₦airaland Forum

liver123:
I work in a building construction site as an engineer under this man as the main engineer. Last Saturday I went to work and on reaching site I sent him report of site. I stayed till afternoon and I was very hungry and coupled with the fact that there was no place to get something to eat at site, I decided to leave before closing time so that I can go home and eat since there is no serious work on site. He later came to site and called me and I told him that I am sorry I left because I was hungry. This morning I woke up to see his message that I should not come to the site again. I work like a labourer in that site for a salary of 50k without any other chance of getting money. See this life, the best thing is to invest in a business no matter how small and be your own boss. This I have tried for a one and half year of working with this man but how much can i save from 50k to start a business of my own leaving in this abuja that everything is expensive. This life no balance at all

Francisanointed:
Good morning my fellow nairalander
Pardon my grammatical errors.
I was the last person to close from work yesterday. The gatekeeper was feeling well,so he asked me to help him lock. Then, it started raining few minutes later. I was thinking what I am going to eat at home,no food. I only have gas. I was really more depressed when I thought about the provision stores in my area that I am owning. I am now hiding from them. But it is almost impossible. I own up to three provisions in my area. One almost disgrace me on Monday. I am owning
1. 300
2. 560
3. 1,810 this one was the one that almost disgrace me
4. 750 naira
So,while these thoughts were in my mind. I said in my mind. Since i don't have food to eat even when I get home,let me take some toiletries like soaps and tissues home. They were in different classes. I started to take them but as I continue to gather them . My conscience was speaking against me. I felt empty. I remembered a promised I made to myself after I lost my parents years ago. I told myself I will never steal. I told myself that I would rather borrow than Steal. I went back to those classrooms and returned all I took. I decided to beg one of my choir member to borrow me two thousand naira. Even though I knew, I have been like a beggar in the choir because of hunger and transportation fare. I called her via a
neighbor's phone and she agreed to lend me 2k. Though I feel like beggar and depressed because of this but I am happy that my conscience is clean since I refused to steal those things.
The truth is, suffering and lack can tempt to do the wrong thing as a Christian but we must hold our ground. Don't give up because you don't have. Believe in a better tomorrow. I know it is not easy atimes like the way things are right now but God will soon reward your about. Galatians 6:9 says, do not be weary in well doing,for you will reap if you faint not. Your days of joy are coming. Keep hoping, keep believing and keep praying. Never forget,the road is never easy but God won't forget your labour of love.

MsJackson:
Sango Ota side oooo. Anything for me?

MsJackson:
Hello my uncles and aunts.

I'll make this as brief as possible. I teach in a school where the owner uses his father's compound, back flats. His family lives in front apartment.

Some months ago, last year precisely, i had an issue with his sister, last born, and i decided to avoid her totally to prevent future occurrence. I face my job and do it well.

We the teachers observe that the family always call their son to report any issue, especially if we faltered in some cases. It was getting too much.

So on that day, exactly two weeks ago, we were asked to oversee the students sporting activities, done in front of the school compound. I was walking out with my colleague and we were discussing something we both saw on social media, about gistlover. The sister overheard it and believed we were talking about her, calling her gistlover.

She walked up to me and confronted me in a harsh manner. I tried explaining to her that we weren't referring to her, but she wouldn't listen and before you know it, we were exchanging words. I said a lot because I was angry that she singled me out to confront, when we were two discussing the issue.

She was telling me to get out and i was sooo angry that I used the f word on her. Later, her parents came back and she reported me to them. Without calling to hear my side of the story, they both told their son to send me away. The mother even said that wherever she saw me, she would strip me naked. Their son my boss came, me and my colleague were called to say what happened,we did, then my boss told me to go home and stay put for a while.

After a week,he called and told me my services were no longer needed, that he made his own private investigation from the students and they confirmed I used the f word on his sister. I am not innocent. I admitted my fault, but he refused to temper justice with mercy. He promised to pay me for this month, but my reputation is stained. AGAIN.

Considering the fact that I had some issues with a previous school two years ago, very close to this one. There I resigned on my own. Now everybody is looking at me like I am a bad person. I AM NOT. I try to be sooooo nice and polite, but people always take advantage of that to look down on me. I am extremely humble to a fault, even hubby says I present myself as mumu to people too much.

