₦airaland Forum

belovekiss: i want to travel to the Uk..but the the agent doing my papaer says my age is too small.
i am 24 years old.

I will your thread to travel section. You should get more than enough info over there. I suggest you browse the section for all the answers you seek cos its a very resourceful section that has helped a lot of peeps travel out.

OAM4J: I can also assure you that if she also drop her email and phone number here, more than 1000 mails, calls and txt msgs will roll in before the end of the day from guys promising her heaven and earth to be her husband.

The problem with both of them is not about finding "toasters", it is about finding their soul-mates.

OAM4J: I agree she made a mistake saying "Yes" to his proposal without thinking it through. But she will be making a bigger mistake, worse for her and the guy if she goes ahead and say "I do". They can both overcome this mistake now than overcoming a bad contracted marriage.

No comment! I guess we have all addressed everything that needs to be addressed from all angles.

OAM4J: Haba!

So cos she is unmarried at 30 means she has been choosy and playing chess game with men? Did you get all these from her posts? Do you know her history with men? do you know if she was jilted/played/disappointed by the one she trusted and looked up to for marriage before now?

And because she is 30 she should be desperate for marriage and marry just any man available even though she doesn't love him? And if she doesn't marry this banker now, she will only be left with photographer? O ga o! BTW, what is wrong with photographers? You just advised its not good to be choosy!

I think you are too judgmental on her.

I wasn't being judgemental with her. I made my comment based on reading her entire post on this thread. Many 32 yrs old women have come with the same problem in the past and I wasn't harsh. I admit, what got to me was the fact that she said "yes" already and wanted to breach that contract like she was indecisive & playing with the man's emotion. These are the kind of things we women frown against from men but dishing it out to a man is unfair.

I see where most posters are coming from though, her happiness is the ultimate & the guy should be saved from the misery of a marriage without love. She should not have said "yes!". Eh ya, I pity the guy! It's all good!

ileobatojo: To elaborate, I will quote Sisikill.

"I think the guy would rather be heartbroken now and free to move on to someone who loves him than to be stuck in a marriage with someone who doesn't love him. If she truly loved him, she won't be nitpicking on the most minutia of all issues like wash and set money and it is bound to get worse once they are married because no matter what he does, he won't please her. Why should he be miserable because of her? Yep, I don't think it is fair for him to pay for the consequences of her actions. . . I don't!"

Ok!

Before I take my leave- Op lets do an experiment, drop the man's email address & phone number here. You would be amazed at the number of babes that would contact him or even pay him a visit to mend his heart. You know so many peeps view nl, dem go bombard am forget the whole ranting & talk talk. This only shows scarcity and that you don't appreciate what you've got.

We can all argue back and forth on this but you are the one who knows where the shoe hurts,
you know your strengths, limit & weakness, you know what & who you are capable of attracting and
you know what is really up so use your head! Best wishes in whatever u decide. Adios!

ileobatojo: You would like her to correct her first mistake with another?

What do u mean? elaborate!

mirob: Because she is 30 she no longer has a choice in d kind of man she wants †̥☹ marry, right? @poster pls ignore some comments here, a responsible man no matter how small he earns would want to show †ђξ girlfriend let alone fiancee that he is capable of taking care of her so if he is not doing that, pls, it is time for you to have a rethink cos it is better †̥☹ be single and happy than married and miserable, your own husband will definitely locate you.

Ok lets ignore the 30 part.

Everyone is bothered about her desires. Have u stopped to think from the guys perspective? She said "yes" to him for crying out loud! Saying "no" now would only hurt that man and she might pay for that. Infact saying "no" would mean men should never be empathetic & compassionate to women cos they are "confused" lots. Now I see there is no disparity between men and women. Men are just transparent with their evil doings. If the man was ur brother or son, would u subscribe to her changing her decision? How inhuman can we be? If I am an employer, I can't employ such a fickle minded woman!

[quote author=Sisi_Kill]Dude that's a topic for another day.



So are you saying go ahead and marry the guy. . .even though she doesn't love him and she isn't sexually attracted to him?

How is that fair to the guy?[/quote]Was she high on acid when she accepted the proposal? Peeps should learn to bear the consequences of their actions. Why do they always wait till the very end to consult nl? When she was proposed to, she should have thought it through. No one says "yes" if the man is not worthy. The reason y she is backing off is becos of the man's financial disposition. All these love, sex etc is just a camouflage. Didn't she consider that before saying "YES" to him. I am not asking anyone to force love but dnt toil arnd by raising hopes only to shatter it later.

[quote author=jarkatá]If those guys are not forth coming u better stick to dat guy u get,a lot of ladies don't have atal ,he even ask u 4 marriage,u r lucky and ur luck will not pass u by.think about it cogently to start another relationship.there is no perfect man anywhere,every guy have their own barrier or 'sole of achille' wot if he does not have a job.just try and make ur perfection out of him,allow ur love and feeling to grow geometrically,don't be besieged by those guys u r felling for,dey will chop u and dump u: let ur felling towards him be aroused,i can tell u some steps to take to achieve dis.[/quote]I like your response.

