₦airaland Forum

debrief08: Now I get where you are coming from, but remember thats you and your husband, another couple may have their own areas of strengths and it could be in cooking just like your husband is good with child care another husband may choose to support his wife by taking charge of the kitchen

absolute rubbish, no wonder ur marriages dont last over there. I reject it in Jesus name. i rather stick wit my naija babes not these London girls wit wrong mentality.

debrief08: My dear it takes a lot to piss me off, I may disagree but get pissed off for having a different opinion, No Nah. We are different. Well to us bills and chores are on the same level, we actually stayed up one night and shared bills and chores, we each try not to fail in our respective responsibilities. If I cant do something i inform him ahead of time and vice versa

I doubt this madam, lots f guys will nt descend this low, sharing chores wit u. just too much

Ujujoan: Men are not 'lazy', they just dont think they should be the ones doing the chores. They think it's someone else' responsibility, like their wife . . . People like you arew the ones encouraging them!

What's wrong with a man cooking? But then again like you siad, that's you!

so u will like ur hubby cooking 4 u while u cross ur legs watching movies abi. Its like u want to marry a dummy husband. He can help if he chooses, but 2 cook 4 d home, na woman work be dat

Tgirl4real: There is nufin wrong with dat as long as there is trust and understanding between u and ur partner. Any choking relationship isn't healthy.

Keeping the opp sex as a best friend is not healthy and actually not dat feasible cos once u get married u get preoccupied with so many things that u sometimes forget that ur friends exist.

A best friend is someone u tell practically everything and that is not nice once u are married.

However, to keep sane, it's purely human for u to wanna interact with other people apart from ur spouse. But, there is a limit u can go. I personally wouldn't do movies with just any friend cos it's kinda personal. There are some peeps I'm comfy with cos they are family friends and we have a healthy relationship. Nothing wrong in hanging out with colleagues for a drink or a group movie outing. Just keep it healthy that's all that matters and try and keep ur spouse in d know.

Keep it healthy, that is how it starts, there are too many examples

jidegirl12: Okay but sometimes don't you feel you need a breathing space? Like sincerely? Like you feel choked? I'm just being sincere like do fun things with your friends without your spouse involved?

devil at work here

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1920MaMa: who is talking about runs girls here? why on earth is a man bent on knowing the details of my past relationship? u should be interested in the now not the man i was with b4 you. what if i get to tell you that my ex was far better than u, how would you feel? my dear is better to leave things where they are, the past!

you own your about to be husband, details of your past, you didnt fall from heaven, and somethings took place in your life, you can imagine having aborted once or several times, you owe it an obligation to disclose to him.

Mrs.Chima:
That's okay I will stick to what I have been doing...some us like sleeping with our partners PEACEFULLY.

You can stick to whatever works for you, but do things, that will make your husband not upset,rather than accusing him of getting angry. He was upset with you because of the environment you found yourself or the way you handle the matter. You can not claim to be a good wife by hiding things from your husband because you assume he might be angry. You can imagine, your boss will be disturbing you, or his friend or your lecturer will want to sleep with you, and you will not disclose to your husband because he will be angry. Only God knows the kind women these days.

i dnt subscibe 2 a woman doing everyting, & d man sits @ home doing nothing, If he is out f job & he can help wit d children skool runs & take dat off d woman.@op sometimes wat u hear r nt correct, so dnt judge wit it, d man can stil be d one fending 4 d family.There was a time, i wasnt working, & my wife salary was quite small, i was stil d one doing most things thru som means, i stayed @ home most times & people thought she was d one. So u never can tel, d wife shd desist 4rm running him down.

dayokanu: Rather I pray I would never marry a woman who would base her love and respect on how much money I can pitch into it. What does playing second fiddle to my wife mean?
Is someone meant to play first fiddle in an equal relationship?

