₦airaland Forum

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.


My confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejewelled trees, Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are, Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, “Merry Christmas” to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a crib, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from, that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her: “How could God let something like this happen?” (regarding Hurricane Katrina). Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said: “I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?”

In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbour as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said okay.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing yet?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit.

If not, then just discard it.... no one will know you did. But if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.

My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,

Ben Stein

[quote author=D-Explorer]If you wrote this, you need to write more and maybe not religious. Kudos[/quote]The world has become more horrific because people want every other person to be like them. At this point I ask...where is the beauty of democracy or human rights? I am a very regious person, now you want my write ups and probably deny my beliefs...am sorry bro..pls expect more.

There's never a King who doesn't enjoy his praises being sang. Even the most humble of them will feel elated at that. That's why the more you as a lady speak kingly and extolling words to your spouse, the more he behaves like that.
As a Lady, you must have come to realize that women do more talking than men...generally­. That is not a problem until you have more mere speeches than edifying ones.
Your words are so powerful to your partner's Being. Did you ever realize how Samson in the Bible knew Delilah was out for his injury, yet her words were so piercing he didn't mind? As a lady, there's this natural 'charm' in your tongue towards your male partner. Therefore, it's okay to always have gists for him, but also have encouragements for him with it. A simple 'I Believe In You' can bring out the Genius in your guy. So now, get sincere! How Kingly do your words make your partner feel? Is it only in a Motivational programme he feels elated?

How about when his business is at low level or his morale dented at office; never toy with his esteem any further. Treat him as though he is the emerging Business Mogul. Your words will soon show on his expressions, especially when you're the prayerful one- having your speech oiled with favor.
Also, as his lady, if you can't stay with him in his struggling moments, please be shy to brag about him in his success. Why are you in a relationship with him when you can't stay with him all season? You should rather call yourself his 'Business' partner!

Don't pride yourself only in what you receive from him. Plan now to build a life of being a pillar to him. May you not have a family where your husband was more assisted by a 'strange' lady than you, his 'wife'.
Be his 'numero uno' in prayer partnership! Understand his weaknesses and in all godliness, be a pillar to him. Remember: Masculine muscles don't mean 'No weaknesses'! So, know he needs help also! Don't long to do only what he says; know him well and even do beyond what he can say. That way, you just moved closer to being indispensable. Eve was called a 'Helper' because with her, Adam's aches just reduced. Why then should your guy's pains increase after meeting you? He's to be helped; not used!

May the Wisdom for the Helper God calls you envelope you. With your input, your family will ride in excellence. Amen!

Naturists bare all on the This Morning sofa, literally

Revealing all ... Emma Stokes, Andrew Welch, Vicki Hinks and Tim Higgs go naked on the This Morning sofa
By JENNY MANNING
Published: 44 minutes ago

THIS Morning has had hundreds of guests over the years — but not many of them have graced the famous sofa completely naked.
Four naturists appeared on the ITV1 show today — with just some cleverly placed baubles and stickers to keep the show pre-watershed appropriate — and told hosts Ruth Langsford and Eamonn Holmes that there is nothing sexual about being a nudist.

Firstly Eamonn asked Tim Higgs, Vicki Hinks, Andrew Welch and Emma Stokes what they would say to people who were looking at them on TV in a "naughty, sexual way".

And Andrew told him: "It is an issue that we suffer from, because most people can't separate sex from nudity and that is just not what this is all about.

"Years and years, decades of social conditioning have made people feel awkward, embarrassed by a simple naked body and we've all got one."

Ruth then asked the group about people often associating naturists with activities like swinging.



Naturists ... Vicki Hinks and Tim Higgs work at nudist hotel

To which Andrew replied: "We're certainly having fun and frolicking around naked, but it's just not in that way.

"It's not like that at all, the context doesn't lend itself to that, it's not sexually exciting, it's just normal people not wearing their clothes."

In reply to Eamonn quizzing on her whether she felt vulnerable naked, Emma declared: "Absolutely not."

And she said that being a naturist has in fact helped her grow to love her body.

She explained: "It all started a while ago when I went along with a friend to a convention and I decided that 'what was it about those people that they were so happy about their body and I hated mine so much?'

