₦airaland Forum

damiso:
Totally totally agree with this. Describes my outlook to life and marriage in general.

I think placing the burden of your 'happiness' on another person's shoulders is such an enormous ask for anyone. To me sef that term 'I am happy' is so subjective.

I heard there is a institute that researches happiness in the UK Sebi there was even a research that said Nigerians are one of the 'happiest' people in the world.

Hahaha. There may be some truth to that.

How else would you describe the willingness to party and owambe and have fun in the face of collapsing infrastructure and low standard of living?

Idowuogbo:
Lmao! Infact na champagne to be precise.

tearoses:
Champagne

Champagne ehn?

That I can relate to. It's really champagne colored.

Noted.

I'll learn all the color variations on this thread. I can see that.

tchidi:
#bighug.

so I should eat the hug ehn?

Lol don't mind me. Thanks hun

Idowuogbo:
You are right! That's platinum not gold.

Platinum

Idowu don come again.

You know I'm a color illiterate.

edwife:
[img]http://esthertope.files./2014/02/ikes-family.jpg[/img]


https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/5f/30/6c/5f306cc64c3fefa67237339dabb796a1.jpg

I wouldn't call that first color gold. But what do I know, it could be a shade of gold.

The second one is very lovely though.

Couldn't make sense of the post.

I think it's relative.

Depends on you as a person, where you're coming from and what your expectations were. If you find your life after marriage to be better because of the kind of person you married and how well they fit your ideas of a good spouse. You will be happy with your marriage.

Maybe because I don't expect too much from people. Always have been like that since I was a kid, I find I'm very easy to please. So I cross from contentment to happiness relatively easy.

I think that's why they say happiness is a choice. As I don't expect too much from a partner just that he respects and is faithful to me, and of course be a responsible partner. I think I've made the decision to be happy without realizing it.

I don't think any other garnish would make it better than the basics being right.

People who end up disappointed after marriage are usually so because their expectations haven't been met and in some cases it's because they expect too much.

Like the marriage was supposed to solve all the problems in the other spheres of their life.

babygirlfl:
One thing I like about sagamite is that he says things as it is. I don't agree with everything he says but I found out that most things I don't agree with him probably has to do with him saying it a little bit too real without reservation. Like when he said about happily and contentedly married people, I always thought they were very happily married people that I knew but after his arguement, I actually started thinking if people were actually just contented. What do you think coco?

Sagamite:
Look at some of the black men Black America is giving society.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=naUvrPbRz2M

That map guy no get work.

Just funny.

Sagamite:
I already said that long ago.

https://www.nairaland.com/1579818/girls-night-out-discussions/30#37014651

That is why I know I am gold-dust!

I hear you

Sagamite:
Una dey see?

Women and twisting argument.

How did financial security and 100% that were separate conjoined for me all of a sudden?

Secondly, are we now going to waste some time arguing that most women do not marry up and aim for that? They are not looking for and aiming for a guy that is more affluent than them?

Thirdly, are we saying it is not the norm for men too be spend on women?

Fourthly, if a woman has money, knowledge, emotional security etc and thinks that is what I am going to be attracted to, then I am afraid she can shove it up her arsse because that is not what will make me marry her? That is like an illegal migrant crossing the Ocean to Europe saying he is coming with $50K so the Western countries should open their borders and celebrate he is entering their country. If he comes and says he is a potential Nobel prize winning scientist that can cure Alzeimer's, they might send a private jet though. One has something the want and need, the other has something of very little value to them.

The illegal immigrant is the one that wants to enter the country not the country inviting him, even though he might eventually be a valued member of the society. I am not the one looking to marry, even though it eventually be a good union. It is important the more relunctant party is enticed with what they would like.

As for her giving me the "privilege" of being the father of her kid, well I am sorry to say, I have seen many women giving some black men the "privilege" of being the father of their kids but the men showed them how "privileged" they felt by being humble enough to renounce the right to that "privilege" and then disappear so she can hold on to the "privilege".

Sorry, cococandy babes, black men like me are gold to the black community. It is the woman's privilege I am the father of the child.

Too many useless black men around.

@bold, yet it is the black men who won't let us hear for 'provision' they provide to their own kids and it is them who make more noise about what a lady has to offer or bring to the table.

