₦airaland Forum

davidylan: No one (male or female) is 100% happy alone. But when you are faced with either being single or a life of constant headache, being ridiculed and treated as scum in your own home... i know which i would vote for.

this argument is based on the fact that her case is hopeless. are you certain her husband is resistant to change? why are you in a hurry to conclude nothing can be done to rehabilitate the husband? na wa o. people strive to make their marriage work - not run at the first sign of trouble.

Its not like you cant marry again after a failed marriage. Lets stop pushing this false lie that being married is the be all and end all. Marry the right person and you are set for life, marry the wrong person and even hell would be a better option.

marry who?
would you marry a mother of 2? why do we peddle options we would not take ourselves? how many single men would marry a mother of 2 or you want her to leave her husband and start cotching up with a widower, polygamist or another baby father? there's no right/wrong person to marry - if both parties work very hard to make their marriage good, it would be good!

davidylan: Oh please. This is a well-worn lie. Some women would be far happier alone than being with men who treat them no better than the scum on the soles of their shoes.

there's no woman(baby mother) that is happy alone. quit such talks. of course, they would want you to believe all is well and dandy but it's far from the truth. for the sake of the children in the centre of this ish, divorce should be the last option after all methods have failed.

davidylan: You're quite a pathetic character if you dont realize the gravity of the words you uttered.

what's the gravity of what she uttered? haba. jidegirl's husband has the right to choose who he likes associating with. maybe he's had several ugly experiences with black people and he's decided to dissociate himself completely from them. abeg, there are enough nigerians i know in the uk who don't associate with blacks and who don't live in black neighbourhoods. their life, their choice.

ileobatojo: Isn't it clear she has reached her threshold now? Abi how many more ways do you want her to say it?

i can bet she would be happier with a spitting husband than being alone. there are children involved here as well. wouldn't it be a tad selfish to just quit with innocent kids in the middle of this? abeg na, this is not a boyfriend/girlfriend matter. until all the options have been exhausted, a woman must do everything humanly possible to keep her marriage even if it means seeking the services of ileobatojo(africa's most potent witchdoctor).

ileobatojo: You see yourself?! Can you see how much of a trouble maker you are? Imagine visiting their home one day when the spitfest begins?

it's not something they would do in the presence of their visitors. husband obviously finds spitting orgasmic so it's almost like sex to him.

Btw, I'm the same way too, I totally cringe when footballers on tv spit. I can't stand seeing people spit, hate seeing spit on the floor. I can't deal with anyone's spit but my baby's own; and only when he's a baby! I can deal with poop, I can deal with urine, but saliva!! No no no!! Totally disgusted by it. So there's no way this would have gone on more than once or twice in my home. Mba!

you see yourself?
the op has endured it for 2 years - it simply means she doesn't find it as gross like we do. we all have different thresholds to these cringeworthy acts. as far as spitting in concerned, the op's threshold is way higher than yours so it would be misguided to advise her based on your own reaction to spitting.

[quote author=Efemena_xy]~ As long as I made that call and not the other way round, then no wahala[/quote]na lie jor!
until i speak to a caucasian, i would keep hanging up and redialling. you would reel out your bank details to a nigerian customer care officer? i laugh in efemena.

~ Nigerian employees in British banks is nothing new, neither is it a big deal

of course it's nothing new - it depends on what role they play in the banks. personally, i wouldn't want any contact with any nigerian where personal banking details would be exchanged.

But come to think of it, I think I like you better Coogar, ever since I found out that you aren't black.

i don't doubt that. my white butt attracts black women.

ileobatojo: Sh'o tan! Meanwhile you are advising the OP to do spitfests. Go and sit down jo. Naughty boy!!

i advised the op to do spitfest cos her husband loves spitting. i find the act gross. till this day, i cringe whenever i watch football players spitting after working their lungs off....how much more spitting on another human!!!

Winneygirl: Ok. Sorry. 'temporal seperation'.
Instead of dis beating abt d bush we are all doing, can we all state in clear terms what we think is d way forward 4 d Op.?
Give Ur concrete advise pls...

P.S: B4 we confuse d Op, ourselves and every other person viewing dis thread!!

the op has been advised already.
the choice is hers.....she either joins her husband in the spitting game or find other ways to prevent recurrence. divorce is the last option.....it's a very simple problem.

ileobatojo: In front of your two kids no less?

we would start doing the spitfest behind our kids.

