₦airaland Forum

Wow! I am truly impressed. Voting in Nigeria normally creates enmity, but here I've seen it actually bringing warring parties together. Nice.

cogicero:
what i know for a fact is that some christ embassy people created dummy accounts (probably after creating free yahoo emails) in the names of their friends and family and made them follow pastor chris by force, and sent the username and password to the users and told them to log in and enjoy the updates. marketing toh bahd. if that is a lie, i ask you to deny it here.

A relative tried to get my wife to follow him on twitter in the same way.

In my opinion, this thread dealt with 3 main issues:

1) Was the poster right in refusing the housemaid? It seems the majority answer was YES. This is also my view because I believe every man knows himself and should therefore place the right controls around him to help him maintain his integrity.

2) Communication. I think we can learn a lot from Chaircover about openness in relationships. For me it's also what works in my marriage.

3) A man's natural urges (Libido or whatever other name we can think of). This was a big issue for me. The very fact that the man was attracted to the housemaid somehow led to questions about his morality, his marriage etc. My point was that this is not necessarily true. From what I know about men (myself and guys I interact with) it's natural to find certain types of women attractive - each man has his type. For most of the men of integrity that we see out there, we have NO IDEA what goes on in their minds. Obviously, anonymous forums like this allow people to speak their minds so you can get to learn a lot. In the world out there, we can only judge integrity by actions, not what a man feels like doing (however brief the feeling is).

YAY! The thread continues.

bhusayor:
4get all dse medical back up of hormones,4get gurls walking around half unclothed,stop justifying wat is pointless,stop making faithfulness on d man's part' a FAVOUR' 2 the women, its self discipline on your own part n u earn respect 4 it, its not as if dse few minutes of pleasure prolongs your life, we have real men dat dont lust after everything in skirts!,

Thanks for the thread! I was sad when the other thread started winding down

One thing I want to point out is that you can't forget biology. An average man's body produce waaaayyy more testosterone than an average woman's.

You're right to critisize the men that don't control those urges. What separates us from animals is that we have highly developed minds, so (if we choose to as some of us have done) we know what to do to prevent us from acting on those urges.

However, you can't critisize men for having those urges because we had no say in how we were created. When the poster in the other thread confessed to finding the housegirl attractive, some people went as far as questioning his morals.

There's no point denying men's physical nature. The evidence is all around us of those that have decided to succumb. Some of them will sleep with any female that moves.

It doesn't mean that those that those of us that don't sleep around don't have similar urges. I have been married for a few years now, I have never even come close to straying.

So the answer is, a man's libido occurs naturally. His best form of control is to put safeguards around himself. It is up to each man to determine his safeguards.

Ujujoan:
I'm not encouraging the man to hire the househelp oh. I'm just saying that a man who can't control himself around a teenage househelp is not responsible. Period!

Ok, everyone especially Ujujoan, please forgive me. I know this topic should have ended long ago, but just one more thing, abeg

You're right, a man who can't control himself and goes ahead and sleeps with a teenage househelp is not responsible.

Ujujoan
Picture your bf as your husband
Picture the barmaid as your housegirl
Picture a day when you're at work and your husband couldn't go to work so it's just him and pretty lady with mutual attraction at home.

It's possible nothing will happen, but,

pslm23:
whether a man puts on the appearance of having moral standards or not, the fact still remains that 99% of men will throw away their moral standards when faced with serious temptations. It's been happening for ages and will continue to happen.
Women have a stronger will to fight temptations than men. Men are programmed to cheat and lust after what isn't theirs period!

Any guy intending to remain faithful to his wife might as well give up now. It turns out we only have a 1% chance of success!

I just luuurrrvve Nairaland!

chaircover:
You people are cracking me up here    ewo tun ni chairlady?

Anyway, very few people are facing the reality of what is going on. Now I dont have statistics but being a little long in the tooth, I know that most affairs start OUTSIDE of the home.

I also know that many many peeps spend more waking hours at work than they do at home.

Ok for argument sake, he looked long enough at the housegirl during the interview to notice and process that he is likely to fall into temptation with her . . . . . .

. . . . . . .  . I want us all to be truthful here o! but will the same man not fall into temptation with his cute 22 year old PA? or the pretty busty 24 year old that serves him every day at his local eatery? or the 23 year old  confident flawless skinned girl from the accounts dept who he gives a lift to the bus stop every day?

