₦airaland Forum

payless: Have you ever been to U.S or Canada?

swamp of piss - i can never stay in those places.

davidylan: Nigerians just suffering in foreign countries. Dem go come pose here like say...

The UK is quite expensive to be honest, the bills people are quoting here appear to me to be from another planet. It costs about $19 every 3 months for water, $90/month for gas in the bitterest of winters (my house is 2 floors, a basement, 3 bedrooms and 2 baths) and as low as $20 in the summer when i dont use it that much.
Cable - $100, phone and internet - $66.

Do the folks in the UK live on a gold planet? 800 pounds on heat

cable is around £90 per month(sky full option + ESPN)
land phone/broadband internet(around £40/month)
electricity/gas(£400-£500 quarterly)
landphone(£100-£120 line rental quarterly)

then there's rent, council tax, road tax, mobile phones, TV license, car insurance and various miscellaneous added to all that. mind you, what you are paying in 3 bedroom house in america monthly is what majority pay for a one bed apartment in the capital. it's crazy but i love it.

2legit2qwt: Truth be told, Britain sucks and i can never imagine why people live there or how they survive One way traffic everywhere, parallel parking sh1t, narrow azz roads, and the crazy taxes

i know it sucks but i wouldn't trade it for any other place apart from nigeria.
the fact that a lot of people are clueless about the way things work in britain makes it super attractive!

MacLovington: .
He could have topped it up with a biochemical engineering degree at UCL or a related course at Imperial. Even one of those Petroleum MScs at Aberdeen would have been a good move before rushing back home.

thank God for people like him. without him some of us wouldn't be successful.

payless: I don't know and I don't intend to know. I have asked him to come to the U.S to do his Master but he said no. His whole family back there in London. He came from a very well to do background and the dad died in 2009. I know he does have some cash to burn and a very good house to stay. I know he is just cherry-picking jobs.

he should become a landlord and veer into business.......

payless: Do people still graduate with passes? You cannot graduate with passes in U.S. On a scale of 4.0 GPA, it is 2.0-2.5 the lowest in most schools. I never asked him about his GPA but he is a brilliant guy. I know he turned down few jobs because "they were not good enough" as he said. The guy said he wouldn't accept a job less than 8 million per year.

with the course he read, he could have stayed and he would have made that within few years. now that he's back in naija, what has he achieved in 3 yrs? how can a chemical engineer leave a promising career path to face unemployment in nigeria. i see two things here - it's either he graduated with a rubbish grade or he has a criminal record in the UK that prevented him from getting good jobs.

Katsumoto: Damn, you always tell it like it is.

that's the only explanation......

payless: I have a cousin who studied Chemical Engineering at Swansea Univerisity, Wales. He is a British Citizen, but he is now in Lagos for the past three years and still unable to secure a job so far. I asked him why he didn't look for job in UK before coming to Nigeria to do NYSC, and he said U.K is a fu.cke.d up country. He said Nigeria is a lot better than U.K if you have a good job.

chemical engineer from swansea?
your cousin graduated with a pass then - otherwise he shouldn't be in naija. if nigeria is good, why has it taken him in 3 years to secure a job?

bebe2: its april again and local authorities in uk are busy looking for money.
how many bills can one recieve in a day.
i think the easter holiday delayed the postman, water rate, business rate, council tax, speeding ticket( self inflicted, hubby beat red light) shey na only dis house dey dis country?

this is hilarious!

Seun: @Coogat: Really? Did you not watch the awesome wildfire battle in the second to last episode of season 2?

i saw it but it's nothing compared to season 1
just finished watching the first episode of season 3 and it looks promising -

fücking hell - those dragons are humongous now.....

Seun: season 2 was meh precisely because you read the books after season 1. Season 2 was fantastic for me. The ending was spectacular. But then I couldn't wait and had to read the entire series, so I guess Season 3 may be "meh" for me. Though people who have read the books seem to really enjoy watching the reactions of non book readers. You'll enjoy season 3 a lot if you watch it with people who have no clue.

greyfog is right!
season 2 was a complete fuckery.......after taking us for a good treat in season 1, season 2 really didn't hit the dizzying heights of season 1. i will watch the episode 1 of season 3 tonight and see if they have got their groove back.

the current season of spartacus lives up to expectation - GOT should step up!

1025 was conceived via anäl sex
there's no way anyone can be this much of an asshöle! i am sure it's clattenburg and howard webb that eliminated them from the group stage in europe this season. a side that cannot beat ordinary southampton shouldn't even be mentioned in the assembly of elite teams.

StarBoard: As usual this childish goon will never argue without branding insults.

you are a serial wankër!
i am sure you had örgasms when chelsea won just to reinforce your stüpid beliefs that the team is not good enough! sometimes your stüpidity baffles me!

So Cech is now the only player available in Chelsea? What about your beloved Juan Mata?Isn't he supposed to be the best attacking midfielder in England according to you.And your man-lover Torres too.

what has this gotta do with the argument? are you this spastic that you cannot put your eyes on the ball?