In a marriage d husband has d final say, though its gud 2 listen 2 ur wife' say. So she is right, d man plays d 1st fiddle & there s nothing like equality in a marriage. A gud wife wil say i ve discuss wit my hubby,

baby_123: Interes So what are you going to do now? Advice him to kil her. Come Mr. Friend, can you hand on heart claim your friend has been faithful? People get what they give. Am sure you even kn his girlfriends. Shior!

ur comments most times is absurd,wil u cheat on ur husband becos u guess he is cheating, i just pity d husband that will marry. A woman that can cheat on her husband can equally kill d husband. @op tel ur friend, if he has d grace let him carry on, e no easy.

slimyem: Why the man con be like criminal wey dey pose for mugshot nah?

& u will like it, if someone refer to u like that.

1920MaMa: study him b4 telling and mind wat u voice out. if he's an abuser, chances are he will surely use them against you in future.
old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

this shd be d reasoning of those runs girls that full port harcourt, i ve always wondered if they r nt going 2 be married. So many men dont actually know their wives, what a cruel world.

Mrs.Chima:
now if i slept wit a man & got pregnant of course that is something i need 2 share wit my husband

i hear u madam, & that will nt aggrevate him, like u advised, & if u r nt pregnant, u wil also tell so that he can be happy, those r ur important info abi? let me ask u, wil u tell if ur boss is bent on sleeping wit u or friend? why did he get angry wit u after telling him urself, estabilsh that, nt dat nigerian r teritorial & jealous, may be american men r better.

Alpha2k: From what Peter told me, the relationship went sour based on series of disagreements with his family.

.@ op u interact wit this man, tell us more details abt him, lets knw exactly what happened, b4 this ladies start making uninformed comments here, they r just to biased. The man may d cause or d lady did something terrible that the man got to knw & she ran. She shd return d man's kids & run 2 wherever she wants.

Kajiang02: With all due respect, you just sounded like a young lady growing up. (Its understandable). I bet you don't understand what goes on in so many marriages, As for you question, it is 100% possible and exist so much in our African context.
This is a matter that requires careful interrogations and questioning from both parties.

.So she can run away with children that belong to both of them. If she is nt okay wit d marriage, she shd divorce properly. That is theft.

Mrs.Chima:
What do you disagree with? I want to make sure I understand your point.

If it does nt work 4 u, doesnt mean it work 4 others, & why generalising nigerian men. A close family friend to my wife's family, that we so much respected becos f what he did during our weddin was disturbing & wanting 2 sleep wit her, I got 2 knw & i was very upset even wit her, we agreed on what 2 do,he was so ashamed f himself, when he got 2 knw dat i m aware. how much r willing 2 keep

some women & there way of life, see all ur bad comments, why must u celebrate problems, a man just lost his 3kids & u r making dis funny comments. I thought dis forum is supposed 2 be 4 responsible married women. It is like there more single mothers here than i thought.

my brother d solutn lies within u, i remember when i had some challenges, my wife has lots f big shots in family that can help, & she told & they were nt forthcoming, they couldnt even help wit a job 4 her, but we stood our ground & got ourself out f d mess. So u ve bring urself up & start doing something. someone just gave some tips there, even if u ve 2 carry block, do it 4 d sake of ur family, its just a phase.

there r factors that must be considered b4 u go into such, u cant keep having kids out of wedlock & be considered responsible. If she had been married b4, u need 2 knw if she is properly divorced & if not, d whole details surrounding d issues shd be known & u also get details 4rm her family. 4 me i may nt be able to becos, i dnt want anything polygamy, or kids 4rm different dad or mum.

such things happen these days, signs of endtime

I really cant speak 4 most relationsp this days becos most r based on infatuations, but if u r in a committed relationship or planning marriage & there r secrets abt u or some dirty past which u nt ve told him or her, u r nt helping urself, u r only basing ur marriage on deceits & lies, & it wil come 2 hunt u later.If u ve truly change 4rm d past life u wil nt find it difficult 2 express urself, ur mind wil be clear,& even if d person leaves,u ve done d right thin & d right person wil come ur way.

