₦airaland Forum

queensmith: This is a lovely thread thanks ronke.

Marriage is something special i appreciate it.
Guessin i caught the wedding bug now im growing old! Lol

You want to dissapoint your league of feminazis by getting married?

or are you getting married to a woman? Cos i cant imagine you getting married to those menfolks you hate soo much. And definitely not a Nigerian guy

Olalekan 0: . If my wife genuinely loves me,then she'll love my parents,treat them as her own and accept wherever they choose to spend their end-time. If she complains about their stay with us,then she doesn't love me and will have to find another man who's ungrateful enough to reject his parents. Chikena

Is your wife allowed to bring her own 2 parents also into the house so you can have 4 Septugenarians living with you?

queensmith: I hope u also believe beating ur children is aggresive and abusive, that way i can reconcile a little with where you stand.

Just to let you know, no its not aggresive but can be used in aggression. The same way a quiet racist slur is both aggressive and abusive. And to add a personal note we've all seen you throw tantrums on nl, can i put that down to being irrational and unstable? Are you out of touch and have no control over your emotions?

Surely beating children is aggresive and abusive, You can argue that some kids became the better for it, but some also became terrible children because of the beating.

Just the way you think Shouting and yelling at is OK, Thats the way some people too believe slaps are ok, some believe a little blows and kicks too are ok.

Even on this thread one lady has suggested slaps to the OP, that means she thinks its ok.

Whether you do it or not, Doesnt change the fact that its an aggresive behaviour and once you start one form of aggresion you might not be able to control the response

E.g if you slap me, I might overlook it, slap you back, blow you and remove some teeth or break bottle on your head

Its all fair since you started the whole aggression

queensmith: Youve made every human being irrational with that first statement. Like i said its natural, everybody has a way of dealing with things. Some will be silent and say nothing some will be vocal and let it all out. What constitutes as abuse is very different, being verbally abusive is different, shouting is not!
There is nothing to relate shouting to violence, a man can beat his wife without saying a word, your partner doesnt have to engage in a screaming match we are not talking about weapons here we are talking about how couples argue!

Some people shout, thats you have to accept, and yes its very very normal and no its not abuse!
Nobody likes being shouted at! its unpleasant and most times that is the point! if debreif has been emotionally scarred by it its probably because she didnt understand that.
You can disagree with it and try to state its an anger problem but you will be wrong, shouting and shouting uncontrollably are two different things. It doesnt mean you dont have control over your emotions its the means which you have chosen to express them!
Shouting is a means of expressing displeasure, its important to understand that and respect the fact that people have different means of doing so!

Shouting at someone is an aggresive behaviour first and any agressive behaviour has the chance of trigerring other aggresive behaviours

Just like a shout can trigger slap, Slap can trigger stab and stab might trigger shooting

The moment you start one, you might not be able to control where it ends

queensmith: We are twisting this thing up and down now, the question reads; is it normal for a woman to shout at her husband?

My answer is sure, what you are doing is knit picking and has nothing to do with my point.

No rational human being shouts and yell at another just like no rational human being beats another.

You have the ability to shout, What if your partner cant shout back?

We have seen ppl react violently after been shouted at, Some have stabbed or shot after being shouted on, Some who cant fight have commited suicide.

Ask debrief she would tell you that atimes you would prefer to be beaten than shouted at

debrief08: I agree to some extent, amd we are saying the same thing, shout and quarel with each other the bad part is doing it in front of the kids and using the kids as weapons in your fight.

I think your point here, You are already swaying in the direction of people who believe shouting is ok. You can disagree without shouting and yelling

^^^

The most powerful man in the world.

Possibly the most powerful black man in history, Married a dark woman

Dont you notice Barack Obamas wife is wayyyy darker than him? Or are you saying he couldnt get fairer women to marry?

I thought they said only Hausas and Yoruba dey steal money

debrief08: Differnet strokes, but I believe maybe erroneously that shouting wont make your point be heard any clearer, it makes the point not to be heard at all. But if some couples feel shouting is the wy to go let it be done away from the kids. It is not nice to raise kids who believe they can only be heard by shouting down the other party

But you should also know that shouting and yelling at one another is the beginning of abuse.

