Nothing is tough here, baba.


I was in Ibadan, with my pregnant wife, when I got a job with a company and I was posted to the North.


Left my pregnant wife to manage our 4 years old business in Ibadan while I moved to the North.


My wife put to bed 6 weeks after I resumed work up North and I couldn't even attend the naming ceremony of my new baby.



I visited home (Ibadan) only once every month for 5 years.


Got another job with another company later and I was taken further up North but I still managed to visit home once in a month for another 2 years.



After 7 years sojourn in the North, I got another job that took me to Lagos.



Now, I visit home every weekend, the baby of that time is now 16 years old and the budding business I left with my wife then is now worth several millions of Naira.



My son is well- behaved, we are glad and very comfortable.


No sacrifice is too much for a loving couple to build a strong future for themselves and their children when they have the energy to do so.



NB: One thing that worked in my favour is that my wife is super FAITHFUL and LOYAL, up till now.


Won't advise any man who doubts the sincerity and faithfulness of his wife to take the decision I took at that time.



Good luck in whatever decision you take.








Also, note that it will take a big deal of effort on my part to convince my current supervisors that I want to leave them for Abuja.

They actually would be heartbroken because they almost always recommend me for promotion over the other guys I met in the new department.

Makes me feel like I am about to betray them but the truth for me is Family first over job/career for me. [/quote]

Short, stubborn HELL- RUFAI!

What a balanced view here! You do not only have depth, you've got great wisdom and pragmatic knowledge.


Well done bro.




Abeg no mind the OP my brother. Who says marriage provides comfort, happiness and long life in all circumstances? Nah it doesn’t folks.

1. Some married guys here in America that I know don’t even get regular s ex from their wife anymore because they feel they got the man caged already and if he leaves her, (divorce) - then financial calamity will befall him with regards to alimony, child support, splitting the estate and other drag on here and there.

2. The nagging too na helele. I have had one or two friends just before the pandemic who were almost living with me - they come in on Friday and leave on Sunday just to escape an irritating and over entitled wife from running up their blood pressure unending. You need to see the excitement on their faces when they arrive my place for the weekend and my wife initially didn’t understand why these guys were doing this but with time she got the picture, and she even validated my conclusion about the awkward complacencies most women display after securing the marital vow from a man - “for better for worse - love and to cherish, till death do us part..... bla bla bla”

3. There is a reason some companies here in America and even in Nigeria seldom hire permanent staff. They hire on contract basis. Now, I know someone may say what’s the difference if both contract and permanent staff can both be fired. However, it is harder to fire a permanent staff without incurring legal and financial liabilities. Same with marriage, when you tie yourself up with legal complexities just to cling to one individual for life, then you must be ready to go through the headache to untangle yourself when things go sour, and it surely will over time - because every man has his price and every dog has it’s day!

4. It takes 2 people in agreement to get married, but it takes the consent of just 1 of the 2 to destroy everything. Any human being can change, over time - because change is the only constant thing in life - and every human being is a sucker for one or multiple things of life - only known to that individual.

For a man - some of us can not resist a very beautiful and brilliant woman. Now, when she is the one initiating flirts with you, it becomes a level playing field between her and your wife for the battle for your love, affection and attention. If the beautiful woman respects you, cooks good for you and doesn’t nag you as a side chic, then your wife is in for a real fight going forward because every man appreciates peace of mind and sweet food. If she is good in bed and your wife over time has become a boring, entitled and nagging sister at home, then calamity has come knocking on the marriage and a divorce is imminent.

Same for the woman, if she is a sucker for money, sweet talks, material things and good looks, but somehow got married because her biological clock was ticking and she is getting pressured at home to get married by her parents - then whatever is available (which is you becomes her dream man at that period) . However, when all dust settles and she is no longer on the edge about her biological clock because she now has a kid or 2, and a man who she exploits financially in a marriage, she is now in a vantage position to use positive screeners to find that which her mind truly yearns for and whenever she finds it and that person is a willing collaborator, she will turn 360 degrees against you. You will keep wondering what has gone wrong? Nothing went wrong foolish husband- your wife has been dealing with you as an alternative to her real dream man. Now she has found him and she sees you as a mistake she urgently needs to correct.

