₦airaland Forum

hahaha

where was tpia all d while..


you seem to confirm my story of

'he hurt me but I forgive him' scenario.

People who really love each other dont speak ill or hurt each other even when things are not good.

The real test would be when the fights happen and you still wont wish each other harm nor leak secrets

[quote author=tpia@]in your picture, they can both huddle under the umbrella, no need for the man to catch cold and fall sick in the name of love or chemistry.

they can also go find a dry place instead of staying put on the bench,

just saying.


the real test of chemistry, or love, is when you are fighting and things are not working, and your partner looks like, or is acting like the kind of person you normally avoid (ie, the type of person you'd never be with in a million years).. Thats when the chemistry flies out the window and you're left with what you, as a person, decide.[/quote]

Sissie: For me to like someone means I can love that person, because for me likeness is even hard but then my criteria is always been modified LOL.

Hmm I don't really know who that is, you know I haven't been on NL for very long, but if I figure out who she is will remind you.

alright.

I can't believe I forgot her name. I can check my archive but that would take time.

Sissie: Hehehe LOL. Uw.

I did not see the chemistry though. I can not even remember any of her posts.

I can only keep as much as is happening at a time in my head.

That post about the five people to meet. I have someone in mind but cannot remember her username. The woman is Fulani, married,lives in the UK and speaks of how she and her husband were young and in love when they got married. I wish u can remind me of her name. She is one of my favourite people who have been on NL.

Sissie: Ha deols don't tell me movies oh, hair standing, dilated pupils love e.t.c LOL

I was speaking wv a girl ystrdy and it was about how movies must never be taken for reality.

I did not start to believe in love from seeing movies sha o.

It is my numero uno criterion.

Maybe because I have seen people with evry other thing but who still dont have d good marriage. and I have seen love conquering it in people who dont have as much.


But like in every other thing, we are all diverse and can not want things the same way.

so I respect your wish to exclude love. It is a gamble I can not take.

Sissie, thanks for the clue.

it is Emofine.

I dont think she spent much time on this thread. I at first thought Fellis and then bnty.

It cldnt have been Zayhal since she is married.

Sissie: Who believes in love at first sight? Or attraction at first sight? Whatever you want to call it. I have heard of people who knew from the first day they wanted to marry their spouse, I know someone who did, in 3 months they were married.

It is infatuation at first sight.

with love, you have done a critical appraisal of that person and want them anyway. You want them, including their flaws.

Infatuation can grow into love, eventually.

Sissie: Chemistry and bond isn't something you assess, it just happens, it's subconscious.
Do you believe in butterfly In the stomach, heart beat racing kind of love? Don't tel me movies oh.

that is the movie. that is what is not real.

In love, your mind is at rest and you are sure.

[quote author=tpia@]i doubt this "chemistry" would last much longer than the honeymoon phase.

and, what happens when say maclatunji for example feels a "chemistry" for more than one potential partner.

let us rule out marrying all of them for now and assume its only feasible to have one for the meantime.[/quote]Exactly my thoughts o.

Sissie: In this case its not. But when people say love conquers all, love is all you need its exaggeration.

I think love happens only because it can conquer, a lot.

You sef will not tell me about the sister.I dislike being left outta the loop.

How come everyone else knows?

I used to be able to decipher things until this chemistry matter.

so who is the sister?

awww.

unfortunately, she can not reactivate. she'll have to take another name.

I'd really like that she comes back. she is one of the reasons many come on here.

Sissie: @deols I think personally love is exaggerated, that's why people make statements like love conquers all. And people expect much from someone one else all in the name of love. Some people marry their spouse thinking he loves me, he will change or I will make him change but that don't always workout.

maybe we see love differently. When you love people you dont expect them to change. You take them the way they are.

There is a difference between loving someone or thinking that you do.

ok. let me tell you what I have heard of love.

'Even though he hurt me, I wish him well'.

'Despite all that happened, I forgive her'.

Do you still think that is exaggerated?

tbaba1234: A conscious muslim should not marry a muslim who does not take the religion seriously. Do not think you can make him/her better. There are no guarantees. Her beauty will lose its 'wow' factor in a couple of years and it will be gone a few years later. His wealth could be the reason, you are distracted your purpose.

Many times, I hear stories of women complaining bitterly that the husband does not pray. Or where the man is quite religious but the woman does not even care about Islam.

How did these two people even get married? You discover that Islam was not even a factor in their choice of a spouse, they were young and her beauty seemed to be the most important thing. Life teaches its own lessons and a few years down, they find out that they are moving in opposite directions.

Seek a relationship upon Islam. Love Allah and love your spouse for the sake of Allah. Grow in the deen together, learn His book together. You see, this short stop on the earth on our journey through life is what determines everything else. How beautiful is it, that your companion returns to you all perfected and you spend eternity together. That is the definition of a 'soul mate'.

May Allah grant us the best spouse.

There are many ways to look at it. I agree that the love of Allah and Islam is very good. But is it enough to make a marriage work?

Ok. so,the brother is knowledgeable, recites with tajweed, knows tafsir etc. are good qualities and can be a point in keeping the couple together . They may even have learning sessions that the children can partake in. All of these sound very good.

But we must not forget that this is not all that marriage is about. There is finance,career, fun,education, sex(even though pple shy away from it as if not important)

If they have all of those religious factors and lack understanding in the rest, they will have problems.