And I'm sure a thing called hindsight doesn't exist in your limited vocabulary. Van Persie didn't even manage to hit target while Cech saved a goal-bound header from Hernandez to preserve Chelsea's lead.
You still have concrete in the left side of your skull.Rabid numbskull.

you are a tool - van persie was a substitute!
so if a striker didn't hit target in the last 30 mins means he wouldn't have hit the target in 90 mins? sometimes i think your thalamus and your cerebellum have swapped places. cech preserved chelsea's lead now makes him world class? the same cech that sits 22 points below de gea?

lucabraski: I went to visit my senior sister in lagos last week. While there, she and her husband got into a fight. It wasn't d usual exchange of words alone, but he was physically assaulting her.

My sister is six months pregnant for him. I tried to stop him from punching her over and over again, but rather than stop, he slapped me and pushed me so hard that I was injured slightly.

I am not my sister who coudlnt fight back, so I retaliated by giving him 2hot slaps. My sister saw what was happening between her husband and me, and joined in. Together, we showed him that we are from Edo state.

Let me point out that he was fond of beating her to the extent that she had previously lost 2 pregnancies.

Now, her inlaws have said I have done the forbiding, and are insisting I come to apologize for my actions by bringing some items.

I have no regret for what I did and do not intend to go anywhere.

NL, was I really wrong? Bearing in mind that my BIL is very much older than me.

i need ishilove, jennykadry, chaircover, ileobatojo to vet this story first before i comment.....

Ishilove: I realised the story was bogus immediately he started dropping names. It seems half the stories in this section are the figments of idle minds.

If he wants to write stories, let him go to the literature section.

literature section is boring.....

ileobatojo: Abeg go and sit down! Encouraging someone to keep talking daily for 2 hrs to a friend when you can't so such a thing yourself!

Of course she's making a ton of sense!

ileoba, you need to lie down....
i am not encouraging the husband - i am saying the wife should calm down and throw away the bath water with the baby all because husband spends 2 hrs with his friend. so if she's asked why she left her husband - what's she going to say?

Beetle: @ coogar, I laugh at your stupidity. Someone's punchbag!! O ti bi. They no born am!!!

abeggi, make i hear word......
that's what they all say - i have the perfect man and reh reh reh whereas women of your ilk are modern day slaves in their matrimony.

The only time DH spends 2 hours on the phone which is not everyday is when he's talking business and guess what when he's done we spend time together. I won't moan because he's trying to make life better for us and because he's matured and knows there's a time and place for everything.

so who told you this dude does not spend time with his spouse after the 2 hour rituals with his friend?

@ ileobatojo, I'm a bonafide Ruth. Ruth sef no get nothing on me. don't mind this coogar guy sef he just dey ri si me. Need to go and join my punchbag in bed before he starts chatting for 2 hours with his friend.

madam ruth, well done!

ileobatojo: Lawd, this woman speaks sense! I could kiss you right now. No homo.

what sense is she making?
i won't be surprised she's someone's punchbag - coming to NL to talk a good game. if sitting at home at home and talking to one's friend for 2 hours makes a man a mediocre husband then i would like to see the perfect husband.......

Beetle: @ cougar, I'm happily married and have been for the past 7 years unlike you. I have expectations from everyone and I'm ready to give my all and put 100% into whatever I put my mind to.

mrs beetle jackson - 7 year experience in marital issues

That's the prob with people like you and Nikky celebrating mediocrity. No I don't and I won't tolerate it. Wow so celebrating mediocrity is sensible. Thanking God your husband is not out every night is sensible. Yes no one is perfect but babes you get what you ask for.

no one is celebrating mediocrity - we are just identifying with the fact that it could have been worse!

Beetle: @ Nikkykay do you really mean that ' Thank God he's not out hanging out with his friends every night'

So these are some of the qualities you look for in a man. What happened to going for the best. Some of the comments on Nairaland never ceases to amaze me.

that's not the quality she looks for in a man.....
nikkykay is a sensible woman - she knows the perfect man does not exist anywhere so she's prepared for little rough edges. women like you with the belief that there is a prince charming somewhere are the ones who are more likely to be surprised in their marriage.

keep at it......

Vikin: I feel those ones that watch from d start till end are serial wankers or those dat cannot go each day without having it at least twice....then they need much hormone to get started.

it's mostly for viewing sake driven by acute boredom!

Those days offshore, most of these offshore guys are serial wankers....even the born again ones watch it. If not, how can they go straight 4 weeks without the presence of women.

perfecting their art for the days they would see their partners again.

In my cabin then, I had this supervisor who will openly watch it, excuse himself to the toilet, me i go just face my PC

what is he doing in the toilet?

[quote author=BABE!]...... like a baws! Coogar for the girls dem [/quote]on the contrary, i drive slow.
never copped a speeding ticket all my life.

Na you bad pass. Remember me in thy kingdom.. do not pass me by

you shall not be forgotten!

Vikin: What I don't understand is people who watch porn from the beginning of the movie to the end....wetin dem dey watch again when the first episode you go don satisfy ur self?

people who watch it till the end have little or no testosterone in them - they need enough viewing to get them started.

As for a.naal based, I no follow Abeg! If he insist, I will try it first with him ....I will promise to be gently also.

hmmmm....
madam viking.....i troway salute!