Is it a crime to be of small stature? I am 39yrs of age and this girl I had an altercation with, she is in her early 20's. I felt so disrespected because of how she confronted me, even poking her fingers in my face in the presence of the students, so I lost my temper. I didn't mean to. Now people are looking at me somehow. I don't feel like waking up in the mornings because I wonder how I would face the day.

I NEED A JOB, that will help me heal from this trauma. Graduated 11 years ago, Chemical Engineering, University of Benin. But I still don't have a good job, I have been teaching to hold body, but I am fed up.

The salary is sooooo small, compared to the work load I was handling. I would love to work in a good company, but nobody, no one is willing to give me a chance. I am depressed daily. God should just use a good person to help me, wipe my tears. Sorry for the long write-up.

DoveXlover:
Since Elon Musk acquired twitter for 45 billion dollars, i have been thinking.

We all know that twitter was founded by Americans in America and there are other companies from America that i believe are worth more than 40 billion dollars.

From social media companies to food companies to Pepsi to coca cola and many more companies built from the scratch in America that are now worth over 50 billion dollars.

So the question is do we have home made companies built from the scratch whether offline or online that are worth more than 40 billion dollars in Nigeria?
I will like to know their names?

Note!!! I am talking about built from scratch Nigeria companies whether it's social media or food companies or otherwise.

Excelloque:
*kindly take some time to go through this writeup. You will never regret the resources you put into reading it. Those saddled with the responsibility of raising adolescents will find this very informative!*

This is a fallout from the happenings in *Chrisland School VGC Lagos.*

He came in with his father into my consulting room. They were almost passing for twin brothers, the only difference was the built and the look The father had more built and obviously looked older. That was the result of adolescents' rapid growth. Adolescents are people between 10 and 19 years. My patient was 16. Many things are special about people in this age group. One prominent thing is their thinking and view about life. They believe in fairytales a lot. Dont mind me like I was not once in the same dreamland before age and reality of life woke me up.

Why did I own this visit Tunde, I asked my patient? (real name withheld). He went straight to the point my dad promised me a dental brace for my exam success. I just passed so I was here to get my brace. They had gone to dental unit of the hospital earlier. They were directed back to General out patient department to get referral. So Victor was in my Consulting Room to get the referral letter to the dentist to get his dental brace promised him for exam success by his father. I asked him any tooth anomalies? What was his reason for wanting a dental brace. I was shocked the answer Tunde gave me and this was what prompted me to write this piece. He said the celebrity he loved was using dental brace that was why he wanted it. I am not sure I heard the reason victor gave well. As a General practitioner, I know people use dental brace for cosmetic reasons but a teenager of 16 years without any teeth anomalies wanted dental brace because his hero celebrity he was watching on TV was using it? This shock made me to turn to the father who granted such request. In fact, bigger shock came from the father. I asked him if he heard the reason his son gave for getting a dental brace. He said yes and further justified it by saying" Doctor what can I do ? He said that was what he wanted for his success in the exam. Even at home that was how he behaved. Anything he wanted if you didn't give him, he would not be happy again. Did I just hear that from Tunde's dad too? I screamed in my head. A 16 year old boy dictates what he wants to you at home and you are the father and parent? The father smiled back sheepishly again.

Seriously ladies and gentlemen I entered counselling mode immediately. I saw impending danger here. The future of a young man was at stake. I saw wrong parenting for an adolescent here. I asked Tunde for his permission to counsel him with his father together. He did not decline though but was wondering what the counselling was for. Any problem? Counselling format has always been basically to ask what the patients know about the topic and you as the the counsellor give them all the correct information and options then guide them to make a rational decision best for them. I ventured out on this voyage. The topic I had to deal with here with Tunde and his dad was ADOLESCENCE AND PARENTING. I asked Victor what he understood by being an adolescent. He seemed not to understand much about adolescence despite being one. I asked the father about parenting an adolescent, he said and I quote" doctor is there anything special about adolescents being parented ?". Within me I was screaming in my head again. No wonder Tunde was in my consulting room this morning for cosmetic dental brace motivated by hero celebrity. Time will fail me to tell you all information I gave them on ADOLESCENCE AND PARENTING but l will summarize it not to bore you. I told them: Adolescence is a stage of life for people between 10 and 19 years. This stage can be developmentally divided into three according to World Health Organisation (WHO). First is *early adolescence (10-13), mid adolescence ( 14-16) and late adolescence (17-19).*

These 3 stages can be summarized thus developmentally: Early adolescents have brain of a child and body of an adult. Mid adolescents have 50% child's brain and 50% adult's brain and body of an adult. The late adolescents have brain of an adult and the body of an adult.

