₦airaland Forum

MrBrownJay1:
- the home has already been destroyed (by the husband)
- better for children to have 2 happy parents that don't live together, than 2 miserable ones living together
- why stay married to this useless man if she needs another one to shine her honey pot?
- do you believe every woman is a slut like their cheating husband
- when the husband finally catch a deadly disease from these oloshos and die, do you think there will be peace and joy?

MrBrownJay, in a marriage, what should be most important to a woman: a man's fidelity or his love? By fidelity, I mean faithfulness (as in, not cheating with other women) but some lax, indifferent attitude that shows a lack of love or a man who loves, respects and fulfills his financial obligations to the last letter, but has a mistress who practices safe sex with him?

MrBrownJay1:
the only way to be happy is to get rid of NEGATIVE/POISONOUS people from your life, as only a dumb fool would have NO expectation from the man she married. if women should have NO expectations from their husbands then why should they marry that donkey then? whether the next one will be better or worst is completely IRRELEVANT. that man is useless and this lady should gt rid of that animal... and should try her best to find a man who will treat her with RESPECT.... a TRUSTWORTHY/FAITHFUL man. only a very insecure low self esteem person would stay with such useless man.
what you wrote above is not only very dumb, its also very dangerous.

Man never learns: Constantly trying hard since the time of Adam to find happiness by attaching to the creature and setting reasonable expectations for themselves? If man were setting expectations, contingent on what he does or does not do, that would be understandable.

I guess you would pat that woman or man in the back who has, as you said, " gotten rid of that negative energy" from their lives in five different marriages at the slightest evidence of a cheating partner. It's okay, she deserves better. No one deserves a second chance?

It's not her fault, after all. These men are scum, but she doesn't realize that from time immorial people are scum and yet, she projects her expectations on people and gets pissed off when they renege on the agreement. It doesn't matter if the sixth marriage would encounter a similar fate. It doesn't. She's got to get that bad energy out LMAO. You'd get rid of bad energy tire. Is she better off after the fifth divorce?

No, I mean people are not that bad? Oh, yeah?

See ehn, you can only find happiness in God and yourself, not in me, your friends, or people. People will always disappoint but what do you do when they do?

I don't want to be double-tongued, but again, I am not in the truest sense, saying we shouldn't have standards or we shouldn't hold our dearest ones to reasonable standards. I am saying we should be somewhat lax about it especially when things so south. People's standards have spurred them to crazy, mad decisions because they have "standards. " Who doesn't anyway? What happens when they break them? I don't think marriages should be over at the slightest evidence of an unfaithful partner, that's all I am saying. That's extreme on both sides. I mean, two wrongs never make a right.

franchasng:
lol, true. Men are born polygamous and whether we take it or not, that is the saddest truth. All those cheating women are only trying to be as bad as men as a consolation or in their effort to tame men by letting men know they can also cheat, but they cannot be as bad as men who are born explorers

Can you back up your claims. I'm not here to argue.

Saintmary:
Provide examples of repentant cheating husbands Oga, please make sure they have been married for longer than 20 years.

I don't have to prove anything to you. Once a cheat, always a cheat? You don't believe that a chronic smoker of 20 years can give up smoking? And not just smoking but any addictions.

Fountainofyouth:
Yes she should leave, would you stay when there is a little evidence of unfaithfulness from your wife?

Lol, would I stay? I am not vindictive lol. Oh, she did it, I am out. No.

I already made that clear in one of my post. I would leave if I encountered a cheating partner. Cheating is an action word. How many graces would be determined by a lot of other factors surrounding the event. Different strokes for different folks jare.... I pray you don't end up like that woman who's had five husbands because las las, I mean if providence doesn't smile on you, you would give up on men and sexual relations (if you need love to have sex). Even if providence smiles on you, you shouldn't be too sure that your hubby would not cheat 30 years later. You can't even say that of yourself. Stop having expectations sister. That's the fastest way to die quickly.

Kamani8:
If u have evidence. And there's no concrete explanation as to why it happened and a conviction that it won't happen again.
Infidelity is the only reason that has biblical backing to seperate from one's spouse.
It's dangerous living with a cheating spouse. He can kill u to clear way for the outsider.

Wait first sef, are you married? There's almost always no concrete explanation as to why people cheat except that we have sinful remains that draws us to lust. It's that simple. So it's your own conviction that determines the future of the marriage? Once a cheat, always a cheat. Dead wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong for goodness sake.

Kamani8:
Would you give this same advice if the woman is the cheating partner?
I need answer pls

In marriage, I encourage fleeing, but certainly not before repeated dialogue. I don't understand why a man or woman would flee at the slightest evidence of a cheating partner. Makes sense?

Kamani8:
I'd say run as far as your legs can carry u until the man in question borrow sense. STDs are real

You didn't answer me. I mean when is she supposed to flee. Yes or no. Immediately she discovers her husband's unfaithfulness?

Kamani8:
Thank God this is coming from a man. It gives me joy that there are still great n disciplined men out there who will call a spade a spade.