"So off I went back to university and started doing some research and from there I decided to give it a try myself.

"And it's the best thing that I ever did because it allowed me to finally be happy and comfortable in my skin."



'It's not about that' ... guests tell Eamonn and Ruth there's nothing sexual about being a naturist

Tim, who throws naturist Christmas parties at his Clover Spa & Hotel in Birmingham, added that being a naturist helps your confidence.

He said: "It helps, your confidence grows, I see it several times a week when we get new customers coming through the door, very nervous but within a few minutes they're relaxing.

"And they're finding a new themselves, and it's absolutely wonderful."

And he added that there has been a very high demand for places at his naked Christmas dos this year.

He said: "It has been well sort after, and all the rooms are booked in the hotel, but visitors can come along in the evening and join in."

While Vicki, who works as duty manager at the hotel, said the parties don't just appeal to a certain age group either.

She said: "We've had 18 to a 91-year-old there, it's all age groups."

follow link to see for yourself



Read more: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/tv/4698057/Naturists-on-This-Morning-sofa.html#ixzz2F36rmZ2C

OMG, Somebody is bound to loose his job next year if this is true. But Pep, you for keep quiet na.

I won't buy this type. Not until Naija roads are pot holes free...those potholes will spoil the sensors and the car will via off into one forest and probably lock you there.mba

shagarri: "Hello Driver, your Volvo network has
been hijacked. You are now being ferried to the Lagos Lagoon. Say your last prayers"

I laughed out loud. Most big men in Naija will never buy this.they don't even trust their drivers not to talk of electronic device that can go faulty anytime.

kandiikane: Booooooo! Get off the fricking stage, mehn!

Have you taken your medication?

Congrats to the winner and to those who contested. Never forget that every woman is a queen in her husbands house. 2013 is by the corner, you can start campaining now. Nobody wins election in 21st century without campaigns.

I also noticed that men will always go for natural beauty anytime. That was the first thing that counted for the winner...I guess she was smart in that regard

And for all tribalists in NL...thank you for holding back and not making it a tribal thing...Keep it this way and Naija will be good one day.

I queued for fuel for almost 1 hour last night to get fuel, for 3 days now, no one has been able to say the reason for the water scarcity in Abuja city center. As at this night, 20 litres of water is going for N300.
My laundry guy is telling me 1500 to wash one shirt. The whole thing is driving me crazy. Fuel and. Water seriously scarce and nobody is explaining anything.

Please what's the cause of this water scarcity ?

When are we going to start valueing life in this country? Must people die everyday out share wickedness or carelessness.haba

[quote author=val_dubem]mtshewwwwwwwwwwww! wetin U do wey U wan win?[/quote]When has it become a sin for one to solicit for help.? This your bad belle can't be cured with gbogbo nishe

https://www.nairaland.com/1117102/just-before-choose-soul-mate

This link answers it all if you will be patient to read it all.

God Bless you bro for this expository write up..we can all relate to this.

That word 'Soul' was used almost interchangeably­ with the word 'spirit' in the ancient days. That's why you hear people say "May the Soul of the departed rest in peace" (which actually, it's the spirit they mean). It's only a reference to the spirit of man that goes into eternity. The soul therefore is the unseen part of you. It's not in your hips, long hair, nails, cars, biceps, bank account, phonetics...etc­. That's why Sex before the 'Wedding ring' is poor judgment and will always be a faulty parameter for measuring true love or compatibility. Your Soul is the centre of your being, not sex! For example, if Microsoft wants to hire competent hands, they won't hire you because you've used their products before! Rather, you'll be asked on software matters, computer programming jargons etc. Why? The programming and software development is the 'soul' of Microsoft Inc. So also, Physical touch is not only an excess, it is never a measure of your workability with him or her- because it's your body, not your Soul (the Centre of your Being); and recall what happens when the 'centre' doesn't hold, though bodies might be under same roof. So, never measure how the union will work by how much your body is pulled and pushed to each other. A delusion is imminent with that. Avoiding this common error will make most people sane for a great discovery in their private lives.
Where then is your Soul? Have you ever done something that was tough, demanding, painful and risky...like giving out a chunk of your money to the poor, yet you were inwardly happy after doing it, though your bank account is now almost empty? Yes! Catch this! The difference between the painful act and the happy face is where the unseen part of a human comes in. It is that part of you that won't lie to you. If your act was great, it will clap for you. If your act was bad but friends clap for you, you will know the truth in your soul. That's where your Dreams, Purpose in life, sincere beliefs and convictions dwell. It is where the true You is! Now therefore, one's Soul mate aligns primarily as a complement to what you carry inwardly- God-birthed Destiny, Passions and Purpose. He or She might not be exactly like you, but he or she complements you well. That's why God didn't make Eve from Adam's Toe, hair, Nose or anything external, but from his Rib. Now, a rib protects the Heart (or else, anything against your chest touches your heart). And what's the Heart? It's You- your God-installed convictions, dreams, purposes are in it. Eve therefore is a product to complement the Heart (Soul) of Adam; hence- SoulMate! Therefore, as a lesson, your Spouse-to-be and yourself must be well connected inwardly, having Soul-filled convictions that complement each other. If Eve was made from Adam's external, we will call her his Bodymate. Unfortunately however, many people are heading towards Body Mates and not Soul Mates because all their parameters are external- house, car, looks, fame etc. Though not outrightly bad, but for your union sake, go for Soul convictions and connections above external convictions. The latter is never a true foundation to build on and it changes like weather!

