₦airaland Forum

Hmmmm

Hshshsh

RiP

[b]Laugh be wan kill me yesterday when I
heard one of my Anambra friend pronounced
ELECTION as ER-ECTION. The thing be say
ehn, we dey discuss about this forthcoming
US presidential election, the party and
candidate wey go win and the one wey go
loose.
.
Na im this my guy come talk say na
DEMOCRAT go win. E don tey wey me I dey
support REPUBLICAN and I still maintain my
stand on that. Judging from the maximum
respect I have for Ben Carson-the ever
revered unprecedented Neurosurgeon.
.
Na so the matter come reach sotey this guy
come vex say " Wait! make I tell you, na
HIRRALY CRINTON go win this ERECTION"
he pitched his point on how influential she
has grown to become over the years and
how long she has served the states ,her
transparency etcetera...for that, she
commands a lot of influence which would
aid and spur people's interest to vote for
her...Well, my concern wasn't all about his
points but this our mother tongue. How it
could rubbish and embarrass us sometimes.
.
Imagine this Pun. Hillary Clinton winning
EREC-TION[/b]

[/b][/i]Laugh be wan kill me yesterday when I
heard one of my Anambra friend pronounced
ELECTION as ERECTION. The thing be say
ehn, we dey discuss about this forthcoming
US presidential election, the party and
candidate wey go win and the one wey go
loose.
.
Na im this my guy come talk say na
DEMOCRAT go win. E don tey wey me I dey
support REPUBLICAN and I still maintain my
stand on that. Judging from the maximum
respect I have for Ben Carson-the ever
revered unprecedented Neurosurgeon.
.
Na so the matter come reach sotey this guy
come vex say " Wait! make I tell you, na
HIRRALY CRINTON go win this ERECTION"
he pitched his point on how influential she
has grown to become over the years and
how long she has served the states ,her
transparency etcetera...for that, she
commands a lot of influence which would
aid and spur people's interest to vote for
her...Well, my concern wasn't all about his
points but this our mother tongue. How it
could rubbish and embarrass us sometimes.
.
Imagine this Pun. Hillary Clinton winning
ERECTION[/i][/b]

[/b][/i]Laugh be wan kill me yesterday when I
heard one of my Anambra friend pronounced
ELECTION as ERECTION. The thing be say
ehn, we dey discuss about this forthcoming
US presidential election, the party and
candidate wey go win and the one wey go
loose.
.
Na im this my guy come talk say na
DEMOCRAT go win. E don tey wey me I dey
support REPUBLICAN and I still maintain my
stand on that. Judging from the maximum
respect I have for Ben Carson-the ever
revered unprecedented Neurosurgeon.
.
Na so the matter come reach sotey this guy
come vex say " Wait! make I tell you, na
HIRRALY CRINTON go win this ERECTION"
he pitched his point on how influential she
has grown to become over the years and
how long she has served the states ,her
transparency etcetera...for that, she
commands a lot of influence which would
aid and spur people's interest to vote for
her...Well, my concern wasn't all about his
points but this our mother tongue. How it
could rubbish and embarrass us sometimes.
.
Imagine this Pun. Hillary Clinton winning
ERECTION[/i][/b]

MARKone:
Lol

Them no send una, make them begin issue them condoms sef for birth control.

This one na party...

StOla:
Nnamdi Kanu's case is a matter for the law courts. Don't hold your breath expecting a political solution, as Nigeria is willing to prove that the country is not a zoo as would be confirmed by a political solution to a criminal matter.

Be ready with your lawyers and put up a strong defence. Hopefully the judge would find Mr Director worthy of Nigeria's mercy if he shows any spirit of patriotism to the motherland, and direct him to a light jail term.

This has been the major thing that got me wondering what the IPOB's activists intend to archive. When you call your own suppose colonial country(Nigeria) 'Zoo', the president a 'rapist' and all manners of ill, disgusting and irksome profanities, you still want them to peacefully grant you your request.

The due process needs to be followed on a bid to give room for justice to speak for itself.

I speedily walked past several groups of people who are doing their business, took my left then followed the narrow boulevard that connects the main road which leads to upper iweka.

When I came out, I stood close to the road waiting for a bus that will take me to upper iweka then I 'll trek down to our street even though it was like a stone thrown from main market . Not too long, I saw one old painted green bus looking more like a dilapidated Indian made sedan with its pixels rattling, and four tyres wobbling coming adjacent from my left where I stood. I quickly hopped-onto the moving vehicle almost immediately is it crawled past me.

Then, I sat down and fumbled inside my pocket, brought out my newly acquired Chinese technology. Only God knows how wide my shoulder were cos I was feeling like an emir of Kano at that moment. I thought of how smart I was first ; by cunning my way out of those dreaded contingents who had threatened to lock me up in their guard room. Secondly, I saw myself as a good bargainer who overtly who made it to slash-off N300 off the actual price that was written on the price tag.

After

johnydon22:
Yeah am december born boss.. Uuuhm little wonder what sir?