The only tested and trusted remedy to a cheating husband is leave him. Walk away with your kids before he infects u with stds or evn kill u so he can marry whoever he's cheating with.
This is 2020, women must borrow sense and stay away from people who have such mentality as ops towards marriage.
The man cheated n the woman is d one at fault? Lord have mercy!

Cheating is an action word. When do people leave their cheating spouse?

Fountainofyouth:
They always want females to be at the receiving all the time, they never want us to fight for ourselves, and when the enlightened ones fight, they automatically call them feminists or men haters, why the hell will any sane human do the above nonsense to a cheating husband

Sorry, em, i don't get you. What is she supposed to do? Flee at every slight evidence of unfaithfulness?

MrBrownJay1:
ARRANT NONSENSE!!!!
the only way to deal with a cheating partner is to LEAVE his disrespectful/deceitful/unfaithful/untrustworthy self.

the above rubbish is just to try to please and lower yourself to such cheating animal...but that would NEVER solve anything because YOU are not the problem here....that cheating demon is!

Oh nice, dump his ass and you think that's the solution? And then you find someone else whose ass would be dumped too and on and on and on - dumping people's ass because they are unfaithful. The only way to be happy is to have no expectations because when you do have expectations then I'm scared, you'll always be disappointed. God's chief creature who was made a little lower than the angels has become a little better than the devil. My point? That is not the solution. Nt all. There's no guarantee that the next person would be better, not at all.

Graxie:
I pity your daughters.

How exactly?

Teaorcoffee:
5 days more.. Somebody help!!!

Aunty, how did you get this job? Online? Where? I need job abeg.

I have a Bsc in Mathematics. Do you advice I move over to ABJ and move from door to door?? Can you link me up abeg?

CAPSLOCKED:
YOUR FOLKS DO NOT LIMIT THEIR CHRISTIANITY TO NAIRALAND'S RELIGIOUS SECTION ALONE. OUR TIMELINES ON FACEBOOK AND TWITTER ARE OCCUPIED WITH SERMONS AND CHRISTIAN TALES.

OKAY I'M GOING TO GO OFFLINE NOW BUT THERE'S GONNA BE A CRAZY PREACHER IN EVERY VEHICLE I THINK OF BOARDING, ASKING ME SILLY QUESTIONS LIKE ARE YOU BORN AGAIN? ARE YOU SAVED? IF YOU DIE TODAY, DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOING TO?

OKAY IF I DECIDE TO TREK I'LL BE COUNTERED ON MY WAY BY HANDBILL DISTRIBUTORS, INVITING ME TO ONE NONSENSE CHRISTIAN GATHERINGS OR THE OTHER.

I CAN'T EVEN DRIVE IN PEACE. THEY'LL SLIP THEIR BILLS WHEN THEY SPOT THAT MY GLASS IS DOWN. AT NIGHT NKO? NO SLEEP FOR ME. ONE NOISY VIGIL OR ANOTHER.


BUT ONCE I SPEAK UP, I'M ACCUSED OF RELIGIOUS INTOLERANCE, AND I'M URGED TO KEEP MY OPINIONS IN MY WALLET. HOW DO YOU CHRISTIAN FOLKS EVEN HAVE THE GUTS?

Do you write in capitals all the time or is this unique to nairaland? Have you mistakenly written in lower case here before?

Eleganza33:
The pain no be for here o i usually takes indomithacin tablets when ever my monthly visitor come,i just can't wait to get married and have a baby to put a stop to it.

Your word is one of the outcome of God's providential dealings with women. Take care, you'll be fine.

Damfostopper:
not marketing..... I was among the new recruits..... it was for Bank teller position........ unfortunately I had to drop out from UBA after I received another offer letter to resume work with First Bank

Did you apply to both online? When did you apply? How do I apply if any is till ongoing?

Sorry, for these questions.

Offpoint:
lol, if thunder fire you in your dream will that be unusual?

I no fit laugh abeg.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Did I accept to give u chicken? What about your saving all through d year?

Lol, I yam only joking about the chicken, I meant turkey.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Seen what exactly

I have not seen the chicken. Didn't you read my previous comment?

AwkaetitiBabe:
True. So we should blame parents for not grooming their kids to be self reliant

I yaf not seen it.

Mindfulness:
No feeling ugly does.

Is feeling ugly as bad and dangerous as the attendant discomfort that comes with pregnancy? Do we give the go-ahead to do whatever she wants because she bears the problems, pain and houses the baby?

sassysure:
I actually do understand @op very well.
His presentation was a put off to many.
He jumbled everything together and it came off with negative vibe.
He is the type that get turned on seeing women in low cut. We have few of them. The same way we want our men to wear beard, have muscled and toned abs etc.

He should coarse and explain himself better to her concerning that separately without mixing it up with other problems.

It's one of his fancy. I hope she indulges him.
Some things aren't worth the fight. One day he will get tired and hairs continue to grow.

