All I see are clouds and outsized CWO women.

Nairalanders and their wanton indulgence of ridiculous counter-factuals.

The real question is, why would my wife slap my mother in the first place? Surely such an occurence is not outside the realm of possibility (nothing that borders on human relations ever is), but it's definitely highly improbable.

KunkAcid:

Modified:

If a woman slaps my mother she will be murdered with invisible slaps!

No detective in the world can crack such a case and no court of law will admit such a case.

This is the best part I love being an African.
I will be back when it hits FP.
Thanks for your unique understanding!

The best part you love about being an African is because being African gives you the chance to commit murder with impunity?

Acidosis:


You're an embarrassment to humanity. I know shamelessness is one of your good qualities but please learn to comport yourself, at least, on Sabbath.

Someone would be an embarassment to humanity only if humanity had the need to protect its integrity. Who is humanity trying to impress? Plants? Animals? Aliens? Non-existent deities?

Sabbath is on Saturday, not Sunday. Does your theology need help?

Jibby, jiggy, jibber, jagger. Sorry. I don't speak the language of apes, nor do I wish to communicate with apes. Now go eat a banana or whatever it is that your people do.

I still don't understand how choosing to wear either a bikini or a burkini becomes a debate of morality.

Cultural stupidity is why.

EfemenaXY:


Acid. That's a very childish thing to write.

A good marriage built on a solid foundation promotes "oneness" between husband and wife. That means working TOGETHER in partnerships for the benefit of the family unit.

It shouldn't matter who earns more or less as they aren't in competition with each other (over what?)

Yes, money does make life easier, but it isn't the be-all-and-end-all of the union. TRUST ranks higher than money. And genuine LOVE. Otherwise that union will forever be strife with problems and may not stand the test of time.

That guy you quoted is probably the dumbest person on this section. He's so dumb that it hurts. (I'm almost forced to sympathize with Francis Galton's eugenics campaign). He must have an IQ of 20 digits. The way he processes the world around him is similar to the way a primitive animal in the wild would. I'm surprised he hasn't yet quoted a bible passage (which is no different from quoting a page from Harry Potter) to justify the archaic and utter nonsense he's wont to write.

obiorathesubtle:

Andre gomes played well, if he didn't play well, we wouldn't have so much possession, it's unfortunate we bought a tuna for the price of a shark.


The pressure is too much on him..

He's an average player who's playing the best he can..


Suarez has found his form but was annoying at times..
Messi looked tired..
Iniesta did well..
Jordi alba has started his season madness..

Rakitic was the worst today..

Are you sure you watched the game with your eyes open? Rakitic was the worst? Andre Gomes played well and it was because he played so well that we had possession?

98% of Gomes' passes were back passes. He was sluggish for most of the time and gave misplaced passes more than any other player on the pitch. I really don't think you know how to critically watch a football match.

This tactically inept coach just cost us 3 solid points. Andre Gomes is not even fit to play for Isheri-Ikosi Community Club, and yet he not just starts, he also plays the full 90 minutes in a high-profile game (one in which he looked like a spastic fish out of water), while Denis Suarez who has been outstanding as of recent was benched.

Just look at the disgusting substitutions that Valverde made. Whoever thought this docile-looking idïot would make a good coach? He doesn't even have a personality. No charisma, no brain, no nothing. I wonder too why these coaches like to make changes only when the game is nearing injury time. See him bringing Paulinho at the 79th minute. Dullard of the highest order.

Lomprico2:


Why una dey use titanic compare?

It's a classic case of "God of the gaps"

hopefulLandlord:


what happened to you? you're talking like a skeptic

That's how it usually begins: From skepticism, to the doubt phase, to the questioning phase, to the reasoning phase, and then in most cases, to the enlightenment phase.

This is nothing but an overt mockery of people who have died in airplane crashes. This is also a derision of their relatives, family members and friends who bereaved them in the aftermath of that agonising moment.

Those children who died in the Sosoliso air-crash were more innocent than this charlatan. It's unarguable – they were prepubescent children. Did Oyedepo's "God" not think them worthy of salvation?

To the rational and observant mind, it is evident that the universe is governed largely by chance. It is like a lawcourt where victory is awarded not based on how logically sound the arguments are, but on the stochastic roll of an impersonal dice. There is no conscious intelligence behind the universe. And even if there were–as some intricacies of Nature seem to suggest–then we can with infallible precision tell that this intelligence is highly unemotional and dispassionate i.e. it is not Santa Claus who rewards those who have been good; neither does it allot comeuppance to those who have been bad. It just doesn't care.

Since the universe is ruled by chance (and sometimes by the laws of cause-and-effect), people like Adolf Hitler–who's the stereotypical bad guy–may live up to a hundred years, be insensibly wealthy, and live a perfectly healthy life; whilst people like Mahatma Ghandi–stereotypical goody-two-shoes–may live a relatively short life, suffer a nagging tuberculosis for many years, and then die painfully by crucifixion. The point is, the universe is not fair and since neccessity is the mother of all inventions, then it's no wonder that we, humans, so as not to feel completely helpless to the Universe's irrational vagaries and also in an act of defiant rebelllion against her illogicalities have dreamt up a protective "overman" (as Nietzsche would say), an epitome of fairness, and an entity which would help in lending some rigid order to the Universe's entropy. To take it a step further, these entities of divinity which our artistic minds have dreamt up have from years of indoctrination successfully wormed themselves into the seat of our collective consciousness so that we are unable to clearly distinguish between our "mental creations" and observable reality. This is my theory of the whole thing.