And by the way, it is not the first sign of trouble. She has already tried multiple avenues to try to resolve it over a couple of years.

it's the same trouble they have refused to fix.

davidylan: it could be true.

busted![quote author=Efemena_xy]***sniggers***
"...I don't hang out with blacks..."
Now that is the most myopic, dumbest, inferiority complex laden statement of the year! Uttered by a [b]black[/b]for that matter.
What's so special about non-blacks if I may ask? [/quote]don't pretend, efe
i am sure there are some aspects of the black people you detest too. scenario 1 - you call your bank and a man with nigerian accent introduces himself as "wale adebayo" picks up the phone and asks you to supply your personal info including your date of birth and password, what would you do?

ileobatojo: Coogar, would you be okay having spitfests with your wife every couple of days?

i only do shagfests.......spitfest is a bit too gross for me. if per chance, my wife turns to a spitting cobra, i wouldn't leave her because of that. i would have to find a lasting solution to her problem: kiss her every minute we are together to ensure she does not have any spittle in her mouth to assault my person.

ileobatojo: This is what you like to see?....

of course, that's what i like to see.....i am a winner and winners don't quit(unless we are dealing with a matter of life and death).

So what are the serious consequences? And how will it be different from what some are saying?

pessimism is your biggest problem.
why do you think the husband won't have a change of heart if the op really puts her foot down and yell "enough is enough"?

She already did, see the original post.

i am not convinced she really did. the husband likened spitting on her to cunninlingus. it simply means the husband spits on her sex button as well during sex(something the op obviously enjoys).

If she is comfortable with being spit on, why would she be here complaining? Obviously, the man has no qualms about their arguments becoming a spitting competition, that doesn't mean the wife is okay with continuing to spit and be spat on. What manner of disgusting solution is this you are proposing?

so she should leave her husband because she cannot have a spitfest? if everyone left their husbands at the first sign of trouble then there wouldn't be married folks on the planet. she can manage this crisis without going through a divorce. personally, i think divorce is for losers.

davidylan: Believe me bro, the last time i dated a nigerian woman was 9 yrs ago. With women like jidegirl, i dont believe its been a bad decision.

except that i heard through the grapevine you impregnated a fellow nairalander called "omo eko" in 2008/9 circa. however, you could be right - maybe it was a one night stand and not the conventional dating.

davidylan: I guess i could say i dont date blacks either. See Jidegirl, me and your hubby are even.
For the life of me i had no idea why that came up... i had no idea it was now a thing of pride for blacks to say they dont hang out with blacks. clear case of a neo-colonial mindset if you ask me.

you don't date blacks?
ol' boy, you are missing o - there's nothing as good dating black women especially nigerian chics. they are sweeter than licorice. firm butt, luscious boöbs and errrrrrrrrrrr......

so jidegirl and davidylan don't hang out with negroes? y'all are racists! jidegirl, i am visiting your city in february and you are hosting me. lest i forget, i am black!!

davidylan: I didnt ask that she get a divorce. Rather i ask that she starts to take an active role in changing her husband. Men are emboldened to do what they do because they have wives like the OP who take the abuse and do nothing... rather blame themselves for the man's poor behavior. She needs to give him an ultimatum... either you stop and behave like a grown adult or face serious consequences.

now, this is what i like to see on these pages....
everyone on this thread has condemned what the man does to the op. personally, i hate to see people spit, let alone a grown man hocking spit at the woman he claims to love. that being said, i still don't think separation is the solution like some posters are trying to say.

she needs to discuss at length with her husband and if that method fails, she should start spitting too. what works in household b will not necessarily work in household g. different strokes for different folks jare. there's no hard n fast rule to a happy marriage. as long as the 2 parties are comfortable with their spitfest, who are we to decide how they must live their lives?

[quote author=baby_mama]Coogar I hope you are not a wife beater or abuser
Your aggression scares me even from an electronic stand point[/quote]wifebeater ke? my ego is too obese to make me a wife beater. my words are my weapon, i don't think i have used my hands on any woman since my sophomore year when one yeye naija chic slapped me in a lecture room.

jidegirl12: Eeeeesh ..... I'm married to the most decent man you could ever imagine ...... not like you bunch of hypocrites .... doesn't hang out with blacks either ....he was the best thing that happened since Clinton regime.

https://24.media.tumblr.com/74768e77fb2fb1467bb799ba1765b316/tumblr_mfpjujoUGg1rpt9sio1_400.gif

[quote author=baby_mama]
There is another man in Nigeria,a one time politician married to a friend of a friend
He not only beats her up but he urinates on her while she is wriggling in pain from his beatings
There are some men that have no business being married
Women should learn to weed these animals out at courtship because they display these signs even then[/quote]https://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_meywkdTHgp1rsf16v.gif

davidylan: I dont believe in divorce at all. I dont believe that a woman should be treated like a child by a violent animal either...

then proffer solutions to her and let's leave divorce out of it. i doubt the op said anything about the husband using fisticuffs or drop kicks on her. he has likened his spitting on her to cunninlingus.......the husband does not seem to think he's doing anything wrong so i suggest the wife should start spitting on him too. they deserve each other

jidegirl12: Don't mind them..... babymama is showing off her 'circle of life necklace' on romance section her hubby got her this Christmas .....