(1) How do you now know the Mate of your Soul?.
I must be frank with you that nothing brings inability to think straight in any premarital relationship like sex or even sensual touch. The moment you're in it, your thinking faculty gets tilted, corrupted and insincere to your Soul. You lose sensitivity to your Heart sensors. It therefore allows our 'blindness' to get louder than the Voice of our sincere Soul. That's why many know they're wrong to have entered that marriage, but it seems their Being was too weak to walk out before reaching the altar. That's the dangerous effect of Sensual acts. So, avoiding it keeps you alert to the wisdom of your Soul and God's whispers. I hope to write on 'Sin' soon, to make us understand that Sin never hurts God, but ourselves. It is His unfathomable and crazy love for us that makes it seem He was the one injured. Just like a Mother can be angry and weep if her kid gets sick. It's love and not that it's the mum who's sick! Due to God's investment in you, you can get Him so touched when you miss His Road-map for great marriage.
An intimate affair before the Marriage is harmful to your needed Unbiased Sense of Judgment. By avoiding such, by God's grace you will judge without sentiments if a person is a mate to your soul or not, and afterwards you can take your decision of 'Yes, I Do' or 'No, I Don't'.

(2) Also, I always advise intending couples to once in a while avoid the 'razzmatazz, razzle-dazzle and mental hypes of Relationship. These words mean "Noisy and showy display". Why this admonition? Many times, the drives round town, Cinema moments, Zoo trips, expensive gifts, adventures, ceremonies etc can drown a person's ability to reason well if not checked wisely, especially if you're on the receiving side- being hosted by the other partner. Permit me to say this: that's why many ladies should be careful of being introduced too quickly to the friends of their new toaster. It has a subtle, but strong way of keeping most ladies mentally tied to that relationship when they've not fully assessed it in sincerity. It becomes worse if the friends of her new toaster are sweet-tongued and she feels in 'cloud nine' by their accolades showered on her. It's only most natural for her to like that scene. That way, she has unknowingly decided the outcome even before starting. It's therefore advisable for you to find calm ways to withdraw from these 'noises', so that you can look from different dimensions and judge without bias if this is leading to a 'Great marriage Life' or 'Greatly managed Life'. Knowing your Soulmate demands some sincere self appraisal, where your Being is quiet and wisdom is loud enough. Avoiding consistent 'razzmatazz' is one fruitful way to do that.
One other strategy that I like to tell people is that 'bring out the contents of your Soul before you marry'. What do I mean? If you know you are passionate about being a Pastor, Artiste, Soldier etc in future, please do yourself a favor by showing an obvious direction and action towards that passion to your spouse-to-be! Infact, sincerely, (if God permits) start that passion before marriage. Let whoever will marry you meet you in your Soul activity, so that there's no need to begin to guess if he or she can blend later on in life. 'You that walk into an Ice Cream Shop will not ask them there if they sell Cement'. To avoid unnecessary life style and direction being put or demanded from you in future by your spouse, let him or her meet you in your Soul activity. That way, it's so much easier to see how well he or she can be your Soul mate before marriage knocks, since that enterprise you're into now is a good mirror of your Soul and your future with him or her.
The Wife of Martin Luther King (Jr) met him when he was already a Voice and Activist for equality in America. Therefore, later on when the persecution and other threats were on her husband's life, she didn't persuade him to cease, but rather stood by him. She met him years back in his 'Soul Activit'y, so she settled the future in her mind already!
Birds of same feather flock together. To get birds of like feathers, please bring out your feathers too. Hiding your feathers can make strange birds come to you. That is, not displaying or working in your Soul contents can make you resemble who you're not, thereby bringing just anyone your path. Bring out your future from now so that those going your type of route and able to complement you (Soul Mates) easily identify you and are easily identified by you. Neglecting this can make those who are not of your Soul to end up being your Mate! Applying this principle however makes it easier to rightly see your Soul-type of spouse. With you having done this, you can then seal all by sitting down with him or her and frankly speak your future according to what you presently do. Thus, you make it easier to truly identify a Soul-mate and determine your future together from now.

