₦airaland Forum

u dnt ve 2 agree 2 al i wrote here, but those that really want their husband happy will see some points in it. Ur husband is ur head & his happiness is ur happiness. Submit to him unconditional, respect him even when he s wrong, let his conscience fight him, obey b4 complain,& when he calms, u can humbly explain things to him. No matter hw difficult ur husband is, he is a human being & God can always change him, go to him in prayer.I wish u al a happy home. Jidegirl u r an exanple of a real woman.

@ moderator, i think johndoe is somehow correct, some of those ladies u ve there, r d one requesting their hubby being a houseboy, doing d domestic chores 4 them @ home, is that what u want us 2 come & learn? let us not pass wrong things 2 d younger generations pls. Some homes r suffering becos of their advices here, i dont even pray 4 my wife 2 be close 2 any of them. D only female worthy 4 me here is Jidegirl, & her name is not even on ur list, her comments tend towards a virtous woman.

(12) Avoid any tendency 2 love other men more than ur husband, that wil make u compare him wit other men. Love him above any other person on earth (13) Usually send a note of love to his phone & when he travels, show him how u missed him. (14) Dnt forget those things u did during d early days 2 win his heart, Men never outgrow these things. (15) Let ur luv be genuine not circumstantial, love him even when thing r not ok. (16) Seek 2 please him always, dress 2 his admiration, cook 2 please him,

i wil nt allow some of u perfectionist to derail this thread, some married & single ladies r learning becos they want happy homes. Men r toys, if u knw how 2 play wit ur own determines hw u enjoy him. More of it (11) One most important key 2 making ur husband happy is luv. Develop & shw him genuine luv & care 4 him. Tel him how handsome & gud he looks.Learn 2 touch & embrace him, do it regularly until he believes u really love him. Anything u do 2 make ur man happy is never 2 much.

Guitarlife: Now we know marriage is just a business enterprise he who has ear let him hear o.

very funny my brother,there could be some really bad situations, that one cannot help, but dis issue can stil be managed if one s willing. One area Debrief really didnt tell us is hw she may ve contributed to d problem. D man & d woman in an abusive marriage both ve faults. If it is really a biz venture, & u had failed @ one, & may be havin problem in d other, will u want 2 leave too?

ok Tgirl 4real, i understand, 2 really get someone of those experience could be difficult. But some f those ladies u ve there, its all about ur marriage is not going fine, u r being abused, pack out, its better 2 be alive than stay there, that always their advice here & some guys there wil say things, they cant accept 4rm wives, is that what u want singles & newly married 2 start copying. I ve wanted 2 close my NL id becos of some f their comments. let people nominate & we judge them

( it takes very little things that woman r ignorant of to put smile in ur husband's face. A language f respect in ur mouth, joyfully serving dat food & a smiling face while doing ur duty etc. can make ur husband love u d more (9) A woman who wants a happier, better & richer home will obey her husband in every little thing. It is d thing u fail 2 obey that wil make ur husband sad (10) Dont disobey or forget d desires or instructions of ur husband even when he is not around, he wil cherich u

(3) Be faithful wit money, a man wants 2 tell u how his money & even urs is spent. Tell him b4 giving out money 2 ur family members or anybody. (4) Be humble no matter what u earn or makes, that is only when d money can be a blessing in ur home. (5) Trust ur husband even if he is wrong, a marriage cannot survive without trust. (6) Dont be too extravagant, it can lead d family 2 bankruptcy or jeopardise ur marriage. (7) Never tell lies but be frank in ur dealings

I believe women hold so much sway in making d home a success, i have a long list of some of those things women can do 2 make their husband happy. (1) make him 2 trust u; when a woman gives room 4 her husband 2 trust her, he goes any lenght 2 be a blessing 2 her. Be transparent in ur dealings wit him & d members of his family. (2) Do not compare ur husband or marriage wit others.Men dont like it.... contd

I m not against ur idea o, it is until when we see it, that i really can comment. I dnt knw d criteria u used in arriving @ those names, as a moderator, i dont think it is fair 4 u nominate people & some of d names u mentioned have postedsome comments that are unbecoming of a married person. This is a family section 4 God sake, D yrs of experience shd be d 1st criteria & anybody wit less than 15-20 yrs married life is not qualified. That is my thought

debrief08: Promotion oh my brother, happy because I have been away most of the year due to pregnancy related bedrest, maternity leave etc. I am ssuprised, I wasn't expecting one this year. I will still send more, just got the mail and out of the office, don't carry plenty cash around

more recharge cards, i got out of it, too gud 2 be thru, this is d begining of ur blessing & more better days ahead 4 all of us. Congrats

what r u celebrating? Anyway i rejoice wit who is rejoicing, so that my own can come too.

