cococandy:


Wait! what?
Did coogar marry babe?

Raumdeuter

Marriage of convenience, I think. I think it was so Bäbe3 could become a British citizen or something along those lines.

Daeylar:

You really are something else I like it.

As to the question, someone with the same values as me, yes,
Someone exactly like me, no.

I agree on the point of marrying someone whose values are the same as yours. But then, two individuals usually only have values that are similar in some respects, and that do not necessarily share sameness in all facets. Values change with time too, so I'm not so keen on values as I am on "interests". If our interests interlock like the two equilateral triangles of a hexagram, then I wouldn't mind if our values as regarding some subjects were at loggerheads – say for example that I am pro-life while she is pro-abortion, that I would be willing to over-look.

How are you today?

Mindfulness:

Poor you.

It is in keeping posterity in mind that I wouldn't marry my doppel-ganger if such a ridiculous option were to present itself. I'm quite conscientious and methodical in those kind of matters.
For instance, as it stands now I can only speak English, Yoruba, Creole, and a smattering of some Romance and Germanic languages. Well, my grasp of classical Latin is about 70% (both reading and speaking knowledge), while of Italian it's girthed around 50% (reading knowledge only) – of course I improve on them whenever I get the chance, but as it stands I think and write predominantly in English. So, if I were to marry an exact replica of myself that would mean my progenies–especially if they aren't language enthusiasts–would likely only be bi-lingual i.e. speak Yoruba and English. (Of course I could always hire a multi-linguist for a maid, but it'd be more natural and intimate if the kids learnt from their mother.)

But say I'm married to someone slightly of a different constitution, supposing too that the person were to be a virtuoso polyglot, someone who can moan in Spanish and Mandarin when we're fücking, then that's already an added benefit for my kids.

Besides, my replica would be an out-and-out weirdo. I already have my weirdness to contend with. Why add another weird planet to my Weirdiverse?

No, I wouldn't. Why? (1.) I'm not auto-erotic, ego-centric Narcissus who fell in love with his own image (2.) Where's the room for variety?

Here, this was your initial comment:

sonnie10:
I don't like the style of writing. Why not keep it simple instead of flowery

In that post you remarked about his "style of writing", and not, as suggested by your rejoinder to my post, whether he was able to do justice to the topic or not. There's a marked distinction between a writer's "style of writing" and the "content" of a writer's work. And it was in response to your critic of the former i.e. "his style of writing", that my comment was directed at.

Style of writing entails a writer's diction, syntax, grammar, etcetera – all in which the OP did fairly well . "Style" ("elocutio" in Rhetoric) is quite different from "Content" ("inventio" in Rhetoric). If you knew all that then you wouldn't have typed this long and unneccesary essay below, rambling about nothing.

sonnie10:

I have constrained myself from replying to folks in this thread but this is going to be an exception. Not because you have said anything worth my time, all I intend to do is to constructively present my observations regarding the article.

Let me be clear, I maintain my position that the style of writing is not impressive and would not pass as creative writing. Its an attempts to hide the writer's flaws. However, he can't get away with this.

The article lacks the basic substance of an expository work. First, there is no statement to define his position. The writer has not taken any stance, rather unnecessary big words are used. In addition, the opening paragraph did not state any social or empirical significance of the topic.

Basic elements of effective writing is missing. The article lacks clarity. A good writer would brainstorm and come up with concepts related to the topic. Those concepts are then defined using well grounded and accepted body of knowledge. The whole idea of writing is to add to human knowledge, to teach your audience what they never knew. The way you do that in a short article like this is to present about three sub questions about the topic, which your readers would naturally ask, and then make a strong defense.

In your defense, evaluate the evidence you present. How accurate are they? What are the supporting facts and figures? Have they been evaluated and found credible?
Introduce questions and use short sentences to get your audience more curious. Quote credible sources and give convincing examples.

Finally, restate you position and formulate a question for further inquiries about the topic. Then end with a powerful submission and keep the topic open for more discuss.

N/B This lecture you are getting for free cost me thousands of dollars and lots of sleepless nights, so appreciate it.

sonnie10:
I don't like the style of writing. Why not keep it simple instead of flowery

Do learn to appreciate what is good. This sort of petty blackguardism wouldn't take you far in life. And as far as I'm concerned, the OP's work was quite simple enough to grasp, so it must indeed be that your brain is one hell of a blunt contraption.