5. Money, power, fame or spiritual superiority can’t tame any partner in a marriage. We have seen that with Bill Gates, Micheal Jordan, Brad Pitt, Chris Okotie, Chris Oyakhilome and even Aso Rock’s own Aisha Buhari here in Nigeria where she feels very comfortable staying away from her husband in Dubai for half a year. So what are we not talking about ?


6. I honestly don’t believe a man will ever stay with one woman and not stray for maximum one year and I don’t believe a woman can be committed to one man and not stray for 2 years. If she is not straying then she must be an ugly and irritating sit-at-home-all-day lady that nobody wants. IF if he is not straying, he must be a dirt poor loner who lacks basic confidence to initiate and hold a conversation with a lady for even 30 minutes.


With all these being said, baby mama comes from the freedom it affords both parties (the man and the woman) to stop breathing on each other’s neck and give each other the space and opportunity to keep excelling without the suffocating complexities of an irritating spouse

And who says products from a baby mama can’t be great? Barack Obama is one, and he is one of the greatest black men to ever walk on the surface of the earth and a role model to hundreds of millions of people world wide. I know someone will say but his father married his mother - yes, they did just to take pictures lol, because the father was off before Barack even turned 3 years old and since then his (now late) mom and her family took care of him

So, OP stop propagating neediness, insecurity and lack of capacity for adults to stand their ground and hold on to face the vicissitudes of life because you want them to desperately cling to another human to bail them out with pity parties when life throws them a curve? nah- Instead I will encourage everyone to get on their A game and enjoy their life, independent of any other human being’s perpetual manipulation and psychological slavery.


As for kids born out of wedlock, they will be fine. A baby daddy can support the welfare of the kid as the spirit leads him because even kids you raise in a marriage sometimes will turn against the you their father and give priority to the mom when they grow up because right under your nose, the indoctrination was taking place whenever you are away to work and you didn’t even realize it


So baby mama or marriage is ok for anyone- it all depends on what you are comfortable with

I rest my case!!![/quote]

How many of you guys suffering same?




Please, DM me. Thanks

May God bless the work of her hands and uplift her to heights she never imagined.


Be persistent, be contented, be happy.

This is it! Well done bro!!





quote author=Mikester post=98448448]In your next relationship, never expect total faithfulness from a woman. It keeps you on your feet. Blind love makes you less intelligent. Don't subscribe to it. It's of no use to you in a relationship else you want to be mentally destroyed.

Moreover, Men aren't meant to be overly emotional. They're meant to dominate. As a matter of fact women are attracted to and value men who are less emotional and more logical. They get wet for a man who has more pride and less emotions. If you're man reading this, use this to your advantage. It's necessary to know that emotions are attractive in women not men.


Bonus :> A guy is more likely to spend on a lady if all he does is chasing her.

Attracting ladies benefits a man more than chasing her. If a man attracts a lady, he'll be less bothered on spending on her. Women all over the world are generally attracted and more likely to fall in love with men with status, wealth, looks, intelligence, respect, education, ambition, a sense of humour and more height than them.

Try having at least 5 of these traits and women would flock around you like ants to sugar. You become the prize and they will try their best to impress you which makes you put little effort in sustaining the relationship.




Embrace this truth and you might find that relationship happiness that has always eluded you. [/quote]

You goofed bro! The question is very formal.


You ended up exhibiting ignorance and a bit of arrogance.


You may still be called for the job, God on your side.



Do not make this kind of mistake again in future.

Nairaland!

You are smart bro.





quote author=Jaqenhghar post=97137209]This nigger is a low key pedo[/quote]

Wisdom-packed!



quote author=jidamsel43 post=96059450]You don't need to rush to make a hasty decision on this because many 'strange' things happen in a marriage that requires wisdom and patience. I began to realize some things recently when I got married which made me conclude that Marriage is full of strange and peculiar situations. Since my marriage late last year, my tolerance, patience, forbearance have increased. I have been to a point of raising my hand to hit her but I deployed caution and restraint. There is no issue or circumstance in a marriage that surpasses the use of patience and wisdom.

