ErnestNc: This is a continuation to this thread I opened formerly https://www.nairaland.com/8607122/experience-dating-older-single-mother For those who didn't follow the previous thread. I had gotten myself entangled with a dismissive avoidant single mother of a 13yr old, who is 4yrs older than I am. She got pregnant, aborted it. Realised she's been sleeping with multiple male friends she calls "babe". "Babe" to her is a generic term used to refer to all of her friends, both male and female. It was a messy break up being an empath who has an anxious attachment. I've been trying to heal my attachment style ever since this event, and I've embarked on some self help road map. Read on different attachment styles here https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/social-connection/attachment-and-adult-relationships POST BREAK UP " I guess I've been looked down upon and taken for granted. Hence the mistreatment" I said to myself. I had lost my 6figures teaching gig+ job due to the break up effect . It wasn't gonna be sustainable after all.
I needed an upgrade . With the current economic hardship, taking out more than half a million for a technical training isn't that promising. "What if I don't get a better offer after using such money?" . I took out 700k out of my fair lock and paid for the training anyways. Omo my acct don dey red , if I no get this job e don be... I exclaimed . I've always wanted to be a big boy someday, and I don't think I'd accomplish that while teaching. I think trying is better than not trying at all. Whilst I was on this skill development program, single mom was still trying to bread crumb me despite having given up on the relationship . Yes, I deserve the insults that should come in the comment section, but I entertained her fakeness. Yes, she had a plan to wrap me in, knowing I had embarked on that technical training we've been banking on. And I played along knowing she would break out of character soon. But how soon? I couldn't tell. Myself , being self aware, i have been making research as touching my type of attachment style and hers. why was i always anxious to fix up things regardless of whose fault it was that caused any disagreement, and why she always doesn't want to resolve issues or talk about emotions or admit faults? All these led to me reading up on attachment theory In BED WITH THE DEVIL Armed with knowledge , I knew it was a dicey attempt to play house with her. Overwhelmed by the flashes that came with muscle memory, each time we collided, my testosterone spiked. The sight of her melons and the warm cuddling eroded my reasoning. During our first meeting behind close doors, I could hear her breathing heavily from a distance . What happened after is a story for another day It was all lovey and dovey. " Is she really buying this ? " I thought to myself. we both weren't really into it, cuz how on earth would I be taking her back after what I already know about her promiscuous lifestyle ? And why would she be so pretentious , acting lovely, despite the insults and name calling i threw at her out of anger and frustration? Regardless, we both apologized to each other and agreed to let things slide. But I knew it deep down that someone was gonna break out of character and this honey moon phase would be over soon. The UnVeiling During the reconciliation, single mom said she was only teasing me about sleeping with several men during our argument. She didn't come back home from work one day, not knowing I was at her house when I did put a call across and she said she was home. Lol . Turns out she was out being straffed by one of her "babe" . Having her spare key, I slept in and left quietly in the morning. I stood far off from her gate unnoticed, and lo, a beautiful lady with a big nyansh highlighted from a highlander jeep. Yes it was single mom. I never confronted but took note. Knowing that single mom was always dismissive she wondered why I was so calm and less reactive, but later on, I would jokingly ask her if those times we had those issues, she really had threesomes and would tease her if it was good. We laughed about it but I was pained . " Am I falling again ? " I asked myself. I became disturbed by her dismissiveness. She would annoyingly deflect during serious conversations. Most times dismiss my concerns and shut down like I was talking to a stone.. I noticed strange calls, inconsistent closure from work, it was even worse than before .. Hahaha. What she did next was unbelievable THe Baecation Some of you might be thinking i planned a vacation with single mom. Lol , let's find out . At this point I was already losing my game . It's barely 3 weeks since we reconciled . Being a stvpid nice guy, I was about to break out of character and tell her straight up she's been tripping again . I called single mom to meet up at night , but she wasn't sounding alright from the phone. She was panting like someone who took a run or a long walk. Hahaha . You guessed right. I didn't have to think twice. I cut the call and said I was coming over. lo, she wasn't around. Single mom is so busy that she would barely leave her fashion work for second to go be with me or anyone for a moment. It turned out she was flown out of the city for a friend's burial and would be returning 6days later . I asked why? But the burial was yesterday (Saturday) . It's over already, what's the extra 5days for? Her response was that she had to console a grieving friend and he promised to take her clubbing and she wants to rest from work too. Was this what you abandoned ur work , ur child u were meant to visit and me , for? Then I was hit with "You thought I had forgotten how u insulted my womanhood and called me a whhóre. I will never forgive you".