It's silly, if not ignorant, to claim that man cannot do without marriage. The survival of the human specie hinges on copulation, and not marriage. I've always seen it in this way: Sex is the consummation of the gentler human emotions; romance is the higher form of sex; and marriage the higher form of romance. Notwithstanding, marriage is not indispensable.

DanseMacabre:

If this cliched piece of verbosity sounds in the least way 'patently' sarcastic to you, then you must have an exaggerated sense of imagination. I can only hope you don't hallucinate or hear voices.

And no, the underlyingmessage is that anybody can change. So much for your imagination.

If it's not sarcasm or satire, are you insinuating then that the writer was being literal when she opined that men should begin now marry "ladies of the evening" should they come by one? If you claim my imagination is exaggerated then it appears yours is sorely under-used.

As regards the second half of your comment, we're both saying the same thing in different ways. "Appearances can be deceiving". "Anybody can change" – Potato, poTAto.
Another thing I find curious: First you say the OP wounded up saying "nothing", and yet in this comment you seemed to have magically discovered the "underlying message" of what you prior had called meaningless meanderings. How so?

DanseMacabre:
I beg pardon, but this writeup just ended up meandering and saying nothing.

Then you must lack imagination if the patent sarcasm in the OP's write-up eludes you. And the OP did say something, albeit indirectly. The message s/he sought to convey is that "appearances can be misleading".

Destinyy22:
I learnt something new from you; the entity and incremental theories of intelligence, I won't forget that. Your argument on the poor intellectual ability of Africans is valid too except for the religion. Countries like Pakistan, Iran Saudi Arabia and other staunch Islamic countries are world power countries that have demonstrated religious fanaticism.

You've listed only 3 countries amongst the 195 nations in the world and used them as template to shore up your point (Law of small numbers). You also neglected to mention the decline of life expectancy and political instability rocking war-torn terrorist grounds like Pakistan – another fallout of religious extremism.
And I'm sure you're familiar with the term "mean" in statistics? The reseach on wealth of nations to which I alluded only meant that on average, the degree to which the inhabitants of a nation are religious is inversely proportional to how prosperous that nation would be i.e. the more religious a nation is, the less prosperous it'd most likely become. Of course there are bound to be outliers like Saudi and UAE, but broadly speaking the wisdom holds true. And I'm sure you know it, too.

peterkul:
Radio Continental 102.3fm... kobanji direct with Citizen Zones

Best Radio show ever! To correct you, it's Kubanji Direct with Citizen Jones.

It's no surprise that only one person made mention of this show, seeing as majority are known to prefer bubble-gum shows and silly entertainment news over talk shows that would task their brains.

I only wish the duration of the show were lengthier. 7pm-8pm is too minuscule, not to mention the frequent intervals of FCMB ads that lessen the time meant for discourse.

Daeylar:


Good question

You're on Nairaland, so I'm guessing no birthday party?

Measurement of intelligence via IQ tests is to me not an entirely valid way of ascentaining the intellectual capability of an individual. Say you test an individual on his literacy and numeracy, and say he performs abysmally, does that justify calling him stupid just because he doesn't meet your standard of intelligence? What if the individual were to be a musical or artistic genius? We often times fail to realize that intelligence is many-faced. Einstein, clever as he was, was still a blithering ignoramus on many other areas of academic endeavour. It's only in rare cases of men such as Leonardo Da Vinci that complete mastery over multiple disciplines has been witnessed.

There are two theories of intelligence (according to Carol Dweck). There is (a)the Entity theory and (b)the Incremental theory. Entity theory posits that intelligence is fixed, ergo, however hard you try, you still wouldn't be able to augment your intelligence nor will it decline by itself regardless of whether or not it is stimulated (IQ tests seem to lean towards this theory i.e. that intelligence is a fixed and rigid entity).

Incremental theory on the other hand – of which I'm an adherent – posits that intelligence is fluid, and that it can by dint of effort be improved upon, and that it can also be decreased by a perpetual state of mental herbitude or an insufficient amount of cognitive stimulation. That's besides the point by the way.