There have been instances of the religious first wives, who just stay at home and keep praying while the husband is out and about with the younger, more educated and probably more beloved other wife.

or of the Muslim brother whose body exposing secretary-turned-new-wife is now wearing a scarf.

While a woman has only one time to do it right, a man has at least four times.

What I am saying in essence is, The best thing would be to have that person who is truly beloved and also religious.

The chemistry thing is just funny.

whatever that definition is, you can share it with, like a million of people. It does not mean you want to live with them.

In fact some people prefer the opposite of themselves.At least I know that I am not looking for someone like me. Everyone who's even tried to be me, only tried. Some like a little gingering and some fun, that comes with diverse views and complementary lifestyle.

baba11: It is possible.You just have to balance it up,chikena!

looks like infatuation is being mistaken for love.

and is the reason anyone would say that love is exaggerated. It can never be.

baba11: ....yea,that's my opinion and i stick to it!i can't go and marry someone i can't communicate with because there exist love in between us.

why would you love someone you can not communicate with?

does that ever happen?

baba11: In marriage to be,understanding should be considered first follow by love.Love is a strong affection one has for other expecially opposite sex and should not be only determining factor for marriage!

that is your opinion.

I didnt say it is the only important thing.

50calibre: There's one nairaland I'd so like to meet,

Deols

I want to beat her into a coma, & shave her head bald for banning me till 2016 in the Islamic section. What a b****

lol..

because she has no hands..

adeaugustus:
Wrong message? Am not passing any message at all. Just sharing my experience, ok? And stop quoting me for God sake!

You can stop being angry and at least try to get my point.I am trying to be nice here only because I am trained to be nice. If you dont want your post quoted, dont make it.

adeaugustus: Have you ever dissect a cadavers before? If no, Then you can only imagine. The fact is it's pretty normal, some get to grow out of it, while others don't.

Yes I have. I have seen all kinds of things and touched things you cannot imagine.

It is normal to seek help from a psychologist if you need it. I would expect someone like you(don't know what you studied precisely) to understand that.

chineloSA: Mxceeeewww.

Things dont always happen as per the theory you learn at the Medical School,luv. There are things that Medical Scientists say cant happen and they happen.

So take some several seat and save your knowledge for when you go for your practicals.If you were qualified, I would have engaged with you.

I cannot appoint a student to be my GP. I have attended doctors qualified than your self in terms of knowledge and experience ( Dermatologist, Hamatologist etc) to resolve my problem. Sorry, cant waist my time on an unqualified novice.

The way you question is very rude.

oh. sorry once again.

I was not trying to tell you what to do. You can see that I am trying to understand your situation. I was surprised you provided the earlier info.

You can answer my questions or not. It is up to you.

1. Sissie - looks like it will happen

2. Yellowpawpaw- she is larger than life. I want to hear her tiny voice

3. Bnty

4.

5.

will update it later..

chineloSA: I wonder what makes you to say I am not Do you know me? Smdh

Well, I develop a skin condition which looks like ringworms from my head down to my toes. It forms something like a big round ringworm, when it dries out, my skin honestly resembled a frogs skin.
One time I was forced to cut my hair so that I could be treated.

Tests were done, though not completed as they take not one but numerous tests.

So what makes a vegetarian ''PROFESSOR OF DOCTORS"

I am not a professor yet but a doctor to be.

Vegetarians don't eat fish but you said you eat fish. You could say that you are on a no-meat diet or whatever translates to mean that.

so, how do you do now and what medication do you take

apart from meat, what else do you keep away from?

adeaugustus:
Are you alright? I don't need a psychologist, am not sure if I can say that about you though.

Sorry. I didnt mean to be offensive. If anatomy is what is keeping you from eating meat and you feel like you are eating human flesh when you eat meat, then there is something wrong.

The one who can help you out is a psychologist and that is if you accept that you need it.

adeaugustus: ok. It's not like you get an accolade for being one.

of course. But for the benefit of this discussion, we need to get the right idea of who is a vegetarian so as not to pass the wrong messages.

dominique: Ironically, the most expensive seats are the deadliest when a crash occurs. I really get nervous when I'm placed on a seat in the same line with those huge propellers.

Exactly. it is like paying for ones, you know

I once sat close to the exit door and one of the attendants came to me to explain what I'd do in case of an emergency.

I felt macho..lol. I didn't wish for an emergency though, I think

I thought only Indians have religious reasons for not eating meet. I never knew some Christian sects don't as well .

Most vegetarians in this part of the world are in it for health reasons.

chineloSA: I am. Not by choice though, only because of serious health reasons that could not be ignored.

I only eat fish within the meat family/ seafood.

Its been 7 good years.

You are not a vegetarian. What is your health condition, if you don't mind.

kingphemy: Yes there are vegetarians in Nigeria.

I was a vegetarian for like 24 years from when I was born.

Can't eat anything that have come in contact with or that have fish or meat. My soups and stews were prepared separately.

Stop being a vegie some years ago. And I'm still making up for lost time!

why were you a vegetarian?

and hope you are not eating too much meat now. It may not be good for your health.

adeaugustus:
Am in Nigeria, when I have alternatives, I don't eat meat. Mostly I eat eggs instead of meat. As with the guilt, Yes. I still feel guilty.

You are not a vegetarian.