₦airaland Forum

If you do away with the text speak you might get some replies.

[quote author=oyinda. link=topic=277160.msg4196257#msg4196257 date=1247734740]there's nothing u can do about it. she doesn't see u as relationship material and the only way u can change that is to change urself. ask her what she looks for in a guy and try to achieve that quality. but then again it's better to be true to youself and find someone compatible with u because other wise ur relationship will be just a scam
u'll get over her very soon don't worry. i've been in a similar situation b4 and it's a little uncomfortable. he's one of the nicest ppl i kno and i especially feel bad with his friends poking fun and all. he was just sorta unattractive imo (he's almost shorter than me!!) God forgive me. u can be the nicest person in the world but u can't force someone to like u back in that way. sort of unfair if u ask me but that's life

maybe if she gets a boyfriend u will get over it faster.

what have u done to deserve so much punishment in the hands of all the girls. lol u need deliverance
was she ur friend b4 u fell in love?[/quote]Lol ma sister na so we see am oooo. It could be a result of Karma from past mischiefs. Wetin God pikin go do? Thing be say I never friend the girl. I take style meet am collect hin number for one babikew like that. After time knack past, she con dey tell me say o boy you nice but I no dey fancy you like love. I press am press am she no gree. After small time I comot stay my own zone. Hope that explains everything.

No one kuku invited anyone with their two left chicken legs, abeg make I continue dey listen to my songs dey go humming to self #Oluwa lo foro si won lenu . . .#

Bisi bodi bodi Abeg take padlock sharrap your mouth make betta person hear word joh.

Anyways @ Siena,

I was hoping one of you two would take the more mature route of avoiding the public mudslinging, given the deducable fact that you are both grown ups. But don't listen to me sha, make una continue your yarns, me sef dey take style enjoy am small.

Blah blah blah I wish you tools would grow up and quit airing your dirty ass laundry in public.

JustGood:
I am not trying to defend my sisters. I am speaking what I believe is truth and if you find that too bitter to swallow, TOUGH!

It does not matter whether you posted as a Nigerian or not. Anyone can actually post and pretend to be anything they want to be so I dont care about what nationality you post as.

I am glad you consider me closed minded. I'd rather be closed minded than open my mind to accept that a lady who constantly marries and the men turn to devils overnight is not doing anything wrong. The fact that a woman constantly makes men become devils means that she is to be avoided like a plague. Rather than look inside herself and try changing whatever it is that makes every man become a devil once they get involved with her, she is pointing fingers and blaming all the men for her woes. Dont you think the fact that you are unable to fathom why every man you marry becomes a devil means that you are DAFT?

LOLOLOL I don laugh die oo

Once there was a girl I sort of fell for.  She wanted nothing more than friendship. Despite my attempts to make something more out of it by showering her with plenty attention, heck even ignoring her out of anger, or even being a sucker poruing out my heart and expressing my feelings.

Ju gbogbo e lo, just remember that sometimes people just won't fall for you or love you in return. Your ego would take a hit, but eventually you'er gonna have to move past it like I did. The one for you will come along soon enough.

I wouldn't hit a woman. Unless of course she turns into a raging bull that's gone wild. I would have to do whatever it takes to subdue her for my own safety.

Filling the void temporarily with crap is pretty much a waste of time. Rather wait and ensure I patch it up real good with something that will last a lifetime. That's what we're getting at

If you take into account that at first she was pushing to introduce him to her parents under the umbrella that she would feel more comfortable with her parents knowing who she's involved with - of course that sounds fine. But then you add on the newer aside that she's now making a fuss about him not yet introducing her to his parents.
All this lobbying to meet the parents must mean there's something else or somewhere else she's trying to go with this.


Poster, if you are hell bent on meeting his parents why not ask him to introduce you to them, since he seems reluctant to do it of his own accord.

What's the rush? You want to jump into marriage out of fear that your love will fade? Terrible mistake my friend. If your love can't survive the next few years, what makes you think marriage will be the solution to keeping that love buzz alive? Be sure you are ready before taking a big step like that. If she truly loves you she will be supportive and understanding.