Back to the issue at hand, call your wife and inquire why she decided to embark on the journey without your permission. if she gives you a convincing response, please let it slide down like that. Anybody that tells you to come hard on your wife just wants to destabilize your happy home. If your wife's reason is reasonable to some extent, you have to accept her and just warn her not to take the unilateral decision again.

I have been confronted with issues more serious than this. My wife and I are still together better and stronger. There is no perfect man or woman.

We are just managing ourselves [/quote]

Among the plethora of pressing needs Nigerians are facing, it is Covid- 19 vaccine that is of immediate priority to this directionless administration.




What happens to inflation, food shortage, skyrocketing prices of energy, stagnant & decaying educational system, poor health care and a host of other life-threatening needs confronting Nigerians daily.



How bad is Covid -19 in Nigeria today?



How does Covid-19 of use to the traders at Bodija or Igbudu markets who hustle daily for survival?



It is unfortunate that today, we do not have a country.

Absolutely true!

Zzor:
One of the easiest way to hold a man down is to born plenty for him head,let me see how he will have spear time and resources to mess around,mercy is exactly doing that LMAO

You are correct.


Chief (Mrs) Onikepo Akande's husband is Chief Adebayo Murtala Akande, the 'Agbaakin Olubadan of Ibadan land'.


Chief Adebayo Akande owns Splash FM, Challenge, Ibadan.







quote author=everyevery post=93401563][/quote]

Mad o!


Emotional currency eats away a good chunk of ones time. Meanwhile, TIME is money.

Pavillon:
Very true write up,

but for me, I dumped my girlfriend few months after nysc, I couldn't afford extra baggage.. like i just sat down and i observed everything, Me that i cannot even fend for myself, still struggling hard to even get money to attend interviews and you expect me to be show love and care. Even tho shes not a demanding girl, but she was demanding for my time and attention which was all concentrated on finding and a job... and sometimes she always wants us to hangout,
Hnagout when I've calculated that in a week i will get an interview to attend, will i use my tfare to now hangout>

I just summoned courage and did the needful.

although some other factors are attached.

But my own is, if you are mentally,emotionally and financially not capable to keep a relationship after service, just end it and focus on yourself. Life after service is not funny.I thank God for life anyway

Nice write up for serious-minded youth.


There is really no competition in life as over 80% of the people out there do not know what they want.


Only less than 20% of the folks out there have goals and pursue same vigorously, patiently, with all sense of determination, crushing obstacles along the way.



One will always get what one wants if one believes in ones goal(s) and persists in running after same.

Very durable TV: Sony, Sharp, Panasonic


Durable TV: Samsung


Undurable TV: LG

Kai! Bad mouth

Heffalump:
With money, a woman can marry anything. Checkout the looks of Oshiomhole in those pictures

I guess one handsome bobo must have been servicing Iyara to keep her body and soul together and for her mental health

Greed! Disloyalty!! Betrayal!!! Disastrous mix.

Granted, not good to be greedy.


It is worse to feel betrayed.

OP,


Please visit a Dental Clinic and have the lower tooth on the right CAPPED.

That'll help bridge the opening on your lower gum to a large extent or completely.


Good luck.

No truer comment has been written.


It is pretty difficult to bring jealous family members together.

zachanalysis:
Your palaver is a common case these days. To a larger degree, the disunity that is now common in most families of today is traceable to two factors- the Innate jealous nature of man and the warped prophesy of dubious clergymen.
Jealousy sets in when one or very few members of a family are progressing while many others are not. This naturally creates bad blood and jealousy. The unsuccessful ones see the successful ones as not better than them and wonders why they should be the ones succeeding and not them. This scenario is made a lot more worse when the successful ones happen to be arrogant and try to appropriate all the respect to themselves even at the expense of those much older than them in the family. Normally, a sensible man should see others success as a promoter for him to work harder or do things better. Over here, what most people do is consult spiritualists - Alfa, Pastors or some weird looking baba who, rather than tell them the truth about doubling their hustle, would come up with warped up prophesy that the successful ones are behind their misfortunes. This not only fire up the hatred, it raises it to the power of infinity. Religion is expected to naturally improve relationship among people. I'm pressed to say however, that our own version of religion- especially our interpretation of Christianity and Islam is seriously promoting division and fueling the ambers of hatred in families today.

