Sarassin: Spirituality is a path and not a destination and once embarked upon no two person’s paths are replicated, you cannot say for certain where you will end up. Spirituality is about defining your position in the great scheme of things, it is about making a stand in the universe. It is a self-introspection it brings about a change in consciousness where you decide whether to persist with the status quo or to strike out on your own, you become a rebel to all orthodoxy, in all verity it is not for everyone.
You wrote that you believe in Jesus and I assume that you accept the salvific message therefore it might perhaps be best that you stick with what you are comfortable with and live your life as best as can be, else your quest for spirituality is bound to force you to confront the very basis of your beliefs, the question is, are you truly ready for that? The quest for spirituality is a yearning for enlightenment and there is no enlightenment that is to be found in a religion whose starting premise is universal guilt.
The path to enlightenment begins with knowledge, open your mind, broaden your horizons read other holy books, get different perspectives, study the Baghavad Gita, the Vedanta, read the exploits of Siddhartha, read the writings of Hermes Trismegistus, study the classics, knowledge is power. A very wise man once wrote that all of man’s problems are caused because he will not spend five minutes a day to meditate properly. Learn a good meditation tecnhique and then ponder on what you read, learn to live within the moment as opposed to allowing the moments to pass by and you will find your own path.
Do not waste time with psychic phenomena, these are side-issues that will stunt your spiritual growth, you should look first for a good spiritual foundation then you will find that attributes like AP will develop almost naturally once you have begun to align yourself with the universal Divine presence. Good luck.
thanks . if you would, please write me more titles of good spiritual books or better still send me a PDF/doc file if you have any. I appreciate your unselfishness towards mankind.
Sarassin: I am sorry that you found my explanation of God inadequate, I think it is a tall order asking for anyone to explain that to you what I did was give you my understanding. I do not quite remember exactly what I wrote to you but I am sure that somewhere in there I would have written that God is an experience. You have to experience the Divine for yourself. That said, I am happy that you continue to believe in Jesus and the Holy Spirit, it is important that you are comfortable with your beliefs.
Except in general terms, I try as much as I can to stay away from Astral Projection discussions because in my view most are ill-prepared and possibly lack the spiritual grounding to embark on such activities. Would you seek to cross a ten-lane highway blind-folded? No. What I will say however is that AP is not a form of spirituality, it is merely one of very many psychic phenomena like Psychometry, Telekinesis, or Telepathy, nothing more, nothing less, AP is not a Holy Grail, Cats and Dogs do it better than humans. You should learn first to center yourself, to meditate properly and encounter your greater self, because that is where the true spiritual journey begins not AP.
Finally, the premise of the thread is to examine the points of divergence between the pathworking of practitioners of the Left hand path, the Right hand path as well as the Middle path as well as the differences between their methods of operations and their commonalities. And yes it is true I do not advocate hurting anyone, I gave an example of being taught a visualisation technique by visualising a pin prick subjects who by the way were fellow practitioners also learning the same technique. The only way to validate the learning is to do it under controlled circumstances such as that.
It is true that I have used the same technique as described against somebody who I considered had been inconsiderate towards me, that of course was my decision and for that I can offer no apologies.
AP is just a technique and nothing more, it is independent of religious beliefs or lack thereof, if your ultimate aim is true spirituality then AP is the wrong place to start.
I thought with AP I should be able to get questions on spirituality answered and therefore find the right way to spirituality. if not, ...how does one locate the right path to spirituality?
Sarassin: Returning once more to the theme of the thread I would like to take a closer look at some of the basic requisites or if you prefer, “skill sets” that is required of a magical practitioner of any path.
Any aspiring sorcerer or practitioner of whatever path must have certain items in his or her locker, items without which one is simply a dabbler of no consequence. I call them the “sorcerer’s armoury”.
Paramount in this armoury is the ability to meditate and to enter deep gnosis, if I had to give up every teaching I have ever learned and retain just one item it would be the ability to meditate. It is a fundamental skill that facilitates your entry into the astral world which mystics over the ages have assured us is in fact the ultimate reality. Your ability to meditate properly puts you in direct communication with the universe itself, your word truly becomes your command. We will return to the use of magic in the astral.
Next in order of importance in the armoury is the ability to visualise. Visualisation of images and sequences of events are a tough skill to learn, there are no shortcuts for the practitioner, for the occasional "trier" visual aids may be of assistance but for the practitioner or sorcerer there is only constant practice. However once the art has been mastered a practitioner can do and undo…literally.
I was taught the hard way without the use of modern visual memory aids very often we would sit in rows of two’s directly behind one another and the neophyte behind unknown to the one sitting in front would be asked to visualise a pin being stuck in the nape of the neck of the practitioner seated directly in front of him. You could only get up when the guy in front of you reacted in pain, this pain was somewhat similar to the pain inflicted by a soldier ant sinking its teeth into you, and we would in fact sit there for hours practising. I felt the pain many times and inflicted it also on numerous occasions, it’s a technique I find particularly useful especially in aeroplanes when flying, every now and then I get a guy sitting in front of me who inconsiderately fully reclines his chair all the way down usually whilst I am trying to eat, needless to say, he gets it in the neck, they soon realise that when they pull up their seats the stinging stops, once they think the coast is clear and recline the seat I sting them again, I have seen grown men cry at the pain! but I digress.