Yea I guess I was right after all. Goodbye love. U're never gonna change.
Why didn't you cheat on her before breaking up, and let her feel the pain too. Anyday she sleeps out and you know she goes for runz use her place do orgy. 🤣 E vex me sha....
Don't smoke colos Dont try any drugs Don't take tramadol or rohypnol Don't take crack or ice or cocaine....... if you try it, 2 things are involved...
Either you ruin your finance to sustain the habit or you steal to sustain the habit
Sirchiboy: 1) Staying indoor as a child. 2) Not Having a GF as a teenager 3) Not socializing. 4) Being afraid to take risk . 5) Not learning hardwork and not leaving house at 17 or 18
enemyofprogress: *BREAKING: Wedding Called Off in Imo State After Groom Discovers Old Social Media Photo!!!*
A planned marriage ceremony in Imo State has been abruptly cancelled after the groom reportedly discovered an old Facebook photograph of his fiancée allegedly smoking cannabis, locally referred to as “Canadian Loud.”
According to sources close to the couple, the man uncovered the image just days before the wedding while browsing through her past social media posts. The discovery led to a disagreement between both families and eventually the suspension of the ceremony.
The bride-to-be reportedly pleaded with him, insisting the photo reflected a past lifestyle she no longer lives. She explained that she had changed and asked that her present character be considered instead of her previous behavior.
However, the groom allegedly declined to continue with the marriage, stating he was uncomfortable proceeding after the discovery. Family members were unable to resolve the dispute before the scheduled date, forcing the ceremony to be called off.
Community reactions have been mixed. Some residents supported the groom’s decision, saying marriage requires transparency and shared values, while others argued that people should not be judged solely by their past actions, especially if they have changed.
Relationship counselors say incidents like this are becoming more common as old social media content resurfaces during courtship and wedding preparations, often raising issues of trust, disclosure, and compatibility.
The families involved have not issued an official public statement as of press time.
AnonPoet: How Immigration Service Secretly Allowed Five Chinese Nationals Arrested, Deported For Working Without Valid Papers Entry Back Into Nigeria - Source
What kind of nonsense is this? 🙄 Meanwhile in China they don't pity Nigerians most especially. if you are caught without papers you will pay a fine of 10,000rmb equivalent of 2.1million naira, and still spend some time in jail (up to 1 month or more) then pay for your flight ticket back home, before you can be deported. If you can't pay for your ticket you will remain in jail till you afford it by contacting friends and family.
Wotowotoman: How do you know Mike doesnt drink Kai Kai or that Wike drinks Kai Kai? Them be your papa friends? 🤔
Oga evidence choke. I also lived in Rivers state for years. You dey whine? Even if Mike drinks Kai Kai he is still chubby and didn't call someone a fool and forgot he did that and denied it in a press conference, Mike is not an oppressor 🤣
zoedew: There were twin issues. You missed the issue that was my focus. You choose what you wish to focus on and stay on your lane!
you also missed the issue with your first comment... I started by saying it's Kai Kai but you chose to ignore it and focus on what you want. So make we all dey our lane🙄
christistruth01: When 97% of an Ethnic group is Muslim their religion is part of their Ethnic identity
So Kano state is 97% Muslim? You went on to say their religion is part of their identity, that further justifies the actions of Kwankwaso and the silence of Muslims there. One Nigeria indeed.. South east are mainly ethnic Christians,but how many times have you heard of Muslims being harassed in the South east because of their religion?
christistruth01: Is Ipob’s Monday sit at home not Ethnic supremacists fanatism does it consider the belief of other Tribes living in the SE ?
Let us not get too hypocritical
You are the one getting too hypocritical here because we are talking about religion not ethnicity. Even before from the Inception of the sit at home till it was lifted many Igbos spoke against it. How many Muslims have spoken out against Sharia law imposed on non-muslims? Do you really believe in Christ as your moniker says Let us not get too hypocritical
TrioVibes: See, I am a Christian and I will never support evil. However, I strongly disagree with Rabiu Musa Kwankwaso being mentioned for possible U.S. sanctions. I was in Kano during that period and I understand how the politics played out.