I have read severally how you complained bitterly about your ex-husband yelling at you till you almost cry.

Maybe you cried because you couldn't beat him physically, but assuming it as your younger sis, bro, child or someone physically weaker than you that yelled and shouted at you, would you be 100% sure you wont slap the person?

My point is, The moment you start yelling and shouting, Thats already an aggressive behaviour and can lead to whatever just like a slap can lead to stabbing or shooting and ppl would say " Wasnt it a mere slap, kick etc, How come you brought out the knife or gun"

[quote author=ekt_bear]Btw why are we assuming that the parents would even want to live with us?[/quote]My dad would NEVER want to stay with any child for long, He is too proud to do that.

My mom would come to visit often but doubt she would want to stay. She is too active and sitting down in America watching TV all day in these cold would make her age faster. So I doubt she would

rokiatu: My dad is dead. My husband can if he wants to.

Sorry about your dad. So if your husband brings his two that means 3 elderly ppl in the house.


Would you be able to moan in your bedroom knowing your mom might be overhearing her innocent daughter making those obscene sounds and asking for more

rokiatu: Absolutely my responsiblility. I am not stupid to dumb my mother into a nursing home. Absolutely nothing, and I mean NOTHING will make me not want to look after my mom when she grow old. Even if that means cutting out on my job and social life. What my mother have done/and is doing for me can not even compare so why not? If I don't do it, one of my brothers or sisters will do it anyway so no bluffing in my family when it comes to that. Infact in my culture and tradition, thats how it is, we look after our parents when they are old no need for debate.

So if you take in your mom would you take in your dad also or leave him in the village?

Ok In case you take your parents, Is your husband allowed to bring his own two parents too?

[quote author=ekt_bear]damn that would suck lol

i wouldn't mind my parents, but would feel uncomfortable having someone else's living with me..[/quote]Your wife too would/might say the same thing.

So best solution either both have a right no come stay or NONE

Na wa ooo

I would provide everything they need to take care of themselves but I wont encourage them to come live with me.

Moreover the cold and boredom of America wont work well with my parents.

How would it be if your 2 parents came and also your wives two parents in the same house

Cos if you bring in your parents, your wife too has the right to bring hers too

[quote author=c.fours]this is very senseless post.
women tend to be naturally only about half a shade to a shade fairer than men (ex. among siblings, the girl is usually a bit fairer)
but black men tend to prefer women 10 shades fairer than them that is usually unnatural. hence the popularity of bleaching creams among black women.

but that is not the point of this topic. This topic is talking more about the nonexistence of successful black communities in diaspora and telling us the reason why. Only a person in denial will disagree with her comment.[/quote]And her comment is that Black men are the reasons why there are no succeful black community in diaspora?


How lame.

The succesful black women have justifiable reasons to marry someone from other race like she stated but the succesful black men are not allowed to do that, Whenever they do, they are accused of thinking with whats between their legs.

Maybe her questions and anger should be directed at the Whoopi, Oluchis, Imanis, Regina Askias, Kate henshaws etc

iiiyyyk: i ve been opportune to discourse with some sincere yorubas.

they said average yoruba sees igbos as being too economically domineering. has more houses and businesses in allmost every big city in Nigeria.
despite how the nigeria society has tried to stop them.

one even told me the more reason why yorubas are conspiring with housa's to stop igbos from forming their own nation is due to hidden fear that the igbo nation might become the next African japan.

i believe it is better to try something and fail or succeed then face the realities than to lave in perpetual hallucination.

lets split this country if possible into 4 to 6 countries, every region go and test your abilities. if we eventually come back as one, every body will know his real worth and the worth of the other. if we eventually come. i think then we will make a better nigeria nation out of our own convictions rather than living on the administrative convenience of lugard and his girl friend.

Chances are that the Yorubas you talked to are named Onlytruth, Nchara and Obiagu.

