₦airaland Forum

Indecent dressing is subject to interpretation.

Ask OP what she wore and she might tell you shorts and a tank top.
To some that's indecent while to someone like me Exceptr you're wearing a bikini top and bottom, I would consider you well dressed for staying at home.

bukatyne:
I went back to the OP due to side chick/main chick saga...

The side chick is a skunk!

How can see dress indecently in a house where her bf's husband and family is?

The fact that the friend had the guts to bring his side chick to the martial home of his buddy speaks volumes.

He knew his friend would approve of his lifestyles and I jump to assume that the husband is also a cheating scumbag too.

crackhaus:
She denied treating them bad and that covers everything, including the man's story as well as that of the children...right?

Well it seems she must be a very unlucky woman for both husband and children who have lived with her to have accusations against her, while you who knows nothing about her maintains her innocence.

no I mean it covers her own side of the storyas in you were picking it line by line and since she said she treated them well, that covers her denying them entrance into the house.

Stop being deliberately mischievous.
Haba Crackhaus.

crackhaus:
I was feeling overwhelmed because more than one person could deliberately be so blinded, and it's my duty to humanity to show you scoffers and Sadducees the light...

ok

delishpot:
Well, it is to many women. That you see no biggie in it doesnt mean its the norm. She is not her friend. You build some kind of trust and friendship or acceptance level before you do such without your host expressly giving the go ahead.
A guest should respect boundries. If the host says feel free o, take what ever o, dont wait for me. its a diff ball game,
I as an Africa man, will wait or go buy food if my host is sleeping late(Unless it guy without babe). Maybe my host will wake up and say why did you not go to the fridge and eat something nau? But if it is not stated as such, I will never open a host's fridge when he has a babe around Never.

yea. How to be a good guest is different from how to be a good host.

I'd probably do the same like you if I were a guest because I won't want to take my host for granted but wouldn't it be nicer if my host let me know from the beginning that it is ok to use the house?

[b]how to be a good hostess:

1) be prepared: always have extra fresh clean towels and clean sheets kept for emergency visitors. A few bathroom essentials like sanitary towels,shampoo and bubble bath/shower gel in small containers on the standby.

2) don't make your guests feel like intruders: you can do this by welcoming them in with a smile (a smile always works). Tell them right away to feel at home. Helps dispel any coldness from the beginning.

3) make your home visitor friendly: tell them to help themselves to the kitchen,fridge and pantry and ask if they need any help with anything.

4)be ready to sacrifice a little: say you have unexpected guests and you have only 4eggs left in the fridge, you can be gracious and let them have it if that's what they want for breakfast. It won't kill you. Just makes your home more appealing because you guests feel treasured.

5)be clear on house rules: if you have house rules like ; no smoking in the house or a shoes-off policy, make them aware of it in the most polite way possible.

6) finally when you have an ogbanje guest like the one that visited this OP, wear your patience armor and be prepared to dash off to your room to say a silent Hail Mary in order to calm down and avoid slapping her rude mouth thereby ruining your own day and that of your husband too.

[/b]

Source: a secret place of mine


In summary, Our owerri people say ' uyo wu uyo ma gi'

The house belongs to all of us.you're welcome

@ bold I don't agree. It is not that big a deal.

delishpot:
She did not invite her. She invited only the guy. The guy brought extra luggage.
Lets assume she yelled, my point is, the girl did wrong by entering another womans kitchen. I feel every woman has her meal plan and has what she is saving for later etc. A good guest will ask if she can use the kitchen not just jump into it. You sef, reason am nau? Lets say your dads pal brings his woman and first thing in the morning she jump enter kitchen? Ah ah, she is Nigerian na not oyinbo. Abeg lets face facts here and stop patronizing that babe jor.
The blame I will put on the wife is, you know you have guests why not wake up early to entertain them or tell them what they can have incase they wake up before you? That is where madam may have messed up. But the girls abd especially the boyfriends reaction was bad.
How hunger catch th reach sef? Worse cines to worse they can go buy some food outside if madam doesnt wake up early.
Unless this OP is not saying hiw angry she got?

Chillisauce:
Madam na Bush woman.
The husband had already told her about the guest, why would she now start dragging kitchen with the guest.

So the guest should wait for her to wake up by 8 o'clock before she eats something. On top Wetin na. Wey hunger dey catch her
As a guest I could have endured but not everyone can. What if the guest has ulcer and needed to make a quick fix for herself and wouldn't want to wake up madam

Lol@bold

The direct result of schooling women into thinking their lives revolve around the kitchen.
This OP didn't try sha, I expected her to be a lot more mature than the girl.