Hence the decisions taken at this stage of life go hand in hand with these peculiarities. Tunde is 16. He has body of an adult already but 50% child's brain. You are wondering why I would say that? Was it not obvious from the decision made by Tunde so far?

Now to parenting, parenting is guiding and nurturing a child in all aspects of life either you are the biological or non biological parents. There are 4 ways you can parent a child and the meaning of each parenting style based on two issues which are LOVE AND DISCIPLINE.

The 4 types of parenting are:

1) Permissive parenting which is LOVING A CHILD ALL THE TIMES WITHOUT DISCIPLINE;

2) Authoritarian parenting style which means DISCPLINING A CHILD ALL THE TIMES WITHOUT ANY LOVE;

3) Uninvolved parenting style which means the parents are not even doing any of the two, NO LOVE, NO DISCIPLINE, the child is on his or her own and the last parenting style which is 4) Authoritative parenting style,also known as Balanced parenting style, which involves LOVING AND DISCIPLINING A CHILD EQUALLY. Research rated Authoritative parenting style as the best parenting style world wide and the remaing three parenting styles as defective.

Now I turned to Tunde's father which of the parenting styles I have explained now do you think you have been using for Tunde? The 60 year old man was quiet for almost 2 minutes, surprising to me, with almost tears in his eyes said, doctor I never knew all these types of parenting styles and their consequences as you just explained. He said doctor no doubt the permissive parenting style seemed to be the one I have been using with Tunde." Doctor what can l do now? Is it not too late for him?" That was how l raised all his 2 elder brothers and doctor l must tell you they have not been doing well on their own. The first brother had drug issue and the second brother was irresponsible. To my surprise, Tunde in tears after hearing my oratory education on Adolescence and Parenting and its consequences and heard his father's helpless question, he said daddy it is not too late. I don't want any dental brace again. Daddy guide me the authoritative way. The best way you think I would turn out best guide me. The two hugged each other with mist of tears in their eyes and left closing the door of my consulting room behind them. Now my own tears erupted in my head, did I just change a life, a future, a family, a generation? Because Tunde would have gone ahead to likely parent his own children too this wrong way and the trend continues and becomes trans-generational. I am happy l have just made another impact. As l close my write up, I will like to appeal to every parent reading this anywhere in the world, LOVING A CHILD WITHOUT DISCIPLINING THEM IS NOT LOVING THEM, IT IS DESTROYING THEIR LIVES. Please LOVE your child, meet their needs, cater for them, ask for their opinion and respect their opinions to the extent that opinion is beneficial to their present and future and make sure that after putting everything together and considering their highest good, have the final saying by showing them the right path. They may not appreciate you today don't worry, when through your BALANCED LOVE AND DISCIPLINE PARENTING STYLE, they look back tomorrow as a fulfilled soul, they will forget the temporary gratification of all love without discipline and bless the day God gave you to them as their guide through life.

I hope this article speaks to you.

QuinModah:
*DON’T LOSE GUARD WITH YOUR DAUGHTERS*

You can't be too sure...

I watched a skit a few minutes ago and I remembered an incident that happened last year. I have her permission to share without revealing names or locations. Also some details have been changed.

A mother asked to use her fifteen year old daughter’s phone for some days while her own phone was being repaired.

WhatsApp messages dropped on the phone. Her daughter had passworded her WhatsApp so she couldn’t see the messages.

Out of curiosity, she tried some passwords and her daughter’s birthday was the password. She opened the WhatsApp and almost died, with the shock of what she saw.

A man in the next building had been chatting with her daughter. He had made several sexual advances towards her, which the daughter refused. He was adamant. He pursued her. He sent her recharge cards, came to her school to give her gifts and money.

He asked her if she had a boyfriend or have ever had intimacy, she said no. He pursued her some more.

He requested for her pictures, almost unclad, which she initially refused to send him but when he sent his, she sent hers. It was nothing too revealing as she was in her bra and underwear.

He taught her how to password her WhatsApp.

Then he pushed for more. He wanted to see her completely nude. She couldn’t take such a picture because she shared a room with her siblings.