Thank god say you know they are the even more prone to disappoint when it comes to being responsible. More prone to leaving strings of kids in their wake than others (maybe rivaled by Mexicans )

I wonder what all the noise is about.

What's on this list that the woman won't be bringing?

Her own money.
Her own knowledge.
Her own emotional security to the union and what have you.
Giving you the privilege of being the father of her kids.

What 100% financial security are you brining except you're dangote and not telling us.

I've noticed some men exaggerate their worth as if the women they will get married to are kitchen stools that don't contribute anything to the marriage.

Sagamite:
You mean apart from the privilege of making her dreams come through?

Lets park the fact that I am not the one that wants to get married, so I really don't have to bring something to the table to negotiate over something I am not keen on doing.

The whole nonsense perception the average woman thinks marriage is or should be is definitely not my perception, so I am very happy for them to find a man that shares their perception because I will DEFINITELY define mine.

Why?

I no be follow-follow persin o!

But that apart.

I am bringing financial, emotional and physical security.

I am bringing a guy that can and will 100% provide because this nigga aint the type of option available in the black community to leave his child.

I am bringing a guy that is everly and everlastingly interesting, funny and knowledgeable.

I am bringing a guy that is a problem solver and mentorship.

I am bringing a guy that can raise SUPER-kids.

I am also bringing to the table a few in a lifetime opportunity for them to have kids with Sagamu blood running in their veins.

What I am definitely not bringing is the patience for BS. I can marry today and divorce 6 days later if I need to. ABSOLUTELY ZERO PATIENCE! No woman should ever think because we are married now, she can now misbehave.

And also I aint bringing a guy that will give away 50% of his assets.

So, yes, I am the MVP. I am bringing to the table far more than I need to bring.

Now how many women bring anything to the table to be worth that?

tchidi:
Okro soup..

Has Ugba, dadawa, okporoko, dried fish and kpomo!! Enjoy.

Okro, ugba, kpomo

christinie:
Lol hope the hubby is the man of the house.

How's it your concern?

tobimillar:
The snake strangle that kind of big dog? D snake isn't that big either... look at the pix again

that size of snake can strangle a human to death too.

Poor bingo

Una surprise?
I'm not.

Good for him.

chinma414:
don't worry about me.I will be fine.all I need is your prayers.thanx.

Okay.
Best of luck

chinma414:
Dear mamas,I need serious prayers o.I am wallowing in depression. I have been trying to pretend I am fine but my problems keep growing. I have nobody to share my problems with.they all think my life is perfect because I don't complain to anybody.

Hey hunie.
What's up?
Send me an email.

You be really crazybone.

This unnecessary long post in response to a one liner that has nothing to do with feminism or what you're typing in any way?

May feminism not give some people belle for this forum. Smh

craziebone:
haha!!!!

Can you see how the world is? When feminism started and feminists said a woman doesn't have to be married, men felt insulted and rejected hence they would threaten those feminists with lonely old age. Now that men are begining to agree that truely you don't have to be married and are begining to be bold about their decisions, one would have thought feminists would cheer them up and say "finally, the change we called for, is here". But no! They are the ones now feeling insulted and unwanted and are begining to threaten men with lonely old age.

Anyway, i feel there is no reason for all these fight. The human being had got it right in the past. But because certain things went wrong at a point, there came intellectual gender activism, which created an artificial system that is just good and sound on paper and strong enough to bully and intimidate the other gender, but lacks practical application, therefore, making itself unfit to harmonize with the human being.

I hope you, @cococandy, can now understand and maybe feminism can drop its agenda to make it a default that women should old monopoly of reproduction. You can't use the fact that you are the one who carries the baby to shut the man out of reproductive decisions and tell him to his face he has no say in wether his child will be born or not. Just as you are feeling insulted and rejected after hearing Don Jazzy's bold statement, you would also feel short-changed, insulted and denied if the tables were turned around on reproductive rights.

I use to be on you people's side even more fanatical than FrancisTony. But the first time i heard from a feminist, a male for that matter, that men should not have a say in wether their child will be born or not, i was shocked to my bone marrow! When i raised the concern that how then are you not making him a victim of his own inability to carry a child, he said: we should consider it a deformity on our own part! I tried to see if other feminists held the same view and to my surprise, it was the same vile all through! That's when i started re-examining my almost automatic support for you guys.