While I do not trust that statistical figure up there, I can't say it's entirely misleading. Education in its encapsulating reach – literacy, numeracy, (theoretical and practical) knowledge base, etc – shapes and refines the thoughts of an individual. So an individual might be naturally bright but if he's deprived of a sound education he would easily pass off as an incoherent dunderplate.

I think it's fair to say that the more educated an individual is, the more intelligent he or she is likely to be – at least he or she is bound to be intelligent in scholarly affairs.
Now, with an eye towards the low literacy level in many countries in Africa, the wide-spread poverty, the poor quality of life, and also the sub-standard education in both elementary and tertiary level, it becomes hard to ignore the "thick" correlation between education and intelligence.

Today it's a long drawn-out ASUU strike, tomorrow it's the closure of LAUTECH, the day after tomorrow it's another misadventure in the educational sector. With all these educational pitfalls it's not hard to imagine that Africans would score lower than Caucasians on IQ tests. So you see, it's not so much our lack of intelligence as it is our milieu i.e. the disadvantaged environment we find ourselves. That explains why many Africans when placed in a right and conducive environment perform exceptionally well.

Also, our ultra-exuberance in matters of religion and the way we allow our minds to be governed by silly superstitions and obsolete cultural practices has a giant hand in why majority of us think regressively. When the typical African man is one who believes in levitating witches, charms and the likes; and who instead of cudgeling his brains whenever he's faced with a dilemma, chooses to abdicate all rigours of reasoning by entrusting his faith in an invisible God (or gods as the case may be), relying on him/she/it/them to descend from the high heavens to come alleviate his earthly troubles.
Besides our economic disadvantage, majority of our minds are sick and afflicted by religious dogma and tradition. Even the most intelligent African man occasionally says and does foolish things in those moments when he chooses to rely on what his Bible or his Qu'rân demands of him.
Did you know that a research once conducted to assess the wealth of nations revealed a negative correlation between how religious a nation is and how economically prosperous it is? i.e. the more religious the inhabitants of a nation are, the less rich and progressive that nation is.

But, like the Africans we are, instead of admitting that we have a problem, our recourse is to a misplaced show of patriotism, and to begin to rave, as one in a fit of paranoia, about how the Whites purposefully cooked up contraptions like IQ tests as way of denigrating the negroes (Persecution complex). Some nationalistic zealots on this thread even countered that if the average African has a low IQ then how possible is it that they still have the intelligence to defraud Whites in online business. Really? The foregoing is just another evidence of the poverty of our thoughts.

I cannot say that the statistics is entirely wrong, because it isn't.

Onegai:


And after they get married, they must immediately turn into a por.nstar and have masterful knowledge of adventurous positions, both good and degrading. Whilst wearing a red bra and black pant. From Tia Mowry to Blac Chyna. Overnight!

Are there such things as "degrading sex positions or acts" between consenting couples?

Daeylar:

See vex
The sarcasm got me laughing so hard I can't stop

Oh come on, Daeylar, it wasn't even remotely funny. Why do you hyperbolize the humour? Ever since Lady Mindfulness of Winterfell sought to fashion herself after the teutonic mold of Angela Merkel of Westeros and became a mirthless ball-breaker, her facility with sarcasms and jokes took a fatal nose-dive and went terribly sere and yellow.

You made this comment only an hour and twenty-six minutes shy of your birthday, it's highly probable that you were only just caught up in the excitement of your ''big day", no wonder you were in such gay mood and found Mindfulness' wry remark to be such a rib-tickler. I bet in that elysian mood you would have seen a poxy, Dickesian street urchin and still considered him/her a sight for sore eyes. Your thoughts merely reflected how you felt, young Daeylar - classic case of "affect heuristic".

Happy birthday by the way. Although I fail to see the "happiness" in a day that serves to remind us of how close we're getting to our graves. I guess it's one of those un-contemplated paradoxes of life – we dread the spectre of death and yet, in an exuberant twist of Shakesperean irony, we label as "happy" a specific occassion each year which in truth is only a word-less reminder of how nigh we draw in our storm-tossed voyage to the chthonic abode of the Grim Reaper.

Once again, happy birthday.

cococandy:

by adult I mean over 20. My first time I was 21 and I think I was very mature for sex at that time.

