₦airaland Forum

Amakavula:
read between the lines here with me Sis, he is assuming her to be some kind of innocent bystander to the sex rather than an active participant.

That she made some mistake, rather than something she wanted and did and will still do, religion or not.

She might love to do it again and again but not with him. As he clearly doesn't attract her enough to give him, hence why she was was liberal about it

Lol.... She has agreed to have sex with me next week without me even asking her out.



This was a girl i thought was pure and chaste.

But, I'm scared, have not done this b4.

If u need a place to stay for a while, contact me. Location is at Magboro, along Lagos/Ibadan express way, close to MFM camp.

Note: Its not free for either gender. 2 rooms available in a flat.

IceColdVeins:
Listen tight buddy,
Unless you act cognitively, the second case study can only yield three possible outcomes;
1.You decide to play the good guy by sponsoring her, thereby raising her staus quo to the next horizon, then she guardian-zones you, bleeps everybody else but you and spends the stipend on other 3-legged creatures.
2. You woo her, she rejects and exhibits utmost dissappointment, claiming she thought you were different and leaving you in desperation to redeem your image....then you start sponsoring her and ''outcome 1'' follows suit.
3. You take no action and lose the punanee to another contender.


Question, what do these outcomes all have in common?
Answer......................''YOU LOSE''

My advice is, since you seem to be the churchguy type, just state your intentions to her and if she rejects, you steer clear.

I like you, very blunt and straight to the point like a typical no 9 on the football pitch, no need to show boot, hit d target and get d ball at the back of the post.

Wish I could be like you.

Ehn ehn op now you are talking

However judging from your post you got it all mixed up

I'll tell you why?

Spending on a student and sending a girl who isn't your wife yet to school isn't an investment . Its charity work.

I have decided, if I get her a phone not more than 15k, that will be all for now. I am still trying to get on my feet.

anything can happen after four years. She will be more mature by then with better experience to choose and if she has no conscience, she would not waste time to discard you if a guy with better prospects comes along.

Very true, thats why I will only put in what I can afford to loose. In 4 years time too, she may not be appealing to me too.

Economically in Nigeria , the hairdresser is has more prospects.

She already makes money, knows how difficult it is saving and might still have bigger goals. Meanwhile the student still has the mentality that when she is done with school a job will be waiting for her. You know how naija is based on that assertion.

True, handwork or un-skilled personnel's are needed in this economy of ours. But, that's on the short run, on the long run, the skilled personnel's wins.

If you play your cards well the hairdresser can have her business and still go back to school part time . All this will be from her pocket. You may not spend a dime. All you'll have to do is encourage her.

I have tried, since last year as a friend, I did encourage her to at least enroll at the Open university since she can't afford to quit her work, she was too lazy about it. On the other hand, she says she doesn't have enough money to do that. Okay, come to Lagos and practice your skills, leave Ota, she said, she doesn't know anyone here, I even went as far as contacting a female friend who owns a saloon at festac, but distance is a problem. she works at C.U, whenever they are on break, she goes on break. Right now, she is on break for 3 months, pathetic!! That's valuable time and money wasting away.[/quote]

Theres a Lady on nairalanders who makes badass braided wigs she sells on the gram for as high as 20k or more
It depends on the marketing she doesn't need a shop

@wigmaniac_international check that out on Instagram.

Distance would still be the challenge, Ota is far from lagos. I've told her that she needs to move. But money is another challenge for her to move. that's y I am angry that she seems to be d only one here on earth. Don't know why her Father and Brothers would just abandon here.

If that girl is hardworking , you have a gem with you.

I suspect though that you are more in love with student and any advice we give here is of no use.

You can know a man in love when you observe where his money tilts towards.