She has a boyfriend. What is there to feel for her?
If she ends up cheating on her boyfriend with you, what makes you think she won't cheat on you with someone else?

boi boi you have got to be smarter man. Ditch girls like this sharp sharp.

my own be say i had thought i was in love a couple of times b4, but am getting to realize that just having someone there to fill a void sometimes makes you think there's some magic going on.

Category 1, was useless
Category 2, was a waste of time
Category 3, never did shape up
Cat5
Cat6
Cat7
etc you name it.

Eeya pele o

Funmi Deepzone

TNT: We know drama

Nairalanders and their kwagmaya

Lol it's only been 3 months. You sound desperate. Are you dating each other or are you actually dating each other's parents? Take a chill pill and at least try to enjoy getting to know each other while this "honey-moon period" is still looming like a cloud over your heads.

Silly gal .

Poster, that's if you haven't yet killed yourself with your "ibon"

Lol @ trying to break it down into three categories. You don fail.

Yehp sure would. Sounds like fun. Especially when the suspicions come creeping in and when all else fails.

ATLANTA, Georgia (CNN) -- Africa is not a country, and Africans generally do not live in trees or hunt game with spears. Nor do they all walk around in the nude among lions and zebras.


Chinedu Ezeamuzie shows some of his company's Web designs after an interview last week.

1 of 3 African immigrants to the United States say cartoonish caricatures and a Western media penchant for reporting on Africa's disease, hunger and war -- rather than the continent's successes -- trivialize their cultures. They complain they have trouble dispelling the stereotypes once they arrive in the States.

They concede, though, the myths run both ways and some say they were surprised to find their values more often aligned with those of white Americans than African-Americans.

"I have been laughed at because of my accent and asked all the ignorant questions," said iReporter Ajah-Aminata N'daw, 25, of Fall River, Massachusetts. "Questions like: Did I live on a tree? Roam the jungles naked? Have wild animals at home?"

N'daw emigrated from Dakar, Senegal, in 2001. She works in a hair-braiding salon and has met African-Americans who share her values of hard work and family, but in most cases, "we are raised differently, taught different values and held up to a different moral code." iReport: Read why N'daw is not African-American

Gaddafi Nkosi, 18, recently graduated from The Piney Woods School, a historically African-American boarding school about 22 miles southeast of Jackson, Mississippi. He has since returned to Pretoria, South Africa, but recalled well the misnomers he faced in the U.S.

"I came down from South Africa and so many people thought that maybe that's a jungle or maybe I'd go out chasing lions or something like that," he said. African, black students find common ground at Mississippi school »


'Black in America 2'
In July, Soledad O'Brien investigates what African-Americans are doing to confront the most challenging issues facing their communities. You'll meet people who are using groundbreaking solutions in innovative ways to transform the black experience.
July 22 & 23, 8 p.m. ET

see full schedule »
Nkosi's American classmates acknowledge their misconceptions. Cydney Smith, 17, of Nashville, Tennessee, said she once believed Africa was populated with "uncivilized tribes."

Raphael Craig, 17, of Hyattsville, Maryland, said the television misinformed him as well.

Before Craig visited the continent in 2005 and 2006, he thought of Africans as "half-naked, running around with tigers in the jungle," Craig said, confessing he was unaware tigers roam only Asia.

But in Ghana and Nigeria, Craig saw children playing the same games he and his siblings played. He saw many signs of modernity, including Mercedes and other brands of cars found in the United States.

"OK, this country is running how we're running, just two different schools," Craig recalled thinking. "It really opened my eyes to the point that everything you see on TV is not always the actual thing."

If the Western media are doing Africans no favors, then the African media are also a disservice to African-Americans because it portrays them as criminals, some immigrants say.

Sandi Litia, 19, a Piney Woods graduate from Limulunga, Zambia, said she was initially scared of African-Americans because the African media show them "wearing clothes like gangsters and killing each other."

Nkosi concurred that African media "made it seem as if they were these aggressive people that did nothing constructive with their lives except occupy prison space."

Trying to fit in

Chinedu Ezeamuzie, 21, of Athens, Georgia, arrived in 2003. He had spent the majority of his life in Jabriya, Kuwait, and came to the U.S. to pursue his education.