...you are this brilliant. I learnt most genius are december born.

ogmaskman:
This onu guy looks to me like someone with something upstairs. Let's see how he will bring that to bear in the science and technology ministry.
Honestly, as important as this ministry in world economics today, it's still like one ministry that is giving to to someone make e for nor loss (as the warri man would say)
Chief onu Pls bring out the shine in this ministry and put us in our rightful place in world technology matters.

Nuf Said...

Yeah, he's doctor emeritus.

johnydon22:
The man don deh old shaa.. liked this man cus of his neatness tho.. His recent scandal with his wife reduced my respect for him a bit cus i believe a man's first obligation is to his wife. . . Well he is my partner in the december birth month

Really? So you are December born? ...oh! Little wonder...

TonyeBarcanista:
I'm not a Romancelander

A Politilander I suppose?

What has that got to change? She should be ashamed of her self. When others are happy praising God for preserving their lives, she 's the stripping to show the whole world herself.


Perhaps acting ain't giving her the recognition she 'd been craving for that's why she now decide to seek for another means.

achi4u:
Na who compiled this Ogbanje list?
What is Ebonyi state doing on that list?
A state that generate more fund than Osun, ogun, Ekiti and their like is poor?
Ndiara

Don't mind those mofos. Ebonyi state, whose IGR is somewhere loosely above N11.8b. Ebonyi state is nowhere close to the 15th poorest states in Nigeria.

Whoever that compiled this list must be sick in the head. How can you rank Ebonyi state 7th among the poorest states in Nigeria?

Have you pressed to know the worth her IGR? It's 2nd to highest in the SS after the Anambras'.
Ebonyi state doesn't solely depends on federal allocations, they have several source of generating their income.

You guys needs to dig deep before coming to speculate what you do not have any clue about.

[img]I was you seat him down and talk one on one. Things like this, If not curbed at this early stage might lead to destruction of your marriage.

Get wise and act fast!!![/img]

I can still recall it like it happened yesterday. It was on that faithful sunny Friday afternoon when the blaring sun was threatening to burn everything that emits carbon four oxide. I hastily sprout-off from the couch in the parlour when my phone rang, briskly walked into our visitors' room where I had neatly arranged all my ironed clothes in my newly acquired samsonite brown leather bag. Picked up my casual navy coloured blue jeans, white singlet and my red t-shirt. Wore them and walked out of the house.




Few years ago after my stay with one of my cousin brother at Fegge, I went to Emeka Offor's plaza to buy one Chinese phone called Gi-tide that was in vogue then.

When I stepped-in to the plaza, some guys were beckoning on me to buy phone from them while some other guys declared interest to help me buy the desired phone that I needed.
Finally, I chose to follow one slender guy (that was relatively smaller than I was then) who offered to take me to where I 'll buy the phone cheaper and also get the best quality that will last for long. My reason was that I could take it up with him if he decides to act funny not knowing that they have strings of contingent scattered all over the whole places.

To cut the story short, I followed him to the main plaza where we finally bought the phone from one particular fair lady after haggling on the price. Then I payed the lady who sold the phone to me and we walked downstairs to the open busy areas where there were lots of other guys that sat adjacent to each other with their laptops downloading music for some their customers.

While we were at the upstairs, the guy asked if I 'd like to download music,videos and pictures and I nodded in affirmative with the excitement that had filled my heart because of the new phone I 'd just acquired for myself without knowing that he hhas some aces up his sleeves.

We walked straight downstairs, followed right then turned left in the array of DJs and some phone retailers that sampled their phones in a transparent show glasses. We walked passed them, move into the inner chamber of the suites. Then, he lead me to the extreme of the suit, introduced me to one huge guy with a frightening biceps.

Fear gripped me at the sight of that heavily built folk who could stand the then Simon Peter and win him outrightly but I never wanted to show my fears. Then I maintain my indifferent mood as he offered me chair. I sat down, fumbled inside my pocket and brought out my new phone then shown him. He complimented me after tossing it around.

"Nnah, Ekwenti gi a mechiri akwukwo" ( this your phone makes sense) See the kind phone wey you go buy. How much kill this machine " he asked rather sarcastically. I laughed and thanked him. Then I proudly told him how much I bought the phone with intent of that he'll shutdown every other thing and focus on my G-tide.

The truth was that I loved that phone, the features and how easy it was to operate. I had once seen it with a schoolmate (friend) the first time I travelled to Nnewi to visit one of my cousin. We bombed into each other while I was returning from an errand my auntie sent me.

We exchanged pleasantries amid joy and happiness with an unprecedented surprise I had never had then at Nnewi. I never thought I would ran into a friend like that. In short, he was the last person I was hoping to see. We never discussed it. Although, he told me he might travel to Lagos amid conversation. Surprisingly, we met, greeted, discussed about few things and finally we decided to exchange numbers. I fumbled into my pocket, brought out my Nokia 1200 (twelve hundred) keyed-in his number as he freely called them out. I was left with my mouth ajar, eyes wide open immediately he brought out his ringing phone which I dialed.