Abusing a woman, whatsoever, s not gud & shd not be encourage, but there r s no gud Pastor that wil tel u to pack out of ur home, Debrief pointed hw nice & generous her Ex was, & dis does nt show a real bad person. D fact s, some gud guys & ladies can loose at any time, & most times, d woman in an abusive marriage can nt be exonorated.There was a time my wife was always naging & we quarelled a lot, later i had 2 develop d silent approach & it worked, if i had 2 resolve 2 abuse, na diferent strory

if she is an infidel,but that is if she is nt remorseful abt it & stop completely, though d marriage cannt be like b4, but its better 4 me 2 forgive becos there r nothing that says d next woman would nt do worse. & 4 d sake f my kids, i woud not want. i can practically seperate 4rm an infidel if i cant cope, but i wouldnt marry again or ve other kids else where, i ve seen 2many polygamous wahala, that i m nt ready 2 create any, stay in ur marriage & work it out, God is able

some one onced asked, do u stay in marriage when u r constantly being abused, d issue is d husband cannot just start abusing his wife 4 no cause, though i dnt support this, but d one that wants out wil always magnify this issue, it take 2 to tangle & it takes 2 to fight, i read some f Debrief comments in d past, & i ve seen her controlling nature, which i think so many guys woundnt take, so i m nt too surprised she was once married. I usually say dat d only reason i can divorce my wife ..... contd

contd....... she practically used her resources 2 lift d guy up, i m nt laying all d blame on women, i knw there r so many gud ladies, who r ready 2 make their homes work. My policy is what makes u think, d next person will be better, so many divorce cases could ve been prevented, we r becoming too sophisticated, i keep saying this, there r headaches in marriage, no matter how u plan 4 it, u ve 2 manage d headache, u cant say becos i can stand alone, so gud riddance 2 it, i knw there r mistakes &

contd..... there is a multinational in which a particular period, abt 15 to 20 ladies were divorcing their husbands anually 4 like 5yrs, we analysed it & we were wondering why it was so, d men in this company were nt leaving their wives, why d ladies? d reasons r nt far fetched, d ladies r financially far better than their husbands, & u knw what can happen when a woman has an upper hand in a marriage, some few ladies can manage this financial sucess no doubt, infact a lady in dat particular coy,

@ maclatunji, sorry i took time 2 answer u, i ve been busy wit RDM & chelsea issue, to answer ur question: YES, one can walk out or leave a marriage dat is not working, but there r conditions for it. My argument is this: marriage itself is not all rosy rosy, there r so many ups & down, hence d vow: 4 better 4 worse, d ability 2 manage those tough times is d enduring spirit. I speak like this becos i ve had & seen so many divorced ladies & their reasons r just unfounded.......... contd

cont..... after all d commitment, i dnt like men dat beat their wives, but hw did it get to that point, if d man was nt like that b4, what says he cannot change, infidelity is major factor 4 divorce, but hw wil a man that was having several girlfriend b4 marriage or a woman with other attachs other than her fiance not be an infidel, endure whatever u ve created 4 urself, but i believe d women ve lots more to do 4 a marriage 2 be successful. thats my thought

contd...... 4 a marriage 2 work, i think a lot ve 2 do wit d woman, lack of trust these days & indenpence on d part of women, its very very easy 4 a woman that is so independent 2 walk out of her marriage when its nt working, some dnt even want any headache @ all, its nt wrong 4 a woman 2 be succesful, but she has 2 submit at all times 2 her husband, & that is where d problem lies. There r some few bad men no doubt, but i dnt think a sensible man wil nt want his marriage 2 work, ..... contd

maclatunji: I once created a thread to try and see the big picture from all angles and sides. Kindly tell me the things that both sides in a marriage should be willing to endure for the purpose of a successful marriage in your opinion.

