₦airaland Forum

[quote author=tpia@]@ deols

what's with your signature?

are you channeling shrekilt?[/quote]what is shrekilt?

Long ago, my location was- silence is the best answer for a fool. It is same as what I wrote as signature below.but decided to use sexkillz's style. He is the rave of the moment on NL.

golpen: W/salaam

Just perfect an answer I got and I think we're getting somewhere.

Islam's permission of the woman to work does is subject to the effect it has on the family. The primary duty of the wife is the household, which cooking is a part of. If it is the responsibility of the man to work for the general upkeep of the family, then why must he be the one to cook again because the wife cannot? Then what else has she been learning from home if cooking is not included? That apart.

The case of getting maids nowadays may be very critical, not even to the extent of cooking for the husband. What if the surest way to his heart is his mouth? Coupled with the good kitchen skills the maid displays in her unconscious bid to secure her job. In short, getting a maid (either male or female) isn't a good idea, except maybe on some exceptional cases.

The point is ladies should learn a good deal of the house chores, it is their duty as a wife. The men should also learn their responsibility values, it is part of what makes them a good hubby.

so what in the quran or ahadith say any of the above. If we are talking of an Islamic life, the proof has to be from the Quran and ahadith. But if you are giving your own opinion or basing it on a cultural perspective, do say that as well.

You need to prove to us that
1. the primary role of the woman is in the house and the primary role of the husband is not.

2. that cooking is her job

3.that the husband should not cook

4.that house chores generally are a woman's duty


About Ladies who may not know how to carry out house chores, a lot may have been responsible. Some may have had family issues that made them grow up in boarding schools and off to universities where the need for them to cook never came up. Will you say that they are not deserving of marriage still. .

and some may have grown up learning other things, like handling businesses etcetera and if you find yourself in love with such a people, would their inability to cook be a reason to keep at bay?

how about if they can do all of the house chores but their job would not permit. They would need husbands who can understand their situation and not demand that they have to cook all the time.

The maid thing is exaggerated and I can not understand why a particular person has to do the cooking. The world is changing and soon, the need to save time will prevent many from having to cook. Not all maids are village girls or living in the same house with the couple.

How does the food even become the way to anyone's heart. That is so exaggerated. I have never even seen a case of it. Maybe I need to look harder.

Sissie: @maclatunji their was past of his post that wasn"t proper, shehu could have written his post In a much proper way, like I said I just chose to ignore.

Whatever problem you have with deols should not make the whole point invalid.

What truth is bitter, you say people who do not share your views are trying to say they have no home training,dirty and disobedient. People who won't do much chores in their husband house will find that offensive, and no one is in a position to insult them, we are different.

Let the matter go jare..

NL member: How about skype?

hahahhah...

no

Sexkillz is a st☆

I am jealous.

NL member: Did deols really insult Mary? That's surprising, muslims are forbidden from insulting Mary and Jesus. I should know, I was a muslim before.

dont mind them jare.

why on earth will I insult Mary? the mother of Jesus?

so u were a Muslim? can we continue our have a talk via email?..

golpen: But wait o... Does islam encourage that a woman should work in order to feed the family (plus the husband)? Maybe we'll get somewhere from here, or better still what are the basic islamic duties of husband and wife respectively?

A woman can feed the family(including the husband) if he is incapacitated but it is not her duty.

The basic duties of the husband are of the provider and protector. The wife guards the things that her his and her chastity.

tbaba1234: Mac, I think your tirade is quite personal. We can get a glimpse of people's behaviour online, but we do not really know them. People can make unfair conclusions about your personality online. You, more than anyone should know about that.

The real lesson here is that we need to be more sensitive about our comments. Apparently some of our communication can send the wrong message to sisters. This is important because we are going to be husbands to women in sha Allah and we will have to learn what they are sensitive to.

If you think someone does something incorrect, address it in a polite way. You might actually be the one misunderstanding the action.

May Allah grant us all goodness.

That makes sense. I remember an IVC I attended where we had a brother at the sisters camp. Ma sha Allah he spoke so well on issues but he never used the right words in addressing the sisters.

They had to complain to one of the elder sisters who spoke to him about it.

Maybe not everyone knows of the politically incorrect words and maybe it is one of the things this thread would be helping us with.

[quote author=tpia@]Maclatunji and deols often do not see eye to eye on some matters, and sparks do tend to fly when that happens.

I dont think he realises the effect his words have on her, probably because she (deols) likes forming "tough guy" whereas, unbeknownst to her, she does place great value on his words and approval.

