₦airaland Forum

Yes oh. Make I talk my own. I get 2 tori but this one dey come my mind anytime I hear the 6-lettered word p.o.l.i.c.e.



I hated going to church. Infact I had not gone to church since I gained admission and I insulted most MOG and my church-going friends/colleagues. It was on a friday, october 1st, 2010. Was in my 2nd semester of my 2nd year as an undergraduate. I decided to reach boys hostel(our boys hostel is off camp and I also base off camp) to get my already charged reading lamp and study. See yawah oh. Na about some minutes to 11pm and me jst put indomie 4 fire come dey go hostel wey be like 600m away. I dey waka my own, 3 other guys dey the other side of d road dey smoke(dat one no concern me). Like 2mins later, one pick up begin dey race down. . . 'Hold them, hold them, hold them'. As these 3 guys run, me kukuma join them dey follow them. By my calculation, dem go enta bush but e no occur 2 me sey na dia area be that. I enta bush and in no time, only Baba J sabi where these 3 guys disappear go hide but these police fools sabi say person enta bush(me). Na so dem come back, stand for my front. The next thing I go hear na "shoot the animal". My mum dey sss so I dey used to the intimidatiom. My belief be say bullet no dey the gun. Omo, as one of the MIB(men in black) co.c.k the gun, I sharp sharp grab say bullet dey am 'cos if dem co.c.k gun wey bullet (no) dey, I go sabi. Omo, I fear oh. As I c.om.e see moonlight reflect d gun, d gun dey point my face, see fear. I jst use speed push the gun up. As the gun dey move up, the thing sound .







The thing hot. I begin grow goose pimples, my leg dey shake, I co.m.e piss 4 trouser. Wetin vex me 4 that piss be say I been jst piss correct piss and the piss wey I piss for trouser na piss wey I for piss the next day. My voice begin dey tremble. . . "yes! That is the criminal. . . Where is the gun? . . . Where is the iegbo?". I started begging them. Chei! I neva beg like that before 4 my life. I don already see myself 4 hell. I been wan repent there but fear nor gree me. I tell them ma full name, my dept., matric number, my hod name, my dept'al presido name, all my lecturers name, . . . Dem search me, sit me down for middle of road, eagle-spread my leg like common criminal with piss trouser. Dem go back that bush dey find gun and iegbo(which gun again). Na so one of them talk say make dem kill me say dem nor fit go empty handed. Your father yansh! I hold d gun dey beg them say na hostel I dey go say na read I been dey read. "leave this gun now. I go damage your face oh". for my mind, I dey tell am say "re-structure my face instead. This bullet no go touch me". After them don search me finish. One of them co.me tell me say make I open my bag. Na 2 advanced engineering maths textbook(ka stroud & hk dass) with one notebook there. My guy co.me open d note like say him sabi anything there. As my guy see wicked maths wey I don solve, him co.me tell d remaining 3 guys "leave the lunatic". Dem co.me drive comot.





I was still on the ground with my legs spread with disbelief. I got up, sprinted home. Wasn't interested in reading that night. As I reached home, I touched the flowers, walls, doors just to be sure I was still alive. I couldn't believe it. Indomie sef don burn(who cares?). I just 'shut down' the stove, wash the pot, took my bath, washed the already dirty smelling trouser. It was already few mins to 12am. Went back to sleep.






2 days later, I found myself in a church . . .

friend of a bastard:
A fred of mine who recently got married told me how disapointed he is in his wife afta first intimacy. Acodi 2 him,one of his major priority 4 marry her was bc she claim 2 b virgin bt was shock as there was no sign of blood flow frm a broken hymen though she was very tight.and d wife stil insist dat she was a virgin. D question now is can a lady b deflower without any sign of blood. Me i don't know, so pls house, especialy d lady share ur candid opinion.no joke.is a serious case as ur candid opinion could save dat mariage.

if your friend's only worry be say him wife no be virgin, then him na fool. Him be virgin? People dey think beta thing, him na virginity claim him dey find. Shey virgin = attitude? So the only reason you cow shit cranium oriented friend married her was because she was a virgin. Now I know why many men complain about their wives/girl friends. Orisirisi

friend of a bastard:
A fred of mine who recently got married told me how disapointed he is in his wife afta first intimacy. Acodi 2 him,one of his major priority 4 marry her was bc she claim 2 b virgin bt was shock as there was no sign of blood flow frm a broken hymen though she was very tight.and d wife stil insist dat she was a virgin. D question now is can a lady b deflower without any sign of blood. Me i don't know, so pls house, especialy d lady share ur candid opinion.no joke.is a serious case as ur candid opinion could save dat mariage.