I guess, I'm trying to be rational here, that's why i am titling towards the student. At the end, I may be wrong. That's d disadvantage of analysis.

generationz:
@op for the first case , it is quite difficult to judge based on the few things you said about her if she is girlfriend worthy or not. Usually , observations like this on nairaland are usually one sided and don't throw enough light on the personality involved

It is very posssible for a man or lady to stay celibate till marriage.
Maybe the person didn't know a thing or two like they know now. Some people decide to get closer to God ( I mean fasting and prayer) and decide to stay away from premarital sex till they marry. I know men who did this( you know men don't lie about this things ) so if a guy can do it women too can definitely.

However knowing whether she will be faithful to you or not is definitely up to you, we can't judge the situation because we don't know her heart and we are not prophets .

It would take a lot of trust , communication and commitment to keep the relationship especially during this internet age .


As for the second girl if you want to help her don't give her monthly stipends. It might go a long way but after a while it still won't be enough. Instead empower her and watch her.

Students can use as low as 10k to sell eggs,pure water, beverages, sanitary towel and other necessities within the hostels.

If she's tall enough she can work as an usher . School is the best place to start a business ,fail at it , horn your skills and be set for life.

Let me be very honest with you and everyone here.

I don't give a hoot, whether she is a virgin or not as long as its in her past. She is a very nice girl one who can be trusted.

However, my concern is with her Life goals, she is about 23, a hair dresser, her mum is late, her Dad is somewhere in Cotonou, her brothers are in Abeokuta, only her stays at Ota.

Right now, there is no plan for her to go to school, not even NCE or OND, she is fending for herself, which is very noble, but, I don't want to shoulder any heavy responsibility right now, If in d next 3 years, I want to settle down, where would she be career wise?

I don't want to use that as an excuse, so that she doesn't feel bad. So this sex thing can be my escape route. Tell her I can't be in a relationship without sex since she wants to abstain, then we all go our separate ways.

At least d Unilag girl has something going on for her. In 3 years time, she will be a graduate of Bio-Genetics, shes younger and smarter.

Even if we don't get to date, at least any investment on her (which wouldn't be high) would be worth it, to herself, her family and the society at large.

MJBOLT:

tell her one story about how you had bad investments or yahoo boys wiped your account,i'm sure she wont even bother you again

Don't know why it always feels like you write from the right to left.

I like it though. Its different and unique.

MariaLavina:
See as this one's brain dey roast on top girls matter .

If we check now, people like you have done far worse in d name of love.

MJBOLT:

all these girls are manipulating you,the second one will turn you to father christmas,

How do I cancel my earlier promise?

Josephilemona:
it's ok to assist, but don't expect anything in return else you get disappointed.

Thanks Bro.

Erediauwa:
Sister don see mumu.

Just like Buhari promised us in 2015 and 2019? That makes u a mumu.

In my case just like Buhari, I only promised.

2 Quick things.

1. I have been friends with this girl/lady since 2016, because of school, NYSC and distance we haven't seen that much, though we talk once in a while. I was supposed to officially ask her out this weekend, to kick start the relationship. So, I decided that we should talk about sex, because she never even by chance says anything sexual or romantic. I went first, that I have never had sex, though use to do the other stuff (I didn't let her know).

I asked about hers, I was shocked when she told me she lost her virginity @19 during her first relationship, I couldn't believe it, this is a girl that is always about church at Winners, always avoiding dirty topics. Went on to press if she was a committed xtain when this happened, she said yes. I wasn't convinced, so I asked her if d guy manipulated her to sleep with her, she said she gave it to him freely. I was flabbergasted, really!, I said to myself, this girl that I thought was "Virgin Mary" you can be dis liberal.

I didn't want to press any further because she was beginning to feel sorry and embarrassed. She went on to ask me if sex will be required in our relationship, that if I date her, will i request for sex, I asked her what she wants, she said she wants to keep herself till her weeding night, more like secondary abstinence. I didn't say anything. She quickly went offline, its 2 days now, her no has been switched off, she isnt online neither.

I'm wondering if I scared her. Sincerely, all these while, I thought she was a virgin and probably that's d reason I still maintained d frienship. But now, I'm having doubts. Ny the way, I'm not even interested in having sex with her.

