₦airaland Forum

So sorry ma'am. May God strengthen and comfort you abundantly. May you always find good memories you both shared to cheer you up and celebrate his life.

Mcbussy:
that's great...keep it up

Thanks man.

And you, great combo - psychology and social work. What does your work entail??

Mcbussy:
Well, I guess that is ur finding...I have never really worked on d subconscious mind. I am a Psychologist and Social worker.

What kind of therapist are you?... if you don't mind.

Ok, cool. I'm a Mind/Emotions/Health/ wellness Coach & Therapist

Mcbussy:
Okay,I get ur point...nobody can be too sure,but so far,nobody has ever come out to prove he has his parents memories. No scientific finding has proven it. If there's any,then u can please share d link cos I would love to learn new things.

I have never seen and recognised my parents childhood friends without an introduction from my parents. I have never had flashbacks of events that happened to my parents b4 I was born. I don't know about u,but for me,I didn't inherit my parents memory.

Well,I don't think u can relate cognitive functioning to memory. Its more like a processing power, its more like intelligence,and its quite different from memory.

The exact memory "tabula rasa" is about is the child's own experience. Not the ability to reason very critically or the fast thinking that's usually passed from intelligent parents to their offsprings.

Like I told you earlier, I agree with most of the points u made, it was just that small point... It was too general for me.

Also, while we may not remember our parent's memories that way, I believe we subconsciously remember a lot of things in some form:life lessons, trauma, things that hurt our parents, limiting beliefs, empowering beliefs and perception. The similarities in family traits, patterns, compulsions, addictions, dysfunctions can only mean that some sort of memories are 'remembered' and passed on.

I believe children carry memories/pain of their parent's or grand parent's trauma in some form. I see this in therapy every time. I am a therapist.

Our body has records of these things in some form. Our body is a biographer.

Mcbussy:
Op,nice job....but I'm gonna argue about John Locke's tabula rasa.

Truly,cognitive traits and capabilities are passed from parents to offspring. But what John Locke was saying is dat a child comes to the world with a blank slate (tabula rasa) i.e blank mind...the child's experience in life is written on that slate and therefore is one on the key factors that develop d individuals personality.

If you look at urself. your childhood experience, the kind of environment u grew up in helped shape who you are today. Every individual responds to d world according to his own experience, views and perception.

Definitely, parents can't pass their own life experience to their ofsprings through the genes. If that was the case, every Jew born in present day would naturally hate Germans even without hearing the world war 2 stories. African Americans would still be feeling the pains of their slave ancestors... Lolz

So I think the scientists that related genetics with "tabula rasa" must av had d wrong perception of what John Locke meant. Memory and perception cannot be passed by genes. It is possible to pass cognitive capabilities and patterns.

While I agree with most of your post, I have an issue with you making a categorical statements like "Memory and perception cannot be passed by genes." How can anyone be sure of that? Even the best scientists are still tring to make sense of the world.

You say memories and perceptions cannot be passed on, whereas it is possible to pass on cognitive capabilities and patterns?

Capabilitiies and patterns and other abilities and proclivities, dysfunctions annd diseased that are passed on are still some form of memories aren't they? The brain 'remembers' the habit/pattern/capability, even though it's mostly subconscious, right? To me that's memory. Same thing with perception, if we 'remember' then what is remembered affects how we perceive things (perception) and what we believe and ultimately our behaviour. Also, if memory, perception and beliefs cannot be passed on then what is the essence of heredity? Is it not to help the succeeding generation survive and thrive and learn from their ancestors?

I have no doubt that they are transferable, even though there are still many grey areas in our knowlegde of the process and modalities of what is 'remembered' and what is not.

My 2cents.

Hi Kanwulia/KanwuliaJara,

I'm so page-25 late but because you asked for our opinion about you, I will oblige you.

I may be wrong, but you may be in the manic arm of bipolar/ manic-depressive disorder. You are smart, you are intelligent, you are daring, you are humorous but something is missing - you have no boundaries and you respect none, sometimes at great risk to yourself.

