₦airaland Forum

alBHAGDADI:
When did it become a crime to pour out the heart? If you are not down with his proposal, let him know politely instead of ignoring his chats or taking 4hrs to reply with a letter word.

By telling them you love them on the first date?!?!??!?

Na wa o. Shouldn't you at least know them a little better and be much further in the relationship before even uttering the words Love?
I am sorry but mentioning love in a romantic manner the first time you are getting to know a girl is just plain creepy.
Kai! Some guys can be too emotional like females. Learn to control your emotions brah.

leofab:
they will tag me olosho

Then they are not serious then.

kateskitty:
Believe it boo, it's a general problem with Naija men
The things I've seen, If I start to talk

Girls have suffered
The way you guy profess love online is

Hahajaha, I heard the same thing from one of my friends also. It was soooooooooooo hilarious.

teejaypee:
That girl is cute, but still, she responded well in the DM.

Naija girls would never reply like that, even those that have transformed themselves to amadioha

Why would they open up when you would be professing love almost immediately? Some Naija guys would ask you out and on the first day he would already be saying I love you. What kind if nonsense is that? Why can't you just let things flow and see where they end up instead of being desperate and forcing it.

kateskitty:
It is you Nigeria Guys that have a problem with chatting a lady
One minute you guys are professing love like it is water
Two minutes you guys are proposing marriage.

Nigeria guys learn from that chat yourself

I tire o.

kateskitty:
I just love the way this DM chat flows
Nigerian guys can be such creeps when it comes to chatting up a lady.

Nigeria Guy: Hi you look cute
Lady: K
Nigeria Guy: I love you
Lady:
Lady: Already

Hahaha, that is so true. You need to make a nairaland post about this. Lalasticlala needa to see this.
Naija guys don't seem to know how to chat up a girl. You don't mention love until much, much later on in the relationship.

leofab:
Onyibo girls and straight forwardness shaa.. y'all should check that chat

That's exactly how things should be.

Blue3k:
Why do you feel it's going to end up Somalia. I'm not a secessionist myself. Best case everyone simply leave like Scotland would have with UK or Catalonia want to do with Spain. Only in Africa people feel need to kill eachother over such a thing.

This is Africa men. Our people are tooooooooo emotional.

wordcat:
Can you support the alternative?

No, why would I support the fragmentation of my country? I don't want it to be the next Somalia, no thank you. Our country is all that we've got. If we don't defend her unity from enemies within and without then who is going to do it for us?

I am sorry but I don't want to be a refugee in an IDP in a foreign country begging for food or water because some seperarists ruined my country. No thanks. The way forward is to make this country work and the way to do it is to hold our leaders accountable especially at the local level and the state level.

And you know this how?

Lalasticla, mynd44 and Seun this is a good topic for valentines day.

cecegorgeous:
tanx much

She is wrong you know? Sex is not an apology and it should not be used as a weapon neither should it replace remorse and apology. Thats just being manipulative and this is probably why some marriages face tough times, because both parties are too proud to apologize to the other. They just think that seduction and make up sex would do it and that's just wrong because it doesn't always bring a resolution and it solve the issue properly it just ignores and puts a band aid on it. For there to be true reconciliation both parties have to be able to apologize and come to a resolution and make up sex no matter how enjoyable is not always effective , it's just pushing the problem down the road because both parties are not able to face it head on.

Sorry but seduction is not the same as true and genuine love. True love is humble enough to admit when it is wrong and apologizes for it. It takes responsibility instead of deflecting it.

prettycentia:
@ op, no offense but as a woman, i think we av advantage over the male folks lyk using ur body language (for instance after a huge fight, after u take ur shower b4 comming out make sure ur dude is in d room bt nt on d bed then come out frm d bathroom wit somtin 'hot' then lay side backing him esp wen ur blessed wit figure 8 n watch how the magic work. He will even 4get dat u owe him an apology but will kip apologizing) u will thank me later

You are wrong! Sex is not an apology. Thats just being manipulative on your part. This is probably why some marriages face tough times because neither one of the parties is to proud to apologize to the other. They just think that seduction and make up sex would cover it up. Well guess what? Its love that covers peoples faults and transgressions and not physical attraction.

