₦airaland Forum

yemi1504:
Exactly! Just as others said, the children must never be with him, they will suffer! She can take the custody rights of the children to court and with evidence of his gambling addiction, she is highly likely to get custody of her children.

Suffer how? Won't she be keeping tabs on them?
Besides, OP is not telling the whole story. No man who cares only about gambling and nothing about his children, will offer to be with same children

slimmax:
Men… for peace of mind, once you cant provide tell the woman to go. End of long tory

Right... but easier said than done. Who'd pay the bills and help with the kids?

EndRape2:
Can't you see the man is not ready to support with domestic chores , if a woman is providing the man should be able to help.
When the man is the one providing , the woman , will cook, clean house , wash, take care of children carry pregnancy, take kids to school, but you see men a woman will provide and you still expect her to do all domestic work.

This is as simple as A BC

Even in instances where the husband became a perfect "wife" it still didn't work out.
Women simply resent being breadwinner, no matter if the man became a perfect "wife". They become insultive, bossy, and constantly complaining

arantess:
See long story ontop woman wey kill Samson
Anyway, interested persons should take note

Well, the OP wrote a very, very, VERY long story

HaneefahRN:
Are men expected to do all the house chores, get pregnant, nurse and care for the children while providing for the home too?

But unfortunate things could happen entirely beyond his control. No matter the reason, the wife will still resent being breadwinner and become insultive and bossy. Why?

Kobojunkie:
●■That is commonsense since the woman signed up to be responsible for the home and raising of kids in most cases, while the man's almost sole duty is to be provider to the family. What sane woman would be happy to bear her share of the burden along the man's?

You have a point. But unfortunate things could happen entirely beyond his control. No matter the reason, the wife will still resent being breadwinner and become insultive and bossy. Why?

Kingosytex:
Why not tell her to be on her own and at least feed herself since the man has accepted to be with the children? Must she hook up with a man? Can't she feed herself? 😂

She said she's broke and straggling. Why can't one of her possible options be to try to get a rich guy? She could get lucky

maasoap:
How is he going to take care of the kids' needs? Can he even be there for them physically everyday? Those kids will suffer!

She'll be keeping tabs on him - from a distance

Solsix:
Only a handful of them can without making noise about it

Almost none can. Some will try to hide the resentment, but it'll still show in various little ways

Brunicekid:
A man should be able to provide for his wife, the Bible says so. This doesn't negate the fact that women can support.

And suppose(God forbid) a good, hard-working man were framed and jailed and loses his business. When he gets out his wife is automatically the bread winner.
What then?

samsard:
I'm a man and I won't support my sister to remain in a marriage where the husband is addicted to gambling and can't get his act together. Ideally the woman should be contributing to the home, not taking up everything when the man is not sick or temporarily incapacited.

You have a point

FuckTheMod:
But why would a reasonable man feel comfortable to allow his woman be the bread winner?
The least a reasonable man can do is provide shelter, food and clothing.
As a man, I'll never even feel alive if my woman is the bread winner, unless I'm just incapacitated by health or physical problems. E no make sense na

All sorts of unfortunate things could happen (God forbid). Suppose a good, hard-working man were framed and jailed and loses his business. When he gets out his wife is automatically the bread winner

ysgs:
. It's better than Viagra. This one is for correction to correct the abnormalities in the body. That's why you use it for two weeks before you can stop it. Once it's in the body. It start working. It's a cure

Sounds like a touch to me. Scamitous scamology

FitCorper:
1)I’m always busy, I don’t give myself idle time, either I’m reading a book or bible.
2)I don’t view sexual contents on YouTube only Apostle Joshua Selma’s
3)I respect my body
Then the Oga patapata of them all is that I fear God.

Good, and not so hard - as long as you stay that way for life.