Frankly–and I say this with the gusto of one who in a distant lifetime ago once cut the quintessential religious figure–anyone who invests indiscriminate belief in a "God" or holds any religion to be as absolute as the law of gravity, ought to be treated for mental illness. Religion–when it's not tempered–is a mental disorder.

God(s) is only an "idea"–favourable sometimes (when it's used to fight social injustice and generally to better humanity), and unfavourable sometimes (when it's used to justify pogroms and terrorism, and when it antagonises rationalism, thereby stunting progress).
...

Pastor Oyedepoo should be ashamed of himself. And, what is this crude nonsense? Pastors junketing about in private jets, eating the costiest meals, wearing the most fashionable and expensive dresses, living in majestic castles and all that bourgeious luxury. None of these is bad per se, but when it's done by conning the poor masses–who are mostly ignorant and gullible, and who more oft than not prefer to be ignorant and gullible–then it becomes a problem.
I am willing to tolerate religion in so far it's geared towards selfless humanitarianism (the exploits of Mother Theresa and the likes), but when it becomes a rip-off, a racketeer–which is pretty much what obtains today–then it becomes a thorn in the flesh of the rational mind and the society which wishes to progress.

Sapiosexuality:
I don't understand some of these things. I mean, if heaven is so lovely and wonderful why should we, children of God I mean, rejoice when we survive an accident that deprived us of that wonderful place? Shouldn't we be angry and mourn our loss instead? I need an explanation.

A-ha!

There are nothing like "Nigerian names". There are only "Yoruba names, Igbo names, Ibibio names, Itsekiri names, etcetera". These names have always existed long before the word "Nigeria" bored its way into existence. OP, kindly rectify that error in nomenclature.

My favourites thus far: Oyindamola, Oyinkansola, Toyosi, Onyinye, Moyosore, Somto, Seyi, Akin, Folasolu, Nikechukwu (Nike √).

I only particularly like these names because I know people who bear these names, and because they have proven to be people worth knowing – except "Somto" (My fancy for this one is rather arbitrary. I just like the sound of it. Sounds like a stone pebble dropped into a pool of water.)

Oyindidi:
I love this name, Ayomide, I'm not Yoruba but that will be my daughter's name.

I always thought Oyindidi was derived from Oyindamola.

OBALORLA:

Thanks for the kind words. Regarding being amateurish and unrefined, what you should understand is that communication will not be actualized if the supposed reciever finds decoding difficult. So I actually took out time to study my audience, and gave them in the most simple way I can.

For my next run, follow my blog closely.

Are you saying Nairalanders are "simple"?

TheArchangel:
Men are really overgrown babies. You cheat because your wife denies you sex? Gosh marriage is overrated.

What about me and some other women who the thought of having sex with one man for the rest of their life gives them goosebumps! We should cheat too.? Buncha whiners

To cheat when one's wife repeatedly denies him of sex, isn't that a logical enough course of action? I think it is, especially when you've considered the terms and conditions which both the husband and the wife agreed to upon tieing the knot–one of which is to submit their bodies to each other at all times.

I don't think marriage is over-rated; it has its many benefits – social order being one of them. But I do think that it's unnatural and more of an affair of life-long self-discipline, especially in the aspect of sex.

@emboldened_Then don't marry, or better yet, get into the sort of marriage that is suitable to the whims of your libido. Marriage is not an evolutionary necessity. It's only a social construct. It's like Art, like music–it embellishes existence but it's not indispensable.

Fake story.

@OP, this is great stuff. I liked the pictures and the narrative. A bit amatuerish and unrefined, but nonetheless brilliant.

Please, could you your next tour take you to either Ikorodu or Bariga?

soberdrunk:
"10k" for 'shortime'?? How??!!

Island ashewo > Island püssy > Island payment. It's simple prostitutional mathematics.

The words "Tow" and "Toe" are also erroneously used interchangeably by many English speakers.

As in, "To avert danger, we musn't tow the path of our predecessors (This is wrong). "Toe'' is the correct word to use in that sentence. "Tow" is used to refer to something pulled or hauled and it has nothing to do with "walking or treading".

KanwuliaExtra:

You are 1 MAJOR reason why women should have abortions, so as not to replicate genetic disasters.

Is this a season for unbridled emotional outbursts? Eh? Why, is it that time of the month?

You are abusive and chauvinistic. [s]You are the kind that blackmails females after sleeping with them like your FELLOW NL scammers[/s].
Any girl unfortunate to end in your bed only has s life/death time of regrets.

Tufiakwa!!!!

Cc #NL SCAMMERS#

You were the one who referred to children as "chopped loads in trash bags". If I came off as "abusive" as you claim, then it's only because you came off as a cold-blooded sociopath (which you are by the way).

On the contrary, any girl that ends up on my bed should feel quite fortunate. I'm quite the patient and thorough lover.

Go to bed already, madam. You are already firing blanks. Goodnight.