PeaceJoyLove:

A total stranger who does not use her brain in the public will be slammed. If my sister didint use hers too, she would be slammed same as me. So, I respect myself in public. You are changing what you wrote, and we can revisit it anytime. I have just told you and take it into your head, you are not qualified to give virginity in marriage suggestions or advices if you weren't one when you got married. How can you say you have been in marriage and that you know it is or it is not what will make a marriage a perfect one. Please, let those who were virgins when they entered their husbands' houses talk. You are not qualified. If you push it further, you will have yourself to be blamed. Next time, choose a topic you can air your opinion on. You weren't a virgin, so shut the crap up. Give advices on how to be a good wife as a non virgin. That, you are qualified for. And you have huge number of audience. Why dabble into virgins' matter. A beg, shift to one side. I am proud of girls who are virgins in marriage. If you don't want to be slammed again, shut the crap up.

Guy take it easy. Abi you know this woman from somewhere? At no point did she insult you. The true test of virtue and manliness is in the way we address and treat others. Go back and read her initial post. You do zero justice to your moniker, and quite frankly you are very rude. Learn some manners.

I was at this wedding. But what does she mean by 15 years of 25? Is she limiting their marriage to 25 years?

This is sad. As much as you can, avoid moving around in the wee hours and late at night. May God console her family. I hope the husband does not abort their emigration plans out of grief. They really need a fresh start now.

When I read about this redpill thing, I can honestly relate, because most ladies today are poor intellectually and morally. But there are still some good ones. I got lucky with my wife. She has been a blessing. There are still some good ones out there.

Whether he is a soldier or not is immaterial. NO ONE should eat from a shovel. Then again, there's probably more to the story.

I had an experience years ago that gave me a different perspective on this issue. This young lady started working in the accounts department of my office and I fancied her and befriended her. She was beautiful, smart and good natured, but I noticed she had bad breath everyday. I finally worked up the courage to tell her during lunch one day and she opened up and told me it was a chronic problem she had endured since she was a teenager. According to her she had tried every remedy under the sun including doctors but nothing worked. She said she had lived like a hermit for a long time, avoiding social gatherings because of it. But the part of it that broke my heart was when she said she lived in mortal fear of the embarrassment of someone telling her. She was crying so much that she told me she would just go home from the lunch break. That was the last I saw her. She stopped coming to work without officially resigning and she wouldn't pick anyone's calls either. I sent her a WhatsApp message to ask if our conversation had anything to do with her abandoning her job and she said she couldn't face me again. She politely asked me not to contact her again. I felt so bad about this for months. I actually kept checking her Facebook page discreetly to be sure she was OK because she mentioned having suicidal thoughts sometimes because of the bad breath.

That's a sloth.

Modified-- It is a slow Loris like some have postulated and not a sloth. I just read up on them. The world is an amazing place.

The thread is quiet. Maybe I should bite the bullet and set things rolling. I'll have to be vague though as my madam is a very private person.

So, about the fifth year of our marriage all hell broke loose and the devil decided to add jara for us. A close family member of my wife, out of jealousy decided to frame her and I bought the whole thing. The framing was very elaborately done sha, but that's no excuse. When my own family found out, they were enraged. Called me weak for not ending things asap. Meanwhile, my wife was newly pregnant and we both didn't know.

Thank God, the truth came out, thanks to the framing family member's precocious ten year old son. Meanwhile, I had already caved in to family pressure and contacted a divorce lawyer. The truth came out before I could proceed and I spent the better part of the rest of the year convincing my wife that I was sorry. She said she was mostly pained by the fact that I believed someone else over her.

Another thing I'm grateful for is that her dad never found out. Her mum did but she kept it to herself and just prayed. God bless that woman. Anyway, it took a while during which my eyes were opened to the fact that I was actually married to a very good woman. She forgave me me, then early the following year, she called me and said she was losing faith in our marriage and wanted out. Ha! Anyway, long story short we are good now and funny enough our marriage has come out stronger but I learnt some major lessons.

1. Trust your gut, and trust what you know about your spouse.
2. As a man, humility is not weakness. Admitting you are wrong is also not weakness.
3. Try as much as you can to keep third parties, family especially out of your marriage issues.

9ja007:




Thanks for your response and efforts put in place to commenced the above topic concerning challenges we the married men are facing.

I'm 100% available to learn and contribute.

Thanks for the advice to take out my phone number. I dont know how to go about it. Out of curiosity I just googled my phone number, my last post at nairaland and phone number came out and I dont like that.

Please any idea how I can take down my phone number from my previous post?

Go to the post and click on the modify button beneath it. You can then edit. I quoted your post so I'm going to have to do the same thing. Cheers.

stupidity:
una just deh use marriage fear person.