_{If you're a guest in my house, you're welcome to use the kitchen and pantry and help yourself to the freezer as you like.
Will even provide you bathroom essentials and house robe to keep warm and comfy}

Admittedly the girl was quite rude in her response in the kitchen and I support OP for not apologizing to her since she had already gone way out of line by that comment:

All of that fiasco could have been avoided by the OP in the first place by telling the girl she's free to use the house and make herself at home.
That's how good hostesses act.

crackhaus:
I never deviated, I only made a passing statement that you are trying to crawl out of the hole you dug for yourself while canvassing for support - you're the one who made a big deal out of it because you don't like reading the truth

Proving you wrong is not something I'm quite interested in.

I've stuck to my opinion from the beginning.
So what hole are you seeing?

Oh it was a passing statement that allowed you to totally ignore the point in the post you quoted. I expected you to refute it instead you went the silly way by complaining about who I quoted while conveniently ignoring the points you should have addressed. It wasn't a passing statement.

You were probably feeling overwhelmed because more than one person didn't see it your way.

Classic.

crackhaus:
All this you're typing is irrelevant in the bigger picture.

Did she deny stopping them from visiting? And what has being in their twenties got to do with being restricted from visiting?

When you're ready to let go of your unrealistic and biased linear thinking, let me know.

their being in their twenties and more than one in number is proof enough that she can't stop them even if she dislikes when they come visiting. She can only dislike it but can't stop them.

Maybe if she could stop them she would stop them seeing as they only come to her house to expect gourmet service and dash her slaps at will

How easy will it be for only her to restrain grown up adults in their twenties by herself and walk them out of the house?


Mr lateral thinker. Is that rocket science?
Trust you to follow the path makes least sense.

She denied treating them bad and that covers everything.
Or maybe if you want the full details of their divorce you can go request a copy of their divorce file.

He said: “They come to my house at about 11p.m. There was a day I had to interrogate a man that she brought home. She introduced her to me as her pastor.”

The man is a pastor yet wifey has her own pastor from another place? That means she doesn't even support her husband's ministry.

Na wa she really hates the man o.

This wife is gangster mehn.

Well good for him that he's dissolving the marriage officially because the woman Don dissolve the thing by herself before he even went to court..


This igando court sef. So popular in divorce cases.
Is it just me or did anyone else notice the trend of divorces in that same court in the news?

bebe2:
I think he is also a proud person.

But how about his family? If my husband is dying and doesn't want to seek help would I just sit and watch him?

Well, maybe am not an obedient wife, God knows I will be everywhere and any anywhere calling for favour and goodwill.

How about his sisters?
Weird family I must say.

if I'm his wife I certainly won't listen to his 'don't ask for help' instructions. When he gets better,he will thank me. Ha. I'm annoyed at all of them

crackhaus:
- Childish? - I don't mind.

- Can't father another man's kids? - your opinion, I can't be bothered convincing you of anything personal to me.

- Headache because of you? - only in your wet dreams.

Did I leave anything out? Cos it's about time we get back on topic fruit-cake

If you really like to stay on topic, you wouldn't love so much to deviate from the issues and complain about who's quoting who.

Well you obviously have a headache with who's opinion I like especially if it is against yours. You can prove me wrong by remaining on track next time instead complaining about it.

crackhaus:
How do you know the slap didn't occur before they got their own apartment, and does this change the fact that the woman stopped them from visiting?

mmm. Nothing is impossible anyway. But I'm wondering how she stopped them from visiting.
They are more than one and probably in their twenties.
One can believe they don't get along when they visit but to say she stopped them from visiting as if they are infants that can be told what to do makes me have further reasons to doubt this man's bogus tales

crackhaus:
How did you know they managed to visit, and why are you almost certain that's when the slap occurred?

where did they slap her before? In their own rented apartment?
They came to their father and his wife's house and slapped her.

Brb.

Of course it is childish you have problems With who I'm quoting.
Thank God you noted their points of view supported my line of thought. So tell me again how I'm canvassing for support.
One would have thought I was trying to convince them to change their posts to type what supports mine.
Since it already did, how did that make sense for you to say I'm canvassing for support?
Oh your problem is that I quoted them
Nothing I won't hear from you.

Ok I won't quote them again.
In fact I won't like any posts that doesn't agree with your opinion anymore since all those things give you headache.

Of course I maintain you can't father another man's kids. All you have to do is say you can and I will stand corrected. Who are you kidding?


Let me go and pray. I will be back.
Na you dey keep vigil.

crackhaus:
It's childish stating (which is evident for all to see) that you are quoting left, right, and centre the ladies that support your line of thought - but it is not childish when you tell me to my face that I can't father another woman's children?