My point is, without the ability to visualise properly one simply cannot practise magic to any effect.
And then there is the “gaze”.
recently I found out that I have been having obe for quite a long time since I was 16 or there about. ( because of my hard core christian foundation I always thought some evil forces were trying to get me).
until I started to find out what the purpose of what life is and who God really is ( I somehow stumble on your thread). I got more enlightened by your thread but I wasn't satisfy with your answers on "who is God ?", "is Jesus the son of God?" "and is the holy spirit the spirit of God?" ( although I have come to conclude that I will continue believing in Jesus and the holy spirit).
I recently read some articles on astra projection (since you never really explained it, I had to go through a lot of research on net). I have been on this research for long and I found out why it seems I was always choking and like my spirit is trying to leave me frequently in many nights. so I did some practice with the new level of my awareness. On two occasions now I no more feel the choking stuff and I have been able to see around my room. in fact I saw my right feet floating and my left am floating I imaging a ladder to help me separate myself but I was rather too excited that I ignored the ladder and decided to hold my floating leg with my floating hand just to be sure I was not dreaming(I use to be very afraid without the knowledge of AP).but before I could do anything else I got back to reality. the second time I couldn't imaging the ladder but I rolled to the one side of my bed but I immediately found myself right back to my former position again with my arm and leg floating. I was not afraid but I struggled to separate the rest of my body again but this time I couldn't move any part of my body it was like something very powerful was holding me to paralysis. I got angry and was angrily saying to whatever I felt was holding me down "you self leave me na" and after some struggle I became frustrated and a little bit scared and so I prayed in Jesus name trying to free myself from the paralysis but I woke in real life.
the reason I was having interest in AP was to get answers to lot of questions on my mind about spirituality and purpose of life and you said it is not necessary for one to hurt others when it comes to this form of spiritual practice ( infact you advised against it, thereby giving me more interest to venture into it). how come you are now talking of sorcery, magic and pin hurting people ?
people like us who are eager to sacrifice for the truth deserve to be told the truth about things. which is the first reason I don't fully trust Christians who just come to tell me to believe everything they preach without concrete explanation on procedures and happenings. I would like you to help me out with why I couldn't separate myself even though I sincerely wanted to and why you now associate sorcery, magic and pin hurting/ hurting people part with AP. THANKS
This dream isnt too clear in my memory but here is little i could recall: I was with my brothers in a store. i believe we were about to shop for some goods. all of a sudden i saw a man wearing a nigerian attire with two line/queue of young boys in local attire as well was walking behind the man. There were walking from my left towards the store and a woman on local attire with young girls behind her wearing scanty pieces of local attire on them coming from the right. It looks like they were rendering some kind of spiritual services to people (i believe prophesy). They arrived at the store in which i and my brothers were. I was about to avoid them by leaving the store but they peacefully insisted i should stay back as they came arround because of everyone in the shop. They somehow solicited for cash from persons in the shop, me inclusive, i was reluctant but gave the man #50 i was about to leave when the man said "let me tell you a little about your past", i objected and said i wish to know about my future and not the past then the man said to me "why do you act gentle as if you're too gentle you think we dont know about your fierce anger?" He asked for the womans opinion about what he said to me and the woman said "leave am, he thinks we dont know him". The man wrote a list of things and handed it to me i took it away from public eyes so i could have privacy but i could only read one of the options on the list before i woke ..... The option says "i will spend some huge amount of cash for a vain lost and a vain bought" Thanks
What is the fastest way to connect to an angel or the spiritual world? I will appreciate it if you can give me a practical explanation........things i need to do (e.g don't have sex for 3 days, dont drink alcohol ) and things i need not to do (e.g set up an altar).
Tampinu: Re: Perfection of the Bible (Please see below)
We in Ethiopia have one of the oldest versions of the Bible, but however old the version may be, in whatever language it may be written, the word remains one and the same. It transcends all boundaries of empires and all conceptions of race. It is eternal.
No doubt you all remember reading in the Acts of the Apostles of how Philip baptised the Ethiopian official. He is the first Ethiopian on record to have followed Christ, and from that day onwards the Word of God has continued to grow in the hearts of Ethiopians. And I might say for myself that from early childhood I was taught to appreciate the Bible and my love for it increases with the passage of time. All through my troubles I have found it a cause of infinite comfort. "Come unto Me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" ~ Who can resist an invitation so full of compassion?
Because of this personal experience in the goodness of the Bible, I was resolved that all my countrymen should also share its great blessing, and that by reading the Bible they should find Truth for themselves. Therefore, I caused a new translation to be made from our ancient language into the language which the old and the young understood and spoke.
Today man sees all his hopes and aspirations crumbling before him. He is perplexed and knows not whither he is drifting. But he must realise that the Bible is his refuge, and the rallying point for all humanity. In it man will find the solution of his present difficulties and guidance for his future action, and unless he accepts with clear conscience the Bible and its great Message, he cannot hope for salvation. For my part I glory in the Bible.
