₦airaland Forum

I dont knw wht to say at work tomorrow cos' my co-workers will be all over me with dis light shit

Chei, another Light just went out again!

Light has been fix play continues, lets see if it happens again.

USA 1 - SPAIN 2

Suprisingly the stadium is packed up compared to what obtained during the opening match.

I was watch the USA vs Spain U-17 on ESPNU when one of the lights in the stadium went out, the match officials have pursed the game for 5-10mins. This is another international disgrace where is madam rebrand??,

Thanks RSA for the tale!

Pls naijas dont use that story to conclude ur decision in going to SA what RSA didnt say was what Jonah went through before he met him, how he slept and fed etc and how many yrs he endured?? how long it took for Jonah to stay with him before he got a job and initial sacrifices they both made before the became high earners! how they arranged the money to buy the work shop??, pls how skillful was skillful to have allowed Jonah much recognition.

This story happens to 1 of 10,000 Nigerians so the odd of it happening to you is near impossible but not impossible.
Yes, I agree with RSA about survival instinct thing kicking in, but u have to be Godly with good intentions to allow your survival instinct take you places. Plus u equally need a partner with a Godly heart. If RSA was greedy he would have felt more superior to Jonah know that he is just and foreigner without any backbone and could have taken serious advantage of him including using and killing him. We have not heard stories from that angle cos those it happened to never lived to tell their tales.

I wish there was a way to expand this topic, so that Nigerians in the villages will know that when most people return home with glitter, they probably did some bad. I rather join MEND to fight and die for a purpose at home or become a basic farmer than die on the street abroad without a purpose or waiting endlessly for luck to change my life abroad. I'm sure that many people dont understand how cold, cold really is, know matter how u protect ur self and how much warm clothes you put on, it will start from ur feet and go all the way.

Poster thnks for posting ur experience, I haven't been to SA but I readily identify with ur post.

Our manufacturers can be very silly, that lady is not suppose to use her bear hands, where are the gloves? soaps litter on the floor why is it so??, these guys dont visit factories in europe and America to see how its done, or even google it online. The govt. as well dont supervise to ensure minimum acceptable standards are met. And those without income to upgrade are assisted to, what a shame?? whosoever call this manufacturing does not know what manufacturing is!

O'boy na the spirit wen dey ur house dey type for ur laptop, ejigidi must comot!

What a silly question, it means he can come in when his manhood requires flushing and using you as a tool to get a flush!

Real talk!

lol funny talk!

Chei, wetin we no go hear from naija. Abeg if u don get ur permit talk am make shame catch dem. If u never get ur permit continue to pray instead of dreaming too far. Beside all these bruhaha when u get to B.C u will knw! and make I tell u wan secret, no-how, no-how Naija must dey B.C e dey our blood we too dey seek & find.

You probably stole the passport. Any body buying that passport from you should be prepared to go to prison in china, and hopefully that person will find out what it means to be in chinese prison before he/she makes that self hanging decision.

meeen see how a Nigerian lies, that guy was bursted for using a different name when he was arrested.

where is the link??

na wa oh, u never reach south africa u dey find permanent residence chei,  obruku full naija oh! no wonder scammers no one stop to dey try their luck na people like u dem dey pray to catch.
I beg if u no go sch, go sch small before u talk about travel because if the rotators catch u for SA as u mumu dem go roast u before dem strand u.

na people like u dem dey tell say train dey from South Africa to America.

You go blame Amodu?? e no talk since oh! untill him see say the man(Siasia) wen be threat to him job flop for egypt e come get power. chei naija sef wit magomago citizens.

where u dey complain na there people dey collect the visa. Stay there,

naija babes una see am?, bros I beg find me one somalian girl for that side jarre!!! nonsense, olorunmaje! make naija babes no blind our eyes, we need to look far and see real beauty not arrangee beauty.

Every Nigerian should watch the match against Tunis and Kenya, cos that is the decider, if Kenya score then attention can be paid to Nigeria match.