Here are some info you can read up, perhaps it may help:

Bipolar disorder is also called ‘manic depression’. Manic-depression: Alternating moods of abnormal highs (mania) and lows (depression). Called bipolar disorder because of the swings between these opposing poles in mood. A type of depressive disease. Sometimes the mood switches are dramatic and rapid, but most often they are gradual. Bipolar disorder is often a chronic recurring condition.

What types are there?

Bipolar I

Some people with Bipolar I will have only manic episodes, although most will also have periods of depression.

Bipolar II: milder than bipolar I

Mania

Mania is an extreme sense of well-being, energy and optimism. It can be so intense that it affects your thinking and judgement. You may believe strange things about yourself, make bad decisions, and behave in embarrassing, harmful and - occasionally - dangerous ways.

Like depression, it can make it difficult or impossible to deal with life in an effective way. A period of mania can affect both relationships and work. When it isn't so extreme, it is called 'hypomania'.

If you become manic, you may notice that you are:

very happy and excited
irritated with other people who don't share your optimistic outlook
feeling more important than usual. 
full of new and exciting ideas
moving quickly from one idea to another
hearing voices that other people can't hear.
full of energy
unable or unwilling to sleep
more interested in sex.  
making plans that are grandiose and unrealistic
very active, moving around very quickly
behaving unusually
talking very quickly - other people may find it hard to understand what you are talking about
making odd decisions on the spur of the moment, sometimes with disastrous consequences
recklessly spending your money
over-familiar or recklessly critical with other people
less inhibited in general.
Euphoria
Inflated self-esteem
Poor judgment
Rapid speech
Racing thoughts
Aggressive behavior
Agitation or irritation
Increased physical activity
Risky behavior
Spending sprees or unwise financial choices
Increased drive to perform or achieve goals
Increased sex drive
Decreased need for sleep
Easily distracted
Careless or dangerous use of drugs or alcohol
Frequent absences from work or school
Delusions or a break from reality (psychosis)
Poor performance at work or school


If you are in the middle of a manic episode for the first time, you may not realise that there is anything wrong – although your friends, family or colleagues will. You may even feel offended if someone tries to point this out to you. You increasingly lose touch with day-to-day issues – and with other people's feelings. 


In a manic episode - these will tend to be grandiose beliefs about yourself - that you are on an important mission or that you have special powers and abilities.

Other symptoms:
Depressive:

Low or 'depressive' feelings of intense depression and despair

Silent treatments (the bad kind) are subconscious habits learnt from dysfunctional homes, drama-filled homes and homes that have poor communication skills. Most people that use the extreme kind of ST, learnt to use it to survive overwhelming pain, abuse, confusion, threats, danger in their childhood - situations where you are better off silent, where speaking would bring u punishment, pain or ridicule.. Most times it is a coping mechanism for some people that had tough/intimidating/dysfunctional childhood experiences.

Sad thing is, they learnt to use it to survive danger or pain in childhood, but continue to act as if that old threat is still there when provoked or triggered in adulthood. In essence, they are not just responding to what you did or said. You triggered something deeper.

Nice one OP.

Here are my own lessons:

1. That only a bad workman quarrels with his tools.

2. That for a good carpenter, half-inch nails are no excuse for bad workmanship.

Goke7:
I am also of the opinion that keshi should go but not only him, some players as well including the likes of uche, emenike, onazi, ambrose, omeruo [until he improves], echejeile. We think these guys are very good players but sorry they are not, if the next coach continues with these players, nothing i tell you will change. We need to inject younger players especially from the local league who are hungry for succes.

We've been deceiving ourselves, we longer have quality players abroad even some of the players people feel keshi left out are not as good as we think. Having a home based super eagles is the way forward.

I agree with the essence of what you said viz that we build a new team. I also think that about 7 players in the present team be retained to fight for shirt in the new team. Get a good home based team purely based on merit and hunt down our best players in the world and bring them into the team while we develop our league and solidify and nurture the youth teams. Plus, we need a great coach.