(4) Lastly, I must be candid with the helpful impact Prayer and fasting gives. One weapon that makes your bias flesh to be silent and the sincere spirit louder is fasting. It helps Sympathy for him or her to be subdued by true knowledge. It gives power to despise pressures from friends and families. It energizes you for a right decision without you having to feel apologetic. Also, your smart questions have a limit. Your knowledge from friends have too, but when you fast and pray, a wisdom that No Author or friend can tell you begins to well up in you.
There are intending couples who got saved from disastrous future in marriage by revelations of God while they silenced themselves in the place of fasting. If you'll be accurate in getting a Soul Mate, please don't leave out the Author of Marriage. Pray in the spirit! It increases your spiritual alertness. Fast! It silences your flesh for a more vocal and wise soul. Then you will wisely sieve out unsuitable toasters, making no pressure to influence your decision. An inner strength and wisdom from the Holy Spirit will just envelope you. We are too limited to know everything. That's why we join forces with God for a truly happy life. If your Marriage will be worth celebrating, please don't despise celebrating its preparations

Many people can confidently say it's been a while they signed an agreement with someone, but little do they know that they just did not too long ago on that 'bed'. In clear words, Sex is more than a mere Act; it is a way to spiritually bind yourself with someone. Marriage starts at the altar, but is truly sealed in the bedroom. That's why Apostle Paul said in 1Corinthians 6:15 - "Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a LovePeddler? Never!" Notice he didn't say 'sleep with a LovePeddler', because it goes beyond that; he said "...join". Sex is a JOINING! Which means whoever you sleep with has become joined to you and you to that person. Wow!

Let me go further. The 'fluid' which a man transmits to the opposite gender for reproduction is a word that originated from Greek language and it means 'Seed'. That explains why a child can take up the attitude, looks and very detailed qualities of the Dad, simply due to the 'seed' the man gave into his wife. This is deeper than you think! It means in that 'fluid' is the man's entirety- looks, behavior, mentality etc. By sleeping with her, both of them have mixed and transferred part of their personality between each other. Now therefore, you see how not a few people carry spirits of various folks in them without knowing. They call 'fun' what they should call 'covenant'! What ritualists do by drinking blood to seal an oath is just another form of what people do in bed- an exchange of blood. (Remember one way AIDS is transmitted is by blood during Sex; meaning blood really is exchanged in 'bed').

Unfortunately also, due to the soulful process of sex, Condoms can only protect the actors from secondary issues, but not the spiritual implications which is primary! I was talking to a guy someday, and I mentioned to him how sex is more spiritual than physical. Instantly, I noticed his eyeballs popped at me. He then confided in me how what I just said suddenly made him realize something. What was it? He said he had 'fun' with a lady one day and afterwards both went their different ways. However, he said after some days, this lady was coming so strongly in an unusual manner to his mind. He will delete the thought, but it will come back noticeably. He brushed it off. Later on, news filtered to him that not too long ago, this lady was found to have slumped and died in her bathroom. The guy soon realized that the late girl's spirit was 'calling' him when she was in her helpless state, before she then slipped into Eternity! He thought they only had 'fun' and went their different ways, not knowing they signed a 'covenant' of spirits and it respects no physical distance. Whether Condom was used or not didn't matter; the mystery is- their sex act has joined their spirits.