So apart from the excuse of her maltreating the children or not washing clothes, the other complains are pathetic?

Me I like being childish o, that line always bounces off me like ball on rock...

Na you go taya...

crackhaus:
That she also stopped the children from visiting their father's home and that she talks to her in-laws rudely, are also pathetic excuses? (remember, she didn't deny these)

Oya na, CONTUNU!

yet they managed to visit?

They probably visited and fought her because she didn't make fried rice and chicken to serve them on her knees . I'm almost certain that's when the slap happened.

And
Yes she denied being rude to her in-laws.

crackhaus:
Standing by the opinion that kids need father figures in their lives, and thus single motherhood is not something to be glorified - is this what you call dissing?

I can do this real long, just keep trying to crawl out of the hole you dug for yourself at the beginning of this thread while canvassing for support left, right, and centre.

Lmao. I don't need support to air my opinions. I didn't email anyone what to type here. You obviously can't stand different opinions. Now cococandy is the one canvassing their support.


Can we manage not to get childish today? At least for once.
I was almost happy it wouldn't veer that angle.

So much for hoping.

My opinion at the beginning remains the same.
Dude has a pathetic excuse. So I ain't trying to dig out of anything.

Add washing of clothes to the pathetic excuses and you will know it is a classic case of a bored man seeking new adventure.

soulglo:
That using this particular excuse tells me he is full of shit. He could have said she's difficult to live with. She's violent. She's financially irresponsible. She's an unrepentant adulterer. I would buy any of those but not this one. Keep in mind that I personally think that NIgerians make the worst and most dangerous step parents I have seen. So I am not saying that she's an angel. I'm just saying that if he actually came to the court and those were his specific reasons for ending this marriage then he is full of poop.

Believe the one you like

She said the children were too rude and
troublesome and that one of them slapped her
when she cautioned her.
“My husband’s daughter slapped me when I
corrected her, she and her siblings always fight
me,” she said.
Jumoke said it was her husband that asked her
to stop washing his clothes.
She claimed that she used to cook for her
husband and stepchildren and that she always
respected her husband and his parents.

crackhaus:
- she always handled them in a rough and cruel
way. “My wife always maltreats my children, she
hates them to the extent that she only cooks for
her children and refuses to give her stepchildren
food.

- “Due to frequent fighting and rivalry with them, I rented another apartment for my children but she still refused them to visit me.”

- she does not respect me and she talks to my parents rudely.

crackhaus:
Girl, whatever you wanno think is your BIZNIZ...

Just know that you can NEVER be sure of anything about me that I didn't tell you, except you just enjoy wallowing in delusions...

convenient. I will catch you soon dissing single mothers

You're right. I have this friend who's father remarried somewhat recently because their Mother died long ago.
I used to swallow her stories about how bad the new wife was until I went to visit them and spent 2week with them and up until today, the lady is my pal and cool friend.

I've even helped her to see that the lady is just human and not a bad person who's there to wipe away their mother's memory. Kids without moms tend to have mommy issues and the new wife can't ever please them. Even if she scolds as she would scold her own kids, it is assumed she's doing it because they aren't her kids.

walking around egg shells.

In most women's case, it is all work and no gratitude.the one's she didn't do right will be magnified while the good she did since will be conveniently forgotten.

The people in this story have conflicting reports so I chose the path that makes more sense:

alutacontinua:
Truth is this kind of relationships can be dicey.
Some step-children can NEVER be content!
Some step-mothers can be wicked!
The story above is just two sides of a story, unfortunately, the 3rd side(which is the truth) is not something we have access to. If viewed from various angles, the story truly does not add up.

My mum might cook for my 10-year old cousin staying with her and assume I'll find my way out. I wouldn't crucify her for that, my dad wouldn't too. If it were to be the other way round, I being the 10-year old and my cousin being me, they'll say she's maltreating. It's SOMETIMES the paranoia associated with complicated relationships.

crackhaus:
https://www.reactiongifs.com/r/bstngp.gif

you can't wiggle out of this one.

Can you or can't you?

*Her cooking in your kitchen is not really a big deal but that's for a person like me. I understand people are different so I think she should have been courteous enough to find out if it was ok by you.

*But when you saw her cooking, you should have just ignored her.

*Her response to you when you confronted her was totally out of line. So ungracious and nasty she is.
*I'm glad you didn't apologize to her.
Since you and your hubby and his friend are in harmony, there's nothing to worry about.

crackhaus:
Lmao...how is this helping them, yet this is the second epistle you're typing here...
And you even managed to tell us how you're sure crackhaus can't father another man's son... Lol...