EXCUSE ME: Honest visa application (HVA)



To whomever it may concern, I wish to apply for a visa to your country. Let me be upfront with you, if you grant me entrance to your country I am not coming back to Nigeria anytime soon.



As usual, scan my documents with your sea-blue eyes and perfect white fingers, they are all genuine. I have three masters in various fields, but who is counting. I have a wife (not through arranged marriage, as you can see from the elaborate wedding album I have included in this application) and we have legitimate children here in Nigeria but don't worry about how they are going to cope in my absence. Let me deal with that separation anxiety and trauma.

I am being honest with you, because I don't want to be the butt of your drinking jokes in highbrow Ikoyi and Victoria Island gatherings.

Truth be told, it is in your interest to grant me and many other Nigerians visas and let me tell you why.

- The exorbitant visa fees you are charging me and thousands of Nigerians will go a long way to help your sagging economy and secure your job here in Nigeria.

I don't think you really fancy eating McDonalds' happy heart-stopping meals instead of your fresh organic salad, imported steaks, Thai food or Italian a la carte that you enjoy in Lagos.

- When I get to your country, with my numerous degrees, I am willing to take jobs your fellow citizens abhor and feel are beneath their blue-blooded feet. I will flip burgers and wash dishes with bare hands. I will accept a security job in a run-down, gun-toting, hard-drug-infested, needle-sharing and high school dropout neighbourhood.

- I will happily work the graveyard shift in your nursing and old people's homes, helping the aged parents you left behind. I will be responsible for prolonging the life of your really old parents, because I will change elderly diapers, wipe their wrinkled brows. I will turn and reposition them to avoid bedsores and make sure they take their medications. At social recreation I will tell them sweet tales about the Africa they don't know and will never know. I will tell stories about a country that treats their children with human kindness and tropical warmth. But I won't say a word that while they are abandoned in a lonely nursing home, eating pureed food and drinking awful tasting Ensure, you feast regularly on three course meals in four-star restaurants, swigging SWAN water and VSOP. I will not tell your parents that you have servants tending you and your dog in a spacious seaside house, while they have only me to take care of them and eight other geriatrics in an overcrowded facility. I won't tell your aged mother that you have a gardener who replenishes your vase every morning with fresh roses, lilies and orchids while she stares at a sagging basket with a fake-plastic fig tree all day long. The secret of your lush life in my country is safe with me.

- I will not pose any security risk in your country. Your citizens can sleep with both eyes closed, because I will never engage in a course that will not benefit me directly. Nobody is going to convince me to tie a bomb round my Nigerian chest and blow myself to pieces. You have lived in Nigeria long enough to know we are not suicide happy and we do not partake in non-economically viable adventures.

- In trying to regularise my stay and wriggle out of the "illegal immigrant" stigma, I will marry one of the many single mothers left to their woes by a non-present prison happy boyfriend. I will rent her a nice apartment and stepfather her children, while my children here yawn and gape at the Western Union line. I will remove her from the welfare list, less headache for your taxpaying citizens. I know I have told you earlier that I am married and polygamy is probably unlawful in your country. But technically, my Nigerian wife and children are not resident in your country, and your law does not cross the Atlantic Ocean like captured slaves.

- In filing my papers, I will make one of your quack lawyers richer.

- Your Internal Revenue department is free to overtax me, your police can harass me, your immigration officers can detain me despite my legitimate documents of lawful marriage and co-habitation, my employers can deny me promotions because of my accent and skin colour, my boss who has only high school certificate can correct my English language, your country can dehumanise me and see me as a tree-living National Geographic creature. I won't blame you because my visionless leaders compromised me.

Thanks for your anticipated co-operation, and please remember you have more to gain by granting me this visa.

@ Emeka the police are humans like us, ritual killers dont differentiate,  human is human to them as long as its a living human wit blood in the veins, do u want the police to be used for money rituals?  I learnt the police officers are better for money rituals especially if that officer is corrupt, if he has been collecting N20, N50, N100 frequently is blood will produce more those notes than one can imagine.