Now, you know why Pre-Marital or Extra-Marital intimacy makes you pick up into your Being the spirit and even innate data of someone not your husband or wife. Why do you think the word 'Adultery' is connected to the word 'Adulterated', which means to mix a substance with another, thereby making it less functional and effective. How about the word 'Intercourse'? 'Inter' in English means 'Connection'. 'Course' means 'a person's life and its features'. 'Intercourse' therefore simply means 'the connection of two people's lives. Can you notice now what wrong sex also does? It joins you to someone not your spouse, making you less original, effective and functional for your ordained spiritual destiny. Avoiding the act, except in confines of marriage, is your safe zone. Condoms might avert the pregnancy or STD's, but not the Covenant of both spirits.
May God pour upon you His Grace for purity. It's for our good, not God's!

God Bless You.

:-Warn your girl child never to sit on anyone's laps no matter the situation including uncles.

:-Avoid getting dressed in front of your child once he/she is 2years old. Learn to excuse yourself.

:-If you have to hire a house-help please kindly take them for HIV screening to determine their HIV status, properly interview them and make up your mind to treat t
hem well.

:-Never allow any adult refer to your new born as 'my wife' or 'my husband'

:-Never tempt your husband with your younger sister. (Else he'd say its hers and the devil's fault)

:-Avoid unnecessary familiarity and make sure you take care of your husband by yourself lest you lead him into temptation.

:-Whenever your child goes out to play with friends make sure you look for a way to find out what kind of play they played together because young people now sexually abuse themselves.

:-Never force your child to visit any adult he or she is not comfortable with and also be observant if your child becomes too fond of a particular adult.

Once a very lively child suddenly becomes withdrawn you might need to patiently ask a lot of questions from your child.

:-If you don't teach your children about sex, the society will teach them the wrong values.

:-It is always advisable you go through any new material like cartoons you just bought for them before they start seeing it themselves.

:-Teach your 3year olds how to wash their private parts properly and warn them never to allow anyone touch those areas and that includes you.(remember, charity begins at home and with you)

:-Blacklist some materials you think could threaten the sanity of your child (that includes music, movies and musicians) and let them understand the value of standing out of the crowd.

Once your child complains about a particular person,don't keep quiet about it. Take up the case and show them you can defend them always!

Nollywood lacks content and that's why I don't watch their movies.It dulls my brain.

Her picture is almost in every social website and I'm wondering how that will facilitate the passage of the bill. And how much of our money has gone into this stupid publicity.

Well, that is northern Nigeria and hausa people for you. This region of Nigeria remains backward and will remain so, because of ignorance and backward thinking. What is wrong with "annabi" entering market? His wife Khadija was after all, a merchant, which means, very likely, that he would have gone to the market with her to trade. Jesus' father was a carpenter, and Jesus in his early life worked with him. The issue is not only about religion, you must understand that the hausa are a primitive and blood thirsty people. Lord Lugard descfribed them as a retrogressive people, who would bring to disaster, any society they chose to attach themselves. Most of Nigeria's troubles can be ascribed directly and indirectly to the pernicious nature ofr this people. Sad.

This post is sure to gain women's credit and put a smile on their faces.however pleasant it appears to misbehave in pregnancy...am so loving being a man.

Despite the low life expectancy in Nigeria. I can't remember anyone that died less than 70.
Do you know any?
What could be the reason for their longevity.

First, and most important, promise not to judge the other; then, privately write out scenarios that have tantalized you and place them in a box.

1. We Respond to Praise
It’s believed that men are so consumed by our libido that we have no self-consciousness surrounding sex. But men are no different from women when it comes to compliments as catalysts for sexual confidence. This praise can be delivered before reaching the bedroom (give us the once-over and tell us how buff we look), and after (give us the once-over and tell us how buff we look naked). Along those lines, men worry about the size of their guts (and other measurable organs), their hair (or lack thereof) and other attributes. Try to be extra affirming about those sensitivities.