He asked her to lock herself in the bathroom for them to have a video call.

She saw messages like “Did you like what you saw?” “ Stop being shy around me.” “Why are you afraid? Nobody will see you.” He sent a picture of his nudity to her. A girl of fifteen!

It became terrifying when her daughter sent a chat saying she saw him with his wife the other night and he ignored her. She knew her daughter had fallen and it was a matter of time before the guy had his way.

She contacted me and asked me for advice. I have helped her in the past so she felt she could confide in me.

The truth is, when such a thing happens, you have to get someone who will treat the man’s Bleep-up very well. Who is the person who will be angry enough to do that No other person than her father.

She was scared her husband will dump the blame on her. She was looking for another way to handle it without him.

I told her, “If you handle it quietly, the man will be wiser and will ensure he won’t be caught since he is obsessed with your daughter that he patiently groomed her. It is best he is disgraced and only her father will do that unless he is a useless man that’s when he will keep quiet.” I told her she is lucky the girl hadn’t agreed to be alone with the man anywhere. It was getting close to that.

Her husband didn’t disappoint me. Immediately he read the chats and saw the ‘manhood’ he took off to the man’s house that night. The wife ran after him. He banged continuously on the gate.

Well, the man got what was coming to him. He was disgraced. The evidence of their chats were there. His neighbours were shocked because he portrayed a picture of a saint but he was the devil and also a paedophile.

The husband wanted to take the matter to the Police but everyone begged. The landlord of their house and the man’s house also appealed to him not to escalate the matter. They begged him not to expose his chats on social media as his wife, my friend, had promised to do.

The culprit’s wife left him. He eventually had to move out of the house immediately the rent was due. The disgrace was too much for them to handle. Everywhere he went in the neighborhood, mothers were wary of him around their daughters.

They have collected the phones from their children. If you are not in university, no more phones.

How did they handle the girl? I asked them not to beat her. But the father refused to listen. He said she had brought disgrace to the household. He wanted to send her to the village but I stopped him. She needed therapy not to be shamed. I told the mother to take her to see a psychologist at Yaba left. It worked!

Older men groom very young girls and turn them into sex slaves. It was what this man was doing. The kind of chats they had was irritating coming from a grown man. He was able to make her do some of the things he wanted by doing them first.

That phone your daughter holds very dear to her heart, please once in a while, check it. Make sure she is not being groomed for someone’s perversion. Check what she is doing and advise her. Anyone younger than sixteen shouldn’t be on social media. Anyone still in secondary school shouldn’t be there too, regardless of their age.

Girls have been lured to travel abroad to be sex slaves, all by grooming or greed. They make them hate their families and believe they are the only ones that love them . They give them attention and say sweet things to them often. It is easy to fall for such.

Teach your children these signs and also do not expose them unnecessarily to these men. Paedophiles are evolving. They are getting smarter. We have to keep our girls safe.

I love you all.

Oyindamolah:
Drop your mail let's talk

sorosoke101:
So I was billed for an interview today by 12pm at an event center on admiralty way lekki, on getting to the venue the security guard told me there was no such interview on there schedule .

I tried calling the Hr personnel I sent my C.V to and her number was switched off.

The funniest part was that I wasn't the only one at the venue I met 9 other people.

So they started calling the Hr personnel to no avail and we all went back home looking sad.

In fact I came all the way from festac and spent 1800 for Tp. "Me wey broke like broken plate"
So my brothers and sisters you can imagine the disappointment.

Anyways am still in the job hunt in case there is any job opening just holla at your boy BABSODIQ007@GMAIL.COM trust me I can do any legal work because I am versatile though I hard a 3rd class degree in microbiology

STONEUS:
No Sir.


In need of Architectural designs?

Oyindamolah:
I resigned from my job 8 months ago (July). I worked with this firm for one full year. It was a rollercoaster ride. I used to be very proactive and full of energy, going all out to achieve things no matter what was at stake.

When I took up this job last year, I was hoping to build a career and carve a niche for myself... But I was wrong. Before I resumed, a lot of people had resigned. Even on the day I resumed, I met just one staff on ground (he was trying to buy time before he
eventually quits). So we were just two (2) in the office. It felt awkward because the environment wasn't challenging and competitive enough for me, but I had to do what was expected of me. Till the day I resigned, I was not found wanting in any aspect.. But I guess that was where everything went wrong. I was taken advantage of, used and manipulated.
My boss was a chronic micromanager and very insecure.