If I tell you that you carry baggage around NL now, you will say I'm lying and turn it around on me.

Oya na, CONTUNU!

I'm sure you can't father another man's son.
I would bet top dollar on that.
Abi you want to tell a bold faced lie now that you won't mind marrying a woman who has kids for another man?

What has it got to do with baggage? Did I ever discuss that with you on any other thread before?

I wonder why this is not easy to understand.
also considering that what a parent would normally do or say to her child, if done by another woman may be considered mistreatment.
So easy to buy into the evil step mother stereotype. While the lady could have been doing her best in the way she knew how,

soulglo:
This is possible but what good parent would stay married to someone who truly starved his children. He married her in 1996 when she was just 19. Being a 19 year old step mother is a tough job. Especially when the kids are old enough to understand that this woman is taking the place of their mom. It was his responsibility to make sure that the young woman he married and his young defenseless children had a healthy relationship. I'm not really sure why a man with children would think that marrying a 19 year old is a good idea. She's barely an adult herself. A 19 year old in 1996 is very different from a 19 year old in 1945. He was obviously not thinking about his children when he made his choice. It is crazy that after spending her best years raising the kids that now he finds fault in what she spent all those years doing. If you are a father then think about coming home from work and seeing that your children have not been fed all day. Would it be something you would ignore for 18 years? Most men will say no. I would believe any other excuse but not this one. They are not getting along. He wants a divorce. He should just say that and not use this excuse. It's lame.

You that is thinking in a multi-lateral way you don't think there's something wrong with kids who raise their hands to slap their father's wife?

Next thing you will say she deserved it.

And he's just noticing after 18yrs that she maltreated his kids?
Bollocks.
If that is even true,it shows the kind of father he is. Not attentive.

Of course the kids aren't hers doesn't mean she should mistreat them neither does it mean her efforts should be taken for granted. Easy for you to say when I'm sure you Crackhaus can't even father another man's son.
Mtchew. Easy for you to expect what you can't do from others. Anyway that's by the way.

Everything that happened in this home is the man's fault.
If he married her and she was mean to his kids, the first 2yrs is enough for him to find out that she wasn't treating his kids right and he would have done something about it then.
it is his responsibility to make sure the kids respect her . They obviously don't.

The fact that she doesn't wash his clothes and cook for his grown up children and that's a divorce-worthy offense in his eyes defines her relationship in the marriage.
Glorified house girl.
That's why the man's child will have the guts to slap her.

She's better off without him.

Now that's my opinion and it doesn't have to bother you. They are already In court anyway, so how is this helping them?


.

crackhaus:
Cococandy, sometimes you shouldn't type certain things when you obviously don't realize how it sounds.
@bold text - she raised kids that weren't hers sounds to me like you mean she did them a favour...I mean don't you see that's exactly the same thinking that must have got her in this mess?

Okay the kids are over 18yrs old now, so what?
The husband says she fights/quarrels with them a lot, and did she confirm this? YES!

Did you stop for a second to think that maybe she has indeed been maltreating/starving them since they were kids, and now they come off age they finally have the guts to be rebellious and stand up to her?

Will kids that received all the love and motherly affection from a woman they know isn't their biological mother suddenly start disagreeing and fighting her at every opportunity?

Free yourself from linear thinking!

soulglo:
She's 37 and they have been married for 18 years. The kids are all now adults and it is not he wants to divorce her for starving them?

yea. If true means he married her when she was 19 and she spent her youth raising kids that weren't hers, now that they are grown they remember they've been starving for the 18yrs.

Tales by moonlight.

bebe2:
jesus,

how distasteful.

what kind of pple does this guy have around him??

why is a pic of his corpse circulating social media?

acting and real life i really different o,

how can kidney problems kill muna in nigeria?

he cudnt fly himself out or solicit for funds from the public?

a part of me is still angry wit him.

so so sad

i totally agree. Does his corpse need to be posted online before ppl will believe? At least the funeral should be enough to calm any doubts. Na wa


I'm angry with him too. He didn't want to be a charity case like ojb jezreel but ojb is alive today and now he's not.
Really really sad.

Babymama1:
He is quite handsome ,yes
And the most fun
He says we should wait that very soon someone will carry wine for him

Hmm.

Tell him what I tell manny and 735i

Time dey go o.

Babymama1:
Hear this part
The one that gave him a car to use figured out after a few weeks that the boy was just playing around and one day she came and collected the car

good for her.

at least she recovered something back.

This your bro is a fine boy am I right?
Ladies and fine guys.

He better be careful o.

manny4life:
Haha... She will be part of the Ndi Nne group abi?

that's old school. She will be part of the royal ladies of the day. That's new school