[quote author=baby_123]Lmao. Lai lai! Not with Mr. Well endowed. Tufia! I can't do abeg. And no, its not a myth! . Fastest way for STD's, HPV, HIV and all the other viruses to be transmitted. People are advised to use condoms. Also anal cancer! Imagine condom in the yansh abeg! My nerves are all running for cover at the thought.[/quote]fastest way for STDs, HIVs.....if your partner does not have STDs, the disease won't just jump into either of you. men know the tissues there are delicate so it's imperative they go gently! there's really no issue on this at all!

dayokanu: ^^ Especially male infants, If you see the way they attack bo00bies you would think there is cocaine in it

male infants have always loved boobs - i breastfed for 3 yrs!
legend has it that i wanted nothing else but boobs. the milk wasn't even the motivation but having something to suck on.

[quote author=baby_123]Leaking backdoor is not a farce. The backdoor is not elastic like the front door. bwahahaha. You want to use your tool to destroy another persons life. Hope you can live with the stench once it starts coming. As we get older, everything becomes more slack. Goodluck! You still didnt answer if it was ok for someone to stick something up your behind, because it excites her.[/quote]my tool is well-tamed!
of course, the strokes would be gentle and well-controlled......there's no stench or the elastic getting slacked. all those stuff are myths.

[quote author=BABE!]He answered you. "If she wants it, she would have it" [/quote]in wande coal's voice - "i know you want it cos you badt"

chaircover: That means you have a very crooked something

well - my ancestors were warriors in the desert of senegal - they were well-packaged.
however, your online shop would come to my rescue. i am ordering about a dozen toys in the coming months so brace yourself.

dayokanu: If the baby grabs the invading Kondo and bites it off nko?

true talk.....
these babies of nowadays - very aggressive feeding habit! the son of my friend finishes baby food in a day or two. boy eats like a giant! i told my friend the baby must have been from a famine-ridden country in his other life.

chaircover: cooger this is for you

haaaaaaa.....
if this is the true depiction of the foetus, my baby is not safe. i am very sure the tip would touch the head of my baby.

chaircover: There are 2 things here.

1. Poster doesnt feel like making love to his wife
2. He doesnt last as long as he used to

sir, you have received very good advise here about the safety of sex during non high risk pregnancy's, however one thing no one has asked is if you still find your wife attractive. Many men see their wives as more attractive and blooming during their pregnacy, while a smaller number dont, so you need to be truthful to yourself on the real reasons why you are finding it difficult to make love to your wife. Hopefully its just that you are scared of hurting the baby and your fears have now been allayed.

his fears have been allayed? how?
chaircover, what if this bloke carries an extra-large package that can bruise the baby's head? i know i have been told several times on this section that there's no danger but i am still not convinced.

Temismith: I once visited a friend who had just put to bed, den i noticed somthing about the daughter's private part when she was changing her diaper. I asked her about it and she said she was circumsices because 'that is how it is done in her husband's place' i couldnt ask her futher questions cos she didnt look happy about it. My question is dis; what is/are the reason(s) for circumcising a girl?

it's a cultural practise in africa....
the practise is meant to keep her head tightly screwed. africans in their wisdom thought partially cutting off the clitøris would prevent the average young woman from philandering but there's no proof that circumcision or lack of it affects the tendency to have sëx in women.

[quote author=baby_123]So are you saying if for some reason, something comes over your wife and she decides she wants to stick something up your backdoor because it will give her pleasure. Will you oblige? Because tomorrow, when she has a leaking backdoor, you will take to your heels. Am sure you cannot live with a person that smells like sh*it. Why risk her health and life over such strange behavior. I wont do that for anything in the world abeg. Especially when the hubby is endowed. God forbid. ROTFLMAO.[/quote]if she wants it, she would have it!
leaking backdoor is a farce abeg. how many times have you heard of leaking backdoors? this is not nollywood. my duty as a husband is to satisfy my spouse.

gunuvi: Haba Mr Fasholaaa!! How can I ask person we dey declare table of his identity and source of income before I drink his beer?? What if he get angry and cancel his declaration of beers?

Well sha, me I dey on my 5th bottle of Harp Lager wey one aboki dey buy for me...I will ask of his I'd after I don drink like 10 of his free beers.

5 bottles of beer before 3pm?
where exactly are you so i can send an ambulance before you pass out.....

$6 billion to oil theft?
imagine what that money would do to PHCN.....

the poverty in the land would make this very difficult. no nigerian would refuse food/drink in the face of hunger.

shymexx: Damn!! I definitely need to move to Somalia and live on the pirate ships...

Life without bills is all I want...

i have got 2 options by the end of the year - nigeria or switzerland. britain can fück off until things improve.

adaobi123: the spare bedroom one ?

yes.....
the spare bedroom one is the funniest and ridiculous!

shymexx: Shyte, how will this back and forth between coogar ad cap28 reduce my council tax and all the bills I got last week?? Even the NHS is messed up right now... I might have to declare myself permanently unstable mentally and get sectioned for a month to get these mofos off my back...

have you heard of the bedroom tax?