DaveP's Posts

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Education › Re: Pictures: Could This Be The Best Way Of Curbing Exam Malpractice In Nigeria? by daveP(m): 11:22pm On Aug 09, 2014

(Lecturer comes into well ventilated hall,he is seen bargaining with the Invigilator. Some students seated close by the two can only hear '40', 'how bout 60', '80 will be fine'.
The lecturer then smiles,clears his throat and announces)

Lecturer: alright students, put aside ALL HELMETS ( noise in the hall) and LISTEN CAREFULLY!! NO 1-A, NUM 6-9 BADE, 10-13-BABA!!

Invigilator- an External is coming, wear ur helmets fast!!!!
(he annoyingly sees a girl having difficulty adjusting the cardboard on d helmet. HE SHOUTS WITH HIS EYES BULGINGLY EMPHASIZED) MA MA KOBA MI IWO OBINRIN YI!!!!

( 3 minutes after, the external enters a peaceful hall, and scans the students and their helmets)

External: i hope...... ( a helmet falls before he speaks)

Lecturer (forgets himself) are you Madd? shocked

1 Like

Health › Re: Ebola: FG Bans Transportation Of Corpses by daveP(m): 11:10pm On Aug 09, 2014

Ebola everywhere on FP im tayad to even open sef....... Xup@ bustyhelen.

Sports › Re: Korea V Nigeria (1-2): FIFA U-20 Women's WC On August 9 by daveP(m): 11:02pm On Aug 09, 2014

Antell95: the front page is meant for EBOLA VIRUS related topics

LOL

Sports › Re: Korea V Nigeria (1-2): FIFA U-20 Women's WC On August 9 by daveP(m): 10:57pm On Aug 09, 2014

Ope o. Loveth , Aluko and that goalie may put us in a fix,if they dont get their acts well. Two goals, two matches. Thats what England will wana capitalize on now. Theyre making it look like Dike is the only one ere. The coach must allow tallest girl to start and let dike come from the bench. Tactics.

Nairaland General › Re: NAIRALAND Post Your Best PIC Of You :season2 by daveP(m): 10:52pm On Aug 09, 2014

missyhorlah: http://www.goggle/ibereofo.com

hmm! Outta ere

Literature › Re: Free N5000 For A Writer Here Every Month! Click To See How! by daveP(m): 10:50pm On Aug 09, 2014

Help vote DaveP for RUM!! (Regular updater) thanks

Literature › Re: Free N5000 For A Writer Here Every Month! Click To See How! by daveP(m): 10:48pm On Aug 09, 2014

LogoDWhiz: Hmm. Yeah.

I agree with you..

Hope you're good tho?

vote DaveP!!!

Nairaland General › Re: Let's Play Q & A Game by daveP(m): 10:31pm On Aug 09, 2014

Q-may i know what you are thinking?

A- ah yes mademoiselle, one is been among worthy writer.

TiffanyJ

when did you start writing?

Nairaland General › Re: Let's Play Q & A Game by daveP(m): 10:27pm On Aug 09, 2014

drcynthia: Best moment is now!
Seeing a post where lady Toykathy called me a good writer!
Tanks dear!

yes you are. (whispers) check mine out too! wink

Nairaland General › Re: NAIRALAND Post Your Best PIC Of You :season2 by daveP(m): 10:25pm On Aug 09, 2014

LogoDWhiz: I know say u dey whine me.

Make we see offline

(in R kelly's pitch) now i know know know know, there's something fishy. Cos i am a mountain, i am an eagle....... grin

Nairaland General › Re: NAIRALAND Post Your Best PIC Of You :season2 by daveP(m): 10:23pm On Aug 09, 2014

missyhorlah: explain what?

aha see how u ask sef. We (points to two of us) shey we(points again) we dey fight? How two of una take be namesakes? Ce fini!!

Dating And Meet-up Zone › Re: *lanicky £ Family ¢hat Thread•••••CoMe In* by daveP(m): 10:21pm On Aug 09, 2014

charijee: Greetings people!!!
wow!!! everywhere is so quiet. ....Hope everyone is fine sha

we all good! Hw u doing. We missing 3 (signifies hard with fingers) 3 qualitative family members. LaurinaDavid, noble4d and Jennimma!!

Dating And Meet-up Zone › Re: *lanicky £ Family ¢hat Thread•••••CoMe In* by daveP(m): 10:19pm On Aug 09, 2014

Cheriepet: Y i no go frown? u owe me big time! i go catch u for corner

oya now aha. U wan catch me for ikoro. (in bovi's accent) abeg o i no wan show for ' naso we dey catch am' tv show o. Cos

'eye wey dey cry............' ehen! grin

Sports › Re: Korea V Nigeria (1-2): FIFA U-20 Women's WC On August 9 by daveP(m): 10:16pm On Aug 09, 2014

CFCfan: That was the result of the Germany v China match

shey na penarity dem play ni. Equal attack. Hmm. Lets plan to frustrate germany by parking d bus. They are too used to attacking that a park d bus system(good for an african team like ghana and falconets) would make the ladies cry. I dnt wana see a germany double here-men's world cup and U20 world cup. Uchechi abeg positioning o.