I got that same set with stud earrings set since 2009 valentines day..... but it's not my place to condemn your precious gift .....

my point ; one man's meat is another man's poison ....

leave OP alone if the D word is your only advice.... we don't break relationships here ...we mend it provided its not Abusive!

.

exactly....
telling her to quit the marriage is not a solution. if the op really feel what she's going through is unbearable, she would have walked out of the marriage before coming on nairaland to seek a second opinion. she wants to save her marriage so only posts proffering solutions should be entertained. "quit this, quit that" talks rub me the wrong way.

i dedicate this goal to mukina2 merry christmas and thank you very much for convincing wenger to sell robin van persie to us. it's the best bit of transfer business in 2012.

https://i.minus.com/iso85cHua3ryT.gif

jidegirl12: You're just bluffing!

jidegirl12, for the umpteenth time, you are evil.....you are making sense. majority of the folks campaigning for the op to leave her husband are going through worse situations with their spouses and they have not left. nobody should tell a woman to leave her husband - that decision should be left to the op to make......

[quote author=baby_mama]Did I lie?
You need a woman that can handle you well well[/quote]i am dying to be handled......

[quote author=baby_mama]

Men are like babies
They want to know how much they can get away with but the woman has to teach him what the boundaries are
[size=18pt]Our men are tough,look at Coogar,does he look like an easy nut to crack?[/size]
If given the chance,Everyman can be controlling to the tune of abuse,every single one of them
It is in their nature to control ,but a woman can direct where that control should end
[/quote]https://farm3.static.flickr.com/2554/3859271924_24af790d82_o.gif

tarababy: He was not shocked or surprised.He said spitting is no big deal,afterall he uses the same mouth to give me mouthaction.
can u imagine him comparing spits to mouthaction?

technically, he's correct. he must be an expert cunninlinguist though to have brought that up but he's still a jerk for hocking spit at you. bite him the next time he tries such.

any of us here would dominate a midfield of giggs/scholes.
they are only good when we are in possession of the ball. without the ball, it's like playing 9 players versus 11. they are the real reasons our back four are exposed. newcastle had 15 attempts including 7 on target and people blame de gea.

RuuDie: Coogar. Enough of this your roadside newspaper-stand analysis and generalizations abeg. . .can you categorically prove that in all the "come-back" games we've played, Giggs/Scholes played or started!!?

the evidence is there.
one of giggs/scholes or both have started in all the games we have lost this season. against everton(giggs started)....against spurs(giggs/scholes started), against norwich(scholes started)......the other game against swansea - the strikers and valencia were the culprits!

Dede1: Fashola’s achievement or lack thereof is typical Yoruba loudmouthed acts of hype and exaggeration.

except that his template is being used by the other state governors, specifically governors of the eastern states!

debosky: Keshi is quite daft - if he was aware of a possibility of Ameobi not making it due to the contractual clause, why not invite Odemwingie as a back up anyway?

He's just making a phool of himself by not inviting arguably the best Nigerian forward/striker at the moment. I know you have Ideye and others who are not doing badly, but why on earth wouldn't you invite him and invite Ameobi when Osaze is clearly performing better?

everything keshi knows about football can be written on a shirt button. any manager in this day and age that takes 10 strikers in a squad of 23 to compete in a tournament football is a complete bellend. to think our football federation is paying for keshi's services is even more infuriating. how many strikers can he play at a time? 5??

mbulela: If RIO had reacted faster than Perch instead of looking stunned we would not be having this discussion.
When he was bought, i said this; that DDG will cost us points in the short term but save us a whole lot more in the medium and long term. All he needs is perseverance from Fergie.
I can understand if DDG is being dropped for Brad Friedel in the short term but being dropped for an all round average Lindegaard is hard to take.
There are obvious points in DDG's game that you can see first class ability and considering the lad is barely 21, he will improve.
Lindegaard is just average all round and is way older. He is just more confident in his 'averageness'.

lindegaard is not better than de gea.....
de gea has improved massively in dealing with crosses. he now jumps higher n punches the ball unlike his debut season when he used to be bully - that was the only area you could say lindegaard was better then. de gea has better reflexes, better positioning, more agile, better movement and excellent distribution. if we can sort our back four and central midfield, de gea has the best pair of safe hands in the league.

RuuDie: In the history of World Sport, I don't think any professional athlete talked sh*t or blustered more than Mohammed Ali (Cassius Clay). . .but why do still people love and respect him, even many years after!!? Because behind it all, we all know he was just playing games, "fooling" around, trying to "mess" up his adversary's head. But can we say the same for Mourinho?
It is a very, very thin line between confidence and cockiness especially when you know your worth and believe in your ability; if sufficient care isn't taken you can scarcely know when you've crossed that line!

