland Forum

The foundatn is d root cause of most crises in marriages, d bible says if d foundatn b destroyed what can a righteous do. Marriage cnt be on a deceit, cheating, lies & so on & u expect 2 excel. A marriage without christ is in crises. It is only d fear of God that can make marriage. Wife submit ur self unto ur husband, husband love ur wife. It is only when dis is inplace, that marriage can be succesful. so my advice marry in d Lord, it pays

afam4eva: Marraige is a responsible and therefore requires maturity. It's unfortunate that most people who go into marriage these days are going to it because everyone else is doing it and not necessarily because they're mature for it or know what it's all about. People always look forward to their wedding but ignore that after the wedding comes the marriage which is the KOKO.

D bible says its nt gud 4 a man to be alone, We shd all aspire 2 get married,

@ mazaje U dnt need 2 lighten it up, this is a clear case of lack of respect for his brother, he could ve just avoided it anyhow, or just walk away, What abt if she had passed out like that, what excuse will he give? Its nt in his place 2 discpline his brother's wife, no matter d circumstance. Will u take that 4rm ur younger brother, he didnt behave like an adult at all & u also contributed

[quote author=Teemah Fashion][/quote]@ teema fashion gud 4 u o, but 1 out of 1million is more like non existing. There s no diff. betwn abortion & using Cds & pills 2 ward it off. D questions s why cant u ladies close ur legs. I was 25 & out of skool wen i had d 1st sex, i really wanted 2 stay til marriage, even though girls were making me look like i m impotent. D girl i did with 1st insisted dat it is d sign f luv & wat after, she left becos i cudnt do it 2 her taste. SEX S NT A SIGN F LUV.

Ujujoan: EXACTLY!

I think the change needs to come from the women. If women can only stand thrie ground, men won't have to kick them around

women stand their ground on what, sex or pregnancy. I dnt why ladies just cant reason. Girls start sexual life as early as Jss with numerous D&C, & someone will now bear d consequence. Who can boast of tear rubber wife now, we only make do with 10th or 20th hand. Some ladies ve had over 50 sex patners. Its just unfortunate.

i wonder why after all these comments, there r still pl enty complains abt husbands. Women surely dnt knw what they want. I help my wife if i ve to & i ve d time, but that she will only love me when i turn to houseboy, doing all house chores & also fends 4 d family, D world is surely coming to an end.

I thought d i deal thing is marriage is honourable & bed undefiled, if we can just turn back 2 d days of old, d world will be a better place. If u can sleep wit him, u can as well be pregnant 4 him, If i m dating a lady & demanded 4 sex & she says until d wedding nite, will i demand 4 pregnancy when i cant even ve sex , & if i go elseware i meet d same roadblock, wont i cool off. So who is to blame? a friend stood her ground & got married as a virgin, & d man had 2 wait, she has 3kids now.

baby_123: If they both agree, nothing wrong. But both parties should be people of integrity with a focus. The woman in the situation should be aware that if the guy changes his mind though "Oro pesi je, o di hmm!"

i thought d i deal thing is marriage is honourable & bed undefiled, if we can just turn back 2 d days of old, d world will be a better place. If u can sleep wit him, u can as well be pregnant 4 him, if he is demanding it, whats wrong.

BlueDiva: With the way women mess themselves up these days, don't blame the guys for wanting insurance. You will weep if you know the number of abortions going on daily. I demand change t we must demand total change.
Let us go back to the days of old when women had respect and the wedding night was worth it.

surely not this world, sometimes i wonder if all serere of d wedding worth, a woman that has seen it all. Its almost impossible 2 come across a lady that has not aborted

women & their funny comments, so if a man has not turn to houseboy, u wont luv him, d world is surely upside down, Someone drives 2 his wife shop everyday & stay there throughout D day & he is nt praying 4 it change. I rather be a femi otedola r mike Adenuga with little or no time 4 wify gossips, than a woman rapper.The more time u spend wit a woman in d house, d more insults u receive.Women olivertwists little wonders some f d commentators here r nt still satisfy even after all d so called treat.

its nice wen u hear gud comments abt marriage, 4 me after 6yrs, it gud & well. She has done so numerous luvly things dat i cant say all here, complimented urself in several ways we can, but what i tell people is, marriage is not all rosy,there r ups & down & challenges,things dat can kip one going is endurance & patience, if not dat luvly person dat seems u can die 4, can just turn 2 a very hated person.I ve known abt it, hence divorce s off my way. i luv m wife of course, or what choice do i ve .

