₦airaland Forum

CapedBaldy:
I found myself in a social gathering today where everyone was interacting with each other but I was just alone in a corner. I'm not shy I just don't know what people talk about. I'm turning 20 next year and I only have about 10 friends or less. I want to know how to associate with people and not feel so awkward. The only person I can talk to easily right now is my co-worker. We see each other everyday so it's pretty easy to talk to him. I also speak well with customers at work but when it comes to regular socializing I'm completely clueless. So I do I make friends?

Generallll:
I've been bothered recently about the number of girls I've asked out & ended up starting a relationship with but the moment i get very closer to them, i begin to see things/attitudes that really get me pissed (like some re runs girls, some re gold diggers, some re too fake, artificial and you get to see the real them when you get closer, i went through someone's whatsapp, actually a lady i so much liked & thought she's cool and i saw mind blowing chats of how she Bleep and give some dude blow jobs and all that e.t.c).

I've also been having trust issues and i find it hard to keep female friends and as well keep a relationship, that's because the moment i get closer to a lady the next thing on my mind is to ask her out and then have sex with her. I also noticed i have a high libido for sex and most girls i end up dating ll think i only want them for sex. I've been thinking, has anyone been in this situation and please what's the way out because as a young man, i really want to stay focused, have my own loyal woman and that's all.

My question is how do guys that keep female friends without having the urge to Bleep them do it? How do some guys cope with gold diggers or keep such ladies as girlfriends and how can i stop moving from one woman to the other.
Am a social media addict that meet alot of ladies online especially in my location here.
Or am i being childish, picky or impatient, i can't even cope with attitude from girls atimes like i can easily get upset and delete a lady's number esp when she's giving me the yes, no, k, replies and when i try to get close to a lady and she's giving me attitude .
Am i proud and arrogant?
Op please push to front page.

OladimejiRufai:
I was there for him can as well be correct depending on what they mean

If they met the guy's needs when he needed them or he needed something, they were having his back in times of trouble or need and were there to console or comfort him at times of difficulty, then if they say "I was there for him", they are correct.

And besides, she could have been there "with" him and would not have been "for" him. She could just have been there with him (in his life) playing no significant role or meeting any of his needs. She could have even been there "with" him and she was rather causing problems for him. But she was still "with" him.

The bottom line is, if a lady was there "for" a guy, then she supported and positively impacted his life regardless of whatever degree. But if she was there "with" him, then the case should be further investigated to discern if she was there "with" him and contributing positively to his life or was contributing negatively or was just neutral.

I hope this comment isn't full of flaws though. I stand to be corrected

holaxi:
My girlfriend and I have being together for almost three years now. We've had all the moments the good ,the bad and the ugly.

But recently she met a guy who asked her out, she refused his advances but the guy and her spend so much time on calls and chatting which I don't really like.

I've talked to her so many times about it but if she listens for a week the next week they are back in business.

Last week we were chatting and she just went offline I tried calling her to know what's up only for her number to be busy for like 20 mins. When she came back online and I told her she said she wasn't on call with anyone.

When I probed her further she said she wanted a two weeks break that I complain too much and I don't trust her.

I apologized to her so peace could reign but since then I've started losing interest in her.

Breaststroke:
For some inexplicable reason this made me laugh.

I think unselfish reasons would be ones which align very well with what heaven originally intended;

1. Companionship
2. Sex within God's blueprint.

@ OP, sorry I don't know what might help.

PrincessNZ:
Nonsense talk.






To the OP,

Either you or your husband or both of you married for selfish reasons. Love is permanent when two people marry for unselfish reasons.

lavanahblog:
I will rather have an emotional outbursts where every one is present than habour regrets and hatred for my man. It's better to be honest with our emotions.

jaszplus12:
Young man, when I was in the university I fell into similar situation and fear the unknown and pride and foolishness and the thought that it's going to be a burden didn't allow me to sleep well....we couldn't go through with telling our parents! They will kill us! So we thought but really would they have
Unfortunately after 5th month she miscarried and though we were "relieved" we still think it was all the stress that made it happen.
Why am I saying this, chill out bro... gather your wits together and man up! That child is yours and please start now to plan to wed the mother. Dont ever think she's not wife material, Work together and don't let anger and frustrating situations ruin your future.
Whatever decision you make together now will make or mar your future.
Today after 26 years I'm married to that same girl and we have kids and peace of mind. Only regret is "we should not have allowed FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN to steal away our first child!
Good luck bro...
FEAR NOT....