2. I stayed with a family friend after my service early this year, in the house was this Unilag 100l girl staying with them. She is 19yrs old, I really liked her but didn't let her know. Her phone was so bad that I had to get one small phone for her worth 5k, her parents are actually not strong financially. I left the house in March and decided not to use my advantage to get d girl, so I stop communicating with her.

Recently, She contacted me, that it has been a long time, actually, I really like her and have missed her but wanted her to concentrate on her studies. She complained that d charging point of d phone I bought for her is faulty and that she is looking for any job she can while she schools.

In her own words, she said "I need money". So, we began talking, found out that her Dad gave her 10k a month and she needs 20k every month to meet her needs effectively. She is a young and beautiful girl, so I was scared what she can become if she falls in d wrong hand, I stylishly asked her if she has a BF, she said no. So, I went on to promise her that I will get a small 2nd hand phone for her soon, and that I will support her with 5k every month while she is in school.

Right now, I'm trying to see if she can't get a holiday job. At d same time, I'm thinking is this not a bad idea? Someone u are not dating, you want to buy her a phone and place her on a monthly stipends. At the same time, I like her and want to ask her out, but I'm thinking she is just interested in me helping her financially.

I don't feel like getting d phone again, especially since we are not dating and she remembered me because d old phone is bad.

But I like her though.

These 2 incidents happened consecutively.

The first one happened like Sunday, while d 2nd happened on Monday.

2 Quick things.

1. I have been friends with this girl/lady since 2016, because of school, NYSC and distance we haven't seen that much, though we talk once in a while. I was supposed to officially ask her out this weekend, to kick start the relationship. So, I decided that we should talk about sex, because she never even by chance says anything sexual or romantic. I went first, that I have never had sex, though use to do the other stuff (I didn't let her know).

I asked about hers, I was shocked when she told me she lost her virginity @19 during her first relationship, I couldn't believe it, this is a girl that is always about church at Winners, always avoiding dirty topics. Went on to press if she was a committed xtain when this happened, she said yes. I wasn't convinced, so I asked her if d guy manipulated her to sleep with her, she said she gave it to him freely. I was flabbergasted, really!, I said to myself, this girl that I thought was "Virgin Mary" you can be dis liberal.

I didn't want to press any further because she was beginning to feel sorry and embarrassed. She went on to ask me if sex will be required in our relationship, that if I date her, will i request for sex, I asked her what she wants, she said she wants to keep herself till her weeding night, more like secondary abstinence. I didn't say anything. She quickly went offline, its 2 days now, her no has been switched off, she isnt online neither.

I'm wondering if I scared her. Sincerely, all these while, I thought she was a virgin and probably that's d reason I still maintained d frienship. But now, I'm having doubts. Ny the way, I'm not even interested in having sex with her.

2. I stayed with a family friend after my service early this year, in the house was this Unilag 100l girl staying with them. She is 19yrs old, I really liked her but didn't let her know. Her phone was so bad that I had to get one small phone for her worth 5k, her parents are actually not strong financially. I left the house in March and decided not to use my advantage to get d girl, so I stop communicating with her.

Recently, She contacted me, that it has been a long time, actually, I really like her and have missed her but wanted her to concentrate on her studies. She complained that d charging point of d phone I bought for her is faulty and that she is looking for any job she can while she schools.

In her own words, she said "I need money". So, we began talking, found out that her Dad gave her 10k a month and she needs 20k every month to meet her needs effectively. She is a young and beautiful girl, so I was scared what she can become if she falls in d wrong hand, I stylishly asked her if she has a BF, she said no. So, I went on to promise her that I will get a small 2nd hand phone for her soon, and that I will support her with 5k every month while she is in school.

Right now, I'm trying to see if she can't get a holiday job. At d same time, I'm thinking is this not a bad idea? Someone u are not dating, you want to buy her a phone and place her on a monthly stipends. At the same time, I like her and want to ask her out, but I'm thinking she is just interested in me helping her financially.