So i'd say yes, maclatunji probably has some responsibility for deol's faceoff on this thread.[/quote]You have been here for quite a while but whenever you get into this kind of talk, I see that you never really got it. I saw your argument with toba on another thread on this same matter not long ago.

You have the wrong interpretations. But I am not bothered enough to correct them.

nothing wrong with it.

I believe the marriage would be a result of them loving each other. Why should boundaries be set up?

golpen: Still watching, trying to look before leaping, but on issues like this, we should try to mind our comments, so we don't become hypocrites... Sofry please.

onegig: A dehydrating agent. Never heard of it? It normally comes in small bags with all these shoes and the main purpose is to dehydrate and take away moisture in the shoes.

I had something else in mind.

You think if dehydration gives the high, a dehydrating agent would get it done fast...hmmmn

no one should try this at home o.

btw, how is programming?

No.

It is a waste of money, time and energy.

And only the elite gets to celebrate with our money. It makes no sense. at all

onegig: abi nah. However, To get those feeling just swallow a pack of silica gel. It does wonders.thank Deols later. Lol!

So what about madam tpia ? Are u in any relationship ?if no why not? What are your checklists?

what is silica gel?

I have to say these especially as the starter of this thread that the things that kept this thread going have been very simple and are the fact that

*Everyone can state their opinion. This has been happening and we have disagreed on many occasions. Some can agree they are wrong, when wrong and may not agree. I am sure we have disagreed on many occasions and have moved on from it. It is a normal thing and will not stop happening.

No form of disagreement should stop anyone from continuing to pertake in these discussions.

*As the starter of the thread, I have been the most active, and most probably have the highest no of posts which make me more liable to seeing myself as responsible for what goes on here. Right from the beginning,

-I have not tolerated disrespect to WOMEN and I never will. So anyone can start acting like they did not know what they were doing when they kept mentioning home training as if we are all kids and unaware of how insulting that is.Responding to him was about me doing my thing. I hope no one has stopped being themselves on that note. There is good in us all being diverse. Anyone with a problem with that probably stand for nothing and I can never understand it.


-If you have anything against my post, you can always state it and people have been stating it from the start. But if speaking against deols is now the in-thing, you can make yourself happy at it, if at all it makes you happy and not that it makes you feel like you are also doing something good.

- A misrepresentation of facts is an offence and cannot and will not and shall not be tolerated. I think it is ok if we go against that using the strongest of terms.

*The thread started with relating personal experiences etcetera. I noticed later on that people did not get a hang of that and started to think deols was making things personal..so here is me saying it again, This thread was meant to be personal.

*What we did not do at the earlier stage is put anyone's intelligence to a test or attack their personality. We may not do that again. God help us

*This is not a women versus men thing and I am not here to make the guys feel emasculated. Relax please, all of you . The thread started with men love women and vice versa in mind. we are all good






..i will add more when i remember

Sissie: I sincerely do not think you are up for discussion, the first one you wrote about not doing chores = being dirty, we both answered you but you didn't clarify your post or say anything about it, which made me conclude you really was not up for discussion.

I also have many problems with what you posted, but chose to ignore. For the same reason as above.

Thank God you know there are two sides of a coin remember that when you talk about home training, and how status quo must be maintained.

Sissie is my person mehhhn.

There is a Yoruba saying that while some people think they can talk. There are those who can listen.

I dont want to keep on on his posts and how he is acting like he did not mean to speak the way he did or that there are no undertones to it just because, like I said yesternight, I am done on that.

yeah. tpia needs to answer those questions.

[quote author=tpia@]@ deols


you'll be in food section one of these days no doubt, posting recipes.

and in family section giving tips on how a good muslimah can attend to her husband, carrying his socks, mopping the floor, combing his hair, checking to make sure no husband snatcher is snatching him, etc etc.[/quote]Hahaha..i actually like that section. I was hoping to start checking it out.

I am not the type who can not cook. It is only in this section(or maybe not) of the sections I frequent that I do not talk about my passion for food.

But as to the other part, you are joking ooo. I cannot and will not babysit a grown man. It would be catastrophic to marry a man who cannot button his shirt or tie his tie and who wants to play computer games 10hrs in a day.olohun ma je

and if his roving eyes are to other women's backside..

tbaba1234: Kids are hard o!!

Spent the last week in Abuja, my baby cousins come to my room, hijack my phone and laptop. And want me to carry them about.. 3, 5, 7 and 9... Then i have to sing, share my food etc..