Even during times of religious crisis, he consistently stood against fanatics. At one point, he was even given a Christian nickname simply because he openly resisted those who wanted to cause violence against Christians. If the U.S. had named other individuals in the North, especially those known to have released terrorists or openly fraternised with them, there would have been far less controversy.
There is a former governor whose records and reports were widely circulated at the time, yet he later became a party chairman. Had his name been mentioned, many people would not have argued because his history is already well documented.
Even though I only encountered Kwankwaso briefly, I do not agree with the claim that the “red cap” politician has anything to do with terrorism.
Except I see a video of him directly participating in issues of terrorism which I think it would be a figment of the accusers imaginations.
Swallow this story hook line and sinker at your own risk. Peller is already on watch list for washing dirty money through his online gifts and now this... Yeye dey ooze. Many of the rich in Arab countries are being impersonated.
Hungrychicken: Huawei phones doesn’t support WhatsApp. They had their beef in the past and the USA banned them from Android OS, and other American apps. Get a different phone
Using Oppo now, WhatsApp works fine only for the exception I mentioned about being blocked once I chat a new number. I stil can't figure a way out if it. Although I het unbanned after some hours.
TheTundeMuniru: Hi Nairalanders. I purchased a fairly used Huawei phone, wiped it, installed WhatsApp and I logged in my details.
I bought the phone purposefully because of WhatsApp and Telegram. To my greatest shock, I was logged out of WhatsApp when on live chat with one of my clients. On the App, I requested for a Review, the Account was restored but only to be blocked again 2 days later.
I was so devastated thinking it was a direct WhatsApp ban for violating their terms. To my greatest surprise, my phone number have been blocked from using WhatsApp on any phone at all. I sent several messages to the WhatsApp Support , but the problem persists.
After making many efforts with little result to back my efforts. I got another line which I slotted in the same Huawei phone, only for the new line to be blocked from using WhatsApp.
The whole thing got me frustrated and I remembered Nairalanders are brilliant.
My people, please help me.
Happens mostly on used Oppo and Huawei phones. No used gadget or electronics is better than just getting a new one.
For me I get blocked anytime I chat with a newly added contact. I still don't know why. I am using my naija number in china, any reason why?
Northernblood8: Controversy Erupts Over Pastor Fatoyinbo's Remarks on Igbo Christians
He is very wrong. Igbo christians single handedly build churches across the south east even in my village Abiriba. Stop this discrimination and focus on Winning SOuls. Can't you answer your calling without receiving or being given?
Naya261: I am planning of travelling to the UK for my Msc programme. My main purpose of travelling is as a means of jakpa not that I really need the Msc. I sold the land i bought in Asaba in 2018 for N22m. I plan to use the money for the tuition fee deposit ( £5,000) and other travel expenses. The complete tuition fee is £15,330. I will study and work in other to pay the remaining balance.
My plan is to remain in the UK and work after my study. Please I need your advice.
I can help you set yourself up with that money with any item of choice from China. I am located there and can help you with purchases. If you spend that money to further education you will still come back to Nigeria and what next?
Any clean area you see in Lagos has it's waste hidden under one bridge.
Nifemy4: It was a nauseating sight for me to behold this morning . Somthing shifted in me , but it was of immense curiosity borne out of : why can’t we get it right for once in this country .
For context : Lagos is the smallest state in Nigeria in terms of landmass and yet the richest state in west Africa. It’s a multibillion naira independent economy . Yet , what you find around is eye sore of garbage and soul crushing dirts like a pillar in the middle of the metropolis. This is suruelre , shitta roundabout .
If Lagos can’t get it right , then forget it . Nigeria can’t get it right . Cos Lagos is meant to be a prototype for other states .
The whole money in trillions made in this state is used to service one man’s greed —- no obvious development , nothing .
If you bring somone to Lagos for the first time , this is what they will see The blacks indeed can’t govern . They lack the capacity . I d prefer if we still being colonized
It was like a joke when a lady who appear to be the girlfriend of the guy that was hugged by his ex-girlfriend in the present of his girlfriend in a mall
Is the girlfriend afraid that the ex may take the guy back or why did she has to act that way?
Politics › Re: It Was Fun Seeing Atiku And Obi Supporters Tear Themselves Apart On Twitter by Countersam(m): 4:55am On Feb 23