But like i said, there is no reason for all these fight.

Sorry about your loss dear.

But they didn't have space. What could they have done? Treat her on the floor?
Blame the lack of facilities and not the hospital itself.

MarvellousGod:
You haven't tagged me yet .. what page is the recipe?

check your mentions.
It's not on this thread. But the healthy eating thread.

Yoruba film?
That's not reality.
It's people's imagination.

We are hearing more about such now because of more media coverage and because rapists are getting bolder since they don't fear the justice system and they know that in some cases, the victims will be blamed.


Hmm. Thanks.

Toks2008:
But the question still remains "why are we now seeing the trend"?

How come we don't hear about it before now.

Sis believe it or not,its a spiritual thing and i suggest you start watching more of Yoruba Nollywood movies and you will understand these things better.

Pretty face though but not cool with the nose piercing but if your guy loves it wats my own lol?

Make he dey there old Na. Wetin consign me

Toks2008:
You guys don't know anything

Its a new trend for ritual proceedings.

Can't you just imagine why we are having recurrent cases?

Please lets wise up,its a ritual thing.

Ritual what?

They are just perverts.

Mumu

That's how any girl that gets in trouble or gets missing is a wayward girl in you people's eyes.

Next thing you will say she's a runs girl.
Just like your fellow m0rons are quick to label people they don't know.

Xtupid people.

Blanc8:
It's Obvious something is wrong with your head that is shaped like a cashew nut...
Can't you address me without insulting, you better respect yourself...
#you wouldn't be warned again
must if you here are so quick to insulting peeps here..
not that you could say it to my face, even if I said the exact same words... just respect your self
you wouldn't say you were not told

thelish:
That thing smell na die ooo. It will sure chase ur neighbors out of their houses. make dem nor go call cops for u ooo. lol

This one doesn't smell.

We are breeding rapists.

Blanc8:
Ever heard a picture says a million words?

Or

The way you dress is how you are addressed.

What's wrong with her dress?
All I see her wearing is a pant/trouser and a top.
In all the pics.

Why do folks gotta be so irritatingly xtupid?
And over such a sensitive issue too.

You're xtupid. It's annoying. Honestly

I feel sorry for you OP.

ronald4lif:
MrBrownJ has been deliberating all day about what is right and what is not. I don't know what makes him or anyone think they have the mandate or audacity to dictate and tell what is right in another's person home. Indeed, we learn everyday and this has got to be one of my greatest albeit weird knowledge so far on this platform. Who would have thought another's privacy can be something anyone can intrude into and claim their are doing the right thing according to them.

Now that we have degenerated to the point of doing what is right and what is not without minding the consequences and aftermath of our actions, may I plead that we digress a little and see how lengthy you can go to substantiate your right claims, shall we?

[b]Let's assume we are buddies and I do smoke once in a while or a chain smoker but my wife doesn't know as I always ensure to clean my tracks away from her. Would you turn around to tell her in the name of doing what is "right"?

I have a child before I got married to madam but I never told her as I was afraid it could ruin my chances of getting her tied to me. You as my long time buddy is aware or might not be aware about it but I later told you. Would you in the spirit of rightness disclose this to her?

I and my wife have a mortgage home and she has been appealing to me to pay off the balance so it can be outrightly ours but I have been evasive and lying that I don't have the money even though I do. My reason being that, since she's European or we're resident in Europe where alimony settlements are strictly enforced any property bought here might turn out hers in the event of a divorce and for that reason I opted to purchase a property in Nigeria without her knowledge but you are aware. Would you open up to her and damn the consequences in this paradigm of rightness?[/b]

Your response to this posers would go a long way to clarify what you truly mean by doing the right thing and why you think it is your obligation to tell what is your "right" in others private affairs.

@bold yes.

Before nko? See all the evil things you're thinking in your head.

In fact even if I don't know her before I'll look for her contact and do amebo on you.

A friend in need

touchmeder:
I am back after my long hiatus. I hope you shared this recipe.

I did. Let me tag you.