After a few hours, i am exhausted but they keep going...

it is good for you nahh. they make you run around, exercising the body.

onegig: oh ok... I see reason for the claims and counter claims now.i have just been scheming through most posts. Didn't read all those epistles. Btw Am no judge here o.... Just let it pass....sometimes people are not as articulate in passing their views on and they may come out as plainly rude or condescending without them even knowing about it. Thats why physical discussions still trumps non physical ones because of tings like body movement,eye movement, pitch of words and so on and so forth which normally gives added meaning to discussions. You didn't answer the question.

What have you been taking?<pun intended>

it took a long time b4 i was able 2 post d previous one. i 4got to ansa d question.

d question shldav bn what avnt I bn drinking and that is water. I was dehydrated, probably and that sends the wrong signals to d brain

onegig: I see you are warming up on a challenge. . Grabs pop corn and sips my pepsi.. .lol


Thank God you guys backed out. Knowledge is something owned by the Almighty and He bestows it on whom ever he feels like giving. Its not too ideal to call people out in such ways as its tantamount to questioning their creator.

BTW Deols.. You have been hyper active today... Care to share what you have been taking? Lol.. :p

I was not claiming knowledgeable. far from it. But when someone needs a heads up, there is every reason to provide them that.

Read shehuaba's posts and you can tell what he has up his sleeves. He most probably has no iota of respect for the female folk. Talking home training (tantamount to disrespecting people's parents and family values) and then talking about unreasonable pple etcetera.

I decided to not indulge him at first. Naturally, I like to ignore such people cos there is little you can do to help them.

Eventually I realised he was having a problem comprehending my post about some people being myopic.

Waspy: Growing up, i read George Orwells "Animal Farm"........i never thought i'ld see it all dramatised! Long live Nairaland!!!

Many have read animal farm but their councillors, living in their neighbourhood have failed to provide dividends of democracy.

Obviously, to them, animal farm is only on paper and applicable on a faceless forum.

Afam4eva: No, it won't. Their usernames will just be changed to something like "Guest".

good

busar: Whatever

I thought you were the good guy

I did not like the idea.

I hope that their posts/threads won't be missing after the deletion.

ShehuAba: hmmmmmmmm. deols all these for me. well i will rather not respond to this question.

better. I gave up on it too. fair enough

busar: It's high time [b]we [/b]stopped this [b]childish acts [/b]and forcus on the purpose of this thread. Let correct constructively and be tolerant, we are family(muslim).

I am sure not everyone has been childish but you still see a need to put us all together.

For the sake of the 'we are all Muslims' part, I will let the test go.

But such learning opportunities are rare and he just got robbed of one.

tbaba1234: 'Testing Intelligence'

Why do you have to be confrontational??

oops! I thought that was also obvious.

my bad

tbaba1234: why are you heading in this direction?

I thought it is obvious.

ShehuAba: Actually read what you wrote here, and guessed u must be a Psychologist to actually know my type.
Yes, there's no guideline or book to home training but it must be insisted.
Am not here to talk about people nor force anyone to believe in what i say, rather to let people know what i think about issues and if possible reason with me.
Yes i am a Nigerian and at least it must reflect in the way i see things.
But, does it mean that when Nigerians see things from a different angle which doesn't suit other climes, it now means we are myopic.
I still insist in what i said and i stand to be corrected.
Yes, status quo must be maintained until a more REASONABLE OPINION is presented.

so you think you are reasonable?

let us test your intelligence.
First, define myopia

onegig: I understand her. Supporting that scenario and school of thinking does not necessarily mean she intends to or she's like that.

I wonder how hard that has been for some to figure out.

It happens that sometimes one just wants to present a contrary opinion to the mainstream

But I don't present it when I don't believe in it.

. You want to give a differing view of things so the discussion could be more balanced

Yeah.sometimes

We are programmed like that and its been factored by the society

Things do change and can change and will have to change.In basic siciology, what you learn is how societies have always evolved. The Nigerian one will have to especially in relation to gender roles.

.

So the ladies have no better option than to conform.

I think the men will have to accept change. The only person who doesn't have an option is the one who has not accepted that she has it.

Challenging the status quo would be hmmm a herculean task

It is. Obviously.

[quote author=tpia@]Deols is just pulling people's legs i'm sure.

Trying to draw traffic to seun's site.


I've thought about this discussion and imo, she must be one or more of the following:

Pretty

From a well to do background

Not lacking for suitors ( for as long as she can remember)

Somewhat well read ( although i dont know if she reads non religious stuff).



Correct me if i'm wrong however.[/quote]