Haile Selassie I
(The last Photo below show Queen Elizabeth-The 2nd kneeling down to Emperor Haile Selassie I-The 1st)
You wrote in your previous reply to me that africans are in bondage because they adopted foreign religion. You also said something like Religion is not same as spirituality because religion are more of just rules and regulation.
Now you write that the bible is perfect.
Is the bible not a foreign religion ? Is it not (as you said) just rules and regulations rather than a spiritual aid?
Tampinu: What is your definition, meaning or understanding of "spirituality"? To what end, do you want to practice spirituality? For what purpose, practising spirituality, do you want to be effective for?
To communicate effectively to God. To know the ways of God better. To serve God better. To live life better. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Holy Trinity is real and eternal...
Re: Spirituality (See Below) “The temple of the most high begins with the body which houses our life, the essence of our existence. Africans are in bondage today because they approach spirituality through religion provided by foreign invaders and conquerors. We must stop confusing religion and spirituality. Religion is a set of rules, regulations and rituals created by humans, which was suppose to help people grow spiritually. Due to human imperfection religion has become corrupt, political, divisive and a tool for power struggle. Spirituality is not theology or ideology. It is simply a way of life, pure and original as was given by the Most High of Creation. Spirituality is a network linking us to the Most High, the universe, and each other…”
Sarassin: I take a Pantheistic view of the Divine God as being a Universal force devoid of the anthropomorphic attributes accorded it by religion. It seeks only our very highest good.
Ok. No particular name attached to this force?
Jesus was deified as God after his death. In other words he lived as a man and died as a man, if you are Christian then it is the corner stone of your faith that Jesus resurrected, if you are not, then clearly the man died. His life and deeds transcended his death.
However, the Roman Caesars gave us that original saying 'No man born of a woman can ever be God’. I am inclined to agree.
But in a previous post of yours you wrote that every human, deity.....all have one aim which is striving to improve thier purpose (aim towards the godhead). Now you write "no man born of a woman can ever be God". Does it means humans are only thriving in delusion?
The same God, but different attributes.
Ok
It is a question of terminology and subjectivity. Others refer to it as 'Kundalini', 'Pran' or even 'Chi' it is essentially all the same thing, it is the attribute of the Divine Supreme God that remains mostly dormant or sometimes activated in each of us. It is our inherent bridge to the Divine Realm.
Ok.
No. We judge our own delusions.
So i assume you dont believe in heaven and hell.
If I were to give an explanation of how I started my quest for spirituality it might put you off forever. Learn to quieten your mind, learn to meditate and develop your intuition. Most importantly, question everything, there are no limits, when the church people threw me out, I knew I was asking the right questions!
Sarassin: I will try to answer your questions as best as I can. It is only fair I point out that I am not Christian, I stand on my own two feet fully invincible as the Divine God intended.
Who or what is the devine God? I will appreciate if you give me a robust information on this.
It really depends on what side of the fence you sit on, if you’re mainstream Christian then you have to believe that Jesus is God. For me no, Jesus was a Jewish apocalyptic prophet in the mold of John the Baptist, like all apocalyptic preachers before him and after him he got it wrong, a fact that seems to elude many. Jesus was a miracle worker and a great teacher who taught humility, compassion and the observance of the spirit of the law. He was also apparently fiercely nationalistic. Roman accounts place him at the head of a significant number of men who were armed and approaching Jerusalem. Jesus was deemed an imminent threat to the state of Rome and for this he was betrayed by his own people to save their own skins and sentenced to death by the Romans for sedition. After his death his followers later deified him.
So even after death he/Jesus never became a God?
You would first have to define who that ‘father’ is. Is it the vengeful, wrathful, 'eye for an eye' God of Moses who brought the Israelites out of Egypt or is it the Gentler God of Jesus who advocates ‘turning the other cheek’?
The deity that reveals itself to Abraham and Moses has, much later through a process of assimilation had the attributes of a supreme God ascribed to it. Christians do not actually know the name of this deity, they refer to it by an anagram. The priests forbade that the name of their deity be spoken, the true name of the deity was never written down in scripture and the name was to be kept sacrosanct this was to ensure that others could not invoke the same deity against them! The chief Priest’s position was a high one indeed, he was the only one allowed to go into the inner sanctum of the temple to call on the true name of the God of Israel.
So you are saying the God of Abraham is not same God as the God of Jesus?
Everyone regardless of religion has the Divine light within. Nobody alive is disenfranchised of the Divine spark.
So the holy spirit does not exist? What do you mean by the devine light within every man? (please expantiate)
Only of one's own making.
How is this possible? Will not every man be judge? (By the devine God)
You don’t need to perform human rituals to develop spiritually. Learn to meditate you will find your own path.....eventually.
You most certainly can.
Can you explain a little about how you started ? Perhaps give some recomendations how to go about attaining a healthy spiritual living.
MuttleyLaff: Yes, He is God. He is a, is the Living, Intelligent, Omnipresent, Self-Existing, All-Powerful, Authority, Influence being.
