He didn't die on that cross in the first place

This might sound funny but maybe we should include the importance of checking that your hotel bed doesn't have bedbugs? I kid you not, I travelled to east Africa in late 2019 and picked up the nasty creatures from one of the hotels we stayed in, and all the hotels we booked were pretty decent.

I haven't been able to shake these things off since, wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy

RisenPhoenix1:


I'm glad to see that some women still accept that the traditional system is the best...especially on NL.

I was influenced by my grandmothers. Both my grandfathers were polygamists. I saw how much my grandmothers idolised them even after their deaths. They had none of the romantic worries that plague modern man.

By the way, I sense that your 'almost' is just an attempt to hold on tenaciously to past beliefs.

No it has nothing to do with past beliefs. I wouldn't share my husband because I love him a lot and I perform my wifely duties wholeheartedly. If I lack somewhere I would rather like him to let me know and I will do my best to improve in that area, same as I let him know when Im not satisfied or unhappy and I give him an opportunity to correct it or improve. I love having sex with him still after all these years and he never has to beg for it, and I know attraction and romance fizzles out after sometime between a couple, we just both need to work together to always re-candle our love and romance. No need to bring outsiders.

Most importantly, my peace of mind is right up there at the top of my priority list. I wouldn't have peace of mind in a polygamous marriage, I would be lying to myself and the man.

RisenPhoenix1:


A marriage is a contract. Anyone is free to walk out at anytime for any reason. If she does, she'll probably find someone else to marry her.
But she won't. She says she's totally cool with it. I'm going with that.

I'm kind of not surprised that your wife agreed to this polygamy, you seem be the kind of man similar to the men I was raised by and grew up around. Very manly, not like these squirrels running around calling themselves "alpha males" here on this forum. Refreshing to have engaged someone like you on this topic.

I too would have almost agreed if I had a husband your type, but almost.

RisenPhoenix1:


Very wrong. Just don't marry a feminist. My present wife is educated and a professional, and she's absolutely ok with my marrying a second. They are even friends. Don't believe that NL women are the standard for how women think. Most of the ones on NL are over exposed to Western thought, and even so, I think if the time comes, quite a number of them will accept polygamy for their husbands; despite their arguments here.

Besides, a woman is only what her husband trains her to be.

Ok oo! Im all glad to hear that your wife is an educated, working professional. I'll assume she's smart too and therefore isn't being manipulated into polygamy, so she'll walk out if she chooses to if this doesn't work out for her.

I don't subscribe to feminism either, i think its trash.

RisenPhoenix1:


With polygamy, there would be rivalry. Each woman would double up on her efforts to keep more of their mutual husband's attention. There will also always be a nagging feeling that another wife is getting more sex than her, and this will trigger the wife to try to get even more from the husband (keeping a greater share of the market so to speak). Finally, a woman always finds a man infinitely more attractive when he is not readily available to her beck and call; and it also triggers their possessiveness when other available females find him attractive. All these complexities will work in his favour.

A woman in a female herd does not think the same way as a woman with exclusive attention to a man. Polygamy is a woman leveller and destroys all their transactional techniques; that is why women hate it. It is like the difference between a customer's options in a monopoly and in a free market; the man being the customer in this case.

Lol gosh you are so dreamy... you really live in fantasy land....or it is that the women in your village can be manipulated in this way? Set them up in polygamous mess and watch them fight over u? Even women in the most backward of villages value themselves these days and wouldn't allow such. Wake up! This is the 21st century!

JohnDazzy:


He will never come across your comment

Lol don't be a party pooper a girl is allowed to dream, besides, you'll never know

LimeLyte:
Leave the amoeba make she dey talk. When fresh,soft ladies full Yankee die with no baggage self

Why are you guys so pained? what is wrong with a lady shooting her shot? To the extent of calling u her an amoeba

33bandit:
I thought this thread would be interesting ..but nah people are talking about grace and all that crap without bring in the neurological aspect as to why things happen the way they did ..