Really? Only six summers ago? In 2011? The same year my sister broke my playstation 2? You should definitely write a monograph on the subject; my curiosity is most certainly piqued. I should like to read how it happened. Every single thing that transpired on that day, down to the minutest detail.

To do discretion no harm, you can always post under an anonymous sobriquet on either of these two websites (Just make sure to suffuse your story with perculiarities associated with yourself so I can easily discern your story from the rest of the pack). And if you're not motivated enough to drink pen and ink then narrate your experience to my two attentive ears and I shall readily be your loyal Boswell. Pleaseeeeee, CocoPops, do well to oblige me :

https://literotica.com/

http://www.deolububble.com/general/ndb/

dangotesmummy:
exactly my point. That's why you see virgins bereft of character because you've made them assume Virginity is the only sustainable way to make your marriage work and then later the hypocritical men will come and be ranting about how Virginity is iverrated .the same people always judging women about being sexually loose will be the same person judging her she's inexperienced

If she marries as a virgin-shes green and naieve
If she no marry as a Virgin- she's loose

So in essence societal standards have failed.just set up your own standards and live by it.shikena

Men who castigate single women who do not draw the reins on their sexuality and yet get into marriage with a virgin while expecting her to be as sexually dexterous as a Cherokee d'ass would be, are like HRs who want to employ a 22-year old with 35 years of working experience. Outrightly ridiculous.

Virginity? Pfft! It's only shallow and simple-minded individuals who would use something as triffling as the state of a woman's hymen as an index of her personality. Why do you think such metric only has firm rooting in African soil? Africans are leagues behind the rest of the world, so it shouldn't come as surprise that while countries in enlightened continents are making scientific in-roads and inventing cutting-edge technology, Nigerians are in a little corner of the world, squeaking like a family of rats and debating effusively over the tensile strength of a woman's hymen. Talk about grand misplacement of priorities.

Take for instance these two women:

I.) Woman A was born with a very low libido and maintaining her virginity until marriage would require little effort from her

II.) Woman B's libido on the other hand is on over-drive and it would require more effort and self-discipline on her part if she intends to keep her hymen in pristine form.

If Woman B, in two or three instances of blind lust, has sex with two different men, would we then say that makes woman A the better of the two?

I can't predict the future, but I can predict what my future self would want, and that is: a woman who can stimulate me mentally in many-sided ways, a woman who is of quiet and studious habits, who is beautiful and generous in those areas of the female anatomy that my lustful eyes have always found most appealing; a woman who can offer me adequate emotional buffer in those trying times when my wits and nerves fail me; a woman who is caring, loving, and who is a repository of worldly knowledge, and on whose wisdom I can rely on to serve as salutary and edifying influence on my kids.

Virginity does not make a woman have all those qualities I've listed out, and since I'm not one to rank exterior trivialities over inner qualities, I unapologetically say: "To hell with virginity".

Mindfulness:

Girls are not supposed to have any s.exual desires. And if it happens, it is the devil's work, it must be killed by fire by force.

That explains the steep differential libido between male adults and female adults in the world today, and precisely what goads the popular misconception that men think more about sex than women do - an assertion that couldn't be more wrong.

It's an hypothesis of mine that both men and women used to be shameless, ultra-sexual animals, who frolicked beneath the sheets with whomever they wanted and whenever it tickled their bestial fancy. I theorize, too, that mileniums of "slut-shaming" have deadened the sensual carapace of the female folks, coercing them into a shell of sexual reticence, so that they're mandated to keep whatever sensual thoughts they might conceive of to themselves or risk being branded a slut.

It's a form of sexual natural selection, I think i.e. the more society "slut-shamed", the more females had to stifle their sexuality as way of calibrating their dance steps to the tune of the slut-shaming flute. But I find elation in the fact that the pattern is being deviated from, to some extent at least.

Africlegend:

Morals is necessary in building humans. Even outside the risk of STDs, ladies can still be decent, but, being sexually decent and/or modest should be a personal thing. The problem with Nigerian Mothers is, they exagerate moral laws. The fact that you don't want your daughter to be promiscuous doesn't mean you should make her ignorant. I will teach my Children morals but won't go beyond basic principles of living. I will teach them morals but won't force it on them. I will also reveal sex and sexual urges to them in their ordinariness. I will not yell at them but be attentive. I will not shout at them but be quite sparing. In fact, I will let my daughter know the beauty of preserving her hymen for her husband. In all, When she's old enough, I will let her make decisions but will be there to always guide her.