This is why the police decided to inform instead of arrest the situation, cos' they understand that they are guilty of dubious stealing from the public and their blood is must want by ritual killers. Since the oracle has never rejected an officer's blood.

Nigeria shuld learn from Ghana. Protect what we have for us. Especially since the world doesnt like us. Nigeria is like a prostitute foreigners come and use dump and go. Majority of Boko Haram followers were foreigners, why the military could execute them publicly to send a message to our neighbours I dont knw. Majority of the Okada riders congesting our roads and riding dangerously are frm neighbouring ecowas. Plus as Nigerians we like runing to other nations when we fail. If the world can stop issuing visas to all Nigerians we shall be forced to face our problems head on. Even if its to die for the cause so that children unborn will not go thro' the hellish situation we currently have.

Ghana continua, dont allow a failed big brother to bully you, You are an independent country and have a constitutional duty to put ur citizens first. Every country in Africa can not fail, set the record straight hopefully my failed big-for-nothing country (Nigeria) will learn and follow suit.

Nigerians if you dont like what Ghana govt policy with regard to work and business visas and you like the country, u knw what to do!!! pursue Ghanian citizenship, if u are a man marry a Ghana woman if you are a woman marry a Ghana man! we do it in Europe and America. Why should we use double standard for Ghana cos they are black like us!! If Ghanians were whites we would all shut our mouths.

I didnt knw anything like UK dream existed

Whts a bag of cement going for??

I love that pic of yaramugu wit boko haram

Abeg make we hear word??, who Joshua wan decieve I since last yr i have being telling my friends NK leader would die anytime soon so I see better that TB joshua is nw he is knowing the star will fall, yeye 419er. After watching CNN and knowing that the leader is sick wit grave illness he is preaching it to his followers chei mumu full Nigeria oh!

They should spend their time saving someone better not a drug dealer who knew what he was going into when he did what he did!, he thot he was a sharp man back then!!!

Yeah! white men are better in a way, they knw how to treat a woman,  but when they snap mentally they become serial killers or on bed they are next to zero!!! but when it come to treating a woman nicely, or telling her how good she looks buying her things and give her a suprise treat!, count a white man in. But I warn our girls whites are wired differently mentally, they easily snap and when they do, their reaction becomes totally unimaginative. Watch what u re asking for!!!

@Tegese,
Sorry oh!, No vex, when is your next visit to Singapore or Malaysia??, If u visit Singapore try and overstay for more than 3months. and if in Malaysia overstay for a month. I was even shocked that the video came out this is hard secret that the govts of these countries dont want any one to see. The only reason why that guy shouted allah akbhar is cos he is an Indonesian and they are predominatly muslim. Indonesians and philipinos where the first sets of citizens that malaysia immigration started flogging for yrs back cos' they are always repeat offenders when deported they take the next available boat back within hrs. They start flogging Africans 5yrs ago. But in Singapore they've been flogging Africans like flies for yrs, Its hard to imagine so I can understand the reason why u're dismissing it as islam related. The singapore authorities said failure of africans to understand and respect simple immigration laws means they are animals and u flog an animal to follow the law. Pray that you do not fall victim. No Nigerian will come and tell u he has been flog!, but I'm tell u 3 in every 8 Nigerian who goes to singapore gets floged. Cos' if u overstay after 3months its compulsory flogging and 1month in prison. In Malaysia most Africa carry passports with fake visa stamp so they are not easy to arrest, others run like Ben Johnson when the smell immigration matters, those Africans who get flogged in Malaysia are arrest for other crimes and then when immigration check their status and discover that they've overstay the judge applies the cane law.
Only ladies can verify what I'm saying IF u have a boyfriend that frequents Singapore or Malaysia or have been going for yrs, during sex stylishly check his ass, if u see multi black strokes across it, u knw he was once a victim.