Goke7:
with your very long post, still you were not able to defend uche properly, if uche was the best striker as you stated, he should have gotten a brace against S.A. or at least a goal, nearly cannot kill a bird, if you can make excuses for uche, I can also make excuses for keshi but we don't need those long stories now:

Bottom Line: They all failed Nigerians whether it is keshi, uche and all players and staff that were on duty period. No one should be excluded!

Your opinion my bruv and I respect that. But the buck stops at the coach (or Leader) that selects and manages. It's why they are fired and hired and this will not be an exception.

Goke7:
The guy is only man enough to admit that keshi made errors in the match against S.A. why do you want to hang him over that? All the supporters of uche should also come out to admit that uche did not merit his comeback to the eagles after all, they told us that he was the messiah, Let them come out and explain why he failed to deliver when it matters most.

1. First, if you are a good coach and the fans want to force a player who you don't want on u, you stand your ground or resign. He stood his ground but his results got worse with time leading to the revolt by fans and his sack, and eventual reinstatement by GEJ. By this time the game was almost up.

2. Uche is a good player and has served this country well. There are many good players that are not being invited by Keshi for reasons best known to him: Martins, Uche Kalu,Haruna Lukman, Iheanacho etc. There are better defenders and choices in this country of 170 million people than Egwuekwe, aged Ambrose and an out-of-form Omeruo and an average Agbim. A coach who is quarelling with or not using his best players and not producing results at the same time is calling for a revolt by the fans and that's what happened.

3. We needed a miracle in Congo and to win our last match at home with SA. He brought in Uche, who played well and scored in the first game (a penalty) which we won 2-0, though we were poor generally. Uche was also his best striker and tormentor-in-chief against SA, as Musa had a bad a game and Emenike was unfit as usual (what coach allows unfit players to play at the expense of other good players he should have called up or those on the bench? It beats me). One goal and one assist in two games is not a bad statistic for a striker my bro.

Bottomline: the buck stops with Keshi and the Master that called him back. Leave Uche or the fans out of this!

buskie13:
u dey mind de guy?

supporting a useless coach like he was paid to do so.....this flop come pain am to say he come dey yarn dust......nanxix

My brother, the thing tire person o. Anyway, I don tell am my mind. No time.

The Yes-man is the enemy! Our fathers were right.

thegoodjoehunt3:
[b]It is people like you that are the problem. You can still write Coach Keshi is clueless tactically and technically.

I am sorry. You are wrong. First of all, that man worked under a crazy condition. He was terminated his job twice during his reign. Worked without pay for months and lacked talents. What do you want him to do? His mistake was succumbing to pressure.

Let is start with a tactical point. The Coach of South Africa is sound technically. I am sure you would agree that. Did you watch how Coach Keshi made the SA Coach's playbook look like thrash. If Muisa took his chances, we would have been three goals up. Uche squandered lots of goals, including a one on one chance.

So, tell me how he is tactically clueless?

My problem with Coach Keshi is simple. I supported him because he had his approach to the game and followed it. He succumbed to pressure. He brought back Uche. Giving Aluko that run would have been better. Emenike should have been dropped and Aaron Samuel should have started.

That is where he failed. Succumbing to pressure from guys like you. Please we outplayed South Africa in that game. A tactical and clueless coach can not. So you guys make real points.[/b]

We have heard you. I will come back to you when we start building a new team and new/good/great players start emerging. 170 million Nigerians and a Coach chooses an awkward and slow Egwuekwe, an unfit Omeruo and an out of form Emenike. Benches his best creative midfielder, Aluko. Sorry for you o. SA took us to the cleaners. I don't even want to argue this with u. We only dominated the game towards the last 10 mins @ 2 goals down and with Aluko's introduction.