Please will you tell me more about this "neurological aspect"? I always seem to hit a snag in one particular area of my life and I've always thought there has to be something causing it along these lines. We can take the conversation offline if you don't mind? Can I send u a PM?

chetmann:
That you topped others never meant you were smarter. When I was in school I hated academic protocols and curriculum. I never topped a class apart from my primary 5, I read outside the scheme topics that i find absorbing but it put me behind in position. In the end it paid off, i did better externally,I got admitted before the toppers,became an engineer,and got employed. In life generally our emotional intelligence ,persistence and grace leads the way to success than IQ and skill. Cheers.

You seem to be very self absorbed. He clearly stated that he is asking about how class toppers are now fairing in life and you have also in your statement said you were not a class topper, yet you have made this completely about yourself. We need to learn to read and comprehend and answer what is asked.

damesilver:
It's been more than 4 years now we have been battling with bedbug infestation at home. Even at school or other places a member of the family moves to they follow.

Several methods have been employed yet they do not go. Whoever has experienced bedbugs would know that these little creature are as deadly as Boko Haram.

They aim for your blood, hide in dark places and crevices. They disrupt your sleep, your life and you begin to live in perpetual fear. This is serious.

I've tried the traditional science of taking some live bugs to the market, yet doesn't work. A lot of money has been spent on Sniper, DD force, etc, despite that they come with their attendant health consequences due to exposure.

Please help oh..

Hi damesilver, have you finally found a solution to this issue please? my battle has been people telling me to pour this and that on affected areas and I've searched and searched but I cant find where their harborage is. I wash and dry my linen weekly, vacuum and steam my floors and curtains weekly, I use pesticides but the problem still persists. If you do/have found a solution please share it with me

jacoik:
the problem is that, one can never know where it hides and that's fact. The first time I saw it was last month after putting on mosquito net for kids and after about 20mts I saw it on the net, the second is I saw it on the floor of the kitchen and last is on my sitting room. How do I go about it even if I have to fumigate the �, do I need to bring the whole properties out?

That's been my battle, people telling me to pour this and that on affected areas and I've searched and searched but I cant find where their harborage is. I wash and dry my linen weekly, vacuum and steam my floors and curtains weekly also but the problem still persists. If you do/have found a solution please share it with me

RisenPhoenix1:
What is disturbing you now? His extra marital affairs or his alleged cheating? Because when it comes to married men, the two events are not the same. A man can only cheat his wife when he does not fulfill his financial responsibilities towards her, but gives money to other women instead. But a married man sleeping with other women is not cheating, because in a marriage, there is no implied exclusivity from the man. He doesn't carry a pregnancy, there is no possibility of fraud if he has extra marital affairs, and the bloodline is not affected. It is only reprehensible because of the possibility of STDs, and because the man tends to be fearful of his wife and keep it secret, causing her to be mistrustful of him later on. That is why I advocate for officially sanctioned polygyny instead, when a man wants to sleep with more than one woman; and he is capable of fulfilling his financial responsibility to both (or more).

So if he is still fulfilling his financial responsibility towards you and the children, he's not cheating you. Just tell him to marry other women of he feels the need, or to at least inform you so you can liaise with her and all parties can take proper precautions (like regular checkups) to prevent STDs.

Good luck.

Can i just ask u RisenPhoenix1, is it then ok for the wife who contributes 50% financially towards the home and is on contraceptive to also cheat in the marriage? Going by your points above. She is fulfilling her financial responsibility by her 50% contribution and there is no possibility of pregnancy since she will be using protection and is on a contraceptive.

Please I would really like a genuine answer from you, no getting upset or fighting.

BrilliantGigolo:



Simp!
Just a letter of employment?? You never see salary and you don propose.

Your mama carry you for 9 months still come feed you. Your papa hustle , suffer so that you go fit see University.

Your Local Government Chairman work Npower Slot give you make hunger no kill you that time.

Baba God come pick your call and the only thing you remember is to propose and invite a liability into your life?

Not even a year of savings and planning?

May God not give us Kids like Op who will disgrace us over the internet.