Sex is a biological activity, and when you begin to affix morality with it you're in essence attempting to superimpose a constraining cap on the course of nature. We might as well reason that "breathing" is a staple postulate for living but that "breathing too often" is an immoral avocation, since that's precisely the same ratiocination used to justify the demonisation of "promiscuous sex".

Another thing, who decides what is moral and what is immoral?

"Preserving her hymen for her husband"...? Don't you think you'd unwittingly be inculcating the notion in your daughters that their "hymen" is akin to a mere commodity, one that needs to be preserved up till the point of marriage, otherwise they risk venturing into marriage not as complete women but as "half-used chattel"?

dangotesmummy:

Who's the woman in the picture, the one in green dress?

dangotesmummy:
try and understand my message.I'm not downplaying sex or anything of sort.by serially promiscuous I mean a boy of girl having casual sex with just anybody just because he or she is ho" rney at that moment and mind you there's nothing wrong about have sex albeit be responsible about it as opposed to engaging in casual reckless sex with multiple sex partners who you don't know their sexual history. Now this isn't for morality or religious sakes,its about putting your health on the line for fre minutes pleasure.

I'm an advocate of if a girl has a boyfriend or if a boy has a girlfriend she/he should face their partner only and not be engaging in promiscuity for the sake of your HEALTH I.e being vulnerable to STDs, HIV and sexual diseases that's my point

Do you understand?

Now that you've laid it out in unambiguous terms your position is understood much better.

dangotesmummy:
parents keep shouting, threatening and making their children feel abnormal because they tell them about how their bodies feel sexually.why won't people you don't envisage listen to them when you're not ready to listen to them.many parents are drama queens and drama kings any small thing they're yelling and shouting. Every little issue is blown out of proportion so you think the girl will not rather talk to a male lecturer who's ready to listen to her or her boyfriend Rather than her parents?

Like I said earlier I work in a university environment so I saw a girl who was pregnant by a boy who sells phones and phone chatger in school.throughout she refused to go on holiday. Once she hears or sights her parents are coming, she will run away. She was so scared of her parents. Eventually she gave birth in school.

It was after she gave birth that the mid wives were able to beg her and pet her that she shouldn't worry,she should give them her parents number that they won't shout at you or disgrace you.don't worry I'm here,we will defend you.that was when she was relaxed to give them her parents number.

So they called her mom and congratulated her that she's a grandmother now.the mother said she doesn't understand, grandmother as how? She said her daughter with the name abcd has given birth that she's in so and so hospital

As typical, the mother was coming spitting fire and venom,creating drama and shouting all over the place.she had to be educated that that's why your daughter cannot even trust you or confide in you because you're too lousy.you make everything chaotic.it was at that point she calmed down.for 9 months they were looking for the girl not knowing she was avoiding them

Now would the trust issues or pregnancy have arisen if she wasn't someone that emotionally and verbally abuses her daughter?

I venture to say that religion is the root-cause of why so many African parents are obdurate prigs in re the issue of bequeathing sexual education to their female (and male) children.
When even a mention of the word "sex" in a typical Nigerian church stirs tension amongst the congregation, causing them to shift their buttocks on the pews in a fit of ''uncomfortability'' - as if to say the act of sex is not a natural phenomenon but some vile, alien, and physical manifestation of human degradation in the nth degree.

I think the problem that the OP talked about stems from the fact that we've afforded too much undue sacredness and reverence to something that's only a biological imperative, something that's arguably as mundane as the act of urination - no thanks again to religion and its attendant morass of arbitrary moral fiats.

Even you –dangotesmummy– are guilty in some way of the very misdemeanour you deplore, even though you do not realize it. In one of your spiels on this thread you used the phrase "serially promiscuous" - a phrase which bears the unmistaken undertone of derogation.
Tell me, if one were roundly intimated with the dangers of having multiple sexual partners and is also up-to-the-nose on the various prophylactic measures that significantly lessen the risks of contracting STDs, would it constitute a moral crime if such an individual – male or female – decides to be unsparing in the quantity of his/her sexual partners?

