₦airaland Forum

I m askin this b'cos, most of my time in Phc with the pals i had then, D issue of married ladies was just a taboo, when we talk about it, it was like, why would i, with all these pretty girls around,that was just the notion then,but since i ve been in Lagos, few of d pals i ve now seem to be involve wit married ladies, i ve 2 start distancing myself 2 them b'cos its just absurd 2 me. So is it that there r no enough singles around? or is just something some guys cant do without? or what?

kilimanjaro: @all,
Thanks for the inputs. The point is - the husband is comfortable, he never depends on his wife, this man has built his own house and has two cars.
Why then would she lie?

There are good ladies & bad ones, if she is a good one, then she is planing for some independence based on what she is facing wit d husband, so i think d husband shd still check himself. D husband shd know better

when a woman is married, she is responsible to her husband, her desires are unto her husband & he rules over her, dats how God made it, in view of this, d husband is directly & indirectly responsible 4 d safety & security of his wife. He is d first person 2 ask if any wrong happens 2 his wife, if caging wil guarrantee d safety f his woman, why not? U r daughters of Eve, d world has nt recovered 4rm ur grandmother silly mistakes in d garden of eden.

Kobojunkie: The mere mention of hotel auto-magically means HOTEL ROOM to many of these INSECURE beings though. That here is the problem I am having with this.

That Nigeria has a general crime problem is not enough reason why, a woman should be shackled AFTER marriage(not even before married)

I ve many of ur type in my office, speak so many westernized stunts & do all form of rubish wit d boss
es, Things r happening & u ve 2 open ur eyes..

@ kobojunkie, i hope u r not loosing it, u need 2 read one's comment well b4 u make ur silly comments, this uncle they r nt related, they r some close family members that u can call uncle, he asked her 2 come home 4 assistance on a monday morning, d wife had gone 2 work, no kids or anybody around, she told me & i said no, not too long, d man called in d night, thought i had travelled, told her how he was daring 2 ve sex wit her. So i dnt d insecurity issue now. I knw ur type anyway.

This is really a messy situation, i really dont know what to advice but i think d closest option is 4 u to reveal this, so that ur mind can be very clear, u made a big mistake but d conscience u have is d gud part of this. Some Ladies ve done much more worst things than u did & no remorse, no conscience, some r even doing it now as a married woman. Take courage, it might create some furies among d brothers but ur openess & repentance will go a long way 2 help. Commit it to God & do it now.

one yeye uncle like dat asked my wife 2 come home, because of some assistance, when she told, i could sense some wrong motives & i told her dis ur uncle is after something, she was like i m making asumptions, not more than two weeks after, d true color of d uncle was revealed. U will see d handwriting clearly & stil ignores it. Men dont think d way u women think, having sex to man is like easing himself & after, he is relieved. Even d advanced world, d men behave better because of d law.

Some f our women stil behave in this their fishy brain actitude, even going 2 d man's house can be dangerous, if he is alone. I ve seen too many things among bank ladies that i always ve little respect for d married ones. Lots of our married women r compromising these days & its annoying. D other lady working thruout d night wit her colleague in a hotel, more grease 2 ur elbow. As a married woman, there things u cant do, common sense.

I ve been appreaciting my wife more these days after joining family section, thank God i did nt fall into d hands of any hawks, i pity future husbands. To do questiong, We onced had a maid & my wife never allow her to near her kitchen, my wife derives pleasure in cooking & serving her husband & my daughter must do same, dats d discpline i wil instil in her. I dont knw otherwise.

Kobojunkie: ENDURE IT? That seems to be the average Nigerian's solution to most every problem. How has that worked out for you and your kind?

my mother endured it & she is in her 70s stil wit my dad, my wife is enduring it becos she does nt want 2 be a single mum. If u tell me ur man is having affairs here & there or is abusing, then i can understand, hw wil my wife tell me i dnt ve healthy relationship wit my mum & i wil understand, I ve kids now, is it easy?

Kobojunkie: the fact that she sees a reason to complain should be enough to motivate you to make sure you have a good UNDERSTANDING of what it is she is really experiencing BEFORE you post advice that pretends a full understanding of her situation.