Ok. Just as his father? So why should he die for us ? Why not just correcf all the wrongs without dying?
Yes Do you know of any other God, who is Intelligent, Omnipresent, Self-Existing, All-Powerful, Authority, Influence.
Ok. Is God (in the bible) also all knowing? If he is...why did he create human knowing that many will fail? (i.e judas betrayed jesus....why did God create him knowing he will betray jesus and after which he is still going to send him to hell?).
As you said God (as in the bible) can do anything and everything. Did he create judas to betray jesus and then after to comit sucide? ....(after which he also intend to send him to hell)
Did he intentionally sacrifice his son?
Does not these actions sounds rather heartless considering the fact that he has the power to do all things?
The phrase "Holy trinity" is a misnomer God, the Living, Intelligent, Omnipresent, Self-Existing, All-Powerful, Authority, Influence being cant be boxed up.
Ok. Just as i said before...the heaven i know in the bible is perfect.....why will God not make man and earth just as he intends to make heaven?
If he knew man was going to fail...why create man and earth?
Yes, both not the way you're used to or manner you understand them to be.
I know hell as a place of everlasting punishment for sinners and heaven as a place of everlasting reward/paradise for belivers.
Please i ask with humilty..in what manner is hell and heaven meant to be?
The Judge decides,
so we can't with certainty beforehand tell.
I assume the judge is God (as in the bible)
He created some to fail and some to succeed and send the sinners to hell and belivers to heaven?
It is the truth Meaning it is a factual information to be received without argument.
Ok.
How do you mean "engaging in any human rituals"?.
Money rituals (human sacrifice).
What is your definition, meaning or understanding of "spirituality"? To what end, do you want to practice spirituality? For what purpose, practising spirituality, do you want to be effective for?
To communicate effectively to God. To know the ways of God better. To serve God better. To live life better.
No, thank you
Please do not be offended by any of my reply as i do not intend to sound offensive.
Sarassin: As a practical example take an average Vodoun practitioner or a bog standard Babala.wo most of their work is done by appealing directly to the Divine realm (Level 1) through prayer and invocation and then channelling that directly into the Material world of Level 3 in the form of powders, candles, amulets, talismans, offerings e.t.c. Although they do sometimes work with spirits, there is very little about working with energies of the body or astral forms, in that instance the Ethereal realm (Level 2) is of less concern.
On the other hand In Western Magickal systems, there is also an emphasis on the Divine Realm of Level 1 through prayer and invocation, but the Ethereal realms of Level 2 are also very prominent through the taking of astral forms and channelling of energy through visualising things like pentagrams and such. The material component of Level 3 is present in the use of certain tools but it is not stressed as in the practitioners above.
Yet still, some practitioners will rely on just one aspect , for instance as in prayers directed at the Divine realm only. This can be extremely powerful if done by a ‘gifted’ priest or otherwise a large crowd praying in concert.
I will need to open a thread to channel all my questions.....please do honor your mention when i make it...i need to really clear a lot of issues on my mind...same goes for another respected man "billyonaire" Thanks in advance
All455: Pls house, it's getting worse now. A lot of things happened between us today, this morning.
I need anyone who knows the procedure to file divorce proceedings in a Customary Court because I want to file for divorce & serve her papers.
Yesterday morning while I was away she broke into my room which I locked and ransacked everywhere & scattered all my clothes, I don't know what she's looking for.
This morning she rained unprintable words and abuses on me and my family including calling my mum "ashawo". She's provoking me to beat her but I will never beat her.
I told her since she hates me and also hates my mum there's no way it can work out between us. She now said I must marry her & pay her bride price by force by fire.
I understand we can severe the union under customary law since we've lived together for two years.
Anyone who knows the procedure should let me know.
As for my mum, I'm already working on bringing her to my house soonest.
Thanks & God bless.
come oga no make me vex here o. you Don marry wey you dey look for divorce? if she doesn't want to leave your house you can go to the police or see a lawyer to move her out, highest they ask you for child support which you should not be worried about . but if the child stays with you then you are completely separated from her. no need for divorce. that is for legally married couples
alert the fiance of the Lady. decide to stay or leave the marriage depending on the reaction of my partner and the reason for his action. I will possibly stay. but I will probably leave (without violence o).
no go do gra gra again o, nothing permits you to become violent whether against your husband or the mistress.
oga the truth is that you should not make the mistake of marrying her. just take care of your son. if you marry her na "stories that melt the heart e go end up" later you will see same people that advice to marry her will come back and say: didn't you see the signs? pregnancy should not force you to marry.
Good day all Nairalanders. How are u all doing? I greet you all. As you help others with advice, suggestions and solutions to their issues, may God continue to bless you all.
I have an issue I need your advice, suggestions & contributions. Matured advice. No insults pls. But for those of you who would want to insult me, no problem, I would bear it. Thanks in advance.
We have been together for three years. I've known her for three years now. We dated for one year & she got pregnant. Immediately she got pregnant, she started living with me & we've been living together for two years now. She already had the baby, a boy who is now more than one year old.
