₦airaland Forum

A little girl got pregnant and her father was so furious he kept on asking himself, who could do this to my little girl?
Later he asked the girl who was responsible for the pregnancy.
At first, she refused to tell him but after a while she opened up and told him the whole truth, that the pregnancy belong to a very famous chief.
The father however called the chief and they both sat down to discuss about the whole matter.

Father: I learnt you are responsible for the 3 weeks pregnancy my daughter is carrying.

Chief: that’s true sir, but let me add this, if she gives birth to a male child, I’ll give you 5 million naira along with a furnished flat. If she gives birth to a female child, I’ll give you 2 million naira and a bungalow. If she gives birth to twins, I’ll give you 10 million naira along with a duplex
But if she has a miscarriage…

_{quickly the father added}

Father: you will have to sleep with her again.

I wish Samsick isn't really sick

A Foreigner came to Nigeria for the first time so he asked his personal attendant who couldn’t speak English properly to take him around the country so he could explore and have a good time.
The man however took him to exotic places. When they arrived at a particular site
The Foreigner asked his attendant.

Foreigner: Who owns all this beautiful places?

Attendant: “me o mo”

Foreigner: This “me o mo” would be a very rich man.

_{Unknowing to the Foreigner, “me o mo” simply means I don’t know but he taught that it meant someone’s name.}
They came to a very magnificent mansion and again the Foreigner asked his attendant

Foreigner: who owns this magnificent mansion?

Attendant: “me o mo”

Foreigner: I never knew Nigeria had rich people as this, so all this belong to “me o mo” I must pay him a visit when am less busy.

Finally they came to a place where a funeral was taken place. The Foreigner again asked his attendant.

Foreigner: Who are all these people weeping for?

Attendant: “me o mo”

Foreigner: Oh my God! So “me o mo” has died!

And he also wept bitterly.

@Folakaffy
I don't mind, you can share your jokes here

_{Meanwhile read this also}

A pastor was asked to minister in a particular church and as usual; he asked a popular question which almost every pastor asks. “How many of you want to go to heaven”? Every one responded positively to the question except one girl who acted as if the invitation wasn’t meant for her. The pastor however was so shocked and asked the girl to see him immediately after the service.

Pastor: Why didn’t you raise your hand during the sermon? Or don’t you want to go to heaven?

Girl: I would have loved to go, but my Aunty said I should return home immediately after the service

As if that wasn’t enough, a woman who had been weeping through out the service also came to see him.

Pastor: I noticed that you wept through out the service. Do you wish to give your life to Christ?

Woman: I’ve already done that. It’s just that your beard reminded me of my “He goat” which was stolen from my compound two weeks ago.

And she continued to cry…

I wish ronnie-slimz would dream about me

An illiterate was searching for a job and finally, he came to a big company to make inquires in respect of the advertisement which was being placed outside.
The man being so eager didn’t read the advertisement properly. He just dashed into the company and began to ask for the MD.
Little did he know that a job of such magnitude requires someone who has been to different parts of the world.
On getting there, the MD decided to have a little interview with him.

MD: Hello young man, what can I do for you?

Man: Good morning sir, I came concerning the advertisement placed outside your company.

MD: I see. I hope you know that this job requires someone who’s been to various parts of the world?

Man: Yes sir, I know that.

MD: Good. So tell me, have you been to Germany?

Man: Yes sir, I lived there for 7 years.

MD: Wao that’s good. How about the UK, have you been there before?

Man: Yes Sir, I also lived there for 5 years.

MD: Interesting, how about the United States?

Man: I’ve been there also Sir, and I lived there for 6 years.

MD: Hmmm. Then you must know much about geography.

Man: Yes sir I’ve also been to geography before, and I lived there for 6 years.

Three Village boys were brought to Lagos by their uncle.
They were so blunt that they couldn't even speak "pigeon English" let alone fluent English.
As a result of that, their uncle who brought them form the village gave them an   
Assignment that by this time next week, if they can't say any English word, they should
Prepare to head back to the village where they came from.
So these poor boys came all out to watch and hear people speak the language called English.
The first boy, being the oldest and the most exposed amongst the other two, decided to go to the market square where he overheard people discussing and one of them said "we three men" so he crammed that word and that was how he learnt his first English word.
The second boy who preferred to stay away till evening also learnt his first English word "Last night"
And finally the third boy who was always in the bus stop also learnt his first English word from the market people
Who are always quarrelling, "You no fit shakara us"

At that, the three boys were so happy that at last they knew an English word.
But their happiness didn't last long when they both went to a nearby field to play football with their friends
Unknowing to them, there was a dead body by the canal, which wasn't far from the field
On sighting the body, their colleagues fled and left them all alone in the field long with the body.
Few moments later, the policemen were hinted and came to the scene.

_{*Remember, these guys can't speak English*}

Policeman: Who killed this guy?

First boy: we three men

Policeman: When?

Second boy: Last night

Policeman: Am taking you all to the station

Third boy: you no fit shakara us.

I wish ronnie-slimz wold prepare a special Christmas for me

Obj is just decieving himself he can't decieve me
everyone knows that he isn't born again.

Look at the state of the nation does Nigeria look like a place that’s been governed by someone with the fear of God?
Let’s face reality Obsanjo isn’t born again.

I wish Kayala would sell all his belongings and give the money to the poor so he'll have riches in heaven.

She doesn't love you.
a girl who really loves you won't constantly keep asking you for money.
or does she think you're a bank.
where does she want you to get it from? _{maybe she wants you to become a robber}

Abi o!

some people don't even think properly before opening a topic

Well for me, I don't think my answer is no
If you already have a girlfriend, you must not avoid her simply because Christmas is around the corner.
But if it's a case of approaching a girl during Christmas period, I don’t think it’s advisable.

What you are telling us here is that your female friend is in love with her female cousin.
does that make any sense?

My advice to you is that you wait until after this festive period (Christmas and New year.)
if she continues the flashing and texting, then you know she truly likes you. but if otherwise, you should be able to "read the hand writing on the wall".

Why not?
every man's dream is to get married to a virgin.

For me first i'll look at her beauty
2. Honesty
3. The way she talks _{as you know most girls lack Composure}
4. Her mode of dressing
5. Her hobbies
6. If she has the fear of God
and
7. Her Attitude towards money

Whenever she comes to that cafe again, watch her closley.
when she's trough with her browsing, you make your move.

Walk up boldly to her and tell her you'll like to speak with her privately.
make sure you speak Decently and also try to look smart I can assure you that she’ll spare some time to speak with you.
Once you’ve done that, you can “let the cat out of the bag “

good luck

For me, going into relationships is natural.
It’s wonderful because
1.you find true love
2.you’ll find someone who cares.
3.you’ll be able to discuss your problems with someone whose ready to listen

it’s just something you can’t avoid.

What's hmmmmmmmmmmmmm _{or have you forgotten my signature?}

I wish uchetobi would tell me her tribe

Merry christmas to you sweetlove

jaybaby:
Same 2 u? Freedom child 'sup where da hell av u bin?

I've been around
hope you missed me

How heaven looks like

I was doing some observations

Jaybaby how naw

I wish I wish


I wish Jaybaby Merry christmas and happy new year

Emeka

A brand new P4 laptop

A Trip the Uk
or
Us

And a lovely female

Free keep her money in her pants i wonder how it got stolen

Hi everyone