Mrs.Chima:
Never share what will trigger your partner.

"Madam i dont agree wit u at all, & pls there r lots of married women reading this, lets teach d right thing. Ur husband reserves right 2 be angry becos no man wants dirty words 2 spoken 2 his wife. Ur right as a wife is 2 disclose such 2 him every time it happen, thats honesty.He wil learn 2 take wit time. Dont let him start speculating, we knw such things happen. Do d right thing pls.

Long One: Question for you; how do you explain these ‘unbelievers’ that get married and are still able to sustain their marriage till death do them part?
Not that I am trying to dispute your statement, rather, I agree, but it’s one of those few things that puzzles me.

i wil come 2 this in details, we r here 2 learn & see how homes & intending ones can get better. There r physical & spiritual angles 2 marriage. Physical success is what most f u measure.

an eye 4 an eye i guess, & 2 wrongs make a right 4 you. Nt hitting some one back is nt a sign of weakness.

Tgirl4real: gjcole's point can pass as a subjectivereasoning.

I really shd ve an idea of d exposure & d experience u ve gathered on marital matters 4 us 2 ve a constructive arguments. I dnt want 2 put u in d class of starters.

slimyem: Why is everyone preaching here? Isn't this thread supposed to be about addressing the questions the op asked as it applies to one?

Madam d topic s problem n marriage, & u cnt be deviating 4rm d truth. God is d author of marriage & its only him u can go to when there r storms, i m nt saint either, u can check my old posts here, I ve requested 4 help here a lot, about my home, & i can tell u som advices really help. If all marriage issues can be solved d world wil

4 me i think d woman shd just check herself, she may ve contributed somehow, becos dis distrust dnt just happen without some signs, & wit so many cases of failing paternity test these days,There s man dat up tildate he can get himself, becos 3 out f 4 kids failed d tests when goin abroad 4 skool. Is it d fault f kids?no, shd d shoulder d problems they dnt knw abt? no too, d woman may ve even changed 4 gud. I think its just 2 accept life & move on. I dnt want 2 loose my 2 kids Dna or no Dna.

greatgod2012: Doing dt implies dt he doesnt trust me, i will wait for him to get d result, i know d result will confirm his paternity, discussion with him, after which i will divorce/separate from him, there is no use/sense in staying with a man who cant/wont trust me.

& after then what happen, stay single or remarry, u think is as easy as that, divorce is what u dnt wish 4 ur enemy, U will leave ur home 4 another woman, what happens 2 d kids. I guess u r joking.

contd........ Nt a man that has plenty girlfriends, or a lady that is sleeping around. He also said if u cannot hold ur body get married, becos every act of fornication destroys one in marriage. U cant eat ur cake & ve it. Our forefathers had gud marriages becos they faithful 2 one another & wit little or no sex b4 marriage. Pls lets preach d right thing, i m nt saint, i made lots of mistakes too b4. But thats d way 2 get it right. too much civilisatn is just killing us.

Tgirl4real: That is not true. Just just mis-quoted and mis-interpreted scriptures. Jesus and Paul actually said in the bible that it is better not to marry. 1 Corthians 7

we need 2 understand d bible when we read it, God precisely in Gen said it is nt gud a man to be alone, dats why eve was created, God created a woman out of a man, if there was no need 4 an help, women woudnt be existing. Now paul was talking as an advice nt by law, & its 4 those dat can abstain, contd.....

4 those having issues in marriage, i dont advocate divorce at all, i ve had so many issues in my marriage too, becos i didnt set d right foundatn & we wedded wit pregnancy & too many physical attraction & little or no spritual at all. She also has admitted dat we need work on our marriage spiritualy, which we r doing. So i tell people dont get divorced, u can make dat marriage to work, if only u r determined, lets nt copy d western world, theres is a failure as far as marriage is concerned.