I can’t use my money to marry someone and come to nairaland to start asking for advice. Before I pay that bride price, I’ll bring a contract for her to sign, “you must not torment me”

Maybe both parties should sign it. The thing about marriage though is that you can never tell what kind of issues will come up. But that attitude of 'using my money to marry someone ' is wrong in my opinion. Sounds like you are buying property.
@9ja007 please take out your phone number from the other post for security reasons.

Hi guys. This one is strictly for the men, married ones especially. Single guys can drop in and learn though. I was inspired to start this thread by the large number of marriage issues seen on Nairaland. Perhaps if we men handle our end better, we'll be solving 50% of the problem right?

So let's talk, advice each other and learn. Issues with our wives, kids, money, jobs, families, intimacy...everything really. I would have loved to tag the married men on Nairaland but I don't know who is married or not. Anyone can help with this.

9ja007

9ja007:


@Dehindepgenius
Good morning sir, thanks for the above unbiased and inteligent response you rendered on the above issue. I'm glad the OP got the needed advice and he had worked things out with the wife, also thanks to the nairaland family for helping out.

Personally I'm going through a similar situation with my wife if not more severe. Our communication channel had broken down for the past three months now and we are about getting a divorce.

I will like to talk with someone like you for your unbiased advice and third opinion if possible.

I sent you an email via dehindep@gmail.com on the 2nd of January 2020 but it wasn't delivered.

I can be reached... thanks as I await to hear from you.

I am so sorry to read about your marital troubles. Sometimes wearing the pants is tough business, but we do what we can as men. I'd like to keep our interactions strictly in Nairaland, and if you don't mind that, then let's talk here. I will really be glad to weigh in on this because I learnt a lot from my own marriage. Early in its fifth year my marriage experienced a storm I didn't think we'd make it out of, but we are here and going strong.

In fact, Strungup79's post has got me thinking of starting a thread for married men, where we can all talk, advice each other and learn. It might help to have a community of supportive men helping each other on through the turbulent waters of marriage. I'll start the thread and tag you. Cheers.

Chomzy19:


This fake guy again!! And people are even responding to his fake stories.

Mr. Cheater what happened to that your pregnant wife that you drive to the market.. yes, you remember the one that you married in 2018.

Foolish boy! Don't go and prepare for your exam.

Hehehe....thanks for digging this up. Nairaland is an interesting mix of all kinds of people. Makes life interesting though.

Ò

nijabazaar:
My problem now is that China has joined the foray. It tweeted support for Iran

For real? It's about to get hot. Trump is taking things too far in my opinion.

Jeez! Someone should teach that girl how to shave. This is an eyesore. More reasons to appreciate my wife.

boiz2men:
I really wish these ladies know that some guys see big asses like this as a bag of shit...

As in!

Kennedyiheme:
you never know.. she controls the house now remember?

You need to cool it bro. Do you know this man's wife from somewhere? Please tell us. Why are you hell bent on tearing their marriage apart? It is not inconceivable that the OP lied. The man has admitted he is wrong. Frankly, he reminds me of a certain family member. Meanwhile, if the op's wife was your younger sister, would you still take the same stance? Yes, there are horrible women there, but there are good one too. The mere fact that she bears all the financial responsibilities in the home should be commended. You sound like you hate women. Cool down.

Uyi168:
This man killed far more people than the ones he allegedly raised from the death...

How so? Curious.

Kirinwa:


See gbege. Why you go eat for first meeting? Ojukokoro

My brother no one asked whether I wan chop or not. I was practically ordered to eat, and given my earlier gaffe when I arrived, I no just argue.

This is exactly the reason I chose to remain a guest on Nairaland for so many years without registering. Can't engage every fool with warped ideologies. Finally registered because I felt the need to respond to a particular thread, and now that I'm here, I will not suffer fools gladly.

Things like this just make me grateful I'm a yoruba guy marrying a yoruba woman.

May God comfort the grieving.

I hope things go better at Old Trafford. Not very optimistic though.

Bunch of clowns.

micronut:


Source: https://naijalocals.com.ng/meeting-you-in-law-for-marriage-6-likely-questions-to-expect-as-a-guy/

My first meeting with my wife's parents was funny as hell. Thank God the old man has a sense of humor. I mistook him for the gardener, he was wearing gloves and trimming flowers when I arrived. I was like 'is your oga around?' He looked me over and said 'are you a clown or you just lack manners?' I realised who he was at that point. Then to worsen thing, at dinner I accidentally knocked a pitcher of water into his soup. My wife looked like she would faint. Today we are best buds. Inside life

The government should enact stricter penalties for paedophiles and back it up with action.