;->;->

TisaBone: What about the story written by Seun's girlfriend? What about the travails of a male secretary? you just don't want to read it because it's not nasty. but just give it a chance....i'm going to turn the heat WAYYYYYY up. . . let me pace myself. and when your eyes read, and your mind orgasms, you'll never again question my prowess in weaving a story, nor my literary talents.

i swaar, you dey madt

cugresources: Good advice from bennyraz, take his word, play around and be wise while u do, and remember, u need a good check book to succeed in being a footballer in this aspect, goodluck!

after my 1st 2 break ups, i decided 2 upgrade my game by bringing in the brutal psychological factor. Guy, believe me, it works perfectly. Na who dey do love? Omo, if I recognize a potential bad gul, na chop and clean mouth oh. The sweet thing be say dem nor go see my wallet.

bennyraz: Notin bad if u pay 4 a date.. Just watch it. Some Nigerian men might nt like u doing it all d time. And if not careful abt hw u go abt it in Nigeria, some men might decide not to keep u as a wife cuz some men might think if they get married to u, u might be the one running the home.

2 words - L.A.M.E. A.N.A.L.Y.S.I.S.

willsman: I am interested in any Sugar mummy here and money is not the main key. Reach me on 0803 515 85 61 or williamsmike90@yahoo.com.

focus on your post utme first. Gameless gamelessness niggar.

bennyraz: Notin bad if u pay 4 a date.. Just watch it. Some Nigerian men might nt like u doing it all d time. And if not careful abt hw u go abt it in Nigeria, some men might decide not to keep u as a wife cuz some men might think if they get married to u, u might be the one running the home.

2 words - L.A.M.E. A.N.A.L.Y.S.I.S.

cugresources: Because of his kind of job, talking of my boss, threatening people has become part of him, and again I and his doctor are working on making him reduce his intake of white substances. his address is no secret, people know him too well and many here must have visited there once or twice for one thing or the other, so don't let that border you guys. Dr. Koka

i swaaaar, you are madt

dipo+:
God bless you o, omo iya. The moment I saw the starting line-up I just cursed Wenger for intentionally gifting QPR that game.
And we played with that fluidity, energy and urgency that's beyond Ramsey's ability. I won't even go into the Ramsey miss - [color=#419419]RvP's reaction says it all.[/color]

Balotelli should just be sold off before he destroy people's careers with his idiotic boot-raising tackles. He was brandishing studs for fun.

Koscielny got another red today. Seems he will miss two games or so . My best arsenal player

Djourou anybody?

brother, RVP10 too far. AOC15 was mad at the miss. Well, thank God he didn't score. Maybe john atta mills or kirk franklin would have died :-D:-D

But @Mr.Killz, how come you are replying that orangutan?

Girl, i wan dey Zap you.

I thought chelsh!t, by now, would be praying for 5pur2 downfall. Praying for #AFC to lose the 3rd spot is like praying for the devil to defeat Jesus.

Last season at the emirates, man city had no shot on target. Same thing today. Abu Dhabi, cash != class. Your money can't buy class. We don't have the oil money. We have soccer. Our class is permanent.

cugresources: your fiancee is a greedy, cheap, unsatisfiable girl. any girl that love flashy things- BB latest, i-pad, laptop (latest), cars, hair, clothes, wears, luxury, money, etc, cannot make a good wife, such girls are supposed to be singles for live, but here in Nigeria men make mistakes of taking them to the altar with the hope that they will turn Mary thereafter, LIES! If we men decide to culture Nigerian girls by making them understand certain things, they will change, but we aid them to live useless lives. your fiancee is the type of girls that ought to remain single for live, so make your decision wisely so you don't regret. and such girls always want marriage and commitment as a hiding place, don't give em, cos they just want to use it to brag to their fellow ashis and competitors that shebi una done see say I still married after all my wakawaka, a man found me worthy to be his wife, so to hell with all of u. thats why most Nigerian girls marry not necessarily out of love for their fiancee or passion for family life. most again marry to run away from poverty, to hide their shabby character, etc, etc....most do not marry for genuine reasons. so be careful, she acted like one of the numerous whores in Nigeria, which is actually 80 - 89% of Nigerian girls, she seems to be among, look for the remaining 11%, u can find them if u desire, no woman is so special, what u find in one, u can find in thousands!! don't build your whole life around one girl, be a man with wisdom!! Again remember, u only knew about three men, you never knew the real no, they might be up to six or more, I know girls like your fiancee, I come across them daily, they always claim they got fiancee, but still want a fling to get this and that their fiancee cannot provide. and the uselss part of it, she might not be using the laptop to do important things besides watching Hollywood & Nollywood films thats spoiling them all. she might not even know how to use MSword, Excel, Powerpoint, yet she risked her asss to obtain something she don't need. again, she might not be usin the ipad for anything serious besides watching films too and for show-off, these girls are just focus-less, use your sense, like a poster said, u need no advice here. as for the guy talking about corpers he bleeeped, sure majority do that, but not all...its just like that- Nigerian girls are just like that, but still good ones exist, very very few, look for them, so they can be glad they remained good girls, but instead we men will abandon them and go for the bad girls, so that the good girls will be left wondering why they remained good, we need to make them feel happy that they are good by not going far with the bad girls, I hope u guys got me right? goodluck!