Will he not be tempted by the tall and hazel eyed girl from sales who sits beside him on the long ride home on the staff bus? Will he not be tempted by his colleagues girlfriends friend who comes from unilag to visit them in the office?

What if the guy is a business man and does a lot of overnight travel with his secretary? Will he not fall?

IMO A man who can stoop so low as to even considering wanting to bang his housegirl will eventually fall for one of the scenarios above

Morals and the vows of marriage seem to be 20 kobo these days and Some of the men on this forum are talking as if they have no control over their libido; which is quite scary.

I do however beleive that for some married men, even though they come in contact with nice looking ladies on a daily basis; It is his integrity that stops him from taking it any further.

And to people insisting that 60 year old housemaids are the way to stop a man from being unfaithful, if as a wife you carry on tying wrapper round your chest all day and do the missionarystyle night after night for 5 years, and cook salty soup om a regular basis, then you run the risk of the man being tempted by he 60 year old.

Lets face it, if a man is tempted by his househelp, there is no guarantee that he wont be tempted by his wife's junior sister bearing in mind that the wife's sister will most probably have the same  "assets" & mannerisms etc and the same things that made him fall for his wife.

Again for the record before y'all come down on me like a ton of bricks. I never said that he should employ the housegirl. All I am saying is that he should look within into why he thinks that it is very likely that he will fall into bed with the girl.

I rest my case. Peace.

On average, an adult male produces about 10 times as much testosterone as an adult female. It occurs naturally, no amount of looking within will change that.

If he is determined not to cheat on his wife, then he should do what it takes to prevent that. For the record, if a man has decided not to cheat on his wife, then attractive women that we see in public settings are not a problem, so you can discount the PA and work colleague examples.

Poster, as a married man who has long held the view that a man should be faithful to his wife, I applaud your decision to reject the maid.

You know your wife the most, so trust your instinct when thinking of a way to gently get her to drop this maid as an option.

As much as I love my wife, I do see other attractive women out and about, but in passing. The only attractive woman that I will have in my house day in, day out with long periods of us being alone together is MY WIFE!!!

These questions come up because not all aspects of society evolve at the same pace.

Generations ago, men had a much stronger hold on the work force. A career oriented woman was rarer than what we see today.

Women have rightfully fought for more equality in the work place and gradually (depending on what country you're in) we're getting there.

Given the additional economic wealth that a woman can now bring into a home, I am really baffled by the reluctance of some of those women to contribute to the home. Did women fight for economic equality just so they could spend the resources on themselves (and as some have pointed out, on their kids)? If that's the case, then what is the nature of the love these women have for their husbands?

The male flip side of this is that as women are now devoting more time to the work place, they don't have as much time for domestic chores. In the name of a more holistic evolution of society, this is where men as well must step in to contribute to the domestic aspects of the home. If a man refuses to help a working woman with household chores, then the question comes up again, what is the nature of love that the man has for his wife?

That someone's ancestors held a view does not necessarily make it valid today. Society evolves.

People, (going back to the topic), the issue here is that there was a strong suspicion that IBB just wanted to get rid of Vatsa. It's only IBB and Vatsa that would ever know the true story between them.

The evidence against Vatsa was circumstantial. Apart from the Ojukwu regime's execution of Victor Banjo et al in Biafra in 1967, this was the first time that the charge of "conspiracy to commit treason" had been punished with the death penalty. This charge of "conspiracy to commit treason" (or treasonable felony) is the same offence Chief Awolowo was jailed for.

Going back to the evidence, a few years ago General Domkat Bali who was key to IBB's regime, confirmed that he did not believe the evidence was strong enough to warrant Vatsa's conviction and execution.

In criminal charges, especially one involving life & death, you need to prove  guilt "beyond reaonable doubt". The evidence, from what I have been able to gather includes:

- A "farming loan" of N10,000, given by Vatsa to one of the coup plotters.

- Rumours that someone at a party had announced Vatsa as the next head of state.


Please note that the main actors involved in the coup confirmed that at no time was Vatsa ever involved in any of their meetings.

I don't have access to any official documents (I don't think these were made public), so I have had to gather information from various sources and make a personal judgement about their credibility.

There are various sources of info on the web, but one I feel is credible is in the link below.

http://www.omoigui.com/2004/09/the_vatsa_consp.html


You can also watch the following link on Youtube at your leisure. It includes a testimony from one of the alleged coup plotters who was eventually released, Lt Col Moses Effiong.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yng0GMGZ-LU

Both links are quite long to read/watch and contain many parts.

