₦airaland Forum

I hope this makes sense to people.

A man is happy with his immediate family, every day he eats three times and say thank you to his both parents. They are happy he was their son, so they never complained he wouldn’t go independent. Then one day he gets the urge to move out, they ask him why; did your mother refuse to put two pieces of meat in your soup? Did your father not answer you when you greeted him? He replies ‘nothing, I just want to move out’.

Now, he is out, things have changed, he now cooks and cleans, he washes and arranges, he sweeps and makes the dishes all by himself. But there is a problem; whenever he was at work he worries that he would get home and wouldn’t find food to eat. It is not that he has no foodstuff, he has them but he will still have to cook them first so that he might lose appetite that night, he might be unable to iron his shirts for the next day and he might be late to work because of home chores.

He decides he needed a help, he needs a wife; he could do all these alone but time is of essence. He sees a girl the next day and decides she is beautiful for him, he didn’t mind what anybody might say about her size or skin colour, about her academic attainment or character, about her social life and abstinence, all that matters to him was that he thinks he loves her and love conquers all.

This young girl is happy with her family and so was her family with her, he tells her he wants to marry her then she became happier for reasons known to her, she accepted but on conditions, thus she said: I agree to get married to you, to be your helper as the book of faith instructed but what do I get in return for all these? ‘I will love you entirely', he replied but that wasn’t enough because she is learned from experience. ‘Promise you will not have another mistress, you will provide for me whatever I ask for and you will never hit me’. ‘I promise’.

He did all that was needed and finally brought her to his home, she liked it and immediately resumed her duty as agreed and signed not on paper but based on trust. As people of faith, sex was for procreation and not for satisfaction so children became of paramount importance but that was the beginning of problem. At first, he feared he cannot impregnate his wife but after the first five months she missed her period and they were both happy.

Seventh months later, he resumed his previous duty, he was bound to home chores once again, he fetched and cooked, cleaned and swept, mopped and arranged but that wasn’t enough, she felt cheated. Her body swelled, her beauty depreciated, her tummy pained and back ached. After she gave birth, her flat tummy rumpled, her modeling physique became robust and she added weight mercilessly. In-laws no longer talk about her beauty, now was how beautiful the baby was and the husband, she endured.

Post natal period is over and she becomes lazy to home chores, becomes addicted to social networks and demands the home chores be shared between her and her husband. At first he laughed over it and did some whenever he was free, later, sex became rationed, only when she wanted and when it was time to have another baby she refused saying ‘I cannot carry another parasite’. He gave her time to change her mind but she wouldn’t so he hits her, it had the worst effect on him, the moment he hits her he had greater urge to hit her the more, every day, every time he was chanced.

Now she does all the home chores alone, she became pregnant on compulsion, had miscarriage, went to coma and became pregnant again, still he hits her. He hits her yesterday, I was there, then he was arrested and charged to court but he won the case. How did he win that case you may ask but, ‘If I can become pregnant myself, if I can do all the home chores without it interfering with my job, if I can be a companion to myself, why then do I need you dear wife? I will change but you have to give me time’.

'Not too fine' ladies are always more successful than the 'fine faced' ones. Why?