Well, I saw all these before and cried out here: https://www.nairaland.com/1810220/opinion-keshi-should-not-given

But your likes would have none of that. Now, that the worst has happened, the shame should pass round to all Keshi sychophants too. Abeg collect ya own joor!

chucky234:
Even in the match against Congo Uche played badly with the penalty he scored his only positive contribution, twisting and dribbling doesnt make one a good player, if in doubt ask Dennilson of Brazil.
The mere fact that Uche is rated €2.5m shows he is a mediocre player.

Read my writeup slowly so you can understand me fully before responding.
Who said only twisting and turning makes a good player.

With a frontline of Emenike (off form) and Musa (bad day), Uche did well bruv. He was the best forward on the day.

Well, your opinion. Good day.

Uche's talent glowed in this match pls. His ball control was sublime. He held the ball well, dribbled, twisted and turned well in a parked 18, his link-up play was good. For the goal, he created space for himself and hit the bar and Aluko scored the rebound. Yea, there were some mistakes but who says we need a saint or Mr Perfect? We need good players and Uche is one hell of a good player! Apart from Aluko, there was no better player than Uche on that pitch yesterday. Coach Keshi, not calling him up, and some other in form players was a huge mistake and in bad taste. Naija fans were right.

So put your blame where it should be: Keshi + GEJ!

You, of all people, still have the gumption to write this. You spilt blood on NL defending a clueless, tactically and technically plus managerially handicapped coach like your life depended on it, even when the signs were staring you in the face.

Well, since it's the season of blame, I, Deemain, hereby blame you thegoodjoehunt3, Keshi and GEJ for this atrocious fall from grace. Without men like you all over this country, our football would have reached the stratosphere by now.

Abeg chop your own shame. You deserve it. And while you are at it, apologize to NL sports section for your sins, repent and amend your ways.

Nansense 2.0

thegoodjoehunt3:
[b]Coach Keshi Failed Nigerians

I am writing this with a broken heart. Today's match against South Africa at Uyo was supposed to be a winning game. The signs was there. However, Coach Keshi like all other previous coaches fell into the same problem. Yielding to pressure to stick to the so called Super Eagles.

At Uyo, we watched a team that showed promise. There were players there that could fill in the regions we were lacking. Most notably, Emem Eduok. His movement and brilliance around the eighteen yard box was something we lacked a long time. It is sad, we had such a player and he never got his opportunity.

The biggest mistake of the night was Coach Keshi not giving Aluko a chance to start. Sone Aluko was the reason we had a chance to turn the match around. He brought in spark to the team in the game against Sudan. The second leg match. He was refreshing, creative and played with passion. He had the same impact in the match against Congo. I thought the lad had done enough to merit a starting role. Why he did not start? I can not understand. If we started with Aluko, the game would have been different.

How Emenike gets a chance to play terrible and merit his starting shirt? Beats my imagination. I remember during the last game, I hoped whoever came on for Emenike should score and take his place. It happened that Aaron Samuel came in for Emenike and scored.

Why Aaron Samuel did not start? Shocking. Finally, Onazi might be a hard worker, but he is technically deficient. He leaves the simple to go for he extraordinary and achieves worse than the ordinary. Joseph Nathaniel should have started.

Coach Keshi developed a habit of letting players playing poorly continue. He had done a good job, raising new stars for the team. However, when he needed them the most, he did not use them.

If I am correct, Coach Keshi did not use his third substitution. It was clear, Emenike out for Emem Eduok. That is why I started this article pointing out Emem Eduok. Coach Keshi not making that change was disappointing. If there is any lesson he should learn from this match, always punish poor performers by benching them.

Ahmed Musa, the thunder that will fire you is still doing press up. Nansense.
https://www.nairaland.com/2005732/coach-keshi-failed-nigerians[/b]

You, of all people, still have the gumption to write this. You spilt blood on NL defending a clueless, tactically and technically plus managerially handicapped coach like your life depended on it, even when the signs were staring you in the face.

Well, since it's the season of blame, I, Deemain, hereby blame you thegoodjoehunt3, Keshi and GEJ for this atrocious fall from grace. Without men like you all over this country, our football would have reached the stratosphere by now.