The recent Georgia Tech graduate said he considers himself Nigerian because his parents -- both from the village of Uga -- instilled in their four children strong Nigerian values of family, community, spirituality and self-betterment. Test your Africa knowledge with a quiz »

In Athens, Ezeamuzie found his ideals at odds with those who shared his skin color at Clarke Central High School, his first stint in a public school.

On his first day, he donned khakis, a button-down dress shirt and nice leather shoes. He caught the African-Americans' attention upon stepping into the cafeteria, he said.

"They give me the look," he said. "Why is this guy dressed like the white folks, like the preppy guys?"

Africans in America
U.S. states with the highest African immigrant populations:

• California (143,882)

• New York (141,958)

• Texas (110,042)

• Maryland (109,751)

• New Jersey (78,527)

• Georgia (69,548)

• Virginia (66,724)

• Massachusetts (65,151)

• Minnesota (63,612)

• Florida (59,176)

Source: U.S. Census Bureau Ezeamuzie didn't understand why so few black students were in his advanced-placement classes. He didn't understand the de facto lunchroom segregation or the accusing glances he got for eating with white classmates. One classmate called him a traitor and asked, "Do you not like black people?"

"My whole life I had reaped benefits from being in different circles and bridging them," so he wanted to fit in, he said. iReport: What are the unique struggles of being African in America?

He found clothes akin to what he saw many African-Americans wearing --- baggy pants and an oversized T-shirt. He relaxed his British-trained tongue and tried out for the basketball team, the 6-foot-5 Ezeamuzie said.

Ezeamuzie recalled finding himself more confused by his experience with some African-Americans: Why were they so cliquish? Why did they mock students for being intelligent? Why were they homophobic and bent on using the n-word? Why did every conversation seem to involve drugs, girls or materialism?

"They kind of accepted me. They saw me a little differently, but I was thinking this is a very narrow mindset," Ezeamuzie said.

Ezeamuzie and other Africans say they feel African-Americans too often dwell on slavery and the racism that has persisted for more than a century since the Emancipation Proclamation.

"We have all been tortured," said iReporter Vera Ezimora, 24, a Nigerian student living in Baltimore, Maryland. "Now that we are free, holding on to the sins of white men who have long died and gone to meet their maker is more torture than anything we have suffered." iReport: Read about questions Ezimora faced when she came to the U.S.

Values at core of misunderstanding?

Martin Mohammed, president of the U.S. African Chamber of Commerce, estimates there are 3 million African immigrants in the U.S. -- about twice the U.S. Census Bureau estimate. He has heard from numerous immigrants struggling to find commonalities with Americans who share their skin color.

Mohammed emigrated from Somalia in 1998 and is now naturalized. He considers himself African-American, but "it does not mean that I have already assimilated into the culture."

Values and upbringings may lie at the center of the cultures' misunderstanding of each other, he said.

Many Africans come to the U.S. to escape dire conditions such as poverty or civil war. Their objectives are often advancing their education or finding good jobs, Mohammed said.

They also strive to reunite their families, or at least support them back home. Remittances from the U.S. to Africa total about $20 billion annually, according to the World Bank.

However, African immigrants find that education and good jobs elude their African-American brethren, and there is a perception that many African-American men aren't committed to supporting their families, Mohammed said.

The two cultures have much to teach each other -- especially politically and economically -- but they must accept they have something to learn.

"Honestly, what we need to do is realize both cultures are important," Mohammed said.

Myths thrive on ignorance

iReporter Emeka Aniukwu, 35, hails from Ebenebe, Nigeria, and said he has heard all the American misperceptions about Africa, but the cure to ignorance is communication.

He began dating Sonya Roberts, 25, of Austin, Texas, shortly after he arrived in the U.S. four years ago. She taught him about African-American culture, and he taught her about Nigeria. The two married last month.

"Talk to people, stop showing ugly face and don't be shy about your accent," he advised African immigrants. "Most of the media coverage about Africa is all about hunger, diseases and war, so what do you expect? People are curious and just want to know, so calm down and educate them as much as you can." iReport: Read why Aniukwu loves Africa-Americans

Don't Miss
iReport.com: Share your story as an African in the U.S.
Sound off: How can we make black America better?
U.S. African Chamber of Commerce
In Depth: Black in America
At Piney Woods, where about 35 of the 200 students emigrate from Africa, the school's president, Reginald Nichols, concurs that education is integral to understanding.