So seduction is not the same as true and genuine love. True love is not proud and it is humble enough to admit when it is wrong and apologizes for it. It takes responsibility instead of deflecting it.

malton:
Sad, but true. I thought the same too. Besides CBN, FIRS and federal unis, there is hardly anything else that will remind you the SE is part of Nigeria.

A lot has to be done to change the situation on ground.

Forget IPOB, there are lots of people in the SE who deserve to share in the dividends of democraZy.

Nobody should be neglected like that.

But what are they doing with the large sums of money in the form of allocations coming in every year? Where is all of it going to?

wordcat:
At least there are federal prisons, Army barracks, federal Inland revenue offices and police barracks in d south east.

One Nigeria is a fraud.

Do you want to test the alternative and risk losing all your allocations and monthly revenue?

highrise07:
marginalised, accepted... but who is swallowing the billions accruing to the region in form of federal allocations .

I tire o.

TPAND:
Okorocha is right South-East has been marginalized in this country. But with Osinbajo as president, I am confident he will put things right and redistribute the Buhari's 95% to the four cardinal regions of Nigeria

But they get outrageous sums of allocation like pretty much every state in Nigeria so why has that not made a difference yet?

nonaira:
So okorocha knew all this all along yet had the audacity to condemn young men and women that wants to disassociate themselves from the nation they don't belong to nor treated them right. Had the audacity to even applaud the sh1thole killing them in cold blood.

Okorocha, Okorocha, Okorocha, how many times have I called you? See your life. So you knew this thing all along yet you dey there dey attack Nnamdi Kanu that said the EXACT same MF thing you just said and accused him of "brainwashing the youths." all because of your greediness. So you knew this all along eeh? My despise for you just intensifed I swear.

And yet you wonder why No igbo in your side of igboland likes you. You wonder why igbo in total hates your guts. You wonder why men and women are ready to attack you when they see you.

So you knew all this after all. We all thought your brain got eating while living up north or that your northern blood destroyed your braincells hence your clueless but alas, we see it is because you are a fat greedy bastard. Sometimes I wish you are anioma cause what SE fear to do to your likes, we would gladly do it. Ewu!

But look at it from his perspective now, if he pushes for secession and the ibo and he succeeds that means no more allocation for him or his state and why would he want that? We are talking about a massive loss of income which his state desperately needs as they hardly generate there own revenue and are on life support like pretty much almost every other Nigerian state? How would that make sense to him.

Jeffboi:
“Given the roles that I personally played as a sacrificial lamb in the South- East during the elections, my state deserves a better deal. There is no Federal Government presence in the oil-producing areas, and none of our youths benefitted from the Federal Government’s Amnesty Programme. I also use this opportunity to ask for the quick refund of the money spent by the state on Imo International Cargo Airport and on some federal roads in the state.”






The role he played in rigging

Why must the state be the driver of the economy in such a large country like this? Do our policy makers know anything about free enterprise? Na wa o.

playboy19:
Who is this one again? Too many Nollywood actresses we've never seen before forming sex experts. Must it always be about sex? If they're not talking about sex, it's about boobs and ass. Never about talent and vision and next minute the so called industry veterans will start shouting about pirates, I've never heard any sound idea about how to tackle pirates from anyone of them, it's always about sex, boobs, and ass.

That is ehn, the lack of insight in the interviews is just galling. Wayyyy too shallow.

Blue3k:
The United States first used the Articles of Confederation created 1777 ratified 1781. Due to the structural issues related to the problem the Continental congress set out to tweak it but realized the system was lost cause. They then created Constitution of 1787 we see today. The country essentially restructured successfully.

Now let's look at Nigeria we have same opportunity to get it correct. The idea is relatively popular is some geopolitical zones. We just need to admit honestly current system is lost cause or simply implement reforms. Funny enough alot don't think nothing wrong with current system.

If reforms and restructuring worked for America why not Nigeria?