AlaafinOfOyo:
This is a very satanic advice. As in, you're advising a Christian to divorce and start dating (adultery) so that she'll burn in hell?
To the OP, do not despair. You've already made a mistake of marrying blindly but God is a God of a second chance. I advise you to carry your burden but if you must give up, you must remain unmarried. I advise you not give up because of your husband's habits. It's not easy but don't think it'll get easier if you leave. You'll only expose yourself and your children to wolves out there. Focus on making the marriage work. That's the cross you have to carry for now. Since he's not physically abusive, keep praying for him. There's nothing God cannot do.

Carefully read her OP.
My advice is based on the real world as it is, with imperfect humans. Not some utopian world in your head where divorced women never remarry!

Chibuzoripob:
No oo.Such a idiot fellow can't train his son.A goat that follow 🐕 will eat faeces . He won't care if the boy go to sch/eat as long as he satisfied his gambling huge & lifestyle.,nothing mata to him again

She'll be keeping an eye on him - from a distance

Ofunaofu:
When they are the bread winner, the marriage is not working... but when the man is the bread winner the marriage is working

You said it all

AngelicBeing:
Muchecheche, you cracked me up with the last 3sentences of your post, marketable in the dating scene, like seriously

Just being blunt. She could be surprised to find she's quite sought after

kcdendelo:
what sort of stupid advice is this?

How is it stupid advice. She's broke and struggling. What's wrong with her trying her luck at possibly meeting/dating/marrying a rich guy?

Prettycute90:
So, in your context, being broke is a yardstick for relationship? Not same with my opinion.
I'm broke and struggling. All I need is how to stand on my feet not a relationship or dating as you advised.

It's all part of it. Possibly dating/marrying a rich guy can be one of many possible ways out of broke and struggling

Fountainofyouth:
So we are hypergamous enough to be the bread winner abi? Are we wired to do multiple jobs while the man does nothing? And what makes a man the wife? Being a house husband since he's not the breadwinner of his family?

Hypergamous means they want/need someone higher than them (in all ways). You don't seem to know the meaning

Prettycute90:
So, in your context, being broke is a yardstick for relationship? Not same with my opinion.
I'm broke and struggling. All I need is how to stand on my feet not a relationship or dating as you advised.

Suppose you're able to hook a rich older gentleman?Broke problem solved!

Saintmary:
Only a gigolo ever expects any married woman to provide.

Live within your means.

Unfortunate happenings may bring that about. No matter the reason for it, it rarely works out

Fountainofyouth:
Did she mention in her write up that she's looking for another man?

She obviously implied it. Everything doesn't have to be spelled out

Rechargeam247:
A man who can't provide for his household is worse than an infidel.
You expect the woman who is naturally not a provider to take over the man's responsibility and still function as the woman.

How many men have you seen do it

I don't blame the women. I wonder why men don't resent being sole provider of their family, no matter how poor they are

Fountainofyouth:
It never works because the man will not switch roles and become a full time house husband who cooks, clean, and takes care of the kids, instead he expects the wife to provide and do everything while he sits his lazy ass doing nothing, the typical Nigerian man stupidity.

Nope, it doesn't work because women are fundamentally hypergamous. They are not wired to enjoy being banged by a man that's essentially a wife

Fountainofyouth:
You cant be this slow na, you mean with all you read, this is what you could come up with? In your mind any woman that leaves her husband will automatically need another man? How old are you?

No, how old are YOU?? Why can't she try her luck - you never know who she might meet. She definitely could use some help, being broke and all

Prettycute90:
Dating another man or hook up is the least of my worries now.

You will need companionship and a helper - especially as you're broke. Nothing wrong with trying your luck - you never know

Prettycute90:
You mean being a breadwinner where he stays like a baby to be fed?
Aside marriage, If he were to be your brother, can you be his breadwinner for many years why he stays idle and gambling?

But men do it all the time. I understand though - it's very hard to perform the man's role all day and still be expected to enjoy being the woman to your "wife" husband in the bedroom!

eniolorunfe:
no time to check time🤣😂

Women RESENT being breadwinner. It almost never works out

Since he offered to be with the children, let him. While helping from a distance, sort yourself out and also find out how marketable you are in the dating scene - maybe you'll hook a better guy