Sports › Re: Korea V Nigeria (1-2): FIFA U-20 Women's WC On August 9 by daveP(m): 10:13pm On Aug 09, 2014

CFCfan: Yes, it's confirmed that Dike's goal is the fastest ever in the U-20 Women's WC.

Hakan Sukur's goal for Turkey, after 11 secs, in the 2002 World Cup is still the fastest in a FIFA tourney

twice now at youth level. We must win this tourney se!! One seconds to nip Sukur-chai. One thing i know is this

WE JUST FOUND THE NEW PERPETUAL REPLACEMENT.

Sports › Re: Korea V Nigeria (1-2): FIFA U-20 Women's WC On August 9 by daveP(m): 10:10pm On Aug 09, 2014

Dannyxy: naso, my own problem be say make we beat england well well for our next match

england, shey those ones get defence? But they get body to muscle us sha!! Asides that beauty pageant contestant dike would get a brace.

Literature › Re: *****SCENARIO 75***** by daveP(op): 10:04pm On Aug 09, 2014

CONTINUATION

===============================

Three vehicles suddenly parked in the sparse compound. Some elderly men and a few women came down and stretched, chatting excitedly. Louis and Helen could barely recognise them all. but they nevertheless greeted them courteously, including those they were quite familiar with. The reason for their arrival was still unknown to them both; Louis thought it was a party, same with Helen. They both assisted aunty bose in making their guests feel at home with refreshments. The once quiet compound suddenly burst alive with voices. They were Eleven in number.

Louis struggled to unlock one of the room he hadnt entered in a long time. He kicked it open after fumbling with the lock and dropped the baggages. He suddenly activated his good boy character as he was compelled to do so whenever they had guests.

Mr Ola arrived and spent time seeing some tenants before he came in. The living room was alive with laughter and men's talk. The women got the cue and hijacked aunty bose's responsibilities in the kitchen despite her insisting they rest. Surely this family reunion was different. You could detect its emergence.

Mr Ola welcomed them amicably. He did miss his sister especially, Iya Tinuke. He peeped into Bolu's room, and father and son ended up in a warm, short embrace. Then Bolu laughed, his dad had white whiskers on his moustache. Yet he wasnt aged like their guests- stress. Bolu loved him and his mother equally. He wished the 10yrs of seperation could end instantly. He wanted a feeling of importance. This his siblings needed as well.

After catching up with family obligatories. Mr Ola announced in the commanding tone of a host, that food was ready. The family ate together in warmth.

Song: Micheal Bolton- Lean on me

1 Like

Sports › Re: Korea V Nigeria (1-2): FIFA U-20 Women's WC On August 9 by daveP(m): 9:44pm On Aug 09, 2014

Dannyxy: nice goal

we don qualifieth!!

Sports › Re: Korea V Nigeria (1-2): FIFA U-20 Women's WC On August 9 by daveP(m): 9:42pm On Aug 09, 2014

CFCfan: Dike scored after 12 seconds!

i wan marry Dike!!!!
She just broke Soo adewagh's record of 22seconds for fastest goal in a FIFA competition.muah muah muah!! grin

Dating And Meet-up Zone › Re: *lanicky £ Family ¢hat Thread•••••CoMe In* by daveP(m): 9:37pm On Aug 09, 2014

During a robbery in Lagos, Nigeria, the bank
robber shouted to everyone in the bank:
"Don't move. The money belongs to the
State.
Your life belongs to you."
Everyone in the bank laid down quietly.
*This is called "Mind Changing Concept”
Changing the conventional way of thinking.
When a lady lay on the table provocatively,
the robber shouted at her "Please be
civilized this is a robbery and not a molest!" *This is called "Being Professional” Focus only on
what you are trained to do!
When the bank robbers returned home, the
younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older
robber (who has only completed Year 6 in
primary school): "Big brother, let's count
how much we got." The older robber
rebutted and
said: "You are very silly. There is so much
money it will take us a long time to count.
Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much
we robbed from the bank!"
*This is called "Experience.
”Nowadays, experience is more important
than paper qualifications!
After the robbers had left, the bank
manager told the bank supervisor to call the
police
quickly. But the supervisor said to him:
"Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the
bank for
ourselves and add it to the $70 million that
we have previously embezzled from the
bank”.
*This is called "Swimming with the tide.”
Converting an unfavorable situation to your
advantage!
The supervisor says: "It will be good if there
is a robbery every month."
*This is called "Killing Boredom.” Personal
Happiness is more important than your
job.
The next day, the TV news reported that $
100 million was taken from the bank. The
robbers
counted and counted and counted, but they
could only count $20 million.
The robbers were very angry and
complained: "We risked our lives and only
took $20 million.
The bank manager took $80 million with a
snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better
to be educated than to be a thief!"
*This is called "Knowledge is worth as
much as gold"
The bank manager was smiling and happy
because his losses in the share market are
now covered by this robbery.
*This is called "Seizing the opportunity
daring to take risks".
So who are the real robbers here?
Education is good no matter how you intend to use it.