I am not taking anything away from him, he's paid his dues and earned his coins! He is a genius when he is really focused but pride. . .is a very dangerous thing! We love the entertainment value of many of antics but when he takes it too far, he should be called to order.

mourinho is lenient
alex ferguson bans obnoxious journalists from his press conference. if a journo wants to be a snivelling rat - then he should be treated like a vermin. i hate sports journalists - their main objective is to twist comments made, sensationalise it to sell papers. mourinho should start banning them from attending his conference.

[quote author=Sisi_Kill]Well this is a tough one oh but let's break it down based of on the stories we have heard.[/quote]superstory or papa ajasco?

If a man Cheats, it's the woman's fault because she is missing whatever it is he saw in the other person.

70% of the time, it's the man's fault. he's the one with the issue or the greed to go n dip his sausage elsewhere.

If a woman's cheat, it's the woman's fault because she is not content with what she has.

if she cheats, there's no excuse - she's 90% responsible. women attach emotions to everything and they must have thought it through before taking off their knickers.

If a man Cheats, it's the devil's fault since the devil is the woman, it is the woman's fault.

not true - the devil has been used as an excuse by men, women, children and animals. it applies universally.

If a woman cheats, it is the devil's fault, since the devil is the woman, it is the woman's fault.

correct!

If a man's cheats, it was in a moment of weakness, since it is a wife's duty to pray for her husband's shortcomings therefore it is her fault.

ridiculous!

If a man cheats, he was lured into it by the person he cheats with, since more often than not, it is a woman he cheats with then the woman is at fault.

bizzare!

Yeah, it think it is safe to say it is the woman. . .the omnipresence, omniscient, all powerful being who is to blame.

i wish women have such powers - unfortunately, they don't but nonetheless, they should be feared. anything that bleeds 5 days every month without dying deserves my maximum respect!

montelik: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2253593/Robert-Lewandowski-set-sign-Manchester-United.html

he's not better than welbeck - waste of money. get 2 african midfielders with that money and we would be very safe.

DeeManD: I take it that the original poster would accept the following section from the Nigerian constitution as written.

CHAPTER 5 of the Constitution

Part 1(C). Qualifications for Membership of National Assembly and Right of Attendance

Item 65. QUALIFICATIONS FOR ELECTION
(1) Subject to the provisions if section 66 of this constitution, a person shall be qualified for election as a member of:
(a) the Senate, if he is a citizen of Nigeria and has attained the age of 35 years; and
(b) the House of Representatives, if he is a citizen of Nigeria and has attained the age of 30 years;


(2) A person shall be qualified for election under subsection(1) of this section if:
(a) he has been educated up to at least School Certificate level or its equivalent; and
(b) he is a member of a political party and is sponsored by that party.

you mean SSCE is the minimum requirement to be in the house of assembly in nigeria? no wonder the country is one fat sack of shyte. they should up the ante to m.sc at least. any rëtard can cop SSCE certificate for bleeps' sake.

[quote author=Mr_TA]Well as good as Hart is he has shown that all keepers have howlers in them not just once but numerous times this season. In fact he has been guilty of the same pushing the ball to oncoming strikers error you blame DDG for numerous times this year.[/quote]thank you for this observation......
the pushing of ball to oncoming strikers is actually hart's dna. all the goals he conceded against bayern last season were because of that. besides, hart has committed a truck of howlers in the past 18 months - even with city's stable defence unit!

I like Cech though and personally I think Cech is still the best in the division but with Reina, Im sorry but Reina has been awful this season for Liverpool. Infact he's been awful for a while now. DDG is definitely currently better than Reina.

chelsea defend better than us. they don't play geriatrics in their midfield and their back 4 have more continuity than united's. the number of times fergie chops n shops the defence is a weakness on it's own........coupled with a 2-man midfield that has one of scholes/giggs and you have a tactical harakiri!

RuuDie: @ Coogar.

No disrespect bro. . .

But how the fvck did you win this!!?

by popular demand......
trade secrets, my friend - trade secrets!

afam4eva: Someone hid my comment but didn't hide this? SMH

what's wrong with my comment?
i didn't insult you - neither did i insult desola. i didn't even say anything about you getting killed. my friend, you need to learn to be witty. it's an art - i only said desola is waiting for you with her gun. i never implied she was going to shoot you, so read between the lines mr afam and stop constituting a nuisance because you want jarus' job.

mukina2: sharaap nothing like that.
i love Ashley Williams!!!

bad belle......
he recovered for that incident n still scored last night. you told us he's finished at 29, you told us he's injury-prone, you told us he loves money. all those claims are false. van persie leads the scoring charts with his old age, he has played more games at united than any of the other strikers we have got and he turned down man city's mouth-watering offer to join united. mukina2, if you carry this bad belle enter 2013, you would cop appendix/ulcers before the end of january - this is your last warning.