₦airaland Forum

Sissie: of course, the try again, has to do with proposal. i cant compromise either, if one compromise how do you do your wifey duties really well.

Yes nahh.

For a Muslim girl, you only have a one time to do things right. No long time dating, no premarital testing of marital affairs, no cheating with your spouse, etc.

And No marrying more than one man(who is even allowed other women).

He has got to be worth all the sacrifices and the love you want to show and all your thoughts about how to make it work. Your education, etc, you are ready to use in making that home.


It just has got to be worthwhile. And it can only be with the man you love and are proud of.


#shikena #lobatan

And where is that adesuave girl?

She must be a naturally interesting person. I didnt think she meant to make the men feel bad. She made a point in a straight forward way.

We should talk more about such things. No one has to present their lines though. They come natural with the right person.

Sissie: No I won't turn him down, I will tell him to try again. No one said they would reject him.

If his appearance is not good enough. I dont think I'll listen to anything else. It is already a bye bye.

The appearance, which goes with carriage and how he speaks(also shows education and exposure) score him like 80% with me.

And that is me. I cannot compromise on these things. He has to be black too.

busar: Appearance.. I think it also matters but not to the extent of 'rejecting' a brother because he doesn't look too good in his appearance.The most important things are righteousness, caring,listening etc.
The wife can even teach him, the Abu how to dress. But for the sisters i think it's important for them to be good looking also because I wouldn't care for a sister that is shabily dressed either.
Note:I am not insinuating that brothers can dress shabily oh.

No. I am not ready to teach anyone anything. There is a reason we spent these years under our parents. The only babies I want in my household are the ones I give birth to. Never will I marry a cry baby or whatever. Lailai.


There are a lot we may help each other with, of course.but I definitely cannot assume I will change somebody.

Everyday, I work hard to be better at all the things am engaged in. I expect a grown black man to be doing same and not waiting for me to come clean up for him.

A man that cannot dress well in his 20s is long gone. Forget about it.

tbaba1234: Is anyone saying, Mr bean is boring

What is a boring way? If the man ticks your boxes in most things, are you.going to reject him because he was not creative enough in his proposal.

Arghhhhh...lol..cannot help but laugh.


I thought u meant the Mr. Been part as a joke. I didnt think you thought it as ok. I would have said my mind about it not being appropriate, @ least as I see it. But who knows, some other ladies might not mind.


But if three of us here already speak against it, then you should understand it is a lady's mindset.

It would really help that you learn from us.



About creativity, there is a lot involved. He doesnt need to be a poet and every lady would know what they can take. It is not about what is written per se but how presented. I believe the person who did that Mr. Bean picture didnt mean it to be used as a means of proposing. It is like many other such photos meant to make people laugh.


As for me, I only need to be assured that my life with him wont be boring. And I dont need an essay to know that.

Sissie: LOL, I guess it depends on who, but if a man propose to me in a boring way he's on his own oh LOL.

If a guy appearance don't suit me, I won't give him face oh. LOL am a picky person, so many things put me off someone.

Guess that's why am still single LOL.

Eh eh! This singleness isnt too much of a big deal as being married to a dunderhead. That is a lifetime sentence into jeopardy.

It isnt how long but how well o jare. I am having him PERFECT or not at all

onegig: Just like showitwee has been reiterating that we all need to be modest.

So i guess i am not too far off, if i wear my faded denim jean and non ironed rumpled t shirt while proposing to you...After all the lady should be interested in what I have to say and not my appearance (pun intended)

Of course pun must be intended.

For crying out loud, who goes to an interview wearing crumpled clothes?. A life time matter taken so unseriously can tell alot about the man. He most probably will take other things in relation with the marriage exactly that way. It reeks of irresponsibility o jare.


We all have our down moments though. If NEPA or PHCN is being stubborn at that time, it would be reasonable to wait until they bring electricity and then iron those clothes and shine the shoes wella.

But who knows, a hunk may pull it off anyway

I believe the lesson of the whole matter is clear enough,

Boring lines are simply boring! No two ways about it.

Every girl wants to feel special and the time for a man to prove he is worthwhile is the proposal/ pre wedding period.

Most of those things come naturally and girls are so blessed with intuition that they can already tell by such little little show of affection the man that is perfect for them.

Whatever is worth doing at all is worth doing well. I assume how you work to get her shows how much you think she is worth.






Adesuave just brought up one of those things that I thought we would discuss at the time of starting this thread. I believe we spoke briefly about approach, etc but I'd like that we speak also of appearance.

I have heard it more than once that the Muslim bros arent trying on that level, like at all .It can be embarrassing having someone looking not well dressed speaking with you in d first place(on a proposal basis). You'd feel very very disrespected. And I know it from interaction with ladies.

What do the guys think of this? Do ladies have inputs?

Nairatalks: This is too funny.

Keep up with the deflection and personal attacks. I guess that I am not a muslim because i dont agree with Deols.

I would be ashamed of myself if my utterances are judged as not from a Muslim. I would actually be depressed and rethink my religion. I would have an introspection and try to see what I have been doing wrong.

You are mentally creating your own enemies and giving reasons for it. Could it be that this isn't about deols but about your utterances and belief?

To escape from seeing your fault, you are trying to pass it off to other people.

Think or try harder, 'is the way I think how a muslim should?' Then, become a better Muslim or at least, actress.

Nairatalks: How can one be recruited to be a feminist?

By an attempt at indoctrinating them and giving them tools that enable the movement. Like I said above, I owe you no explanation. You can agree or not, it doesn't change what has been said that many of the activists in Nigeria are not driven by humanity. They are more for selfish reasons and are bias along religious/ethnic divides.