Tueh

You are both bitter and sour. Who told you she's a liability? And who told you that he won't be looking after his mom and dad? And who told you that he has no savings plan? Very bitter and sour

ElasticStone:
Recently, I got a job with an oil company....of which my girlfriend of 7 months does not know of, even though I will start documentation next month. In her mind, she still thinks I work with Npower.

The thing is, I asked her if she will marry me and she said YESSS. This girl is fvcken pretty. I mean very pretty and she sings. She is currently in her penultimate year and I think am convinced she likes me for real. Isn't God wonderful?

A big congratulations to you! Keep up that gratitude and expectant attitude and surely more goodness will come your way. I love good news and I love people who share good news, it gives us hope and reminds us that grace abounds... inspite of challenges.

SweetDipBenny:
I dont tink people know how much strength it takes to pull ur own slf out of a dark place mentally. So if you've done dat today or any day, I'm proud of u...

I wish i could give you a thousand likes for what u just said, people really don't dont realize. It takes grace and tremendous mental strength to pull yourself out

That we need to be humble - we walk around and act as if we have it all figured out, yet we ain't know shìt. Our world changed at a blink of an eye, life is showing us whose boss.

Righteousness89:
Let's see how it goes...

It's From the SA guys we will know if Covid- 19 really affects Black race..

The SA guys will be more open to the public..

The affected is a White South African (responding to your black race comment)

You just enjoy being a side bìtch for now - nothing wrong with that - just enjoy yourself. Time will come when you feel like committing/settling down - you will also act accordingly when that time comes. I see no issue here

Most people will settle for with the character they like, but will still go out, search and fùck they body they long for

Me im just looking at that round asś in those fishnet stockings on the boy's screen

You belong in a trashcan, she needs to dump you very quickly. Getting your dìck up planning abuse in advance, what fùckin nonsense?

Don't go back!
He has physically and emotionally abused you, put u at risk for STD's and humiliated you. Move on, or he'll do you worse and worse, mark my words.

What u feel is normal, most of us have been there. You love her and have been together for a long time, completely normal that you would feel this way. There is NO force holding you back, just the fear of starting over and the feelings you still have for this woman.

Just be strong and move on, the pain will get better soon, give yourself time and allow yourself to 'mourn' the relationship. You don't deserve such treatment and there's certainly a lot of good people out there. You deserve good things, just tell yourself that. You also need to know that human beings are very fickle and that good deeds are not always returned in kind. Carry your cross and move on.

QUESTION TO ALL STONERS! DOES WEED AFFECT YOUR LIBIDO IN ANY WAY?

The girl is wisely keeping her options open whilst you are desperately trying to hang on to her. She is way ahead of you in playing this game - she is not one bit confused between the two of you and clearly the overseas guy has one up on you.

Guy, just fucck the bìtch and enjoy it whilst it lasts and work on easing up your emotional attachment to her. A woman should never make u compare yourself with other men, did she tell u the name of this guy and u looked up his possessions or did she tell u herself of his accomplishments? This girl is cleverly keeping u on your toes.

Ease up on this relationship, focus on making your money. This girl ain't for u.

Their love for each other saved them. Ease-up on that egotistical self-praise sister please.

luminouz:


I see Nlanders comments and shake my head. Are these guys not seeing what I'm seeing?


Red fuqin flags everywhere.

1. Proud, provoking stance
2. Initiates sex first stance

Verdict:

She loves conflict, she thrives on it...it stimulates her and when it gets to a crescendo, she must have sex to have a mind blowing release. Women like that have deep psyche issues. They desire being rough handled, roughhoused, even beaten so as to have some measure of self-worth and to respect you as a man. She likely grew up in a home where her dad beat her mum or was broken in by a violent, slugfest loving guy who dominated her for years. This led to a Stockholm syndrome type of disorder that made her love those who torment her and derive sexual pleasure from such violent acts.

Solution:
1. Divorce her....you will need to be violent at intervals to win her respect and even her love. She is wired that way. No amount of useless counselling or prayers will change shiit. If you deny her sex for awhile and she meets a violent mudafvcker outside, the marriage is as good as over.