He's heard Africans say the African-Americans are aggressive, while the African-Americans accuse Africans of being reserved -- but the more they mingle the more they mesh, he said.

"You have the African students tell me that they have learned so much about standing up from the African-American students, and the African-American students said they've learned how to simmer down, so it's a wonderful thing," Nichols said.

Mohammed, too, said he'd like to see more African-Americans dispelling myths about Africa, which is increasingly important as Africans in the U.S. begin wielding more economic influence.

The chamber estimates African immigrants have about $50 billion in annual purchasing power. Numbers from the University of Georgia's Selig Center of Economic Growth indicate the number is just behind the nation's Native American community, which had $61.8 billion in buying power last year. The entire African-American market was estimated at $913 billion and the Hispanic market at $951 billion.

History dictates that economic power precedes political power. Mohammed said Africans can learn much about politics from African-Americans because of their "level of influence in Washington."

"I'm also interested to the extent that the black population can play a role in solving global conflict. We can help these discussions around the globe, but we must begin here in the U.S.A.," he said.


iReporter Faraji Goredenna, 53, of Layton, Utah, said he encourages African-Americans to learn more about Africa and lend a hand to Africans so they know "America's institutions and opportunities are open to them, too." iReport: Read how Goredenna embraces both cultures

But he'd like a symbiotic relationship, he said, explaining, "We African-Americans want to learn more about our history and culture as it exists in Africa, but we have also created a culture for ourselves here that we ask our brothers and sisters from Africa to respect."

http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/07/14/africans.in.america/index.html

Pardon the interruption Doctors. Carry on without my/our interference.

kitlady02:
@C2H5OH, r u serious, i hv a frnd whose bf of 4yrs hv bin cheatin on her n believes dat "a man cn love u n still cheat on u" so wt do u hv 2 say abt dat one.
@pasakosa n the seeker, lwkm
@whoma, i think u hv a point.

Of course he can "love" you. Sometimes we have no control over how the chemicals in our body behave/misbehave. It's way too easy to get sprung - be it for the right or even wrong reasons. The real question is can he love you "right"? Can he love you the way you deserve to be or want to be "loved"? Can he love you with "respect"? Can he love you and do right by you is the ultimate question. Any fool can fall in love. Even fools fall in love as they say.


@ your friend,
If your boyfriend of 4 years is cheating on you and you know about it and still allow it to continue, something terrible is wrong somewhere with her image of herself. You must have sunk to an all time low with the belief somewhere in your heart that no other man out there can love you better than he does. That is utter bullshit. Lecture her to break out of the cycle and do away with the scum. Cheating is never okay. It is an emotional burden and a slap in the face to someone you claim to love.

Ah ahn what else is there to see?. Is someone else occupying the spot or what? OP is already assuming is birth right? I'm happy for you.

That's funny about the twin bed. I outgrew mine a while back. It's funny now whenever I sleep on one, my legs are always sticking out at the edge.

Abeg go sleep. Make room sha make I join you. I'll try not to bite.

v3nom4eva:
@oyinda n ethanol


if una wan , abeg do!!! if NOT, go sleep. . . tssssssshhhhhwwwwwwww

shior he be like say you dey lonely. If not you for dey your woman side dey keep am busy. yeye guy.

What do you mean by freak?  Lost inside your highlight is where I said I manage my sexual urges very well.
I'm not a saint nor am I a womanizer lol.  What else is a brother to say?
Women are the ones who would normally pretend to be dense about matters of sex.

Go and sleep then. My sleep cycle is owned so I won't be sleeping for another hour at least, unless some divine miracle causes me to fall asleep.

yes I said freak. Now thinking about it that word might have been out of place.

Lol I don't mean freak like that o. Not like some monster or character out of a story book, geez.

MRbrownJAY:
LOL, or a Loretta BOBBITT on his sorry ass.

Lol That would be a major disaster.