She has already said "yes" to the guy. She should have thought it over or asked nl before the deed was done.

Saying "No" now, makes her look unserious and going back on her words. Do you think another guy would be comfortable with a woman who called off her engagement? The man didn't beat her, cheat on her or insult her so what justifiable reason would she give for leaving a man who found her worthy at 30 to be his wife? That he is not financially ok or not a spender? Do you think another man would stay with her? Or run off? The op is likely to meet men that would use her & dump her for this act. She has made a promise/commitment(saying yes), so she she should be woman enough to fulfill it. All she need do is look for a way to adjust what she has with the guy to her favour & want.

All these nl babes sef that like forming "hard, tough or strong" chicks who only dig & collect money & gifts. All na wash, it would shock you that they do the spending. Any babe that is well payed up from guys dnt need to announce it every second of the day in their post. Most don't even have what it takes or the mind! Too much mouth and e-guts from faceless chicks. Abegii babes wey sabi love die and can act stupidly for it.

bebe4u: My virtual friends, i am posting this because i ant to share the burden i have in my life right now and i seek for honest answer and advice in which ever way. please keep it polite anyone could be in a similar situation and we could all learn from it at the end of the day.

I am 30years of age female working in the oil & gas sector and very comfortable financially. How ever i have been in a platonic relationship with a guy who is currently working in a bank but i am better off financially. He never hid his intention that he loves me and would want to take things to the next level but i have always maintain my stand of us not rushing things while trying to sort out my real feelings for him. He asked me to marry him recently and i accepted. The burden i have in my heart now is 1- I am not in love with him and also not sexually attracted to him. By that i mean im not crazily in love but i like him as a friend. 2- I have concerns about our financial obligation in the sense that i fear he might not provide for me the way a husband should for is wife. i am a traditional person where i believe a man should always provide for his wife no matter how small, im willing to support him but through the three years we have been friends he hasnt provided in the least of money for my salon session. i feel he is just taking advantage of the fact that i can afford it, so i feel differently. He currently lives with his family and younger brother. i talked to him one day and said he should get a house of his own but till date he hasnt and havent made any real effort at that yet he talks about facilitating meeting my parents et al. Question is what are the pros and cons of going ahead to marry this young man or should i just call it off as i have been tempted to several times. BTW he is 35yrs of age, has been working in the bank for 6 yrs as an employee. As we all know the presure young ladies face in the society about being single by 30years. Please respond with your candid advice. i will appreciate while i keep praying as most of you will end up saying to me. Thank you.

This marriage thing sef!

May I ask what you have been doing since in terms of settling down? I mean why did you wait this long? 30 years is old! I see you as a woman who is very choosy, has high expectations in a man, not considerate & unrealistic.

I just have an advise for you though, make sure whatever you are getting into you have peace of mind & happiness. Forget attraction, finance or love for the man in question or do you have other options? Do you have men of your "taste" flocking around you or proposing to you? If u don't have a better option, then you have no choice! Bother about his love, xter/attitude, morals, way of life & commitment towards you.

Take it from me, 2 or 5 years from now, its a photographer that would be on your case. This thing is like a cycle, its keeps getting worse and not better. When you were in your peak period, I am sure you played the game of chess with a lot of men's emotions because you were choosy. Life is what it is, you have to make do with what you have. Remember beautiful ones are not yet born, take a field trip to unilag(land of plenty), Covenant Uni(land of innocent beauties), to the north(natural beauties)...You would be amazed at the attractive babes with good xter. Men would rather go for those ones before your age bracket. Even mid twenties babes can testify to that. The first thing that comes to mind is that, a 30 years old unmarried/single woman was probably promiscuous, lost her womb, committed several abortions and slept her way to success. Do you know how many people would have cautioned him to leave you for a younger woman? Or you think cos he is 35, he is in the same boat as you?

Better don't let these married women tell you to leave the man. The world only identify with success! When the hard time comes, no one would stand by you instead its insults you would get and these same people asking you to say NO would insult you for not grabbing the opportunity. You are meant to be having a matured conversation with the man, let him know how you feel about him not contributing his quota financially. Try and come to a compromise with him on a realistic level. Thank God you are rich, you no even happy sey na banker u go show off to family & friends at 30. If na office clerk wetin u for do? Just make the best out of whatever situation you get urself into, its your destiny! Even you can't re-write it, you can at least shape/mold it to your benefit. ABOVE ALL, PRAY PRAY PRAY FOR GOD'S WISDOM & GUIDANCE(He would make everything fine).

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Play a backtracked Dagrin's kondo record for her. She should get the message!