1 Like

Culture › Re: You Lazy ( Intellectual) African Scum! by daveP(m): 7:38pm On Aug 09, 2014*

Elitist making things difficult for educated fellas with credible certificate. They wash down graduates and make lil things seem big and vice versa. Why would a machine built in 19th century be what a 21st century engineer be using to cater for his life and family-motorcycle?

I detest that word Club cos i know three things goes on there- drink, waste cash(squandermaniacs) and plan evil (cultism)

its so true, average school called unis evrywhere, carparks in d hands of touts( supposed to be serene environ) all this rubbish omo-onile (na we get land) wars fueled from monarchial power etc. Well we need to wake and send those guys at the top down. None of them has done anything worth staying in our minds and hearts for. Even Fashola don fall ma hand. huh

2 Likes

Health › Re: Ebola Facts [Timeless Magazine] by daveP(m): 7:27pm On Aug 09, 2014

JurassicPark: Timeless Magazine
Ebola Facts

Please share this information with your friends and families and try not to spread panic on social media.

• Transmission to humans is thought to originate from infected bats or primates that have become infected by bats.

• Undercooked infected bat and primate (bush) meat transmits the virus to humans.

• Human to human transmission is only achieved by physical contact with a person who is acutely and gravely ill from the Ebola virus or their body fluids.

• Transmission among humans is almost exclusively among caregiver family members or health care workers tending to the very ill.

• The virus is easily killed by contact with soap, bleach, sunlight, or drying. A washing machine will kill the virus in clothing saturated with infected body fluids.

• A person can incubate the virus without symptoms for 2-21 days, the average being 5-8 days before becoming ill. THEY ARE NOT CONTAGIOUS until they are acutely ill.

• Only when ill does the viral load express itself first in the blood and then in other bodily fluids (to include vomit, feces, urine, breast milk, semen and sweat).

• If you are walking around you are not infectious to others.

• There are documented cases from Kikwit, DRC of an Ebola outbreak in a village that had the custom of children never touching an ill adult. Children living for days in small one room huts with parents who died from Ebola did not become infected.

• You cannot contract Ebola by handling money, buying local bread or swimming in a pool.

• There is no medical reason to stop flights, close borders, restrict travel or close embassies, businesses or schools.

•As always practice good hand washing techniques, but you will not contract Ebola if you do not touch a dying person.

NOW DETTOL WILL SELL FASTER THAN LUX!

Literature › Re: *****SCENARIO 75***** by daveP(op): 7:22pm On Aug 09, 2014

IfyAngela: Lol Dave continue naw, i have been following o.

okay, il update soon enough. 5more slots for dedicating before its stops. Thanks IFY and Caracta!

Dating And Meet-up Zone › Re: *lanicky £ Family ¢hat Thread•••••CoMe In* by daveP(m): 7:18pm On Aug 09, 2014

[quote author=lanicky][/quote]una wan make we fight small wretling? Okay......updating in a few.

Education › Re: The Origin Of The Word Oyibo by daveP(m): 7:15pm On Aug 09, 2014

priscaoge: Lol am good. Am sure ur day was awesome!

almost. Thanks to erm d weather.

1 Like

Celebrities › Re: Rotimi Alakija aka DJ Xclusive: Is He Cutest Nigerian Male Celebrity? by daveP(m): 7:12pm On Aug 09, 2014

Adufetohposh: I'm fine dearie, hope u re good as well...

sure now. Howz it @ ur side?

Nairaland General › Re: Let's Play Q & A Game by daveP(m): 7:09pm On Aug 09, 2014

TiffanyJ: my best moment on NL was when TRB made front page. It was my first novel and i never thought it will make FP.

hmm.

Dating And Meet-up Zone › Re: *lanicky £ Family ¢hat Thread•••••CoMe In* by daveP(m): 7:07pm On Aug 09, 2014

Cheriepet: i was dere yestermorn, dropped a comment which u did not respond to so tell me who hasnt been dere of late?

nawa o, u r certified

follower,let d rest answer.y u con dey frown tongue

Dating And Meet-up Zone › Re: *lanicky £ Family ¢hat Thread•••••CoMe In* by daveP(m): 4:48pm On Aug 09, 2014

IfyAngela: lol i commented, but i read it yesterday.

hmm. Okay i belif u...small.no be only read go carry am go FP.so help me@ y'all.

Nairaland General › Re: Let's Play Q & A Game by daveP(m): 4:46pm On Aug 09, 2014

toykathy: My best moment on nairaland was when TRB made frontpage, i mean dat ws d first tym i got to knw there is literature section on NL.
Therefore, i will like to ask d author of TRB her best moment n other wonderful writers.
@ davep.........share urs pls.

awaiting patiently.........

Education › Re: Pictures: Could This Be The Best Way Of Curbing Exam Malpractice In Nigeria? by daveP(m): 4:36pm On Aug 09, 2014

Earbugs will sell.

1 Like

Dating And Meet-up Zone › Re: *lanicky £ Family ¢hat Thread•••••CoMe In* by daveP(m): 4:30pm On Aug 09, 2014

IfyAngela: Knew i'd find you here DaveP

yeah how r u? Hope ure good? Guess uve don d needful?

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