I don't feel like getting d phone again, especially since we are not dating and she remembered me because d old phone is bad.

But I like her though.

These 2 incidents happened consecutively.

The first one happened like Sunday, while d 2nd happened on Monday.

Cc: Hardon
Ubunja

I agree.

Nasri100:
You have already made up your mind. Never seen a man so confused.

How am I confused Sir?

For the first time yesterday, we spoke about sex and found out that she isn't a virgin.

It broke my heart, she got dis-virgin at 19, we are supposed to meet on Saturday and officially kick off our relationship but I don't think I want to continue anymore.

She looked to good and is a dedicated member of Winners not to be a virgin.

I have not had sex though done d other stuff but I look forward to getting married to one.

freedomchild:
men are really polygamous in nature.. women shouldn't be bothered about such character but they should be worried about the protection of there men from stds and unwanted side pregnancies. Women can't stop men from cheating, after all the foundation of most recent marriages are based on selfish interests from both genders... No one can have it all. You can't get a rich, handsome, respectful and faithful man all to yourself. Life gifts us in one way and cheats us in some other ways

Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle.


The more precisely the position of an electron is determined, the less precisely the momentum is known, and vice versa.’

Think how this principle works in real life, how the uncertainty of life is with us every single moment.

Just as we begin to comprehend one part of our life, another is thrown into disarray.

Have you noticed that when you focus on work, family suffers, and vice versa?

Pls, my friend has paid for her call up letter, but she doesn't want to go for this current batch/stream. How can she defer?

Pls, my friend has paid for her call up letter, but she doesn't want to go for this current batch/stream. How can she defer?

monimekaz:
Guy I no joke ..I will rather not disturb anyone with my problem ..everyone get hin own

No now, that's too extreme. The World isn't too hard like that.

Today, I was short of N50, I politely asked one man who helped me to buy a brt ticket of N100.

Nigerians are actually nice people, they are always willing to help. I help a lot too, maybe thats y I am always confident of getting help anytime I reach out.

BlessedH:
Please drop your contact/number

If u are in Lagos, you can contact me. Have a recent biz plan conducted on the business.

monimekaz:
See guy! I have trekked from Oshodi to Iyana Ipaja to and fro for 20 days . This is not a farce or a sort of make up story. I would trek some times with empty stomach. I didnt die. Not that I cant beg for help but I am not just comfortable begging people for stuffs like this .Everyone get their own problem ,I no go like disturb others with mine. Call it pride or whatever but some of us would rather not beg for anything,that is how are brought up.I hope You understand my point . There is clear difference between soliciting for help and begging for it.They might be synonymous but there is a clear difference in semantics . Thank you.

you are joking right?

Even me wey like trekking pass anything and have been trekking for over 10 years can't try what u did.

Thats if u did it.

generationz:
Finding the right wife you say?

Someone who's wife left him after many years together

Be careful who you take advice from


It's OK for people to have opinions . That's what makes us humans

However when you meet a person who thinks he knows it all and never takes advice from anybody....

Be careful who you take advice from

If you think I'm lying go through the comment section of his topic.

Ok.

But if we can leave d messenger can stick to d message, can u fault him?

isn't he right?

The woman is to respect the man and the man is to love the woman.

Now, we can unearth the words "respect" and "love"

I don't know what happened to his previous marriage, it can happen to anyone afterall even siblings fight, quarrel and keep malice, its just d family blood that still keeps them together.

people staying in marriage doesn't mean that they are happy o, but doesn't mean any unhappiness is an opportunity to leave.

I don't know d details of his failed marriage as u said, but on this issue of "respect" and "love" I completely agree with him.

And don't you think that life experiences makes people wiser?

Maybe he is better for it.

Toks2008:
When i hear ladies rnt about loving a man and a man being faithful to them i just laugh at their reasoning...i call it misplaced priorities.

Yes ladies need to desire the man that will be their husbands but ladies have no business with loving any man...strange but true.