i like d way you put it, in my own opinion, Endurance is also perseverance, both sides in a marriage ve 2 endure everything, u ve to go all way & all lenght to ensure ur marriage works, contd

I ve been trying 2 stay away 4rm dis section becos of some comments & bad advices from some people who r not married or could not hold their marriage.To find a gud spouse, it takes d grace of God, Debrief can testify to that, it is not just all abt what she wrote there, thats why i respect women that strives 2 keep their marriage in d midst of challenges, Our ladies r becoming too exposed nowadays & that is why marriages r nt working & will nt work. Endurance is d key.

youngdady: Ahahaha, madam dey collect all my kini b4 I start out in the morning so she'll never get that. I appreciate all thesame.

so u dnt it will get to this point when u started, u ignited fire because of fun, with another man's wife, u wan come run. U r also married abi, d koboko u use for another man is surely coming 2 u, no worry at all.

youngdady: Ahahaha, madam dey collect all my kini b4 I start out in the morning so she'll never get that. I appreciate all thesame.

so u dnt it will get to this point when u started, u ignited fire because of fun, with another man's wife, u wan come run. U r also married abi, d koboko u use for another man is surely coming 2, no worry at all.

jennykadry: And then we wonder why people with your mentality are denied visa?

wetin i wan come live in ur country for, i can only travel 4 a visit, i m ok wit my african style, it suits me, my Dad is stil wit my mom @ old age, she cooks very well 4 him & does d house chores. I choose nt 2 marry a career lady becos f all these. What s d use of husband & wife running around 4 cash, wit nobody 2 take care of d kids. Domestic chores is largely wife 's duty,

oyin50: You people are only deceving urselves. A man should not be in the kitchen unless probably when his wife is indisposed, like sick, pregnant,Even God gave Adam a role and eve her role.you asked urselves y divorce rate is higher, depression level goinh higher. Abeg you men are an embarrassment. Despite my grandparents wealth, grandma never allowed baba eat a maid's food.

tell them, no wonder some of them cant hold on to one man. My wife never allow me to eat maid's food.

@ Debrief 08 pls answer this question, we are here 2 learn & get better. I know there r roles in a home, What is d role of a husband & wife in a marriage? i might be able to understand u better. & i ve also heard about gender equality, what is ur take on that? debriefly pls

@ jidegirl, i dnt ve problems wit debrief, i can help my wife wit domestic chores, sometimes i just do it 4 fun, but 4 both f us to sit down & drawn up plans on chores becos she is helping wit d bills, dats one pass me o. A man that is really busy will nt ve time 4 dat, & if my wife is equally busy, then she gets a house help, I dnt support women being over worked, U ladies shd go & listen to Nike Adeyemi & knw hw real women live & stop these western stuffs

ileobatojo: What is the benefit of trying to speak sense to a brick wall, I wonder? Brick is dense AND porous you know?

It does not take too much, to know a woman that clearly lack respect. U will surely do d same to your husband in d house.

jidegirl12: Mr Benjamin Cole( lovely name by the way ) chill ax .. and take some clonazipam
Over where sir

well since u ve given me benjamin cole, no qualms, i just dont like d way u girls r taking this issue. I almost got married 2 one lady that works wit Agip some yrs ago, i envisaged this & i had 2 back out, she doesnt cook, only restaurants, even 2 help me wit house chores was wahala. This my wife when we were dating, my friends usually come 2 my house 4 lunch.

debrief08: Oga Sir, I live in Nigeria, Married to a Nigerian,And for Nigerian Marriages lasting, visit a magistrate court on tuesday and thursday & see many divorce cases are being filed and tried

naija marriage is still better, & its this ur mentality that breaks most homes. I ve read too much of how gud ur husband is in domestic chores here that i wonder if he is really d man @ home. I dont think u shd be celebrating this, if he enjoys it gud 4 him, but it is nt his role

debrief08: Descend low how Sir? Is it not our home? What about the bills we share is that descending low too? lol

U share wit him becos u have it, u can imagine after being a bachelor all these while, eating junk foods, i will now marry & still be in charge of d kitchen, God forbid bad thing. If u dnt ve time 2 cook 4 ur hubby, someone dat knows how, will soon collect am, period