debrief08: In developed sane societies, those illiterate Professionals will loose their license for making confidential patient information a subject of drunk beer parlor gist.
When did men become such shameless gossips? Going to sit and gossip about sick womens veejays

tak it easy madam, even Drs in ur develop sane countries r nt any better, a man is man, be it dr, engr or meco, he just nid 2 act as a pros in ur presence. Some f u can nt discuss ur experience wit ur hubby,

Even my wife agrees dat its nt going 2 comfortable, but its just what women go thru, & someone here saying becos all manners of things in dis world ve done 2 her own kitty, so its not big deal, whats my biz if ur kitty is every Dr ' s lab.Som ladies n my office had given some horrible exp. 4rm some f d guys, & i ve heard som careless talk 4rm som Drs dats r pals, is dat not an enough ground 4 reservatn. hw wil a woman dat has b openin her kitty 2 Drs 4 all manners of operatn 4rm teenage be too w n

thks 2 those wit appreciable comments, i ve nt said we ve emergency here & i didnt say she wont see a qualified personnel, u guys dnt even knw if its been taken care of, i just dont understand why some ladies will always put issues down 2 insecurity & jealousy, u can imagine dat lady taged very controlling. I opened dis thread nt 4 insult bt advice. Why wont i ve say over who my wife opens her kitty 4.

jidegirl12: Shame on your physicians friends that discuss their patients at the bar and what not! Their licence should be revoked for bridge of confidentiality, it's just wrong.... even without seeing you in person , you sound very possessive and it's not very attractive !

I hope is not surprising you, & u dont need 2 shame them, u also discuss somethings about ur profession with friends, so its nt new, Drs r human, they r nt super & didnt drop 4rm another planet.

@debrief & cohorts u r all retarded, if viginal has been used for all form nonsense like u said with ur mouth, so someone else must do same. A viginal that has been used by all available dick & harry, battered left & right 4rm teenage, why will it be new. U come here & comment, fools. get more knowledge, then u will ve brain & think twice b4 u open ur dirty viginal for them to plaster.

mondi_cheeks: he is jus doing his job its not like he is going to have sexual intercourse wit her after stitching her up

thks madam, i knw this is purely clinical, but is my concept & approval not necessary b4 this can be done? Now if i express my reservation based on what i heard or knw abt some of them, is it out of place? i dnt why retarded ladies like debrief & her cohorts will always make useless comments here. who m i 2 jealous of, u or my wife.

there is no crime in helping one's wife @ home, but d man must choose to do it, it must not be seen that u force him to do, like some ladies r making it look here. I dont think there are rules on this, u cant report this 2 anybody, some of us enjoy doing & some dont like it, it does not make him less an husband. D thing is a man is a good husband when wife is having her & soon as d man stands his ground, he is bad. I dnt knw women r just unavoidable wahala.

jidegirl12: I had male Gynaecologist and they are even old to be my father and my hubby's always with me for check ups , Pap tests and examination down there. So relax like people already said, it's nothing to them, I wonder what goes on in those gynaecologists brains during examinations ? tough work .

a lot goes on in their brain, Those dat r close 2 them know, they only act professionally in ur presence, A man is man Dr or no Dr.

thks all for ur response, @ dare2think i still ve reservation 4 ur comparison, women think differently from men on this kind of issue, i still will ve a rethink as a man on taking my pp to female doctor for observation or operation when i ve options, & i m not in an emergency . As much as i knw that it is just clinical, but some f these Drs dont help matters, i ve lot of them professionals as friends, when u hear what say, u start having a rethink in opening ur viginal 4 a male gynecologist.

@ dare2think, i dont ve problem seeing a female doctor, but i cant remember going to one to inspect my private part or help shave d hair, or check if i my balls are still present, I dont why we cant compare things appropriately. Anyway thks 4 contributing

i dnt knw if this topic has been posted b4, but i will like to know if its ok allowing one's wife to see a male gynecologst. Mine had a tear during childbirth, though it was sown, but a family friend that assisted during her recovery used too much of hot water on her. Later we discovered d stiches was coming out. So a midwife introduced us to a male gynecologist to restich it. So i will like 2 knw 4rm ladies if its just ok & 4rm guys, any emotional truama after this, though my wife is ok wit it.

Efemena_xy: In that case, thank goodness I'm catholic.

Our priests are celibate - that way, I don't have to worry about my "confessions" leaked out to another soul...