You? Very funny comment.





:-

doggedfighter:
How come this old man is still involved in cult activities?

See the surprised look on his face at death

It's only in Nigeria that bullet pulls people's trousers

His community can sleep peacefully now

Hello Paul,


Hope you get to read this.


I made same mistake; I impregnated my long time girlfriend who now has a 5-year-old daughter for me.


No woman, I repeat, no woman will ever truly forgive any man such infraction.


My advice:

Take off your mind from your wife and children for the meantime. If possible, get a new apartment for yourself.



Give adequate, quality attention to your son (from your mistress) for now. He, and at least, one of your 5 children will be your succor tomorrow, worse case scenario.


Women detest competition and they do not wish their men to have ALTERNATIVES; that drives them crazy.


You will become happier and alive instead of drowning emotionally like you are doing at the moment.


If your mistress is still single, get closer to her and you'll be happy you did.


Do not make the mistake of marrying her hurriedly though. Just keep her as a mistress.


If she is married, just bond with your son like never before.


Your wife will likely come around and behave much better to you. The 3 older children will do same.



If the above does not happen, get someone else pregnant, leave the other kids for your wife and move on with your life knowing that you, at least, have 2 children who will love, respect, and adore you and check on you when you become old.


This is Africa. Men can marry more than 1 wife. No woman should hold you to ransom for any reason; not when you work hard and make good money to take care of your family.


Cheers

Takunland,


Please get in touch on this e mail id: Sunintercon@yahoo.com


Cheers

Which Nigerians should prepare for trouble?


The ones who wine & dine with trouble even when crude oil price was high in the international market?


Those of you who have been stealing our common wealth are the ones in trouble because you will have relatively little to loot now.

Chai!!!

Mr100Dollars:
Make and money and marry your dream girl.

I can never settle for less, I can never marry a woman out of pity, I can never marry a girl because of nonsense pressure.

I want to wake up by the side of a beautiful, loving and caring woman everyday, I want a woman that immediately i see her face a smile will just come from no where.

Not those girls with big protruding stomach full of beans and big bottle Pepsi, bad breath, artificial face, unintelligent, Zee world addict and tramadol/codeine and marijuana girls.

Yobo is a lucky man, enjoy your retirement.

Congrats in advance.

Excellent idea!

[/quote][quote author=KngGezy post=83600196]Jeez I need this celebrity status oo

But Nairaland ought to have it's own made celebrities na

Those who are Nairalanders yet have an inspiring stories of grass to grace

Nairalanders who have excelled in various fields. This ought to be a weekly feature not just these people who has little or no impact on the nation that make front page every now and then

Seun please look into promoting our own. Nairaland to the world

The only reason the foreign owned telcos have not killed Nigerians with cut-throat tarrifs and other charges is Globacom.


If Glo is not in the picture, other telcos in Nigeria would have extorted Nigerians to no end.

Bode George is a politician who knows very little or nothing about business.


Does Bode George know that these people get foreign loans, at single digit interest rate, to run their businesses?

Exposure on foreign media gives the brands a boost in the above regard as foreign financial institutions know and reckon with the brands via such int. media exposure. before carrying out other necessary checks.

Glo! The undisputable, foremost customer-centric Telco in Nigeria.


Tuale!!

Hmmmmmm! Marriage!!


This is my advice for you:

1. If you are a very STRONG man, one who can take control and be in charge of situations, marry the goal- oriented lady.


2. If you are a WEAK man, one who can easily be CONTROLLED by a woman/wife, please do not marry anyone of the ladies or any woman at all.


Just have a child or 2 with a baby mama, face your life and take care of your child/children from a distance.


Marriage is not for WEAK men!

The heart of a man is desperately wicked; so true.