If Ibos wanted to form their own nation, they shoukld hold Azikwe responsible for lumping us together in this hole and blame Ojuku for being a thief who wanted to add to Biafra more territories than what naturally belong to Igbos

A lot of women do this.

Yell at their husband and set the children against the dad, Though most kids by the time they grow up would just know their mom was immature, but some women would have succeded in convincing the teenage kids that their dad is evil while the man is bursting his asss to provide for his family and be a good dad.

I have seen this happen many times where the woman would refer to the husband as the "Unfortunate man", the Irresponsible man etc.

If a woman would now raise your own children, fruit of your loins to despise you.

Some women are evil

paris10: If he had slapped her then that would sum up the point I've been trying to pass across. No excuse for a woman to shout at the husband, really? Not when he's a cheater, not when he lies all the time, not when he's a wife beater, not when he shouts at his woman in front of his kids, not when he's an egoistic maniac, not when he's a control frick, not when he gives all the money to his family and not when he doesn't pay attention to the needs of the children.

Regarding having privacy, I believe husbands should always know when katakata wan burst (lol), and take his wife to a private place to address the issue.

If there are justifiable reasons for a woman to shout at her husband call her names even in front of the children, then there might be some justifiable reason for a man to beat a woman too..

if you are acting like a low life, know that the man too can act like an Agbero

Read this link

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-535828/Why-men-prefer-fair-skinned-maidens-women-like-dark-handsome-strangers.html

Notice that it address people of different races and not blacks alone

nene1: Also, for the poster who was saying I am targeting the men, I did say black women do it as well, but it is far more prevalent to see a black man with a nonblack partner. It is MEN who CHASE women. It is not black women chasing white men, but there are black men chasing nonblack women. For those black successful women, how many black men at their similar level of economic success are chasing a woman of their complexion? Maybe they have no choice, but to go to white men. If you notice, usually MOST if not all of those black models and such with white men are very dark complexioned, which most black men of a similar stature would not be seen with on their arm. Let's be real. That is why I am focusing on men.

You are really funny.

So when the white men come to chase those Black women, Why dont the black women think of their community and decline?

You mean Imani didnt see other succesful black men celebrities to marry, Oluchi didnt see all the succesful black men or even naija men buts its only an italian midget that she saw? , Whoopi Goldberg didnt see any of the black hollywood stars

You mean Obama couldnt get a white woman or a fair skined woman before marrying a darker complexioned woman,

I might be wrong but personally, among blacks I think women tend to be fairer than men. Even children from same parents, the girls are usually fairer, Maybe due to hygiene, maintenance or nature(maybe more melanin than men)

buzor: @bluetooth u know why banks are shuttin down in south west states?
cos your fellow yeriba peeps re on shottin and robbery spree while your lazy govs cant provide security...
south west is becoming another death zone like d north
tufiakwa

Thats because Yorubas allowed Igbos to come into their land and bring all the crimes of the east from cannibalism to kidnapping to otkoto

Beaf: They are not. Like I said earlier, the best you can do is claim a relationship.
The closest to the Yoruba are the Ilaje's, but they call themselves Ilaje.
Please, stop making wild claims that are insulting to us.

The Aba people call themselves Ngwa that means they are not Ibos

People call themselves Ekiti, Ijesha, Ijebu, Egba, Awori, Akoko, That means they are not Yorubas.

So in Ogun State the inhabitanats call themselves Egbas and Ijebus that means there are no Yorubas in Ogun State.

The Inhabitants of Ekiti State call themselves Ekiti that means there are no yorubas in Ekiti

Some inhabitants of Kogi call themselevs Okun that means there are no Yorubas in Kogi

Egbon mi razist, You are not making sense

afam4eva: It's funny how the same people who will jump up and down saying that Ikwerres are not Igbo will also say Ilajes are Yorubas.

Can you show us one notable Ilaje man that has come forward to say he isnt Yoruba.

We have the President of ohaneze saying Ikwerres are not Ibos, So we should ignore him and believe what internet trolls like you have to say

Beaf: They are not. Like I said earlier, the best you can do is claim a relationship.
The closest to the Yoruba are the Ilaje's, but they call themselves Ilaje.
Please, stop making wild claims that are insulting to us.