sisisioge:
Wow! Once a month! Dang! Biko stop cheating yourself jare, how could you have an open card to have as much sex as you want but choose to do it only 12 times in a year! Forks!

sweetmelanin:
Until this past weekend, having sex once a month seemed to be a normal frequency in my marriage but on a recent girls night out, my girlfriends and I were gisting where I discovered that most of them are active 3- 4 times a week. I was shocked and couldn't imagine how one can get aroused so many times in a week by someone you have lived with for years and seen all their flaws and all.

For the past five years in marriage, once a month has always been the norm between my husband and I.

Now I'm left questioning if this is normal.

theButterfly:
From your words on this thread that you created last year, you said there's no sexual chemistry between you, so...


Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by sweetmelanin(f): 11:09pm On Jul 07, 2018

I see my husband more like a brother than a lover. We laugh, crack jokes and hold similar world views. BUT theres no sexual chemistry. I find it difficult to get aroused by him. There is a deep sense of unfulfillment and unhappiness.
I wonder how long I can cope with a marriage without passion.

https://www.nairaland.com/4605024/advice-needed-unhappiness-good-reason#69177711

Belafonte:
From one side of your mouth you say it does not necessarily become less, and then you say it becomes less from the other side, while making an excuse.

Take a poll of married men and ask how much sex they had with the same person before and after marriage. In fact, many married women like to form busy just to avoid sex . Yet, many married women cannot wait to get the kids to bed and get down with hubby.

If I got married I would be reasonable with my expectations of sex, but if it were marked I would seek satisfaction elsewhere without even thinking twice. If a woman wants to really get down she will. These same women who would bring up children as the reason for their reduced libidos are cheating with other men. My wife is free to keep her cooch, doesn’t mean I’m gonna die dry-d*cked, and I better not catch her cheating.

Belafonte:
I’m not, have loads of married friends, though.

Belafonte:
What does that have to do with anything? You want to marry me?

Belafonte:
Only a loser would get married just to get regular sex. Any informed man knows that sex dwindles after marriage. It is more plentiful when single.

Pusyiter:
The purpose is what brought you to planet earth

Midas01:
Why are men so pained at this news? Like chill!!! Y'all claim women can't do without you and now that it's been proven that they can (by actual experts) you're crying all over the place and swearing on you lives it's not true.

Smile4mee01:
Dear Fam,

I am a little depressed today. I am a 34 yr old guy going to 35. Has a decent Job, drive a good car. Live in my own house. Well traveled.
I desire to get married and have children but I just dont connect with women so well. I loose interest in them almost as soon as we get along and everything is looking nice. I kinda loose my peace with the female vibes around.I dont have sex with them.
I am considering going for my Masters abroad to better myself but women in west ( Australia) is another kettle of fish.

There is a colleague of mine who has been in the picture kinda. But she will be 35 in 6 months. She is about 5 months older than me
I am worried she might have difficulty having a child as women struggle with fertility about that age.

I have come too far to make a mistake by marrying a wrong woman. I am worried.

dochenaj:
Abomination. How can a man even begin to consider the thought of having sex with a girl who is young enough to be his daughter?

Omojudy:
It’s not giving her child away, it’s letting her grow up in the custody of her father which is better in stability/security while the mother who is only 19 can have an education and a life rather than become a baby mama so early in life.

Amanda4life:
You are just feeling he is a well respected man.

He is absolutely not.

Another thin there is karma.

I leaved with my elder sister when I was much younger. Her husband was trying to pressurize me into having sex with him. God helped to reject his offer.
That was a time he refused to pay my school fees and I will will cry all day in secret. He tried to fustrate me in different ways but I never told anyone.until when he beat me mercilessly I had to pack my load and left. Now he is even late.

So when I got married . I decided to leave with this my elder sister s daughter, my husband stated pressurising this my sisters daughter and the girl denied his offer too but why I was angry is bcause she didnt tell me on time. If she had I would have divorced this man long time ago she. Told me many years after.

Such a man doesn't change from my experience. They get worst