2. Be Violent: You are likely a nice guy for you to come online to seek opinions but if you want to have her respect. Be rough with her....when she ails you, beat her or dominate her roughly. That's how she respects you. It is wrong for me but it is what it is. Nothing else would work. Once you discipline her roughly, have sex with her and be rough at it. Then watch her do your biddings with a silly smile on her face. When next she fuqs up, repeat the dosage. That's her cure.

N.B: Your kids are all boys and trust me mudafvcker, they are watching. If you choose option 2, their future wives are in trouble because they will think all women love being beaten. And the Violent Circle Continues....

#Luminouznuggets#

I really like this write up of yours - I totally get it.
Please read my two posts advising the OP and tell me if you agree. My advise if a polite version of your option B

englishmart:
Wizkid na car washman where Akon dey Sha for music.
No matter what, no African Musician has the international recognition Akon has. Akon the legend. Ft MJ, got ft by MJ and lots of A-list American musicians.

And why the unnecessary comparison? :

concept65:


OP i don't have time now to read through the replies - not sure if someone has already given you this advice. Your seem to be very emotionally intelligent which your wife totally lacks. She is also very prideful of which you have demonstrated some humility in this post.

Your wife needs you to "man up" and Im not being insultive here, I am talking from her standpoint. Her perception of you is that you are a "softie" and her type needs very "firm" hand. I am talking from experience, you need to change a little bit from the way you usually do things around the house, even if its outside your comfort zone. You need to bark orders once in a while and not ask politely, rough her up a little bit during sex, alternate and have gentle sex sometimes, find ways to keep your wife on her toes most of the time without being abusive. This is what she needs. I grew up around "alpha males" and my ex was an alpha male too. My husband is the sweetest and most humble, gentle man ever, but I am emotionally intelligent enough and mature enough to appreciate that that is how he is, I don't see it as a weakness but I do wish he had some "alphaness in him" though I dare not show him. Be more domineering, you seem intelligent, Im sure you'll find balance.

I also totally disagree with folks who keep saying how lucky you are that your wife still wants to have sex with you even after disagreements. She is not doing you any favors, it is your conjugal right. It is also your right to be listened to and heard when you have any concerns to express in your marriage, she is failing to emotionally take care of you. Once you master showing her who's boss around the house as per my humble advice above - she will soften up and you will find ways to make her listen to you and you will find ways to talk and listen to each other and iron out any arising issues maturely as any married couple should.

byna:


I have beat her once and she enjoyed it. Infact she wanted it. She once told me she wants me acting fierce, it turns her on not being too gentle. But me as a gentle man, d thing tire me o

OP i don't have time now to read through the replies - not sure if someone has already given you this advice. Your seem to be very emotionally intelligent which your wife totally lacks. She is also very prideful of which you have demonstrated some humility in this post.

Your wife needs you to "man up" and Im not being insultive here, I am talking from her standpoint. Her perception of you is that you are a "softie" and her type needs very "firm" hand. I am talking from experience, you need to change a little bit from the way you usually do things around the house, even if its outside your comfort zone. You need to bark orders once in a while and not ask politely, rough her up a little bit during sex, alternate and have gentle sex sometimes, find ways to keep your wife on her toes most of the time without being abusive. This is what she needs. I grew up around "alpha males" and my ex was an alpha male too. My husband is the sweetest and most humble, gentle man ever, but I am emotionally intelligent enough and mature enough to appreciate that that is how he is, I don't see it as a weakness but I do wish he had some "alphaness in him" though I dare not show him. Be more domineering, you seem intelligent, Im sure you'll find balance.

oglalasioux:
You've got nothing to fear. This is evidence that you have a good receptive brain. There's absolutely nothing wrong here. Just pay attention to the dreams. Your brain will surely catch up with something useful.

Our existence is still radiating through the universe, even after death, just like TV broadcast (the first TV broadcast is still moving through the universe in this manner). Someone with a good brain can pick these up hence your dreams. This is how prophets and seers see things.

Don't let this bother you.

Another sensible post - thanks so much. Im so sick and tired of all these witches and wizards busy prophesying doom upon the OPs life. Chef2000 please come read above post