SirJohn, please remember to email the group pastor conversation to my correct email address, clausvonstauffenberg@hotmail.co.uk

SirJohn:
Sorry to burst your bubble Jo , Its not for nairaland consumption, same with several other things I've kept back. they're all for my grand plan.
I believe the people I requested for their emails or cellphone numbers will make good friends, I've spoken with some of them today including my friend from SA. Lovely people!!

Sorry SirJohn, email is actually clausvonstauffenberg@hotmail.co.uk

Joagbaje:
@ Sirjohn why making it secret. Make it open nawn! . Ye ye! Congregation of cowards! .

Perhaps you should oblige him SirJohn.

I only just started posting comments on Nairaland and was counting down to the first time I would get dissed, I guess this was it.

SirJohn:
@KunleOshob, Claus, Nuclearboy, Siyanda.N, May I have your email addy or cellphone numbers?
Thanks

Please send to clausvonstauffenberg@hotmail.com. Thanks.

Joagbaje:
You are correct . But the person that couldn't make it down would not need to feel bad.   Even now, due to more growth with the exploits or regions like south africa.  The south African are wonderful . They started churches everywhere.  Namimbia, Zimbabwe etc. They are hungry for God. New zones had to be created in that region as pastor chris announced during this month communion service. Now  we are confronting more thousands coming for conference. The target for churches had to be cut down the more. So now even if you meet financial target, it's no guarantee you will attend.so many that are qualified would still be able to register. So if a church has space for only 200 . The first two hundred to register will go. It's first come first serve. But for others who will not go , there is provision to participate online and through out satellite station. So no one is losing out.

Having been a member of CE for 8 years, I'm aware of the Camp Meetings, Ladies and Men, CRC, IPPC etc. I guess my point comes from observing a certain unhealthy (in my opinion) attitude towards money.

If people want to be part of IPPC, then I'm glad that money is no longer a constraint. I just pray for all those who threw financial discipline out of the window in the name of attending IPPC, some of whom are still in significant debt. These are real life stories of people I know.

SirJohn:
Sometimes when I read Siyanda.N posts, I can immediately relate to the passion because I've been there as well. It only takes you to have been there to fully understand what we are saying. It took courage from God for me to finally walk away and I am ever so grateful for that decision; I am also very much grateful to God for my elder sister a pastor in the ministry who also resigned and walked away shortly after hearing the taped conversation between me and the group pastor.

As a former CE member, my curiousity has got the better of me, SirJohn, are you able to provide a transcript of the conversation?

Joagbaje:
@claus
Inner circle is based on devotion and commitment. It could be money, time energy, availability and dependability.

Ofcourse , that's a heavy financial project. He won Jesus respect. Because a man that could have used his money for other pleasures but rather  he used it to build house of worship. It reaveals the heart of such seeker.

Matthew 6:21
21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

I guess we'll have to agree to disagree on this one. I believe Jesus was more interested in a person's heart than in their finances, that's why Jesus looked favourably upon the widow who gave two mites, as well as the centurion who was involved in a "heavy financial project".

My take is that, as is the case with IPPC, if the value of money is the measure we use for a person's heart, then we will exclude people that Jesus would have included.

We all know no one is perfect though, and we are not expecting perfection from the organisers of IPPC.

BTW, I used to attend IPPC, but no one ever asked for my giving. I guess the cost of my plane ticket from London was enough proof of my commitment. There were people arguably more commited than I was that couldn't afford it though.

Joagbaje:
Now concerning our financial participation. It's very important how we use our money to serve God. Despite the fact that Jesus would not minister to Gentiles , a man got Jesus attention because he built a place of worship . Jesus would not want to go but the disciples pressed on him by giving report that the man had built a house of worship. Did Jesus go? Yes he changed his mind.

Luke 7:4-6
4 And when they came to Jesus, they besought him instantly, saying,  5[b] For he loveth our nation, and he hath built us a synagogue.[/b] 6 Then Jesus went with them.----

The seed of the man made way for him. All through scriptures, men would give sacrificially are commended by God. So likewise we partners in ministry, are of value , not only to the ministry but to God as well.  Paul commended those who are his parners and speak good of them .

I believe the example you used here is not a fair one. You talked about Jesus essentially having an "inner circle". This "inner circle" wasn't based on money. The centurion's case is one where he needed healing for his servant, and the disciples convinced Jesus on his behalf because of the synagogue he built.