[b]The only thing that is required of a lady IS TO RESPECT THE MAN IN HER LIFE[/b] and focus on her life and that of the children if she starts having them.
1 Peter;3 ''Wives, respect and obey your husbands...''

Ephesians 5:22-33 ''Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Just get a responsible man to get married to and have kids with and forget about all this love and faithful man talks. As long as you have a guy you desire as your husband and he takes care of his kids and services you relatively well please face front and build your life and that of your kids.

The moment a woman begins to worry herself about whether her husband is faithful to her or carry love for head is the day her problem starts...cos philandering or multiple sex partners is not about a man's age...it is in their gene and any woman who hinges her marital happiness on her husband fidelity should be ready to be the best friend of sadness.

Gosh!! I never knew there are deep thinkers on Nairaland.

God bless you Sir, you are filled with so much wisdom, may that fountain never run dry.

You have a total understanding of the role women should play in a marriage. You will truly have a happy and long lasting marriage with your wisdom, knowledge and understanding.

I won't say more, than to thank you for sharing this. Now, I know that there are people on this site that are filled with so much wisdom. Have bben seeing a lot of rubbish of late, but, you are a proper man that has understanding and finding the right woman will be so easy for you.

Thumbs up Sir.

MissNicole01:
Good day my fellow Nairalanders.

I'm a young graduate. I have a B.Sc in Marketing.

For a while now I've been job hunting, but nothing has been forthcoming.
I'm considering going into business, while I still keep up the search for a job. I have N200k for start up but I don't know what to go into.

Please, your good advice will be appreciated.
Thanks.

Hi, i'm also in ur shoes. I have 200k looking for sth to do.

if u are in Lagos, we can meet and brainstorm together. 2 good heads are better than one.

I have a degree in Economics and a background in Business and Finance, so, going tru all d legal hurdles isn't new to me.

What do u think?

daddytime:
Now tell us my dear friend...

Was she a demon before she came into your house, if yes, why did you choose to mess with a demon and if no, my dear brother, she incorporated that demon from your house and her sacking hasn't demolished the original demon in your house so, don't be too quick to celebrate just yet.

Which multinational company you dey work for bros? The company wey dey do indomie noodles na multinational company and the people wey dey load carton of indomie put for truck na multinational company dem dey work for o.noni saying noni

Savage guy.

debsonpoint:
Please how can I submit my credentials to ICAN Office, I don't want to take it to Lagos by myself, I would have send it as a mail to a friend but I was told, they request for colored passport photograph.

Any Help Please

Where do u stay?

I'm tired!!

Life is so exhausting.

Can't pretend to be strong anymore

Easybela:
whoever paid the pride price matters not,men will always be men and the head. RESPECT THEM!!!

Besides women who give men money to pay bride price always do it desperately, they want to get married by all means and if u think u can rub the man off his position by doing so,you are joking. The earlier women begins to learn how to be under men, the better 4 them.

God bless u for this.

Preshy561:
What do You mean? Without a woman in your life you can't feed yourself and cook for yourself?
You are really funny, you and your dad watched your mum grunt in pains after coming back from work, you guys still allow her cook and serve you lots?

Are you wicked like that? Oh, it's your mum's fault anyway, she did a bad work petting and raising a lazy boy like you.

It's your wife I pity, she's gonna be treated the way you and your dad treated your mum.

Its not like that o!

It wasnt like a duty to her, lets say that she loved cooking and did it with so much joy. Because sometimes I will tell her not to bother but she will always insist, she still calls asking of how me and my younger bro feed. She believes so much in feeding d men so well that they can grow tall and have strength to work. And work, I did, thanks to her meals.

I also cook, but I dont like it, its easier for me to trek from Lagos to Abj than to cook. Its not like I dont know how to, but I dont like to.

Come to think of it, I said earlier that I dont like wahala thats y I am taking this route, if my wife doesnt like cooking we will find an alternative. I'm not going to force it down her throat.

I am not lazy, I just dont like cooking, thats all.