The Aba people call themselves Ngwa that means they are not Ibos

People call themselves Ekiti, Ijesha, Ijebu, Egba, Awori, Akoko, That means they are not Yorubas.

So in Ogun State the inhabitanats call themselves Egbas and Ijebus that means there are no Yorubas in Ogun State.

The Inhabitants of Ekiti State call themselves Ekiti that means there are no yorubas in Ekiti

Some inhabitants of Kogi call themselevs Okun that means there are no Yorubas in Kogi

Egbon mi razist, You are not making sense

Beaf: They are not Yoruba. Period.

They are what they are, you cannot steal a persons identity. The best you can say is that they are related to you; your claim right now is as ridiculous as a German claiming the English are German, because the language is Germanic.

Thoroughly chauvinistic and laughable.

The Ilajes in Delta state are not Yorubas? Maybe they are Argentines

[quote author=One_Naira] All the Ikwerre celebrities on Nollywood, how many times have you seen them deny being Igbo? The river's governor, whom is Ikwerre, how many times have you seen him deny being Igbo.
I suppose you'll post this https://www.nairaland.com/685447/anioma-people-fight-not-associated and tell us that anioma's deny being Igbo just because of one man's words.

I'm not denying their Ikwerre that deny Igbo but it is not as high as some of you people make it look.[/quote]the statement of the head of Ohaneze below

In the interview with President, Ohanaeze Ndigbo, Ralph Uwechue, published in the Daily Sun March 10, the President was asked what efforts he was making to unite Igbo in Rivers and Delta states, he said: “First of all, it should be understood that these factions who now deny the fact they are Igbo did so only after the civil war; take for instance the Ikwerre people… fully identified with us during the pre-civil war era but because the Igbo lost the civil war, a kind of stigma was smeared on them making a lot of people to start adjusting their names to sound less Igbo…”. This statement is misleading and not correct.

First of all, Ikwerre is not Igbo. We have made this clear even before the civil war and that was why some Igbo accused Ikwerre of sabotage during the war. Second, in all efforts by the minorities in the former Eastern region to agitate for their own political, social and economic recognition and liberty in the Eastern region and Nigeria at large, Ikwerre participated fully: hence, the late Chief E. J. A. Oriji and others represented Ikwerre before and during most of the conferences set up to address the fears of the minority ethnic groups in Nigeria. Third, in May 1963, Ikwerre people formed the Ogbakor Ikwerre Convention to state that Ikwerre is a distinct ethnic group from any others in Nigeria. Fourth, in the 1964/65 elections into the Federal House of Representatives, National Council of Nigeria and the Camerouns (NCNC) nominated an Igbo man named Mr. Eluguronu to represent Ikwerre in the House. Ikwerre rejected it and fielded young Nwobidike Nwanodi as an independent candidate and he won. Fifth, Ikwerre’s participation in all the movements for the creation of COR and later Rivers States clearly shows Ikwerre’s rejection of been Igbo.

Onlytruth: I wonder where you obtained the research data to suggest the bolded. In the absence of such data, I would say that you are just being another typical Yoruba man dividing up another man's house while expecting others to keep yours intact. If you doubt it, listen to yourself in the bolded words below:

Onlylies. Those ethnic groups have always denied being Ibo at every given opprtunity

I Am Not Igbo, I Am Ikwerre!
https://www.nairaland.com/421192/not-igbo-ikwerre

Congrats Ngige

Didnt you guys think it was the pressure from fans that forced Wengers hand.

Just assume if you had won the first 3 games of the season before the market closed, Do you think Wenger would have gone to do 7 last day deals?

You should be thankfull to the likes of man utd, liverpool and Newcastle for those early season whooping which forced a near mutiny at the Emirates

torkaka: ^^^^^ so which group will the igbos defeat in this new found war? my point through out was this; how come it is the perpetual war losers that are always calling for war?

They would engage Ngwa ppl

BTW, Dende is a certified M0r0n, so dont waste your time on him