We planned getting married since when dating but couldn't do so due to a lot of reasons, including financial, and also on my side I became doubtful and I'm still doubtful of marrying her since after I discovered she doesn't love me. I discovered this after she got pregnant & told me if not for the baby(pregnancy), she would not be with me. I was broke then & we had a serious problem then as we always have even up till now whenever I don't have much money, so after spending all the money I had then with her to travel for something, when we came back, the following week she lost her granny and by then I was left with very little money with me. Note that we were still dating then and she hadn't started staying with me.
It came suddenly so I didn't have anywhere to get money so I told her I would pay for her transport and also mine as well, all for both of us to and fro and also give her 5k to hold as pocket money during the burial, after all she is working and can support. But on the day we were supposed to travel for the burial, she angrily left me in the bus stop and traveled and rejected the 5k saying it's too small and threw the envelope back at me at the bus stop and entered bus and went for the burial.
But both myself and herself never knew she was already one month pregnant on that day. I went back to my house, she attended the burial, came back and started blaming me that I abandoned her when she needed me most and that why didn't I attend the burial or call her brother to give me their family house address? I was completely shocked by her behavior. First we were supposed to go together but she snubbed me at the bus stop. Second I never knew their family house as at then. So how could I have gone there alone? I later learnt that during the burial, while her sisters came with their husbands/boyfriends, she was ashamed when her family requested hers and no man came with her. She already told them about me then but most of them hadn't met me then.
After the burial when she came back, she fell sick, unknown to us she was pregnant. She had already stopped picking my calls but when I got to know she was ill, I requested to go see her but she told me never to come see her. First I never even knew where she lived then but only knew where she worked. She intentionally kept her house hidden from me despite all the efforts I made to know it because she was living with a friend according to her.
So she was admitted to hospital and since she didn't want to see me, she didn't come to work because of her illness, and so there was no way I could see her. I kept calling requesting she tells me the hospital but she refused (that was whenever she managed to pick). I kept my cool.
She now got to know she was pregnant while on the sick bed and knew the real cause of the illness. She never called to inform me she was pregnant. She now sent her friend to call me and the friend wanted to see me. She has many female friends she surrounds herself with, even up till now, 99.9% of them single & seriously searching with no husbands or any serious relationship. When I got to where we arranged to meet with her friend at the bearparlour, her friend blasted me with harsh words for abandoning my girlfriend during the burial of her granny. She said why didn't I follow her as she left me and entered the bus? She said why didn't I travel down to my girl's town, then call her or her brother that I was in the bus stop and they would come pick me! That was the story my girlfriend fed them with. I was really shocked and I defended myself.
Long and short of it, it was there and then her friend told me my girlfriend was pregnant for me. That was how I knew for the first time. She then took me to their house where they lived and where incidentally my girl was being treated by an auxiliary nurse with drips since she had been discharged from hospital.
Sorry for the long tale, but I just want you to know the genesis of the whole thing. While there, my girl made a statement in our language which means: "Well I have accepted my fate". I later got to know she had wanted to end the relationship but only invited me to know her place after she discovered she was pregnant. Meanwhile on my own part, I also thought of ending it all with her when she angrily embarrassed me at the bus stop because of money & traveled for the burial and because of her other behavior which I was not comfortable with.
Well we made up because of the unborn baby and continued our relationship. Although I still loved her then but I noticed she never loved me but still loved her ex who was rich and they dated for close to five years but she suddenly discovered both of them were AS genotype. But I'm AA. While we were dating there was a day we had a quarrel (our misunderstanding most times centered around money issues since I was not rich like her ex boyfriend) and she now made a statement and said:"If not for genotype...", she didn't complete the statement but I already knew she meant she would not have been with me if not for genotype incompatibility with her ex.
After she got pregnant, she moved in with me and I took care of every expenses till the baby was born and up till this moment I still cater for everything. I later traveled & met with her family, met her dad since her mum is late since she was a little girl. Due to the negative story she fed her dad about me and about my inability to attend the burial and about me not giving her money then, her dad already thought bad about me, but after I met him and subsequently, he discovered it was not my fault and that I was not that type of person who could do such because he knows the type of daughter he has and her stubborn nature.
Since then she's been disturbing me about the marriage plans and it's been my wish to take her to the alter, but as I said, a lot of things have prevented it, most especially finance, and also our frequent squabbles whenever I'm broke which happens temporarily at times. She doesn't give me peace of mind at all whenever I have little or no money and she stresses me so much and nags a lot and in fact when she was pregnant, there was a time she told me in anger that why don't I go and do money ritual. I was so shocked by this statement and told her I can never do rituals and if she's not ready to endure with me, she can go her way.
She keeps saying that after suffering while single, why should she continue suffering in marriage? To her she's already married. And by the way she's not even suffering at all because I do my best to provide everything we need. But just because of the recession issues we feel occasionally and because I don't have a car yet to measure up to her expectations and the type of lifestyle she aspires to, it becomes a problem because she's not patient enough. Because she has lived big life with her ex who even had a driver/many staff under his employment. I've called her bluff several times and told her as long as she's no longer with her ex, she must never talk about him to me.