Joagbaje:
Well that apart. Jesus had about thousands that listened to him.But he didn't  teach them everything he taught the other disciples. Sometimes he even spoke in parables to them and give the interpretations to the few later in the day. You may call Jesus partial or selective.   He also had  120  committed disciples , among this 120 he had 70 that were closer to him which he found worthy to send out and gave them power over unclean spirits. Yet  among these 120 he had 12 apostles that were even closer to him to whom he expound every parables to.You may call Jesus partial here. He often took them aside to resort privately

You raised a fair point Joagbaje, that Jesus was sometimes selective in the people He shared certain messages with. However, the main issue is that this selection wasn't based on money, although you allude to some of the selections being based on seed (as Mabell has already pointed out). Perhaps you could expand on this.

Joagbaje:
It beats my mind why those who don't know Gods word or know their left from their rights start scrutinising  what they don't understand.  Whoever pastor christ chose for conference IS NONE 'O YA OWN BIZNESS, Get saved!

Another fair point right there. If this was going to be your final conclusion, you could have saved all the hassle and just said it like that in the first place.

As someone said previously, how did the wake up call come at the age of 49!

God has empowered us with His spirit and given us His word for guidance. I don't understand why some people submit their decision making facility to another man.

Poster, you must have some views on this story since you put it on Nairaland. Let's hear your views as well.

fine.boy:
when do Nigerians learn to give good advise without insulting.

poster i know you are scaled, but don't mind them.

you have to ask your friends well if this trick still works in the Mexico border, and if it works for other recent people and definitely it will work for you. have faith and trust in God. don't believe in man.

i hardly give advise of treads likes this,. but i am sure you will make it. only if you arrange the necessary things.

1. check if you look alike with your friends. in teams of face, age and maturity. white people don't recognizes black persons talking from experience. i have seen many people using other people's pali safely.

2. also you must stamp the pali for border leaving from America before sending for Mexico to you.

3. and you must have better information about the usa where you claim to come from. ask people with experance what question this border people will asked. and also you must explain yourself what you come to do in Mexico.

that all. i wish you save journey

"Have faith and trust in God". Given that God is also in Nigeria, he should have faith and trust in God there as well. He can't have faith and trust in God while planning something illegal. It's like a robber praying before going out on an raid!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYZyl_rxI2Y

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsvbH9k1DLw

If I may ask, why is she addressed as a “Dame”? Is she a British subject or something? If I am not mistaken, that title Dame is the female equivalent of Sir for the British Knighthood, reserved only for British citizens/subjects.

Or is it part of the Nigerian obsession with big but meaningless titles.

Looks like a fake title to me.

However, the Sir/Dame title is not reserved for British citizens/subjects. Our own Sir Abubakar Tafawa Balewa was knighted by the Queen in 1960. Your idea is right though that wherever you see Dame/Sir, it is generally believe to be a British given honour. I suppose though that any other kingdom has the right to create a similar honour system.

makajibbz:
@poster,
Nigeria makes $173,428 billion per year not $45 million as you posted, which still makes it

Poster wrote $45 Billion

I don't think Nigeria makes $173,428 billion ($173 trillion) per year.

Anyone interested can explore further at http://data.worldbank.org/data-catalog

"Wrong! fifth to die

Bayero

Aguiyi

Murtala

Abacha

Yaradua"


"WHO IS BAYERO?"

[i][/i]I think he meant Balewa.

If elections were truly free and fair in Nigeria, no one would lose any sleep over the fact that Babangida wants to run. Everyone would see that his chances were slim, so no party would take the risk.

My people, when voting, look at the capabilities of those you are voting for and ignore tribal sentiments.

When capable leaders start dealing with Nigeria's problems and our country starts to flourish, tribal sentiments will slowly but surely drop down on the list of our priorities.

It would be a much more specific list and a better topic for discussion if you could list the best 10 cities.

I recognise that the way of certain churches stirs up a lot of arguments, so it obviously remains a topical issue. However, the Christ Embassy thing has been discussed to death. Perhaps it's time to move on.

Just to give some background, I used to be a member of CE for about 8 years, but now worship somewhere else.

ElRazur:
He is paid millions of bucks to train your soldiers because he is most likely a top marine, instructor or veteran of some kind?

If I have my choice, I will prefer our forces are trained by the following people - Mossad and Australian forces. Or the UK.

You must mean the Israeli Defence Force (IDF), Mossad is Israel's intelligence unit.