Despite all these, I tried to allay his fears and made sure I did my best to assure him nothing would ever go wrong. He abuses us verbally with words I'm so ashamed to type here. When the other guy eventually resigned, I was left all alone with him. I took up his responsibilities coupled with mine. I was overworking myself every single day of the week. I became a shadow of myself and always felt sick whenever I get up from bed every morning. I was doing this for 4months till we were able to get a replacement for the guy. And believe you me, we were recruiting every month afterwards till I left because they were always resigning or should I say disappearing after the end of every month. So we practically had a new staff who would work for a month and disappear. And the reason was not far fetched, My Boss. He believes all job seekers are hungry and would take anything just for the cash (stipends). You can imagine a graduate bring sent on so many ridiculous domestic errands.

Though I'm not oblivious of the fact that it's not easy to set up a business here in Nigeria or even to pay salaries. I know what it takes, but that doesn't mean you should now use people like slaves.

As a service provider, you should know how to handle your clients, but this man would talk to them anyhow, insult them and then expect me to fix the mess or else I won't get paid. And because I was ready to do anything just for the progress of the company, he believed I had no choice. But I'm the kind of person that hates being idle. Hence, the reason for not seeing it as a big deal. Then came a time, I was at my wits end, couldn't go on anymore. I lost all motivation and up till now.

One of the most painful thing I heard after I left was when someone from the office called to tell me what happened that day. Sometimes, I usually use my money to quickly do some little office stuffs if the man is not around. So there were lapses after I left, he now asked what was really going on. So the guy on ground told him what I usually did.. And his response , "if I knew I had money, why did I come to work then?" Imagine. I felt so disappointed!

This is the same man that would refund you if you tell him you spent your money for the company, then go ahead to deduct it from your salary at the end of the month after looking for excuses or an offence you didn't commit.

Now, most people here in Lagos go through same or worse ordeal every single day. Leave home early, get abused at work, get home late. Looking rough and tired all for a pay that won't last up to 2weeks. I pity the married folks more, they can't resign/quit because they've got bills to pay, responsibilities (wife and kids), some even have girlfriends, they're stuck. I also have responsibilities and bills though, but thank God I'm still single.

This is the time to go all out and take chances, take risks and it will definitely pay off in the end. I've been able to focus more since I resigned, sleep well, eat well, learning some digital skills to boost my CV and running a little business of mine. Though it's not been easy, but I know I'm on the right path.

lekzy116:
We have alot of things to be put in places if truly this nation is going to get any better. Some bosses are just too bitter to work with, some always feel like God and do anyhow without no measure to checkmate there attitude regarding the employee's..

The worst of the matter is going for an interview and many will delay you like forever and at end you won't even get any feedback from them. Imagine the recent and last interview I did, they were there saying we're impressed by your composure, CV, experience and bla bla bla. Even till now, I didn't hear anything from them.

Las Las I gave up on that. Am just here doing proxy agent for real estate companies. Naija can be so frustrating atimes..

benjackugo:
https://www.instagram.com/p/CbZwpeEL3Kd/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

Trustedhands:
I already drop you a chat on whatsapp. Kindly check pls

Trustedhands:
Your website can't be found, chief.

yungprof13:
Can you drop your website or contact for us to contact you

favelli:
Hey sir, I went to your site masy homes but your direct contact isn't there sir like you stated. Would very much appreciate any form of guidance at all from you. Thanks

AmancalledGod:
Good morning friend's, please i really need an urgent answer to this, thou for now I'm still staying with my people (parent's) pls is it proper for a friend to carry a woman to your parent's house to sleep over obviously to have sex with the girl, when your parent's is not around. He has be begging me to allow him come over with the girl.

I have agreed shaa, but I'm still thinking of it if i could have a change of mind.

JackDaAlienz:
I went to pick her up from uni then drove her to my house.
We chilled drank wine then bleeped well
After sex I decided to drive her back to school.
On our way my back tire brake just lock
The wheel stopped rotating.
I had to Shell out 10k to repair

2nd time with this same girl yesterday night we had sex
This morning I got a message that the items I planned to ship from Canada was cancelled

Why do I experience these badluck events after having sex with this girl

VTJN:
07012213603 Airtel. Thanks and God bless