this is one of the best post I've read in this section, coupled with the bolded part. God will continually bless you. May you well of wisdom, understanding and knowledge never dry up.

Scash: Constructive criticism pls! Must u insult? She asked for ur advice not for u to tear her apart with ur tongue lashing...

Op, wat u did was childish. Guys are animals and no matter how much dey say dey love us we shd always av it in d back of our mind dt dey r liars n dey'd do anythin for s.ex.

Do u av a job? Are u still a student? How old are you?

If therz u av a stanby means of makin money, forget about d guy, tell ur mum...she myt be mad n dissapointed but she wont kill u, av ur baby and start a new life never to make d same mistake again.

If u dont av a means of a steady income, forget about d guy n still tell ur mum. She'd know d best to do.

Aborting should not be an option.

adiok ono fi. Atebe itid

Give her a very good ORACLE 11g, CISCO, PMP or JAVA textbook.

Goldieluks: Goat, fowl, cow feet and duck with roasted pounded yam.
You likey?

you nor like lion yansh?

born2fuck: You will let all the unmarried nairaland ladies ruin your relationship for you, your boyfriend maybe jealous cause he love you and he is protecting you for his future interest,if he doesn't care about you, he will not watch over you

this guy logic na arabic. From right to left. Why can't his girl also look after him?

kunle fox: I will make up this list based on my perception about these users in their contributions to this forum,you could tell they are smart and sure should be hot too...
-InkedNerd
-Onila
-queensmith
I know there should other users i haven't figured out yet..and
Sometimes i get some good vibe from slimyem

@bolded, . . . Guy, free my wife oh. I get hot temper.

anonymus11_1: this picture resemble a gay albino dt is calamine lotion model. e be like he is a member of nl. una feel im make sense? can u date dis man. women use ya church mind and access dis sexy guy.

lol @ pix. @anonymus11, abeg forgive the guy.

martyns303: Rotiaku= my bread, lolz

rokiatu = rock for face.

djeezy: I was angry when i recharged 400 mtn recharge card last night. When i tried to send an sms, i was told sending failed. When i checked my account it was now 0.00. I didn't make any call after i loaded it. It really vexed me and i called their customer service attendant and He told me that every thing will be sorted out and my credit pushed back to me and how they were truly sorry for the incovenience. What actually irked me was the ''Thank you for choosing mtn''. From yesterday till pro tem they've not done anything about it. To sum it up, INCOMPETENCE!!

laff don kill me today.

Chimezie, you dey mad. Muu che che che che che che.

Flashaldrin: Op, what was your jamb score??
Dont you think you should start on time to process your admission ??

he scored 419

My own tory no be here. I turn slave unto kissing. I nor fit type am now.

Crazy girl like the one who shattered the screen of my pc because she wanted to try a new skill in bed.

Make una dey talk una own. Me no fit date any girl wey dey after my pocket again. Lae lae. Guys, make una cut una coat according to una size nah. You go see babe wey hold bbPorsche, iPad3, iPhone, tablet, . . . dey fix brazillian. Na that kain babe go be woman of your dreams. So una think sey na when she dey speak in tongues wey all those gadget appear? Abeg, make una dey original abeg. Why una dey inflate una virtual ego?

Laila Ikeji: plz guys, lets b realistic here. nobody eats love for bfast, lunch, or dinner.
love, fine boyness cant pay your hospital bills. it wnt evn take you to VI in a comfy AC car on a hot scorching afternoon, mbok.
money cant buy you happiness but it can make u happy.
we need that cash abeg. no woman should settle for a hopeless lazy dreamer all in the name of love.
we can pardon prospective HARDWORKING men. we will stay wt u faithfully cos we kno ur future is bright n u r putting in efforts to make our dreams come true.
if u b story story guy, abeg me am walking

are you handicapped? Why you no fit make your own money? For the 1st time, you disappoint me.

deshclones: How e take concern us

WHOEVER NAMED YOU CO[b]ND[/b]OM SHOULD BE SHOT......

?

So no girl will mention [size=48pt]Mr. Ibu[/size]. Huh?