2. We Fear Intimacy…
…but not for the reason you think! Studies have shown that boys are more affectionate, even more expressive, than girls until they reach school age. At that time, social repression begins—of words, thoughts, feelings—and our desire for human connection goes underground. So taboo is this desire for intimacy that its possibility can terrify men—not because it’s smothering, but because we realize how desperate we are for it. What’s a woman to do? First, understand that your guy’s hasty retreat post-sex may be about his own shock at how much he craves a connection with you (and how much he’s denied it in life). Then, retreat a little yourself. This gives him time to see that his boyhood habits are, in fact, perfectly manly.

3. We Appreciate Sex for Sex’s Sake
Having said that about intimacy, sometimes a little “throw-me-down sex” is the right medicine. According to Joe Kort, PhD, a psychotherapist and sexologist, “Men want their wives to enjoy raw sex, not just endure it or take it personally. For men, it’s not about dominating a woman, but ravishing her.” On occasion, try letting him ravish you.

4. We Are Not Just Our…
The penis gets all the press, but men have “many erogenous zones,” says psychologist Melodie Schaefer, PsyD. “Men tend not to correct women because they’re afraid women will shut down and not touch them at all. But there are many places a woman should touch.” Like the chest, the inner thighs and face. Two other key areas: Gently gripping a man’s testicles can be a real turn-on, as it blends control with release. Also, stimulating the perineum, the area between the scrotum and anus, will heighten pleasure during MouthAction.

5. We Encourage Fantasies
“Men want to share their fantasies but worry their wives will shame or judge them,” says Dr. Kort. Similarly, Dr. Schaefer reports that men wish women would reveal their imaginings. Want to open yourself to these possibilities? Try making a game of it. First, and most important, promise not to judge the other; then, privately write out scenarios that have tantalized you and place them in a box. When you are next intimate, pull one out. If you’re both comfortable, give it a shot. If not, Dr. Kort recommends asking the author a key question: What about this fantasy do you like? Sometimes, its themes can be addressed in different, more comfortable scenarios.

6. We Like It When You Talk
Talking during sex stimulates more than our ears. What kind of talk? Dirty, praising and instructive are great starts. As amusing as it may sound, a woman’s words can make a guy feel as potent and virile as a Roman gladiator, even if he’s a suburban banker.

7. We Need Your Honesty
Sex can solve the stresses of a relationship, but it’s often where the stresses show up. If we complain about a lack of sex (or your doing certain things only on our birthday), we may be overlooking serious issues that underpin such withholding. We need you to enlighten us. The male ego is often tied to sex, so it’s easy for us to dismiss bedroom problems as female disinterest rather than issues we have a part in. Avoiding these problems, however, only perpetuates your feeling unseen and our frustration.

8. We Enjoy the Dance
Men like a good quest; unfortunately, these days, there are so few. But romance earns that distinction. Allow us to court you; make us deserve your desire. Dr. Kort makes an additional point: “Emotional intimacy is about closeness, but sustaining sexual desire demands a certain amount of distance.” How do couples strike this tricky balance? By allowing each partner to have what he calls “separate sexuality”: a sexual life that doesn’t include, but doesn’t betray, the other. “For him, that might mean allowing his wife to use toys or letting other men look at her; for her, it might be permitting him to watch pornography in order to experience a fantasy.” Such indulgences help maintain the balance of desire and devotion for both parties.

9. We Can Explain Pornography
Finding a spouse using pornography is a top reason couples seek counsel, says Dr. Kort, but it shouldn’t be overreacted to or pathologized. A few things to clear up: 1. Sex addicts represent only 4 percent of the population, so it’s unlikely your man is one. 2. Because childhood experiences influence sexuality as an adult, people are very idiosyncratic about what turns them on. In other words, says Dr. Kort, “no woman can, nor should she, be everything to a man.” Still, the question remains: How does a woman not take pornography personally? First, determine if your mate is compulsive, or can only have sex, with pornography. If so, you may want to seek counseling. If not, Dr. Kort recommends taking the secrecy out of pornography by discussing it. Use the lens of “what about it turns him on versus what turns you off.” That way, a dialogue is created that allows for honesty, dignity and closeness.