Abeg chop your own shame. You deserve it. And while you are at it, apologize to NL sports section for your sins, repent and amend your ways.

Nansense 2.0

DrGroove:
Your advice would have been: SEND HER PACKING!!!!!

That's your opinion and mouth, not mine Dr.

Ma'am, you appear intelligent and good so I'm going to address u as one.

Your options are not A or B as you've made it seem. Have you had a showdown or open communication talk with him? Have u gone to pastors, counsellors or coaches/therapists? I purposely used plurals ma. Have you drawn boundaries with him and kept them if he crossed them? Have you asked him what's missing in your marriage now that's making him want to ruin everything? Have u told him the cost? Have you told him how deeply you are hurting and asked him where he is hurting in your marriage with a view to both of you retracing your steps?

Note: I have listed these few options believing you are a good commnicator or will learn how to before you talk with him.

My point is Smart people know that options are not just 2, they are actually many. List your options, work through them. If nothing else works, which I doubt, since you said he is a good man, then you can come to other 'risky' options. Till then try to save it first before destroying it as you are planning to.

I say No to cheating by either men or women. I only gave u this advice because you are the party looking for a solution. If your husband was the one who posted seeking for help, my advice would be different.

thegoodjoehunt3:
If Coach Keshi wants to bring in a player from Malta, people will shout.

By the way, replacing Mikel is not easy. Technically brilliant players are difficult to find. Look at Italy, since 2000 until today, they have not been able to replace Pirlo. Xavi and Xabi Alonso was irreplaceable until Thiago Alcantara came along.

Super Eagles have had very great players but only Finidi George, Kanu and Mikel have showed technical brilliance in the Super Eagles. It is hard to explain this quality. I never watched Coach Keshi play in midfield, but I heard he was that sort of player.

They spend more time reading the game than playing it.

So it is not just about scouting players.

Bros Keshi was a defender that liked to overlap not a midfielder please. And don't insult the memory of such fine footballers with this inane comparison with Mikel abeg you.

MadCow1:
Now this is a whole nother dimension..


This is not a PDP or APC thing. I wouldnt walk down that street with you..

But the media we are talking about here is entertainment mostly. CNN, BBC, etc are generic and SA has no content there. The Local news on DSTV are mostly from local stations; AIT, STV, NTA and co.. So this media propaganda line dosent quite click with me.. Sorry!

I don't give a hoot about party too! It so happens that PDP has been in power for the last 15 years - that's why I called them out.

Now to the main point. Would a serious nation that understands the power of media allow another country such air waves control? Would China, US, Russia, UK, even SA allow it? We do not understand media at all. Programs that champion SA way of life, values and culture, fashion, music, drama, morals, stories, sexuality etc are being bombarded us and you are calling it just entertainment? Really?

Guy, media is a big deal!

Now look at this:

http://businesstech.co.za/news/media/54524/we-cant-continue-with-multichoice-monopoly-minister/

Even in SA, they understand monopoly, exploitation and protecting their citizens.

It is well with my country.

MadCow1:
You cant touch a company like Multichoice..


Cable TV is not part of your constitutional right. The worst the government can do is to open up a cable company. And on that front, I wish them luck.

That's not entirely true. Media is a big deal. Cable TV is colonization (culture, religion, moral, values, beliefs, propaganda, agenda, politics) by another means. Any serious government would have checkmated this colonization of Nigeria by SA a long time ago.

Laughing at folks saying it's all business. Hahaha!

Can you imagine this happening in China or America? Another nation taking complete control of your cable tv air waves and space? They know the meaning of Media. Most of us think it's just watching football or movies. Giant of Africa my foot!

It's why most strategic politicians have media (TV and Newspapers/magazines) arms. They understand the game.

PDP is clueless on this score. SMH

#sayNotoSAcolonization

Keshi, that's not news. We know all our institutions, including sports, are in shambles. Our greedy and inept politicians and leaders have insured that. What's news is the level of technical, tactical and managerial incompetence you displayed as a coach and manager on this particular assignment.