Suggesting that she pretends nothing is wrong is the way people scatter homes,they instead create problems.

There r always going 2 be problems, she shd go & endure it, am i nt enduring mine, & u r also enduring urs.

@ kobojunkie, what knowledge or experience do u ve on marrital issues & hw long ve u been married, someone is saying her husband is a dondie here & u r saying no, is she nt insulting her hubby b4 an internet forums. What r u ladies taking us 4 mumu or what. D man is old enough 2 handle d matter his own ways & whatever happens she s d one that will go, d MIL isnt going anywhere. @ jidegirl what a gud comments 4rm u, i m nt surprise anyway, d real agents of divorce wil come & help her out.

Kobojunkie: @Poster, how old is your husband? How old is the mother? That can maybe give us a better idea in what it is you think or maybe seeing there. How long have you been married? Did anything change recently that made him start doting on her the way you described or is it just that you did not pay attention to this before you married him but are only now just noticing what has been there all along?>

what r all these ur questions 4? this is how u people scatter homes.

Ms.JuanMata:
@ Jidegirl yes o,why wnt I be unhappy seeing my hubby doing 'dondie' for anybody even if its his mum. In short meself I don tire, and the woman that brought him up he dsnt do 'dondie' for her like dis.
I even feel she deserves its more.

pls madam, its disrespectful 2 come here & say ur hubby is a donde, i dnt think u want 2 be controlling ur husband becos u appearing so already. I can bet u wil nt enjoy d outcome of dis ur venture.

I know u dnt ve anything against MIL, u just want things done d right way.There can never be anything too much to do 4 one parent, even if uve 2 go out of ur way, whether they train u up r not. So u ve 2 find a way 2 live wit it, ur husband is nt complaining, pls dnt cause any problem between him & his mother. I knw his money is urs too, but u ve 2 trust his judgement, maybe God is even blessing him becos of what he is doin 4 his mum. He is a gud man, ur mum may also enjoy dis too.cheers

funny thread & complete waste of time, thank God, i didnt marry one of those so called liberal women, feminist, she would ve been long gone. If u cant submit 2 my authority, whether u like it or not, u r nt fit 2 be my wife, no wonder d whole place is littered with divorcees, even NL here, arant nonsense. My wife is a educated & knowlegdeable wit wisdom, she contributes her quota 2 d success of d home, if i m nt please wit anything my wife is doing & she doent stop, thats d end of d marriage.

kobojunkie pls seriously, lets get this straight, a lot of people r reading this & some can learn 4rm it. I dnt ve any problem with divorcees at all, they r humans & need our respect & love. D rate @ which its spreading is what i frown at. People here even talk abt it, as if it is d solution 2 any maritals problems. So a ? 4 u, will u take ur marital challenges 2 a divorced friend 2 advice u on what 2 do? honest answer pls

Kobojunkie: Before you quote any yeye adage to me, at least make sure that those who claim to believe it have BENEFITED from the so-called wisdom contained.EXPERIENCE IS THE BEST TEACHER.

pls, dont ever call my yoruba people adage yeye, i wished u ve a better understanding, a sheep dat moves wit a dog, will it not eat sheat? u claimed experience s d best teacher, there r things u better nt experience at all. Go experience fatal accident so that u can learn 4rm it, teacher

Tgirl4real: Bjcole, did u get my apology mail?

I saw d mail, but i dnt knw how 2 open, i ve not done mails on Nl before & i dnt knw if u wil teach me, since i no belong 2 d inner chamber group.

coogar: of course
there's a thin line between decency and indecency..after divorce, many women get disi hopelessthings spiral out of control and the most decent woman can turn into the irresponsible. christians do backslide, don't they?

Oga na so, many of d divorced ladies r into married men afairs because d options are limited. Marriage is check & balance, u r nt free 2 do what u want becos of ur spouse. A divorcee is free like a bird, & u knw what a free bird can do.

my sister kobojunkie, hope u r a female sha, a yoruba adage says: aguntan 2 ba ba aja rin, a je igbe, i m nt saying some divorcee dnt ve gud advices, just leave ur marital advices off it. what advice do u get 4rm a woman that left her husband becos she could nt cope wit abuses, when u r being abused.I left a divorcee friend dat was telling me 2 watch my wife, she might be sneaking out 2 do some funny, becos his own wife was doing so. Their advice is just nt healthy 4 stable marriage.