Madam Confession is not a secret matter anymore, your heart is straight with God and you are required to do restitution, If you are still afraid of it being leaked, or heard by someone else, then it is not confession. You also confess to the person you sin against
That is why those keeping things from their spouses should know that the day of restitution is coming, where they will have to tell all they have been doing at their back, because your conscience will judge you. I regretted some things i did in the past when i got an insight of this.

If u get into any trouble because your spouse sees a confidential info on your phone, its your cross, you have to carry it. @ siena i m nt discussing what works for you or me, i m telling you about one of the principle of marriage. I can tell u that lots feel they see their spouse texts even though they appear as if they are bother. Now i still cant see d offence in picking my spouse to read her text message disrespectful. If i ve to many confidential info, i keep it my office. I browse

Mrs..Chima:
It is sad to see that some people would rather their spouse to lose their job, business, and practice in the sake of "we are one" mentality.

madam dnt run away from d point, no spouse is interested in d client information except you caused it by creating suspicion or ur spouse is just suspecting but u sort that out, i dont knw how. but to say because i m doctor, lawyer or what, my spouse cannot pick or read my texts, i dont know, may be we r rewriting d rule.

@ kobojunkie, i completely agree with you, if you dont want ur spouse to know about ur professional privacy keep it in your office or clinic. some even argue of if u r a lawyer or medics wit loads of private issues, will you want ur spouse to know, d rule is keep no secret from each other, if ur spouse stumbles on ur phone or checks if he/she wishes & sees anything abt ur profession, it is nt a secret u r keeping from him, its just that u dnt see any reason telling him/her.

@ jennykardy & her cronies, pls dnt bend the rule to suit what you do in your homes. we need to promote togetherness not individualism. Ask yourself why are marriages breaking this. People seems to promote their profession more than their marriage

@ Uju dnt let anybody confuse u, there is no any disrespect whatsoever in picking your spouse phone if you wish so.

jennykadry: ^^^ if you were not married I would have added you to the list of my e-husbands. But that your wife is not to be trusted. I won't be alive to tell my story after she is done with me
That strong akpuruka woman

madam understand, it is on the basis of trust that u can even have access to ur spouse phone. how much interesting will it be if ur spouse can attend ur calls for when you r there. there is no secresy in marriage, it negates Gods principle, dnt bend

Siena:

If your spouse is a lawyer or doctor, you're telling me you should have access to her confidential and business issues?? Jesus! What would you want with them? If you feel the Confidentiality Clause is a load of bull, you tell her clients, and see how fast they'll drop your spouse. Not to talk of the legal implications that will ensue. If she's a lawyer or doctor, she could even be struck off the register.

cct

My brother you are not getting it, nobody is saying you come home to discuss day to day activities with your spouse, it is unnecessary, but i bet you will run to him\ her when one of those your supposed private, business or confidentiality lands you into wahala to seek his\ her help and advice, in fact your spouse is involved automatically. Now coming to the issue, when two becomes one there are no private issues anymore. It will amazes you how much secrets spouses keep away from themselves. Marriage can only excel on this principle.

I will say here emphatically that any home where friends know more about you than your spouse, then it is not healthy, you are only pushing the evil day, it will surely come. I was doing like that before and i can tell you how much regrets i have for that.

no wonder marriages are collapsing these days, because we just refuse to leave and cleave to our spouse. lots of spouses are even envisaging seperation, hence they wont let some info so it wont haunt them later. I usually traveled in company of my pastor, whenever he is driving, he gives his phone to me to attend to his calls & messages, I ve really learnt from that. I dnt get worried if i forget my phone @ home, whether she wil read or not, i was before until i did away with all the rubbish then,

I m surprised @ lots of comment here, we should get it into our heads that, there are no private issues as far as u married, be it personal, business or profession. No right thinking spouse expects you to divulged all your day to day activities to him/her unless it concerns him/her or how many you treated or diagnosed with Stds, but if that information comes inform of text, its not private anymore. your spouse should have unrestricted access to you & your information.

contd, on my trust issue, because she so much trusted me all these while, i also want to get a level where i can trust her so much too. Her trusting me gives me some confidence, i need her to have some confidence. But that aside, the issue of comunicating with an Ex is what i dont like, its nt healthy, & dats why i left all my Exes to enjoy their homes, rather giving them old memories. thks God she now understand with me. We are working on d healing process now. Thk u all & God bless.