I used to love her but she completely destroyed all the love I had for her with her behavior of constantly stressing me, constant nagging, no manner of approach at all, stubborn, talking anyhow, no self control whenever she's angry. There were times she uttered curses to me but later denied doing so. She talks anyhow at home and after saying things she's not supposed to say to me, she would sometimes deny saying them after realizing the gravity of her words. For her to apologize is a no no, she would most times never apologize to me for wrongs done. But I usually overlooked them.
If things are not too smooth financially for me, little or no sex for me. There was a time we never did it for SEVEN months.She always claimed she doesn't like sex but someone told me it's because she doesn't love me that's why she doesn't usually like to have sex with me. We are not even sexually compatible at all because she doesn't like it while I like it a lot. I've most times not enjoyed this relationship with her, I've only been enduring because of my baby because I don't want the baby to suffer but I think it's time to quit.
Nothing I do pleases her, no matter how I try, no matter how I hussle to provide for the home, no matter what I do, she will only pretend to appreciate it for a moment, after sometime she will condemn it and say I have done nothing. Last year December I rented another apartment, 2 bedroom nearer to where she works, because of the distance, so we relocated there, just to make her happy.
The main problem now is this. We live in a popular city in the south west. My mum lives in a popular city in the North Central. Just six days ago, the house where my mum lives, which I built for her more than ten years ago when I was more financially buoyant, the house was demolished by the government alongside many other houses in the whole area and as I'm writing this,my aged mother of over 65 years alongside the little nine years old boy living with her are currently outside in the rain in this harsh weather and rain. Many of our properties have been stolen by area boys and miscreants because the demolition took them unawares.
The value of the land and house alone which we lost due to the demolition is over FIVE MILLION NAIRA not to talk of other properties lost in the ensuing confusion. That house demolished is my only hope before it was demolished and my mum's only hope too. My mum has been sick for the past nine years or more and has been in and out of hospital constantly. I'm her only son, she just had two of us, myself and my elder sister and my elder sister is not in any position to assist since she's not working/still squatting with someone. So everything falls on me now. No help from anywhere, no family can help, and they've never helped before.
I can't allow my mum out in the cold & rain while I live in a two bedroom apartment and having a room all to myself, no way. So I told my woman everything that happened & I decided that I would bring my aged mother to the south west to live with us temporarily till I'm able to raise money to rent another place for her or probably get a bigger apartment where we can all live (if possible). Pls note that the house was demolished six days ago and as I write this, my aged mother and that our little nine years old boy are still outside in the rain & sun.
But I got the shock of my life when my woman whom I call my wife even though we're not officially married said she would never allow me bring my mum to live with us. She said it's over her dead body would she live with my mum because mother-in-laws can destroy marriages. I don't know what marriage she's trying to protect even when she never makes me happy but I still keep enduring her behavior. She said that she can't live with my mum because my mum is wicked. I was shocked. Mind you she has never met my mum before up till this moment as I write this! She only spoke to my mum on phone once. So how can you conclude someone you've never met is wicked?
I want all Nigerians to judge this matter before I do something terrible because I can never allow my mum to be outside in the rain with that little boy while a lady I've not even married lives comfortably in a two bedroom flat. I've told her I don't have any money yet to rent a place for my mum because just last month I spent over 150k to buy things in the house including baby clothes, her own clothes and household items just to make life comfortable for her. But she would never appreciate it.
I told her it's urgent and I need to first rehabilitate my mum before thinking of renting a place for her later but she told me to go rent a place for her and that she doesn't want my mum to live with us. So I now know she hates my mum, so how can I marry someone who doesn't love me and hates my mum? She hates my mother and says she's wicked even without having met her before just because of the story she heard about my mum that she didn't take care of me and my elder sister and I struggled for many years on my own, saw myself through school even when my juniors were already graduated & working. But does that concern my woman? Is she not still my mother no matter what? I just met her (my woman/wife) three years ago, so what concerns her about what happened in my family many years ago?
I never wanted to bring my mum to live with us in the first place but this is an emergency situation and I can't help it and I'm now left with no other alternative and I want all Nigerians to tell me if I've done the wrong thing by wanting to bring my mum here to save her life because right now her life is in danger. In fact she even sustained injuries on her leg on that day as they were demolishing the house and in the midst of the confusion while trying to save some properties.
She has hated my mum right from when we were dating, even without having met my mum and I remember there was a time I called my mum and as we discussed about my girl then, my mum now asked me which part of the town (my girl's town) she was from, so I told her I would ask my girl and get back to her. So I later asked my girl but instead of her to answer, she hissed and said: "foolish question". I was really seriously mad with her then for such remark.
Yes I know she's stubborn and I've seriously tried to tackle her behavior many times which is why she has even calmed down a bit since she knows I won't tolerate it. Now she's not even concerned about my mum's condition and up till now she has not even called my mum to commiserate with her over the loss. She never even bothered about the fact that it's my own money, my own millions of naira investment that just went down the drain with that demolition. She still insists she can't allow my mum stay with us, despite I told her that I would give my own room to my mum,so she can't inconvenience her in any way. The shocking thing is that instead of my woman to feel for me and also for my mum for this trying times for us, she rather told me point blank that it serves me right!