@ ileobatojo, i guess i got ur name well, let me tell u more, may be u wil understand, they practically lived 2gether, when they were in skool & i even got 2 know her through her cousin, becos we lived 2gether in d same town, a gud christian woman. Her hubby ran into some problem financially & some medical issues, she could nt hang on 2 help her husband & when she left d man, divorce threw those options, abi @ dat level, which kind of men wil come ur way, no be married men or she be plywood.

my own advice, dont go to a divorcee for marital advices, they only see d negatives, except if the fellow is married again, besides why even go 2 a divorcee, when u can choose among d married folks, d gud ones, becos there r bad ones, so many examples on this section. 4 me i choose my friends & i wont choose a divorcee as one, what wil he tell me other than women r bundle of wahala, leave her & be free. I ve just given one a long rope becos of useless advices even if u r my brother or sister.

m wife's cousin divorced her husband (a cool headed man by IMO) & i told be careful of ur cousin, she was like why, is she nt my sister.I was out of town for a while & she went & stayed wit her, she didnt believe what she saw,newtworking, otunbas, Alhajis & others, she was like, is this what my sister is doing? i told her, didnt i tel u 2 be careful? Now is just hi hi they do, so is dat d kind of person m wife shd go to 4 advice? is it not advice on how 2 be free 4rm men wahala she wil give? abegi

Mrs mansson: @ bjcole my mum did all that for my late dad.what did she get in return?

Let it be counted unto u dat u did ur part as ordained by God, He is d author of marriage. U never can tell if some of what ur mum is enjoying 2day is becos of her being faithful & obedient. D heart of a virtous woman seeks 2 please her husband, his desires are her desires. That is d idea of a marriage & dat is what s in d manual.

Odunnu: Naija folks.
Welcome.
Generally, kids these days say things that'll shut adults up. How about babyette? Is she the quiet introvert?

d kids shall grow, even @ 40 i m still growing well, thk u . Madam Tee sorry i dnt knw i m doing more than those inner caucus derailing d thread since, abeg no vex, we shall get there.

jidegirl12: Oga Cole.... Lol.....awww that's sexy! Did you wear apron and chef's hat?

no be small thing, i wore it o & d soup was delicious, egusi soup with correct eba, she was even jealous,she no knw say na form i dey form since. U ladies on Nairaland have taught me how 2 become correct houseboy. So whats ur advice on this my bedmatics, it is producing too much result o. i guess u r a Dr.

this fantasy show seems 2 be getting interesting, anyway my wife was a bit happy yesterday, she got me 2 do what i ve never done in over 6yrs of our life, i cooked a delicious soup, made eba & clean up d house house, NL has turned to me this, i just dnt know but i seem 2 enjoy it a bit, but i didnt allow it 2 affect my football time, i dnt joke wit that. And d so so belle whe she dey carry ton tire me o, dis is 4th time dis yr, condom i no sabi, family planing we no want, i dont know what 2 do o?

great thread, & some gud responses here,jidegirl & greatgod keep it up & continue 2 ve a blissful home, he just need 2 know u respect & obey him, that all. Some guys can be hard & some r gently, u just ve 2 find way 2 please ur man. Every spirit of third party in ur marriage shall die in IJN, those useless guys & ladies that like putting assunder in marriages, they wil not know peace, they will die prematurely. So shall it be IJN. Bye to divorce in our family section Amen.

oga coogar, its only a fishy brain woman that will melt seeing her Ex lover, so many women dont know what they want, i wil never allow any ex lover becoming a friend 2 my wife, never, except she wants problem in d house, only God knows when these ladies wil wake up, its just all about sex, that what a man thinks abt, may be this one rib thing is what is causing the fish brain mentality i dont knw. what is d assurrance that d Op wil nt sleep wit this guy even when she is married 2 someone else.