I had highlighted your shortcomings early on after the World Cup here.

https://www.nairaland.com/1810220/opinion-keshi-should-not-given

Learn from your mistakes and become a better coach and man. Move on. Best wishes.

dedons:
oga na wa o.



There's nothing like "stupidest" in English language...


It's "most stupi.d" sir.

My guy you are wrong!! So wrong!! English has evolved. Both are acceptable. Google is your friend.

The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language (4th ed.), for example, gives the forms as “stupid” … “stupider” … “stupidest.”

And this is not just about American English... H. W. Fowler’s Dictionary of Modern English Usage also gives the correct forms as “stupid” … “stupider” … “stupidest.”

Sacking Keshi = Great!
Hiring Amodu = Dumb!

Congrats TY Bello!

Just played your evergreen song: the Land is green!

Standing in the rain as the cloud goes grey... The thunder roars and the earth sinks...

I'm raising thanks for I know it's for my seeds to grow!

...For every tear and every seed I've sown the Lord of the harvest knows I'm reaping back a 100 fold. (Indeed you have reaped it!).

The harvest (twins) is ready cos the Lord of the harvest told me so. It's green and it's all mine.

The land is green, it's green oh oh oh
The land is green, it's green can't you see?

Now this is what I call a prophetic song! This is manifestation.

Costa the Assassin!

Hazard on steriods! Possessed man today! Can't do no wrong.

johnstar:
ozil na scam abeg, 42milla waste of moni

Arsenal will do well to send him back to Germany. I think he's low on confidence and self-belief. Such a talent. Such a waste. Painful to watch him struggle.

Anyway, na Gunners problem bi dat.

Up Blues!

Ex-gunner

Chelsea beating Arsenal since 1832!!
Done and dusted!

My advice is: "If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck.' If she cannot see herself having agbero-like children and agbero visitors and agbero problems for the rest of her life then she should just kill this lust now before it consumes her.

That's how Robin Givens ruined her promising life and almost lost it lusting (or was it loving?) after Mike Tyson (a real American agbero, the real street himself) at the peak of his career and fame. Time told her what common sense couldn't tell her in the beginning: "you can take a boy away from the hood but you can't take the hood away from the boy."

2 words too much for the wise.

ISpiksDaTroof: Well, contrary to your accusations I do not hate Ibos. For what? Sure, out of all the groups in Nigeria, when it comes to monetary transactions I wouldn't trust them farther than I could throw them, but that doesn't mean I hate them.

Before PDP agents attacked NL and wiped off most of our old posts--- like you can attest to--- I usually came on here in neutrality. But, your ibo brothers would not let me be. Constantly attacking whatever views they deemed unpopular. Tell me, who boasts, chests beats, and constantly antagonizes others on here more than your kin? I state facts as I see them and if my saying things like " Ibos are as religiously and ethnically intolerant like the Hausas they love to condemn" or "Nigerians should call the bluff of the Ibos and vote out this criminal govt" is what makes you think I hate yall, then, hey....

But rest assured, I don't. Yall just need to do some character searching and stop irritating others so much with your attitude.

I would have loved to spar with you and really debate this out but I do not have the time now and do not see the need.

I'll leave you with this: hate begets hate, pain begets pain, hurting people hurt people. This saying was true in 1966 and during that regrettable war and is still true today on NL and in our lives. By your bias and obvious hate you perpetuate the hate.

We are all connected. When we hate others we hate ourselves inadvertently, and worse, we sow seeds of hate.. Every action is a seed. The seeds of hate sown by our fathers in this country is still growing. We must find creative ways to stop them now.

Only few strong people are able to rise above the miasma of the hate/pain/hurt cycle. You disempower yourself when you engage your intelligence in causing pain. The empowering thing is to speak life to others. Extricate yourself from this trap. Love instead.

My 2 cents to you.

And this is for some e-warrior reading this too: Igbo, Yoruba, etc - when we hate, hate grows in us. Let's let go. Forgive. Grow. Love.