Unless he is saying she should stop taking care of her hair strictly because it costs them a lot. In which case, he should let her know that she should reduce what she spends on her hair and still look good to him. It's not about how much but how it fits. He should know how to project that without sounding self centered.

I think the bolded makes sense.

That said, men have the tendency to dismiss other's opinion as weird and invalid because it doesn't go down well and that is what all the female and male commenters here are doing. I don't see any big deal in OP's demand sha. From the enthusiasm of OP's words, I can confidently infer that his feelings are real. Whether the OP made up this story on NL just for discussion or not is what I am not sure about.

Mindfulness:
You could suggest to your partner what you think would look good on them but you should never expect them to do something they are not comfortable with. It's very simple.

So one's comfort always comes first in marriage?

shestrong:
I understand ur point of view and to an extent ure correct but why did he not go for his spec? i do not evn know y i am taking panadol for anodas headache.

Lol.

. Yeah you maybe Right,but I strongly believe maths is the bedrock of engineering and science...I will be glad if my wife can play with numbers with my kids when am out hustling,if you know you know, in-between knowledge in mathematics is not the only thing there..A lady with high IQ is a babe for me anyday anytime.

The hearts wants what it wants.

There's this aura, this fragrance that exudes when you use formulas and mathematical brilliance to solve life problems, like you just see others as idiots who should be incarcerated, lol.

Back when I was on a site, look at this screenshot which I took, as in eh, when I show folks they just take a step backwards and they are like where do we go from here, or where do we even begin.

Bro, although having a good housewife doesn't in the least guarantee a good home or a happy marriage, please follow your heart, don't settle for anything less; you deserve better . Mathematicians are dope creatures hahahaha.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Yes! Did you attend Shiloh? God said ask and you will receive, seek and you shall find. Do not settle for what you won't b proud of.

Merry Christmas... A woman with a wide heart.

Send my chicken through the web. At least that's the least you can do for me for wishing you well.

cococandy:
Why don’t you cut your own hair and admire yourself?

All these married children self

If the table were reversed: the poster had been OP's wife, saying, "Wigs and long hair make me miserable. My husband doesn't want me to be clean shaven and I have had to repeat it to him many time, but he has always reiterated time and time and times again that wigs and other feminine hair style is a turn on for him, and make him attracted to me."

Question: In all honesty, what would you do?

So because he's a man, his opinions and preference and desires are not valid and he has no rights to determine his partner's choice.

If OP goes ahead (goes bald) and husband cheats because he is no longer sexually attracted (don't doubt it please, there are still men and women whose sexual attraction is contingent on physical attraction) to her on account of her hairstyle, who is to blame?

shestrong:
U should have married someone on lowcut man! Y are u stressing ur wife like dis? let that woman be, a woman's hair is part of her beauty.

Yes, absolutely, but she (and you) cannot be beautiful for everyone, and beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Who does a good wife wants to appear most beautiful to? Her customers? Colleagues? Neighbours? Who exactly? don't tell me it's what I am thinking.

You do realize, don't you, that beauty and sexual attraction are at the heels of each other? I am curious

Mindfulness:
Even if he did tell her his preference for low cut during courtship, she has the right to cut her hair the way she feels comfortable. The attitude some people have on this forum towards their spouses is very unhealthy. I have the impression that some people derive their sense of self and self-worth from being selfish and bossy instead of being the person that lifts their partners up to be and feel the best they can.

You seem to be looking at this guy's plight from the negatives based on since it's my body then it's my choice beliefs.

Does she have the rights to be clean shaven in this instance because it boosts her self esteem and it makes her feel more feminine and comfortable even if the husband is totally repulsed and violated by it? Why doesn't he have such rights, after all, to be clean shaven is all he ever wants and having all the extras makes her miserable? I am serious, there are women like that bro!!!!

I am just curious with this body-choice debate.

Also, in pregnancy, does a married woman have the rights to terminate the fetus against her husband's wishes or do anything for that matter since it's her body (she has every right to do whatever she wants, after all, she houses the fetus and get to make the decision) in this case and carrying to term is NOT what she envisions (having a baby) in the next two, three or four years?

On the other hand, if she doesn't want to terminate and the husband absolutely does, would the husband's rights be violated if she doesn't?

The truth is, as humans, we have mutually exclusive preference and someone has got to have it. Who is going to always have his way? What metric should be used?

donshady:
AMAZON GIFT CARD AVAILABLE

$100*3 & $50*1.

CASH RECEIPT ���

Check my signature.

This guy is very, very legit, haha. Please trade without caution. Lol.

MelesZenawi:
I used to tell people that liberalism is a sign of mental disorder.


A Democrats dominated house of Representatives Impeached president Trump and now wants a Senate dominated Republicans to also do so.

[b]Imagine Pelosi saying "we hope they will be fair to us"........Was she fair to Trump.

Republicans should rubbish those articles when finally Pelosi got the nerves to send them.


In McConnell's voice "I am in no hurry"[/b]

Lmao that's right. It's very funny how people think.

[quote author=donshady post=85026240][/quote]I just called you. I'll send first.