Nairatalks: This claim is false;

So the problem now is your comprehension problem.

I said there is a general saying that...

Do people say it, yes.

Have I heard it on several occasions, yes.

Even on this forum, yes.

That you haven't or just would not agree to it does not make it false.

BetaThings: ^^^^
Salaam
I see no benefit in you trying to explain your position. The guy is a tad aggressive and he will not listen
As soon as somebody is asking some elementary questions about what I know, I just ignore.
We all know so little, but somebody who might even be lower down may be the one bringing up the issue of ignorance

I stopped explaining that position actually or isnt that about some feminists being not so good beyond their feminist propaganda?


I am not here to convince him on my position. If he genuinely deserves to be explained to, I would. If not, my discretion.

^^lol about knowing whom a feminist is. I was almost recruited you know?


I still believe in some of their views. I draw the line where religion comes in

[quote author=tpia@]just saying, i noticed you said its something you want to do because you saw another couple doing it.[/quote]It inspired me to want to do it. Not a compulsory thing. Just something that felt good and I am willing to try.

AdeSuave: Normal mode kethat's out of it...Thank God you understand that she's the special one,so you do it specially in the most acceptable manner that combines the beauty of islam with logic

Abi o jare.

Some people lose out with the wrong/boring proposals.

It tells of a boring/would-be boring life and who wants that?

My grand father said the same thing but forgot to write his will

Selective rrasoning abi what can I call it?
Below is what I wrote

There is the general saying that the feminists out there treat their maids in the worst of manner. You then wonder whether the maids are lesser humans or not feminine enough

I wasn't saying all feminists do it but that people say so..

I further told you that I cldnt bring forth statistics but that I have seen it happen.


I really dont care on whether you want to talk more on the other issues. They are as clear as daylight.

[quote author=tpia@]if he wants you to.[/quote]Exactly.

When I am at home and my mum wants to feel...(donno what exactly), she asks me to join her and we eat from the same plate.

But at other times, everyone eats from their own plates.

A few months ago, O saw a young couple eating from the same plate and just liked it. I think it is good for bonding and hopefully, I'd do that with my spouse.

@Op,I think you should speak with your girl about it. She might be ready to comprise on it.

dasparrow: The number one reason God gave a woman mammary glands is to use them to breast-feed her offspring. I don't know why a grown man with 32 teeth in his mouth, an Adam's apple in his throat and beard growing around his upper and lower lip will be looking to suck the mammary glands.

The irony is, after sucking the mammary glands like an infant the night before, the next day he wants to command respect and be seen as the head of household. Any grown man who wants respect should earn it and you cannot earn respect by trying to play boss one minute and the next minute turn into a baby with beard who wants to suck the mammary glands.

Comedy in its original form

Nairatalks: Not interesting. It is False. Deols should explain where she found numerous feminists treating maids in the worst manner. Maybe she thinks that many people in the west even have maids like we do in Africa.


This is how falsehoods spread.
Deols is someone that speaks before checking facts. I always try to avoid personal comments but it is hard for me to see people agreeing with false things and keep silent

But I was obviously talking of Africa. Nigeria, precisely.

Of course you know that there cannot be a data to back my claim up. Do we even have a cancer registry or a correct statistics on domestic violence? It took an aljazera for us to realise what percentage of bleachers are in Nigeria.

But I have attended programs on Gender issues. I have been to conferences on the female child blah blah blahs I have known the participants before and after. So I know very well that not all are in it for the general good.

Now about the subject matter, which is about Nigerian activists being silent on the affairs of Muslims. How many of them did you hear of when that Muslim girl was beat by her school principal?

And how many of them sprang up against Yerima?

Isnt it already clear that they only took advantage of an explosive situation?



Now after all the cries over the internet, how many of the activists have come up with a solution to the issue of child marriage. How many of them have simply gone back to their 'e no concern me' typical state?.

@Topic


Pigs disgust me naturally. I cannot imagine eating them.

FrostyZonn: As a moderator of this section one would expect you to lead by example, but judging from this comment of your's...apparently not.





Typical.

Can you express yourself better? Can you tell what is wrong with the post that I termed classic?


How come it hurts you to realise all that you miss when you could easily point out what you thought Muslims were missing?

If you can't take criticism(even in that very comic way ) dont bother criticising others.

If you think people are missing out of not eating pork then you should understand when others tell you how much you miss of your salary that you pay as tithe.

Sissie: Did you try to "experiment" and couldnt do it.
LOL
Amin.

Oh yh!

It hurts sha. Very much

Too bad- the application fees.


When are they taking house officers?

I dont see a big deal in this. Computers have always been used in the planning pre-operation

Endoscopic surgeries have been carried out as minimally invasive procedures.

Whatever this is about doesn't seem needed.


Or the point is elusive to meanybody cares to explain?

raeez: many girls will go back to skool with ASUU babies

And what will happen to the boys??

About the lowering of the gaze, I got it wrong at first too.

It isnt about eye contacts but what the contact is about.

BetaThings: Hahahaha
I bet you miss out on some things. Perhaps extended sleep on Sundays or even at night when you do your vigil
Or some of your Christian sisters perhaps miss out on the "joy" of pre-marital intimacy

Classic

Finally, I got the answer to the bashfullness talk...lol.


I couldn't do it. Lol.


I probably have exaggerated my boldness in the past

God help me with my heart desires.

Kudos to the swedish women.

About the Nigerian activists, Majority of them are politically motivated.

At other times, they just want to be noticed.

I could sum it up to mean that they are not in it for humanity but for the fame and sometimes monetary benefits.




There is the general saying that the feminists out there treat their maids in the worst of manner. You then wonder whether the maids are lesser humans or not feminine enough