It can absolutely work in Nigeria its just because the federal govt does not have the political will or courage to do so. In fact, i think that is the solution to all of Nigeria's problems; decentralization like Spain. With the Local govts being allowed to fend for themselves and being given greater say on self governance. Development has to be a bottom up approach as opposed to a top down approach that most third world countries have been pursuing for decades where the central planners run the economy from the centre. Give people the liberty to take care of themselves within a national framework with minimal assistance. This is how the West was developed. Not by forcing economic plans made in Abuja (or the state capital) on the rest of the populace. The local govts should be breeding grounds for experimentation where good policies are then adopted and promoted by the state and if successful they are then adopted by the federal govt. This is how democracy is supposed to work.

Blue3k:
We'll see the next GDP report is due next month I think.

hahahahaha, don't mind them o. Let them keep talking. Numbers don't lie.

Horus:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cSaUFOK4AI

Buhari's Administration Is Determined To Lay New Foundation For The Nigeria's Economy - Femi Adeshina

But they don't know what to do.

HungerBAD:
Sad.

The clueless one released Billions Of Naira to the East, for the develop of the region. But unfortunately the Clueless Otueke Drunk, released the money to.

A-PIUS ANYIM
B-CHIEF IWUANYANWU
C-EKWEREMADU

Let us start first from the aforementioned names, before we start naming the other Eastern Contractors. The problem with the East is not the Government, the Yoruba or even the Fulani.

Questions should be asked from those collecting money on their behalf.

The Easterners are their own Problems.

Guy, i tire o. The East and the South-South gets its own share of yearly allocation. What are they doing with it?

Yet they would blame Buhari or the Hausas and Yorubas when we are all getting allocations.

HungerBAD:
God bless this Union.

This is pure love.

How come the ones we meet in Lagos, only want already made men?where are those women like the one that got married to this man?can you find a woman like this in Nigeria?

Maybe its because you are searching in the wrong places. Contrary to what some people think, Nigeria is more than Lagos, Port Harcourt and Abuja.

softwerk:
And this made front page?!

So what now happened after he gave her the money did it reduce the price of a bag of rice in the market?!

Abeg let us hear word!

But you clicked on it now.

Toks2008:
All over the world,women divorce their hubbies for so many reasons but statistics have shown that infidelity tops the list especially in this part of the world where polygamy has become the norm,but the question is;does it make sense for a lady to divorce her hubby over infidelity when same man can as well decide and indeed marry more wives?

I want ladies to understand this one vital point that most and i mean MOST HUSBANDS will cheat on their wives even if they are married to angels and the fact that your husband cheats on you does not mean he does not deeply love and desire you.

Please don't get it twisted...Not all men cheat and adultery is a sin before GOD and all adulterers be a man or woman shall end up in hell but i am not here to preach any sermon but to face reality head on.

Many ladies are always quick to say they can not stand an adulterer as a husband and some will threaten to rain fire and brimstone on a philandering hubby but in case you discover your hubby cheats on you please what would you do?

1.Would you rather leave your marriage, remain single and celibate for life?

2.Would you rather leave your adulterous hubby and start sleeping about with other men who are probably randy or husbands of other women?

3.Would you keep changing the new man to start all over with another if he also cheats on you?

4.Would you prefer to stay with an adulterous hubby and also shamelessly philander about in the bid to seek a revenge?

5.Would you prefer to stay with a philandering hubby,live a decent lifestyle and focus on your life and that of your children and just see him as a sex partner warning him to use protection if he must eat out?

6.Would you prefer a sexually decent hubby to take a new wife because he says he hates sleeping with random women?

Please don't answer with "none of the above because if you are in that position,you will certainly be faced with an option.

This is what i want many married ladies to know and i can't stress it enough..There is absolutely nothing you can do to stop a man to be polygamous either by sleeping around or taking a second wife "IF" he wants to and you can't even nag him out of it but In order to have a good stand if your hubby cheats on you,be a good wife first by being very humble,GOD fearing,Excellent cook,Financially independent,a crazy LovePeddler only to your hubby then watch and see.

Many ladies make some adulterous hubbies feel too important.Don't even think about worrying your head about your husband's fidelity but warn him to use protection if he must keep mistresses...i bet he will be so scared that he will sit up. Unfortunately many ladies just give their husband an excuse to have that Alpha ego whenever they rant and give them heat over an inconsequential emotionally vulnerable side dish.