"Wow" I grimaced out at the sight that beautiful Chinese technology called Gi-tide. From thence, I made up my mind that before I return back to Onitsha, that I 'll buy the phone. It was a promise and I was determined to fulfil it at all cost. Even though, it will amount to travelling back home without any other thing.

"Emeka, how much did you buy this phone?" I asked as I stretched forth my hand to collect the phone from him.

"Ugooo, honestly I don't know, I wasn't the one who bought it. It was my uncle. He didn't apprise me on how much he bought it but I know it wasn't more than four thousand Naira cos I over heard him saying something about G-tide and 4000 plus when he was discussing with a friend on phone..." At the hearing of four thousand naira, I made a quick calculations of how much I had in my bag there in Onitsha. Then I remembered the money I had saved from transport, afternoon foods and the one friends and my brother's customers dashed me that my money was totalling N4850.

Great! Am good to go...I was feeling like 2pac after analysing how much I have within my mind. I later came up with the conclusion that I will definitely buy the phone as soon as I stepped-in to Onitsha- my home base.

-----
I never wanted to show my fear especially when I looked up to his face and see the dark goggles he used to enshrined his two fierce looking socket-like eye.

I asked him amidst his compliment 'how much do you download songs, movies and pictures?' He told me that music is N20, movie N30 and pictures N10 for each of them. After telling me their prices, I did a mental calculation on how to download them.

I had N700 with me including my transport back to fegge. I thought of downloading 20musics for N400, 5movies for N150 and 5picture for N50 hoping that I 'll still have some balance that will be enough to cater for my T-fare back to my street.

I told him what I thought in the midst of the humming sound of Wizboyy's Owusagi track that was blaring from a six loader home theatre. I thought he heard me not knowing that it's was one of their gimmicks to disclaim that he didn't heard what I said cos he went ahead and transferred 403 songs with 5pictures and 5 music videos.

After fiddling with his mouse, he said that my money totalled N1,060. I screamed! "But I never say you should download such number for me" I barked with a stuttering voice.

"Listen young man! I don't have time for all this your cock and bull stories. If you don't want to pay me my money, I 'll cease your phone and lock you up with the market management until your brother will come and bail you." he retorted back at me with a deep baritone voice that sent a cold chill down my throat.
.
Fear caught me at the hearing of that his hunky voice, I can't imagine loosing my newly acquired phone to such deadly skin headed dude. And subsequently, I can't afford to inform my brother, cos I was covertly hiding it from him. I never wanted him to know that I bought a new phone. He will definitely get mad at me cos there are several other more important things I 'd have used the money for. But brewing egolistic tendency and the feel of self-importance in me, never gave room for second thought. All that was on my mind

I started begging them with all manner of sincerity feigning innocent face. I told him that the only money I had on me was N700 including my transport. That they should consider me and give me N50 which I 'll use for my transport.
All my pleas went on a deaf ear...

At the end, he agreed to give me back my phone after one of their(supposed) contingent interfered on the matter on my behalf. I was so elated that I promised to send the guy N750 MTN recharge card when I gets to the house. I borrowed their pen and wrote down his phone number, made to give him money from my pocket before I noticed that I was left with nothing.

I briskly walked away from the plaza down to the main road through a narrow boulevard, that connects to the main road which leads to Upper-Iweka. Several groups of businessmen and women were busy dusting and beckoning on passer-bys to patronise them almost at the same time.

Immediately I crossed the other end of the road, I made to flagged down a moving transit bus then jumped inside almost immediately, it occurred to me that it was filled to the brim with different set of people ranging from those whom I suppose was heading back to either Oba, Nnobi, Awka, or Asaba. I brought out my( nokia) phone, glanced through it and the time reads 16:48.

"Ah!, if I don't hurry up now, I might be held down on a gridlock. If my brother happens to return before me and I don't have any substantial reason to give, it might possibly result to another different thing." I thought.

I stood close to the road waiting for another bus that will take me to upper iweka then I would trek down to our street even though it was like a stone thrown from Upper Iweka.

Not too long, I saw one old green painted green looking more like a dilapidated Indian made sedan with its pixels rattling, and four tyres wobbling coming adjacent from my left where I stood. I quickly hopped onto the moving vehicle as it crawled past me.

I sat down and fumbled inside my pocket, brought out my newly acquired wonderful Chinese technology called Gi-tide. Only God knows how wide my shoulder were cos I was feeling like an emir of Kano at that moment. I thought of how smart I was;

First, by cunning and wriggling my way out of those dreaded contingents who had threatened to lock me up in their guard room. What would have been my fate if news happened to get to my senior brother that I was locked up in Emeka Offor's plaza cos I don't have money to pay for the music I downloaded? It would have been funny but if care is not taking, it would cost me my holiday's package. Imagine going for holidays and return empty handed. That's going to be an epic fail.

Secondly, I saw myself as a good bargainer who made it to slash-off N300 off the actual price that was bold written on the price tag I saw on the phone inside a show-glass.

9cccccc