Can the OP tag this nauseating to warn off proud homophobes like me? Thank you.

milemimi93:
My First Date In 2020. What A Nigerian Lady Did.

What happened yesterday left me in shock.
I least expected it. Not from a Nigerian lady.

Yesterday I went to visit a lady in her state. Arriving her state, I told her I've dropped.
She texted me to go to an eatery and wait for her. I didn't want to spend much on her so I asked for an average eatery bought a drink and waited for her.
She came and told me she didn't like the place that it was crowded. She took me to one bigger eatery within there. Just as I entered the eatery I said to my self "I ain't spending more than 5k here". We sat and she called the waiter and asked me to make my order I told her to make first. She ordered for food and drinks for herself. I later ordered for mine. What I ordered outweigh hers in price because I said to myself "I can't spend less on me and more on a leech".

After eating we sat down to gist. Along the line I felt pressed and I went to the gent. Came back gist and it was time to go. I went to the waiter asked her how much the bill is. She said 11,600. I pulled out my purse to get my card I heard the waiter said "She has paid". I asked "She? who?" She said "the lady you followed paid". I was shocked and felt ashamed.

Since I was born, this is the first time a Nigerian girl has ever spent on me.

Something similar happened to me in Ado Ekiti back in 2007. We lost contact though. Pity.

The bride is beautiful. I wish them a happy married life.

Hello Everybody,
I'd like to thank you all for your support, all the advice, reprimands and rebuke. My only interest was saving my marriage which I felt was on the cusp of collapse. Things are being fixed as I write. It's been a case of misconstrued intentions and ultimately my wife is not an evil person. We burt each other by things that we didn't understand especially on my part. I love my wife dearly and it's never been about money. True, my wife currently earns more than I do and shoulders the bulk of the responsibility. I guess the pressure got to us both especially me for being unable to meet my financial obligations.
The story I posted was not real, but a representation of what I felt was going on to protect our identities. Truthwillout is my wife. Once again I thank you all. Right now we're trying to heal and fix the cracks that led to this unfortunate scenario.
Thank you all.

NB: She didn't turn the children against me. She didn't buy land anywhere and she has never referred to me as irresponsible.

Wow! Looks like I have missed some action here. It takes a man to admit he is wrong, more so that he misrepresented facts and I commend the OP. Hope you guys work it out.

Cc - kennedyiheme
Otipoju
Richie240
Martinez39
BRATISLAVA

I am almost completely sure you are not giving us the full picture. It would be really interesting to hear your wife's version of this story. As human beings, we tend to tell stories in a way that favors us and make us garner pity. If your wife is the breadwinner at the moment, she deserves your loyalty, respect and understanding. Taking care of the financial responsibilities of a home is not easy. You plan, you worry, you get afraid, you have sleepless nights...especially if your spouse does not pitch in.
Here's what happens. When a man loses his source of livelihood, every little move by a woman suddenly becomes emaaculating. The woman is already under a terrible strain and you are here to barmouth her to strangers.

I frankly do not believe you are doing enough. Factories abound, uber is there, the keke business is there, even uneducated teenagers from the north are hustling and making a good living riding bikes.

Yea, sometimes a man experiences setbacks, my dad did. The true measure of manhood lies in dusting yourself off the ground and trying again. These days sadly, there are too many lazy men who whine instead of actually being men. If you are here bad mouthing your wife, then I'm willing to bet, you do it everywhere. My cousin went through this. Everybody called her wicked. The husband's elder brother was like come and stay with me and I'll fix you up with something. They no tell the brother. Las Las he chases the man out of his home and told everyone to ignore the man because he is lazy. All he does is play video games and sleep.

Society is particularly unfair to women. A quick look through this site will convince any unbiased person of that. You already have men pitying you and condemning your wife which is exactly what you wanted. Oga poster, you came here seeking pity, looking for people to condemn your wife and soothe your ego and you already have faceless strangers doing that, but the truth is you are failing as a husband and a father. These people cheering you on and telling you your wife is wicked are in their ow homes hustling and taking care of their business.

I am a man like you and I will not lie to you. You are your own problem. Take these steps.

1. First of all, love and appreciate your wife. Thank her for all she does.

2. Pray hard and ask God to show you why you are experiencing hard luck. Folks here might not tell you the truth, but you may have a character flaw that is working against you. You may actually be lazy, most lazy people won't admit it. It may also be karma. You may have treated others, including your wife badly in the past hence the problems. Yes, it happens. Find out what the problem is and fix it.

3. Hustle, hustle, hustle! I don't believe in excuses. Real men don't. Meanwhile, what do you do? You can mail me your cv at dehindep@gmail.com.