She said I abandoned her when her granny died, so it serves me right! I couldn't believe it, it was as if I was dreaming. Nigerians I'm so downcast right now, I can't believe my woman can be so heartless to this extent. Right now we're hardly on talking terms. She just minds her baby and leaves me to wallow in my pain and loss, what a cruel world! Nobody to console me in this pain and loss?
I've told her instead of my mum to be outside suffering in the rain, let her (my woman) sleep outside in the rain since I now know she doesn't love me. If she doesn't accept my mum, I would rather send her packing back to her father and rehabilitate my mum first. This is a woman I've not even married yet giving orders and trying to separate me from my family, so what will happen if after I don marry am finish? Wetin she nogo do?
I've decided to go bring my mum next week or upper week because I can't continue to let her suffer in the rain and with no roof over her head. It's either she accepts her or I'll send her back to her father.
Pls Nigerians let me know your advice and what you think. I wrote this with tears in my eyes. Sorry for taking so much of your time. Thanks in advance.
so the men that shouted at the back of the bus to stop the tout from further harassment don't have self control? you that is claiming holy don't have del control?
honestly I for Don call you mumu for generalising. see the nonsense you typed.
do you think is every guy that has time to look at girls not to talk of praising their beauty. if you fine, it adds nothing to my life, unless we are related one way or another.
at least she won't wait for a man before she eats, fix hair....buy pants, buy pads, eat chicken...
there are some that expect their boyfriends (a man) to pay them salaries and they are even very proud.
nice one to the lady, if her father can't take care of her she will take care of herself rather than tag a guy "broke" and "stingy" because the guy refuses to buy pvssy
passey: And how many girls on social media are millionaires in the making? Do you not all breath the same air and meet the same standards for education and employment? And if they were to be millionaires in the making, would that make you girls millionaires? abi Millionaire too na gender role? How many people of the 180 million denizens of Nigeria are millionaires? and why should all men be Millionaires just to make women feel good? I don't get the value system we are working to project as young men and women! I really don't get it.
when her whole family can not afford to buy a piece of chicken she will look for a man to buy it for her if the man says "NO" she tags him broke or stingy. na hungry dey catch them.
DouglasH92: I've noticed that a lot of Nigerian men, especially on social media always make excuses for their financial inadequacies. Instead of them to keep quiet and focus on becoming financially well off, they will reveal their financial insecurities by demonizing and lambasting any woman who says she would rather date a guy who has money. Most times you will see them making comments like "Women are hoes" Women are gold diggers." "Women should focus on love and not on the financial state of the man" You will even see them saying that women should try to manage with a man who is earning low and should stop aiming too high in terms of the financial capacities of the man they want because money isn't all that matters.
I have also noticed that these kind of men are usually lazy. Most of their time is spent on social media arguing, insulting women and complaining about how women love money so much. And these men are usually frustrated, broke and low achievers. It's not surprising that they are in the financial state they are in. Real men who have money don't complain like they do. They know how the world works and they work hard to be financially successful and they let their financial success speak for them and attract whatever kind of women they want. They don't spend all day on social media casting aspersions on women who prefer a certain kind of lifestyle and men who understand and can provide such lifestyle.
Seriously, if you are such a man I feel really sorry for you. No amount of whining and complaining will change your condition. Leave social media and go and hustle. If you have money you won't have time to worry about what women want.
dangotesmummy: I remember jisting with a married woman in a business centre and she said she used to pray everyday that God should give her husband money,but one day she came into the house unexpectedly because she forgot th second keys to her shop sobshe had to quickly enter bike to rush back home and she was in the corridor when she was hearing her husband's voice jisting with his friend (a visitor that came to the house) that if he has money or if God blesses him with money he will date Cynthia because the babe dey bursty bla bla bla and the man was like ahan shebi your wife fine na,he said yes,she's a good woman though but she no too get burst the way Cynthia does.if he get money he go spend on women o.I like women.the only thing making me to face his wife is lack of adequate money as he would have loved to have
So the woman who was eaves dripping tip toed back outside so that her shoe will not make sound and now enters as though she was just coming in for the first time pretending not to hear their conversation
Immediately, the man and his friend changed topic when she walked in and said madam welcome o,I was just talking about you now with your husband, she too was smiling sheeepisly and said I hope its something good o,he said most definetly
They all laughed and she picked her keys and left
As soon as she got back to her shop,she made up her mind to change her prayer point to the direct opposite that God shouldn't give her husband money.she prefers him broke , forced to be faithful because of circumstances and them managing than for him to be financially comfortable and then he will be carrying black white,orobo,lepa etc about
She said anytime the husband prays before he goes out,especially about financial prosperity she goes back and counter it because Its obvious her husband has the propensity to cheat/back stab her
When she said everything I said its well,you know better than anyone what works for your family.
Na wa o. I support the man in the op....to me the wife is selfish.