10. We Always Need It, But Not for the Reason You Think
Men are accused of being sexually insatiable, but women should rethink this. “Men see sex as a celebration,” says Dr. Schaefer. “They wish women would take more of a ‘carpe diem’ approach to it. We move through life at the speed of sound, with multiplying challenges and pressures. It’s easy to allow demands on our time and energy to rob us of the joy, pleasure and opportunity that sex affords us. On the long list of priorities, it should not be on the bottom rung.” If that doesn’t make you want to “seize the day” (or something else), consider the health benefits: Orgasms release oxytocin, which has been called the “bonding hormone,” bringing couples closer together while it alleviates anxiety and stress, reduces blood pressure and promotes healing.

Election held with not one single life lost. not one. No ballot box snatched or voting devices stolen. No violence from any where. The loosing party has conceded in the spirit of sportsmanship.

The lessons are many for Nigeria even as 2015 draws closer

AjanleKoko: yeah, and a failed medical system in Poland, Pakistan, India, and Bangladesh.

what are you driving at?

That's the product of a failed medical system back home.its a pity.

were they abducted or summoned? what do we believe now. Either ways, who gave MASSOB the right?
people should think before they act for heaven's sake.

Richfella: Your head no correct. Natural disasters have been with us since Adam. Ko ya mauth!

when on earth will you grow up? must you insult?

All that remains is for our lawmakers to review the Nigerian constitution and make it official.

They should get cracking. Several weeks ago awoke to news that President Goodluck Jonathan’s wife, Patience, had disappeared from Nigeria. Nobody in Aso Rock bothered to inform Nigerians about the whereabouts of their “First Lady.” It later transpired that Mrs. Jonathan had sneaked away to a clinic in Wiesbaden, Germany. It was as if she’d merely left one room in the Presidential Villa to another.

In the end, it took enterprising online reporters to tell Nigerians that their president’s “missing” wife was in Germany, hospitalised. In response, the woman’s spokesman denied that she was ailing. No, he said, she had exhausted herself from clinking glasses, eating and chatting with some other African leaders’ wives she hosted in Abuja. She’d then traveled to Germany to take a well-deserved “moment’s rest.”

Nigerians would discover that Mrs. Jonathan’s moment was counted in weeks. As in, more than four weeks. In a bizarre twist, the woman whose exit was shrouded in secrecy came back to a staged carnival-grade welcome. After all, she was returning from Germany, Nigeria’s latest satellite. Last week, Governor Danbaba Suntai of Taraba State crashed a small CESSNA plane he was piloting as he attempted to land in Yola, Adamawa State. Initial reports said the governor had died. It turned out, thank God, that he was only injured. He was soon transferred to the National Hospital, Abuja. President Jonathan went to see him there.

Afterwards, Mr. Jonathan pronounced the governor’s condition stable. In fact, the president’s words bear quoting in detail, for they reveal something about the mindset of the man currently presiding over Nigeria. “We are quite happy that the governor is stable,” said Nigeria’s president. “I have seen him. Doctors are working very hard on him. I believe that God willing, he will come out of it.

But he is still in hospital. Being a governor, people are worried. People want to know his state of health.” A day or two after Mr. Jonathan spoke those words, Governor Suntai was airlifted to an undisclosed hospital in Germany.

The National Hospital, Abuja used to be Nigeria’s best hospital. That was when Nigeria had only thirty-six states. Since Nigerian officials unofficially annexed Germany as their country’s 37th state, the torch of best hospital has been passed on.

The best Nigerian hospital now is – wait for it – in Germany! Last Sunday, several Nigerian newspapers reported the airlift of the injured Suntai to Nigeria’s outpost in Germany. A report in The Sun was quite revelatory. Governor Danbaba Danfulani Suntai, the paper reported, “has been flown to Germany for PROPER TREATMENT” (emphasis mine).

The paper’s report continued: “The governor was on Friday taken to the National Hospital, Abuja, where Sunday Sun reliably gathered he was prepared for the longer journey to Germany for BETTER TREATMENT” (again, emphasis mine). Nigeria has a class of people often identified as “stakeholders,” “political chieftains,” “prominent Nigerians.”

They include current and past presidents, governors, ministers, commissioners, legislators, government-favored businessmen and women, local government chairmen, and party executives. They are routinely serenaded and garlanded at public events. Their hirelings often tell us that these officials are political icons.