There are more interesting things in life so please don't spoil your fun by hinging your happiness on your hubby's infidelity to you..trust me,If every married lady can care less if her husband cheats and just focus on developing her life and that of her child(ren),how happy many marriages will be. Its not difficult,,its a thing of the mind.

Hope this makes a little sense.

Hogwash.

Toks2008:
Madam chizzy please read this very carefully and before I go on it is pertinent to know this is coming from a 41year old who have seen shits happen in life.

There is what we call mid life crises in the life of men and your sis husband is going through that at the moment and I'm also going through mine but trust me,only a man with the holy spirit and love for christ and lots of self control can maintain a good moral standing at that stage in life.

The mid life crises of a lady starts at 20 to 35 and that of man is a bit longer from age 30 to 50. At this stage most people will feel like exploring their sexuality to the max but tend to calm down latter in life and turn out to be very faithful to our partners.

I was expecting to read about the way he beats your sis or denies her the required stuffs but you made it clear that he takes care of her...

Chizzy. marriage is more complicated than you can ever imagine and I will advice your sis to remain in her marriage and build her home rather than leave cos there is no guaranty she will end up with a faithful guy cos 8 out of every 10 men will cheat on their wives and those 2 who don't cheat will struggle to be faithful in essence..only a spirit filled or highly principled man will remain faithful to his wife...furthermore,she is not new to his philandering act even long before they got marriage which makes me wonder why you are holding brief for her.

You may not understand the dynamics of marriage until you go into it for at least 5years and you will look back st this thread and ask yourself if it was necessary ..

I have created countless threads on this matter and It still baffles me how cluelessly many ladies run out of their marriage over inconsequential matters just to end up more miserable...marriage is not a walk in the park.
https://www.nairaland.com/2618513/before-divorce-adulterous-hubby

The only unfortunate twist is the carelessness of the guy in not using protection but then your sister can insist on protected sex at least to safeguard herself but leaving her marriage should be the last resort except the guy becomes violent....no marriage is perfect.

My take

So cheating is inconsequential??!?
Wowww!

Toks2008:
That moment when a woman starts to understand how genetically,morally,sexually and physically different she is from a man is the moment she starts to experience peace and happiness in her relationship with a man ...I will stop here.

Wow! see reasoning? so its ok to cheat abi? Kai! see mentality.

learnedman:
pls leave your sister alone and concentrate on your own life,if u chase your sister away from her marriage will u marry her?at least the man is catering for her and not maltreating her,what thia case needs is prayers and not instigating divorce

and what if he gives her a venereal disease?

Peacefulpeace:
She is courageous. It's not easy sacrificing yourself for a cheating spouse.

My eldest sister resigned from Kaduna to join her hubby in Lag and she is so messed up right now. All she saved, the hubby took from her with one excuse or the other. He doesn't spend time with her, all that is between them is food and sex (which she always have to beg for once in two - three weeks.)

Hers is so bad. He gives irrelevant excuses for not coming home coz he's a telecom engineer. Going through his texts, she discovered he has countless ladies whom he met on dating apps like badoo and had cheated on her two days after their wedding (the marriage will be a year in May).

Right now, she's processing a job in Abuja so that she can flee from the marriage. I have learnt to prioritise my job over all things. In as much as I love my husband, my job comes first. Losing it is like losing all. My sister case is so terrible that I now send her money for upkeep. This is someone who saw two of our siblings through University and didn't marry till she's in her very late twenties when the pressure on her from home was much.

Wow!!! sorry to hear that. This is why people should not be put under pressure to get married under any circumstances. So sad the damage loved ones inflict on there own family members all in the name of "wanting whats best for them."

ayenitre:
To all single girls here:

Hypothesis: I love him so much but he cheats a lot. I think when we get married and settle down he will become more responsible and act the part.

Comment: Good shout. This reasoning is absolutely logical except for the fact that after an hypothesis comes the experimentation to prove the validity of it. But in this case your life, your marriage, your happiness becomes the experiment, ain't that too much of a risk?

Bros, help me tell them o. Its amazing how a lot of women think that guys would change after marriage.