But this your own story weak me...even with sentiments it would be hard not to see the pain the woman carries....she try she no even confront her mumu husband.
but it would be better to confront the man and let his prayer for finance go to God...lol.
KingsJohnson: Lol! omo see painment of lyf. Dude next tym if u dnt knw or hv knowledge of an issue at hand, it will be beta for u to kip silent n be thought a fool Dan open up n clear all doubt.
Common sense is not common brodaly
lol I Don dey suspect say you be absolute olodo. and you no disappoint....you see me post anything on the topic? go back and check the monikers you quoted. the thing is, i was expecting the person that was condemning the response of others to give a perfect answer... but I guess your skull is empty.
idiot condemning others but doesn't have a single atom in his skull....... certified mumu.
na your own worst pass...
just dey quote people wey get something to say with your rubbish post...
if you know it why not explain rather bash others...
kunyeo: We were in a busy market somewhere in Osun-state when I curiously drew my friend’s attention to a store. There was this mother relaxing in the background, obviously exhausted from struggling to sell her wares of some dry fish and other condiments. There was also a young boy of about 14 years. Equally present was also this young girl of about 9 years, who appeared to be totally in charge, with such dexterity in attending to customers, that she would make any world-class salesman green with envy. I pointed out to my friend again, to compare the level of maturity displayed by the siblings: One already adept at a basic ingredient of survival and successful business： marketing, while the boy fiddles unconcernedly with his mobile phone.
Even in most urban homes, have you observed the common setting of where the daughter is there in the kitchen helping the mum, while the boy is languidly reclining on the parlour sofa, surfing leisurely through tv channels, only to be called to the table when food is served .The underlying belief of our world being a man’s world is partly responsible for this.
If a parent has to send a child on an errand, who do you think would be readily sent？A female child of course? Have you also observed the level of strictness deplored in training a girl-child? ‘Sit like a lady’, ‘Don’t shout like that, you are a lady’ ‘Be accommodating, you are going to be a mother one day’ and many others to give our girl-child prim and proper upbringing. For the male child however, we all seem to give them such free rein, ably supported by the usual refrain-‘He is a man oo’.
Ironically, a basic skill such as cooking, an essential skill for every human, which we have culturally ceded to female gender, under the excuse that the future wife would take charge, is lost forever. We seem to forget that an average human would spend 25% of his income in a lifetime on food. So, what stops him from mastering its preparation, where basic skills such as measurement, time management, patience, planning, multitasking, and creativity etc.are imbibed.
At such a young age, the the boy-child grows with the “boss attitude” of always being served, which doesn’t work out that way in an adult world. It is even worse if the child is an only son or child.
There were times I had to check myself whenever I noticed what I considered the highhandedness of my wife in her dealing with my first daughter. It looks as if she is a perfectionist, who wants her to get everything right, but on a second thought, I realized it is for her own good and that what we were often told as children, that we should make mistakes and learn is not entirely true, as some mistakes are too fatal to be made or allowed.
Now even in school, how do the two genders fare ？Let me share an experience. We were trying to constitute a Student Representative Council in an A level college in Lagos, when we were faced with the stark reality that if we were to strictly follow the set down criteria（responsibilty,discipline etc）to choose members of this council, no boy would make the team. In the end, we had to use a quota system of ceding the position of the Secretary General to one of the the boys！
Many years down the line, the girl seamlessly fits into her role of being responsible mothers, while the boys are still grappling with basics of manhood, not to talk of even being a responsible father. No, wonder we see nowadays that the maturity of a 17 year old girl is almost equal to that of a 40 year old man!
Our environment has changed in such a short time, so drastically that skills that were in high demand some thirty years ago are no longer so.With every passing day, it is becoming glaring that raw physical strength which gave men professional edge in the past is no longer so.Traditional professions such as Medicine are not so hot again, or have even been hybridized into more attractive professions, where intelligence, skills, creativity hold sway. .
Feminism despite all its flaws has engendered a lot of positives. More than before, girl-child is now exposed to the same opportunities as the male and are excelling. You needn’t go far to see the growing number of female becoming presidents of countries and corporations. Even in the work place where every career is synonymous with marketing, a female with all the imbued soft skills definitely has an edge.
On the home front, the battle even gets fiercer .Where men used to hold sway being traditionally acclaimed as the bread winner, there has been a reversal of role, with men now playing the second fiddle and men now being the ‘house-husbands’. Where a man is not too comfortable with this new role, he resorts to a cowardly option, by unleashing violence on his more successful spouse, thus the reason for the growing number of domestic abuse we have today.
In a new world of objective assessment of outcomes, women are definitely going to take charge and control things and a quota may have to be put in place to accommodate the male! Don’t blame the female, nature just has a way of not allowing a vacuum. Where men through faulty upbringing, have become irresponsible, seeing life only from the purview of making money and pleasure, women have rightly stepped in.
The solution is very simple. Parents must just change their approach to parenting. Apply the same strict parenting, often given to the girl-child to the male-child!
Christianity Etc › Re: The Middle Path by Dcholeric: 12:29pm On Oct 14, 2017