They’re not just superb leaders, they are – they and their spokesmen tell us – geniuses who have “totally transformed their states and redefined the art of governance.” This breed love to collect national honors, however devalued.

They treasure picking up such hollow prizes as “legislator of the year,” even when they hardly know how to spell the word bill, or “best performing governor,” even though their states look like advertisements for the Dark Ages, tiny portraits of hell on earth. I won’t be surprised if Mr. Suntai had “won” a few awards for gubernatorial excellence.

At any rate, he hardly shied from touting his achievements. Yet, one of the man’s reliable records is that he’s something of a showman. Taraba State lacks the most basic of facilities. But that fact would not detain Mr. Suntai.

A lover of jets, he acquired a pilot’s license to enable himself to hop from place to place. If he ever wrote a political playbook, jollity would be a venerated principle. I could not help thinking about the state of Nigeria as I reflected on Suntai situation. Last week, three friends wrote or spoke to me about the ghastly condition of Nigerian roads.

One, a businessman, described the harrowing experience of traveling by road from Port Harcourt to Enugu. “It’s unacceptable to see a highway so dilapidated,” he wrote in an email. He continued: “Attention must be drawn to save lives that are being needlessly lost. I saw victims being pulled out from a fresh crash at the Aba/PH stretch.

Right after Umuahia, you could only continue by driving on top of piles of chippings, two over-turned trucks on both sides were clear warning signs of the risk involved.” Another friend, a lawyer, detailed the sheer dread of driving from Lagos to Abuja to represent a client.

The recent flood disaster, he said, had made the trip an even greater ordeal. The third friend, a banker, had traveled from Calabar to Anambra State. “I won’t make this trip again anytime soon,” he told me over the phone. “The road is so bad that it was like going through a war zone.” Let’s be clear: Nigeria’s deplorable condition is, in large measure, a function of the individual and collective stupidity of the country’s top officials.

Paradoxically, these wreckers-in-chief get airlifted to Germany (as well as such other locations as the US, the UK, India, Dubai and South Africa) for “proper” or “better” treatment. And the rest of us, whose lives they misshape, are left paying for them to get excellent treatment.

There were five passengers in Mr. Suntai’s plane as it crashed. According to press reports, they all sustained injuries. Yet, it’s only the governor (as far as we know) who’s been airlifted to Germany. The luckless others are apparently stuck in Nigeria where, we know, the treatment is hardly ever “proper” or “better.” Now, if the privileged men in Governor Suntai’s entourage don’t qualify to be treated in Nigeria’s 37th state, imagine, then, the grim fate of Taraba’s talakawa, peasants and civil servants. Let us come round, then, to President Jonathan’s comments on Mr. Suntai’s condition. It’s amazing that the president described the seriously injured – and reportedly comatose – governor as “stable.” Was the president out to mislead us?

Or was it the case that the man who runs Nigeria can’t tell the difference between crisis and stability? Did the president simply borrow a leaf from his wife’s spokesman who called an obviously sick “First Lady” merely resting?

President Jonathan’s most curious statement about Mr. Suntai was this one: “Being a governor, people are worried. People want to know his state of health.” Here was Nigeria’s ruler telling us, in effect, that “ordinary” Nigerians don’t count. You have to be a governor for the Nigerian president and people to be “worried” about your condition.

Is there any wonder that Mr. Jonathan can’t wait to forget the travails and crises of “ordinary” Nigerians? Germany may be Nigeria’s 37th state, and the only one that really works. But that state is preserved for the likes of the presidential spouses and governors. For the rest of us, Germany is off-limits. So, here’s a modest proposal.

Nigerian rulers should have a two-pronged homework. First, they must figure out how Germany developed itself into an excellent society. Then they must apply the formula of German ingenuity to Nigeria. If they can’t – or won’t – then they have a choice. Either officially incorporate Germany into Nigeria, thus opening German borders to all Nigerians or cease their own junkets to enjoy the facilities of German medical marvels.

http://sunnewsonline.com/new/columns/germany-nigerias-37th-state/

All these happening is just a pointer that the end is very near. I simpathise with all affected.
i just wonder why all hurricanes are named after women