When you use the phrase "serially promiscuous" aka "olosho", you telegraph the idea that keeping multiple sexual partners is by itself a sin and morally unhealthy, and I don't see how that makes you any different from those prude African parents who sermonize to their daughters on the depravity of sex as a way of deterring their blithely naïve minds from indulging in the act --- except of course that all their sermons prove in the long-run to be royally counter-productive.

Lewaluv:
Whats my bra size?

Full lips and chubby cheeks suggest big böobs. I don't know much about bra sizes but I know you've got big jugs.

MissRaine69:
Which creature walks on four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon, and three legs in the evening?

A shape-shifting witch from Benin city. You forgot to add "...and that glides across the night sky on bat-wings".

HannahHitler:
the police is called to a crime scene. it is obviously a suicide as the police see the victim hanging from the ceiling. but the surprising thing is that, the apartment is empty, nothing is in there at all except for a pool of water. so how did the victim climb to the ceiling?

No cheating. get the answer then pm me.

How high is the ceiling? I'm assuming very high, so high that it's nearly impossible to suggest that the dead man propelled himself from the floor to the ceiling, held onto a chandelier perhaps, placed the rope round his nape, before descending to his death.

If it's the case of a really high ceiling and if it's not possible that the dead man climbed to the roof from outside the building and then jumped down after finding an inlet which granted him access through the roof, then it's definitely not a suicide.

If you intend on departing this world, you don't dream up a baroque and elaborate plan, it's also improbable that you would decide to flood a room deliberately so you can float to the ceiling where you plan on putting a noose around your neck. You don't make the process anymore complicated than it ought to be. You want to die, and so you take the simplest route out. The simplest thing would be to stand on a chair or a table or a platform of sorts, place the noose round your neck, and kick away the chair. Simple as whistling dixie.

It isn't suicide. The man was murdered and his murderer staged it to look like a suicide. Pool of water? Perhaps the dead man was drowned by the murderer? Was his body or clothing found wet? What did forensics say the cause of death was?

modextus:
Denis Suarez... The most underrated player in Barcelona.

He's barely even average. Why should he receive any more praise than he deserves?

Pharoh:
Messi doesn't look motivated so much.

I took note of this last week, the frustrations became even more pronounced when all his attempts to score against Real Betis proved to be an exercise in futility. I feel nothing but pity for the man. At this age, all he's meant to do is to sit put upfront while the younglings do all the legwork. He isn't getting any younger – just look at how Zidane strategically deploys CR7 with an with an eye towards his age.

This is the age Messi's supposed to enjoy football and have things easy, but because of the club's incompetencies and a lack of talent for forward-minded thinking, the man now has to shoulder more responsibilty than I doubt even someone as talented as him can hope to carry. Just imagine Messi having a lower buy-out clause than Benzema and Ascensio?!

Every activity in life is 99% psychological and only a meagre 1% physical. A player can be the fittest monkey in the jungle, the fastest chimp and whatnot, but if his energy level and motivation is on the low, he'd find it a rather difficult task in besting even a man of lesser talent but who has a wealth of motivation on his side. That's exactly what's lacking in this team: there's no motivation. No quality, no motivation.

Even watching the likes of Alex Vidal and Rakitic is killing my mojo, and I'm only watching the game on a TV screen. How much more Messi who's playing on the same pitch as them?

Sentiments aside, if Messi knows what's good for him, he had better leave this team. There's no better time for that than now.

First-half was a fiasco and a complete waste of my time.

makydebbie:
You should. Everyone's view differs. Life has shaped us into what we are. You shouldn't go about insulting people because their views doesn't sit with yours. You should learn to respect people's opinion. Anyway, this world will be very boring if we all think alike.

I'm a foremost respecter of opinions, and I didn't insult anybody. I can't be blamed if people choose to be unnecessarily over-sensitive and see insult in every single comment that seems to go against the grain of their persuasions. Time is of great value to me, and accomodating triffling emotional outbursts is something that I do not have time for.

makydebbie:
You've started again.

Did I ever stop?

Oyindidi:
DarkRebel69, stay off my mention. I'm simple minded but I don't go about begging for money here.

And who accused you of going about 'begging for money'? Silly woman talking off tangent.