₦airaland Forum

Zimbabwean dollars definitely!

Ok, Spiff.
We gat you. Happy married life.
Form master: If you make noise in the class, Bernard will write your name and you will pay #5 for each day of noise making.
Bernard(after form master had left): You heard what the form master said. I am starting now. Spiff, take note. I know you're a perpetual noise maker. I hope this will make you reduce your noise making.
Spiff(to Bernard): Here is #150 for this month. Remind me on time to renew my subscription ooh!

AUT = Another Useless Thread

This man will soon impregnate his 4th wife.
It's not easy to get squared with a popular code.
419 milli!
That's some dough men!!
The niggur be chilling with some good elements.
After all, just 111 milli from the loot is more than enough to turn him into a Saint.
The rest dough?
I've got to clear it with my oga at the top 'cos I'm not authorized to speak on the matter.
Key to Aso mud, please!

Which one be Nigerian-African na?
Abi naija no dey inside Africa again?
Una no go kill person oo.

Lalasticlala to the rescue.

What a mess!
His face already looks like death.
The idiot just rendered the poor pregnant woman husbandless.
RIP to the dead.

They are selling name not phone.
And sadly, they've got people to buy.
The only reason why iPhone users still use iPhone is because they've been hypnotized to stick to Apples and not try out grapes.
IPhone and its siblings are overrated.

She's doing well!
After five years, you don't want to move to marriage levels. She asks you for money, you complain that you don't have. You say your salary is meagre.
You sharperly turn Rudeboy dey sing "Reason with me". She don tire!
She talks to her friends about you.
They advised her to trick you into taking a loan for her.
She smiled as came to you with the seriousness of a wife material.
You two made plans.
She wanted to start a business/boost her business.
She said it will help you two stand firm as you'll be marrying soon.
Voom!
You took a loan, handed the money to her.
Mission accomplished!
Her new boyfriend is waiting by the corner.
The first money they spent from your gift was to go dining!
She's collected for all the years you fucccked and think you fucccked for free.
Never, she said to herself.
But hey...
Be the man that you are.
It's called fate.
Life happens...
Life's happening to you...
Life will continue to happen.
That's why it's called life.
No one gets outta it alive.
No, not one!
Not that I believe the story though.
I just have itchy fingers to type.

Monogamy:
Wondering how many bags he would carry if traveling out of the country

I'm wondering same thing too.
I am also wondering which security personnel will scrutinize his luggage when he gets to the border: ESN, Amotekun or Hisbah.
Anyway sha, it depends on which country he's travelling from and to.
It could even be a combination of the security forces from the two countries. Something like a joint security operation. ESN + Hisbah, ESN + Amotekun, Amotekun + Hisbah.
As long as he's not carrying alcohol and he's not having a haram hairstyle, I believe he's good to go to Kuru. He shouldn't have a problem crossing the border.

Money for plot of land...
I'll pass!

Don't take life too seriously.
Life is worthless after all.
Hon. Prestige being transported with a Siena.
I'm wondering whether he would've rode that Siena of he had a choice.
Rest in peace, Hon Prestige.

As it is now, if the government of Nigeria at any level says we are in the year 2021, people are still going to doubt them.
It's that bad.
Otherwise, how can people just see a recorded video of people in a danfo bus and not ask questions but accept it.
The action of the police is condemnable, no doubt.
But people arrested by the police in a yellow bus?
Plus...
I don't know when police started removing people's clothes on transit and allowing other people to film them.
We need to be careful about what we accept.
I don't support this government in any way but I won't take every shit doled out online without applying common sense.
Well, let me read comments further.

Nicenancy:
What will u eat

Of course I'll eat just one thing.
That's the content of the plate.

younglleo:
Pls nairalanders, am considering taking extreme measures bout some guys who scammed me off my last card, am totally broke nd needed dat money for emergency in the sense that tomoro my job hunt continues, the scammed me and believed the have gotten away with this. The truth is, with the way life has been treating me lately, am considering killing them as the only option, (not with my hands tho,but traditionally) this is really pissing me off, i jst met them on Nairaland!
They shud give me my money, cus ive got nothing to lose here, b4 Tomoro people will start talking one thing or the other, i need that money today.
Am not a killer, but i will go to the extreme, u can't rob a broke man off his last card, u don't knw what it feels like! cry cry cry
am honest nd serious here

I also need kill someone.
Conexxion things, let's go!!

Righteousness2:
This is so Deep!
She was 5mins late and the Pastor left.

This is Exactly how it's gonna be when the Bridegroom, JESUS Comes for His Bride.

Many will be busy with the affairs of the World, only to Suddenly discover that JESUS has come and has snatched all who were ready.

Many will Suddenly realize that while they were busy with this and that , JESUS the Bridegroom has come and has Shut the Door,

There will Crying and Gnashing of teeth by those who are left behind..

Now is the time to Watch and Pray,
Now is the time to Prepare so as not to be left behind.

The Bible is meant to be studied not read.
Seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
You really need it.

This is what happens when you marry the pastor's side chick.
The "god" is angry.

olaric:
Which one be Gab?

Short form of Gabriel or Gabrielle/Gabriella

BluntCrazeMan:
On a very serious note, what is the opposite of the word “Opposite”?

etisoppo

Now that her private life is public, she can afford to get a threeesome, even a foursome in public.
Pooorn career loading...

Komu1048:
So that parent will know how much their kids are paying abi? Abeg leave it as e dey, you can go and verify from the office of the governor is you are so concern about the reduction

Even if they state the amount, students will still scam their parents.
It's only tuition they reduced not the entire school fees.
Besides, students still got to pay for library, literary materials, encyclopedia, thesarus, incognito, digital access, global virtual tour subscription, semester fees for SUG, PCV, DDT, CBT regularization, IoT, PDP, APC, even for etc!
Fear person whe no fear students!

Someone should link me up with the babalawos. I need some polishing because I have a mission in a village beside a big rock somewhere in north central Nigeria.

The first picture though.
By their mouth, ye shall know the shape of the pond at the confluence.

Bullshit!!!
The wan no even fine sef!!

Rehdasignature1:
I hope you were their to confirm its taste. I guess you are very sure that its alcoholic wine.

Get Wisdom cos its profitable to direct.

Uncle Methuselah, I greet you oo.
Shebi you were there to confirm that it was non-alcoholic?

Wine kuku come expensive for naija.
I don't drink wine, I don't take strong drink.
I only flow with beer, whiskey, rum and brandy.
Sometimes, gin to the rescue.
Fellas be quoting the old testament whenever it suites them.
I am a Christian.
I am born of the new covenant.
Old things are passed away.
Behold everything is now new.
Good luck to those who still live in the old.

Everyone is commending the young man.
No one seems to know that the MVP here is the HOD.
I know of a guy who returned a lost phone like this only for the owner to accuse him of stealing it in the first place.
The lady even said that the guy returned the phone because he was afraid that it might have a tracker which would have led them to him.
It took the intervention of some people before the lady dropped that case of theft accusation.
The HOD who recognised this act, took photos and brought it to the attention of the university management and the entire world should be given a lot of commendation too.

RIP.
At least they didn't attribute this one to kovik 1, 9.

BF69BF:
With the way "brainy" people are dying in this country, very soon na people like Buhari go remain for this country.

Rip to the dead.

Are you planning to die any time soon?

Yamiriflathead:
What else do you have to give apart from that borehole in between your legs?

She kuku dey live online.

Nwodosis:
Such raw evidence is needed as there nothing women can't deny!

Exactly!
Give a woman chance and she'll deny that she's ever urinated!!

Tu9iceConcept:
I give the road few months...
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